Do/Did you regret...

[hotveggy]

How much you spent on your wedding gown. Whether it was TOO much or TOO little, do you wish you would have spent more or less on your gown. I am just past the one year mark for my countdown and i have been searching for wedding gowns. I had in my head that i was only going to spend X amount of $$, but now the dress that i am in LOVE with is a bit over the budget. I have discussed it with many people (mostly family and friends) and have gotten mixed views. Some say "it is your one special day, you should get what you want." others say "it is only one day, do you really want to spend that much money." I tend to be a very practical and sometimes frugal person, and i have a hard time spending so much money on one day and something i am never going to where again. My DF says that i should just get it and not worry about it bc he does not want me to regret it in the future. we are paying for the wedding ourselves, so we do have a budget= but i could swing the extra $ for the dress.

what feelings do you all have on this?

 

[Rustyflwr3]

My opinion is that you should go ahead and slurge for the dress. You are right in the fact that it is only one day, but it is one of the most important days of your life. I say go for whatever makes you happy!! Follow your heart!

 

[Teri Zolman]

You need to get exactly what you want. I didn't speak up 15 years ago when we first got married. My mom talked me into a dress that I really didn't want. Now when we are renewing our vows, I am getting what I want.

 

[ahutton]

The dress I originally fell in love with was WAY out of my budget. I found a similar dress by a different maker that was significantly less, then I talked to the dress shop. She agreed to sell me the sample for a 20% discount, and even with the alterations required I still made it within my budget window. It helped a bunch that I searched thrift stores and found my slip in one for $15 and my headpiece at an outlet store for $40 too. All together with shoes, bag, and underthings (which are expensive!) I ended up less than $750.

 

[keswick1uk]

When we married I couldn't afford a wedding dress. They were all above budget as I really had very little to spend at all.

I was going to buy a suit so I could use it afterwards for work.

Then a member of our family offered to make me something, so I could have a special dress, and I found a lovely pattern and bought some dupion silk. It cost £85 ($180) and was beautiful. In fact, my daughter has asked to wear it for her wedding. (Shes only young so will, perhaps, change her mind before then). Having said that my sister in law wanted it 5 yeras ago, and I had no say no.

What I am trying to say is..if money is no object really go for it. Going over budget here may be able to be saved elsewhere. Thats certainly what I did as £85 was more than I would have paid for a suit so I scrimped somewhere else.

Otherwise, don't go for something you cannot afford. Don't look at the label, or the cost. You will be so naturally lovely on your big day often simpler is better. You will never wish you had paid more because the dress you choose will always be beautiful to you. Its one of the few in your wardrobe/closet that comes with something you cannot pay for; memories.

 

[colormouse]

I say get the dress you love! I fell in love with my gown the first time I put in on. I didn't want to take it off! I spent $739 plus tax, plus $100 to order the exact length. (i'm on the petite side) I didn't even look at the price tag. If your fiance tells you its okay to get what you want, then listen to him, if only this once This is YOUR day so splurge!!! You can save money elsewhere, like on your shoes and accessories. I have seen slips and other things on EBAY for a reasonable price, and you can save money on favors. When you look at your pictures, you do not want to regret not getting what you really wanted and neither will your husband to be. Enjoy your year of planning it goes by so fast. I have a little more than 3 months left. Best of luck with your planning. And you will be beautiful no matter what you wear to your husband and guests, but you may be more so to yourself if you are in your dream gown.

Candace

 

[Nee Nee and Biddy]

Buy the dress you want! You can never get that day back and it would be terrible to regret your choice. If your dress is not in your budget, maybe you could make it in your budget by scrimping in another area (sometimes hard to do with a disney wedding!). Let us know what you decide!

 

[Davids-Coco]

No flames please.... I know I'm lucky...

My custom made gown was $1800 for everything, including steaming and the tons of work that went into it. I love love love my dress and keep attempting to find a reason to wear it again. (And if I can fit into it in 10 years when we do our vow renewal, I will definately wear it! But I'm not sure my waist will ever be that tiny again.) I know that it was a lot of money but I wouldn't have had it any other way. It was perfect, it was me, and I loved how I looked in it.

Do what is going to make you happy... It is a once in a lifetime thing (maybe more for some).

 

[Amberle3]

Warning! Long and rambling due to lack of sleep....

I bought my dress about 15 years ago - I was engaged then and even though I didn't have a date set for the wedding I thought I'd look at dresses. I went into one store that had a mega sale, found a dress I liked that was affordable ($298) and bought it. I also bought 2 veils because I couldn't decide which one I liked better, I think they were $50 total for both. Ended up breaking off the relationship later that year, but kept the dress and veils.

Now since I have the dress already, and I still like the dress, I'm planning on wearing it at my wedding next year. After all, I bought the dress for my wedding, it's just later than I thought it would be.

Having said that, if I didn't already have the dress frankly I think I'd just rent one. Now maybe this is from the fact that I'll be 35 when I get married, or possibly because I've spent the last year or so slowly sorting through my clothes and giving bags away to charity. But realistically speaking I'm never going to wear my wedding dress again, so it's total useful life will be about 12 hours. Unless it's in style years from now my daughter (should I have one) likely won't want to wear it. It's going to sit in a box, be looked at occasionally and then eventually either sold or thrown out. Sad but true.

When I was 20 all I could think about was the dress. It was THE most important element at the time. And the church had to just be right, and I must have looked at 20 reception options. And expensive invitations, and wedding favours etc etc.

Nope, if I didn't already have a dress there's no way I'd be spending the money to buy one now. I'm not buying a new purse, I'm not buying expensive & uncomfortable shoes, I'm not spending a fortune on undergarments. For me now it doesn't really matter what I'm wearing when I get married. It's not the dress that's important, it's the marriage.

I'm not even picking out what my Maid of Honour will wear, or suggesting any colours. I don't care about colours. I have 1 MoH (no other bridesmaids) and I'll be happy if she shows up in a nice pant suit. All total the wedding & reception will last under 12 hours. It's a lot of money to spend for 12 hours.

BTW, FWIW my entire budget is under $25K Canadian. That includes return airfare & hotel in Vegas, the wedding, photography, reception and all related trappings, a week in Anaheim right after (for DL and to touch base with family there) including hotel & park passes etc, and then after a short break return airfare to MCO for the honeymoon, 4 day DCL cruise, a week at WDW (hotel and park passes), Discovery Cove, car rental, tips, and meals for 2 throughout the entire thing. That also includes the invitations and any needed alterations on the dress. If for whatever reason I can't wear the dress, then the alterations $$ should cover a dress rental.

I'm still still trying to come to grips with spending $25K for 2.5 weeks.

 

[D&R love Disney]

I absolutely loved my dress! I thought the $900 was very reasonable and Mom was expecting more. There was only one other dress that I really liked and it was way out of budget (a Kenneth Pool) so it wasn't even seriously considered.

If you can afford it go for it but look around you might find something else you love even more.

 

[JoD]

I just got married in May in WDW and everyday I look at my dress in the Wedding pictures, I LOVE my dress and it looks so beautiful in the photos. I can't imagine wearing a dress that I didn't LOVE and looking at my photo's and having regrets. Fortunetly for me my dress wasn't very exspensive but I started off looking at Demetrio's Wedding gowns around $2,000.00 to $3,000.00 and I really liked them until I tried mine on and fell in LOVE with it for much less.
Having just recently gotten married, I say keep looking and if you keep going back to the one you love then get it and don't think about the cost, just remember that you don't get a second chance for your wedding day and enjoy it and remember it is the most beautiful day of your life and you want to feel that way about yourself too.

 

[keswick1uk]

Amberle,

I'm with you on this one. For lots of people money is, comparatively, no object. Thats great; one can have what one wants and I wouldn't deny anyone in that situation the full list of 'wedding options'.

Were though there *isn't* the money I would like everyone to realise their day will be equally beautiful *however* much they spend. In 10 years time the things you remember aren't the favors, the posed photos, the incy-wincy particulars. You will remember the family smiles, the happy chatter, the taking of your vows and strangely enough, you will remember with humour the things that went wrong! (Perhaps a disney wedding never gets those ;-)

 

[jennycee]

I tried on my dress and fell in love instantly. I really didn't set a budget for my dress, just wanted to get out there and find it. It was more than I thought I would pay, but I am very happy with my choice. I plan on doing this once, and I don't want to have to settle for my dress, it will be around in the photos forever and I truly felt like a bride in that dress.

You have to do what you think is right, I say if you love that dress and feel like a bride, and the most special you have in anything, then get it!

 

[jodistar]

I won't be getting married until October 2005 money is an issue with me also,FI and I will be paying for the wedding and our own honeymoon. I did decide to look ahead of time and found the perfect dress and it is quite expensive. So what I did was:

1. Ask FI what he thought if I spent that much money and he was fine with it, he wants me to be happy and feel like Cinderella as much as possible.

2. I thought of this as a perfect opportunity for my Disney Visa card....I will be building up points (We plan on having our Honeymoon at Disney World).

So, I say go for what makes you happy, talk it over with your FI and see how he feels....Find ways of saving on other things for your wedding.

 

[zalansky]

I went way over budget and spent $1400 on a dress that I fell in love with at a boutique. That, of course, did not include alterations, undergarments and the matching headpiece. All together I think I spent about $2000.
I look at my dress that now hangs in my parents closet (no I didn't get it preserved) and wonder why I wasted so much money. I think if I'd been more open minded, and kept looking, I could have found something far more reasonable that I would have liked just as much. Yes, it is your special day, but it is only one day and wedding expenses add up quickly.
I have seen many brides with beautiful gowns that I liked much better than mine for quite a bit less than what I spent. But ultimately, do what your heart tells you....
Good luck and congratulations.

 

[teachprek2]

I found a picture of the dress I wanted in a bridal magazine. I love hearts and this dress had a heart in the front and one in the back. My mom tried to say that the dress was too low in the front, but I bought it anyway. We found it at the very first store we went to and it was the ONLY wedding dress I ever tried on (except for my mom's dress when I was younger). In our wedding video you can hear my husband say "I can see down your dress". We still laugh about it even though you could NOT see down my dress unless you were looking right in it from the front about 2 inches from my body! My dress was originally $600 and it was on sale when we bought it. I've NEVER regretted buying it!! That was 10 years ago and DH and I will be celebrating our anniversary this Friday! I say GO FOR IT!!

 

[hotveggy]

Just wanted to thank everyone for the responses. It is always nice to get opinions from other brides. I have decided that i am going to keep looking, and that if i can't find anything i like as much then i will go with my 1st pick as of now. I know that i can add it to my budget and still be "ok", but i still have trouble justifying that much money, esp since it is over my budget as of now without alterations, undergarments and shoes/accessories.

We actually aren't having a disney wedding as most of you are, just having a disneyMOON instead!! I looked into weddings at disney and just couldn't swing the cost. Since i didn't get to have my dream disney wedding i am having a disney themed at home wedding; however, maybe that is just another reason that i should get the dress i want.... Can you tell that i am trying to convince myself of this still?? hehe

Thanks again for all the responses, and keep them coming. I am still interested to know what everyone else thinks.

 

[Nee Nee and Biddy]

I totally agree with zalansky! The first dress I tried on cost $1500. I loved it and had to have it, but I just couldn't see spending that much. The second dress I tried on cost $1100 (getting warmer) and I liked it more than the first. I had to have it! (are you seeing a pattern?) Then, just to see my options, I tried on a third dress that was perfect Really perfect this time! It was only $675. I think that you should get what you love, and not worry about the cost too much, but also really explore your options. Good luck!

 

[totalia]

I made mine out of satin for $70. There's no reason to spend a fortune on your gown when you can get it for a fraction of what the stores are charging.

 

[Kismetdreams]

I got very lucky. My dress is off the rack from David's Bridal, no alterations needed, save for the bustle, which was $30. I paid $572 for the dress and the crinoline slip. I bought it during a $75 off sale, which they have several times a year). My veil was $51, the shoes $35 and the tiara free. I bought a strapless bra on sale at wal-mart for $10. No special undies, figured he wouldn't care what I was wearing!