Do you have children with an ex-spouse or significant other??

[NY Disney fan]

If you share kids with an ex, do you still care about your ex? I mean, if your ex is important to your child, is the ex important to you?

 

[Liberty Belle]

I've often wondered about this and not just if you have kids with him.

Besides my husband I only had one super serious (where we discussed marriage) relationship and though he was a jerk and I broke up with him, I still care about him and have feelings for him, I guess. I mean, I absolutely would not want to get back together with him, even if DH and I weren't together, but I'm thinking some feelings never go away.

So I often wonder if people who get divorced feel the same way.

 

[htmom]

My ex hasnt seen our son in about 6 months and anytime I try and schedule a time he backs out. So no I no longer care about him. He has also found ways to pay minimum child support by not paying, going to jail, paying minimum to be released then starting all over. It is very frusturating

 

[wdwmom2]

I have 2 children with my ex.

I only wish him best with his life, but that is as far as it goes.

I do get along with hime quite well as far as our children are concerned. But not much communication now that our DD's are 20 and 27.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

If my ex was a mature, responsible adult who kept our son's best interest in the forefront.

If the reason we divorced was simply a "growing apart" type of thing

then I'd still care about him and his life.

He isn't, it wasn't, I don't.

 

[Bren's Mom]

If you share kids with an ex, do you still care about your ex? I mean, if your ex is important to your child, is the ex important to you?

For my dh, yes. He shares a son with his ex, and he still cares about her. He wants his son's mother to be happy and healthy. One way he shows this is by always paying his child support. Another way is by choosing a new spouse (that's me! LOL) who cares about their child, and about the child having TWO happy, healthy, stable, loving homes with no strife. Dh (and I, and our younger child) attend major family events with his ex's family, we share large events in dss's life (like joint graduation parties). And dh still does things for his ex when asked nicely, like going to get her when the car breaks down, or helping her with something in her house.

 

[Amg120499]

I guess I still care about my ex. Or maybe I should say I feel sorry for him. His life is a mess and just called me this morning asking to borrow money because he just got picked up for not paying his child support from his first marriage. (FYI - this child is 19, has her own kid and is not in college). Now, he doesn't pay me anything either but I don't have a support order through the courts with him because I was waiting for his first order to be over with before I filed.

So, maybe I don't really care all that much because I won't be bailing him out. I can't really even believe he had the nerve to call and ask me.

 

[punkin]

When my sister died her ex (the had a child together) called me and started crying on the phone about how much he cared about her. It was very strange.

 

[Michelle67]

Yeah, I do. And he still cares about me. There's no way I'd ever consider being with him again, because frankly he's a selfish jerk in a relationship and can't keep it in his pants. But as long as you aren't trying to have a committed relationship with the guy, he's a pretty good friend. Our daughter will be 22 soon, but he still calls to check on me when my husband is deployed, and has come over to help me when I needed him more than once during deployments (most notably digging me out from under a freak 12" of snow that I wasn't prepared for because it NEVER happens here).

Being on good terms didn't come overnight, but it was something we arrived at eventually. There were still lots of times I wanted to bash him in his silly head when our daughter was younger, though. He can be such an idiot...

 

[divabydisney]

Absolutely not. I don't want any bad things to happen, however I do not go out of my way at all. He OTOH tells me all the time how we should be together, I constantly tell him to get on with his life. It's even more odd because he doesn't really call or care too much about our son. He doesn't see him regularly, didn't pay child support for the past 2 years, and we live in the same city. It's rather strange to me so we get along by telephone only. It's usually a one way conversation.

 

[JennyKS]

No. We have shared custody. He pays no child support as it's suppose to be 50/50. My daughter loves him and I am sure he loves her. As for he and I, I am positive there are no feelings whatsoever. We don't fight, yet we don't talk unless it's in regards to our daughter. Other then that, there is completely nothing to talk about. If my daughter was never in the picture, he isn't someone I would want to be friends with anymore.

Got married way to young and boy as we got older BOTH of us changed.

 

[Shmily1]

Nope, don't care for him at all. I might have if he hadn't tried to kill me in front of my kids and burned our house down.... after that, I'm pretty much not caring for him anymore.

 

[canadianjovigirl]

Nope he is an ex for good reasons. He does not understand why we cant be friends and hang out together etc............ummmmmmmm i dont like you and you have no qualities that i look for in friends so that would be why.

He is not a very good dad to my oldest daughter either and has caused alot of anguish and problems there to so if he fell of the face of the earth i would be sad for her to never have the kind of daughter/dad relationship with him that she craves, but it wouldnt really bother me other than that.

I do have better relationships with other ex's but no children with them.

 

[Pakey]

I have one child with my ex-husband and my husband has two children with his ex-wife. My current husband and I have been married 27 years. My ex-husband lives in another state so we don't have much contact but things have always been more than civil between us. My husband's ex-wife is one of my best friends. We co-parented all these years, my son went to her house all of the time with his "brothers", we attended all functions together and we get along fabulously. We even go on family vacations together. We now share grandchildren and I strongly believe that all of us have gained a gteat deal in life by having such a good relationship.

 

[Harley Quinn]

I have one child with my ex-husband and my husband has two children with his ex-wife. My current husband and I have been married 27 years. My ex-husband lives in another state so we don't have much contact but things have always been more than civil between us. My husband's ex-wife is one of my best friends. We co-parented all these years, my son went to her house all of the time with his "brothers", we attended all functions together and we get along fabulously. We even go on family vacations together. We now share grandchildren and I strongly believe that all of us have gained a gteat deal in life by having such a good relationship.

That sounds like my parents. My parent's split 26 years ago. My parents get along well they will phone each other to talk about the kids (We are 32 and 29 ) sort out Christmas we spend Christmas together every few years. We even did our first trip to Disney together. They all adore me and my sister and our children and it helps us as we never feel we have to decided between our parents.

To make it even more bizzare my Mum's sister and BIL are two of my Dad and Stepmother's best friends.

My DS father nope have no relationship with him at all. Wish we could of but he made he choices and he can live with them. I've built a new life for our son and myself and he does not factor into it.

 

[wvjules]

If you share kids with an ex, do you still care about your ex? I mean, if your ex is important to your child, is the ex important to you?

No, the POS isn't important to me.

 

[njmom47]

Nope, I left (with dds ages 3 mos and 19 mos at the time) my own home to get away from him. It was ugly and scary and dd1 has tried to contact him a few times (with disastrous results), and dd2 has NO interest in meeting him at all.

 

[NMAmy]

, even if DH and I weren't together, but I'm thinking some feelings never go away.

So I often wonder if people who get divorced feel the same way.

Sometimes a person can kill any fond feelings that you had for him.

My dd is grown now (almost 21) and my ex and I have no problem being in the same room and making pleasant, non-awkward conversation. But he's more like a guy I knew vaguely in high school. He treated me so crappily that I have absolutely no romantic or fond feelings left for him and would be totally okay if I never saw him again.

I stuck up for him over the years in an attempt to shield my dd's feelings but she's at the point now where she told me a few weeks ago that if he wasn't paying for half her tuition, she'd very easily cut him out of her life forever. He treated her badly and refuses to discuss any of his actions with her and blames her for everything that went bad between them. He's always had a hard time being the grownup and now his grownup daughter refuses to let his actions slide.

 

[NY Disney fan]

The responses to this thread are very enlightening.

 

[4greatboys]

I'm not friends with my ex. I don't like him and he is not a good parent. He has always cared more about himself and put himself first and his kids somewhere after that. I'm not a fan of anyone who makes my kids feel bad.