Do you monitor your teens online activity?

[westjones]

I have read that there is software that lets you monitor what is being said in chat rooms and in IMs on the computers in your house.

Is this common? Do parents usually monitor what is being said online with their teens?

I really don't want to do that. But I am just not sure how much I am suppose to be looking into what is going on with my teens. So far, they haven't done anything to worry me, and they are good kids. So is this something you only do when you become concerned?

I just don't know. What are we suppose to be doing as parents to look out for our kids in this new era of tech talk?

So I would love to know what others are doing.
Thanks,
DJ

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

I'm 16, and my parents do not monitor my internet activity. However, they do have the ability to shut off my internet from their computer, and they've had to do that once because of an unrelated issue. 2 years ago, I went behind their backs and became really close to someone I met online. We talked on AIM and even over the phone. About 2 months later, I came clean. Yeah, they were pretty darn pissed, and didn't trust me for awhile.

I'm sure there's a logistical reason behind it, but I'm not sure what it is.

 

[MoniqueU]

I have a 16 year old son and no I don't monitor his, he is real responsible and games more then anything. My 12 year old is another story. You have to watch her like a hawk.

 

[HelenePA]

I'm sure there's a logistical reason behind it, but I'm not sure what it is.

When your a parent you'll understand why we do some of the stuff we do.. meeting someone from the internet is a unsafe thing for a 14 (you said 2 years ago right?) yr old to do!! You never really know who's on the other side of that computer!!

I dont have a teen yet but will I monitor them then? I dunno depends on how much they earn my trust I guess.

 

[Cindy B]

OK lets see... it more of what we don't do...

First, we have time settings on the router so no internet usage between 10 pm and 6 am.

Second, we have keystroke logger.

Third, we have the laptop and PC on corded wired internet so there is no slunking off into the next room

Fourth, we have limited texts to only after 3 pm to 9 pm Monday through Friday and all long distance phone numbers are blocked (local area codes only).

Fifth, DH has a ghosting program so he can see what is on machines at all times.

 

[ilovejack02]

OK lets see... it more of what we don't do...

First, we have time settings on the router so no internet usage between 10 pm and 6 am.

Second, we have keystroke logger.

Third, we have the laptop and PC on corded wired internet so there is no slunking off into the next room

Fourth, we have limited texts to only after 3 pm to 9 pm Monday through Friday and all long distance phone numbers are blocked (local area codes only).

Fifth, DH has a ghosting program so he can see what is on machines at all times.

Wow , any particular reason so tight on the computers or just being very very cautious?


My oldest is 20 so no we dont monitor him anymore.

When he was younger, I had his myspace password in fact all passwords to every account he had and he knew I could check it at anytime. I did check everything but not real often.

We only had one computer in the house and it was in the main living room, so we could see what he was doing at all times.
Sometimes I checked history and he knew it better all be there.

We never really had any issues thank goodness.
But if we had the computer would have been on lock down prob forever lol.

 

[Cindy B]

Wow , any particular reason so tight on the computers or just being very very cautious?


My oldest is 20 so no we dont monitor him anymore.

When he was younger, I had his myspace password and he knew I could check it at anytime. I did check it but not real often.

We only had one computer in the house and it was in the main living room, so we could see what he was doing at all times.
Sometimes I checked history and he knew it better all be there.

We never really had any issues thank goodness.

Yes, there were reasons. This is just normal precautions actually. I do have a younger daughter and a teen son who likes to push boundaries.

Keystroke logger and router restrictions have always been in place. Corded PC and laptop and text restrictions was because of a relationship with someone in another state .. much like the PP.

 

[MushyMushy]

Oh yes we did! I can't remember what it was called, but we had an AIM logger because that's what my son used for chatting. I also had his MySpace password unbeknownst to him and checked it regularly. I stopped doing it when he started becoming more trustworthy and now at 18, I don't do it at all. He was a pretty out-of-control kid, so I used whatever means necessary to keep an eye out and to try to keep him safe.

My daughter, we haven't done it with her yet, but if she gives us reason, you betcha!

 

[Vixen]

i had internet in my house since i was 15 or so im 25 now my parents never moniterd me no pages blocked or anything i guess they trusted me

 

[KAMLEM]

I'm 16, and my parents do not monitor my internet activity.

You don't THINK they monitor your activity, you don't know for sure. Trust me.

 

[MushyMushy]

You don't THINK they monitor your activity, you don't know for sure. Trust me.

BINGO!

My son could not figure out for the life of him where I got my information. I kept telling him it was a small town and I knew a lot of people. True, so true. But it's not where I was getting all my info.

 

[Cindy B]

You don't THINK they monitor your activity, you don't know for sure. Trust me.

My son only knows about the text restrictions, BTW!

 

[Barb D]

I don't. My kids are on the internet constantly. In fact, DD15 homeschools using an online high school. There's no way I could possibly monitor everything they do. They're trustworthy kids anyway.

 

[Cindy B]

Kids will delete history or reconstruct web activity logs... Kids will use a different type of webpage (meebo for example) instead of going directly on AIM or any type of messenger programs. They will also try to change router or registry settings to try to gain access..

Ask me how I know all of these things? It's all been done in my house.

And for the most part, my kids are good kids. They just try to do things they aren't supposed to. We all did this. I'm just stating for other not to take a blind eye and just say "my kids are good"== they may very be, but that doesn't stop them from trying to do things they aren't supposed to.

 

[sanibelsettler]

Even trustworthy kids make bad decisions. Their brains aren't capable of knowing the difference, sometimes. I've known many adults who made horrible internet choices! We randomly monitor, and they know it.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

When your a parent you'll understand why we do some of the stuff we do.. meeting someone from the internet is a unsafe thing for a 14 (you said 2 years ago right?) yr old to do!! You never really know who's on the other side of that computer!!

Yeah, exactly. As mad as they were, I think somewhere on the inside they were pleased that I came clean before anything serious happened.

You don't THINK they monitor your activity, you don't know for sure. Trust me.

It's a possibility.

 

[sanibelsettler]

Yeah, exactly. As mad as they were, I think somewhere on the inside they were pleased that I came clean before anything serious happened.

LOL, when my son googled "nudity" he confessed the next morning. But only because he thought he had infected our computer with a virus!

 

[Camicar]

I do not. I would if I had any reason to do so, but I don't. Our computers are all in public areas, as well.

That said, it all depends upon the kid. If I were the parents of some of her classmates, it would be a different story. Sadly, from what I see the kids who most need the monitoring have parents who are indifferent or blind to reality.

Example: When my dd was 12, one of her friends had a My Space page and was making plans to meet a 'boy' from a nearby high school while she was ostensibly going to the movies with my dd. She was planning on ditching my dd once they got there. My dd was appalled at her friend's choice and was convinced the girl was going to be abducted/raped and so told us what was going on. We knew the parents quite well and my dh talked to the father asap. He had no idea that his dd had a My Space page, that it was against the TOU for a 12 year old to have a My Space page and therefore that she'd lied about her age to do so, that she was communicating with strangers, and making plans to meet said strangers at a movie theater. What's worse... he really didn't seem to care very much. My dh didn't want to, but did get in his face about it before he agreed to 'look into it.' Dh felt like he had to do that for this girl's safety, since her own parents weren't concerned.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

LOL, when my son googled "nudity" he confessed the next morning. But only because he thought he had infected our computer with a virus!

Okay, that's just too funny.

 

[sanibelsettler]

Okay, that's just too funny.

Yep. 15 years old, first time, and one of those freaky spyware popups kept coming onto the screen!