Disrespect

[jen0610]

DH will call me "the old lady". And seeing as I am 14 months older than him, I am his old lady.

I would have taken it as being an inside joke with them.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would have to see how the whole conversation went, what the husband's general tone & attitude were etc.

One can usually tell when a comment is made in a loving way, even if the wording of the comment itself might be a bit . And one can usually tell when someone is being disrespectful.

As far as the MYOB thing...well does anyone every truly MYOB all the time? Of course not. We all have something that really doesn't concern us that we will still note and perhaps comment about. For some folks it's what they overhear in a public place, for some folks it's what their neighbors are doing, for some folks it's what their co-workers are doing. But we all, every once in awhile, mind someone else's business.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I don't know if she was upset or mot. I just found it terribly disrespectful.y.DH has NEVER said things like that my or my children's presence

I would be more likely to think he was being disrespectful if he were saying that sort of thing OUT of her presence. Then, you might think he actually kind of feels that way--but such an over the top, cliche, phrase with her there? Eh, I'd guess it were a joke. If anything, most of the time when someone jokes like that, they feel the exact opposite of that things--which is what makes t funny to them.

Sort of like when we call DD16 and or DS14 when we are out of the house. We'll say something like, we just left the grocery store, so you have about 15 minutes to get all of your party animal friends out of the house and the empty beer bottles stashed away. We don;t think they have been drinking or would throw a party, etc. We just want them to get the garage door opened for us, or when DH is texting his boss back, or bidding on some new stereo equipment and I ask him how is girlfriend is doing--I'm not accusing him of having an affair--I'm joking with him about being on his phone.

 

[Becky2005]

We just want them to get the garage door opened for us, or when DH is texting his boss back, or bidding on some new stereo equipment and I ask him how is girlfriend is doing--I'm not accusing him of having an affair--I'm joking with him about being on his phone.

That's funny...I remember as kids when my dad would call home and we would tell my mom "it's your boyfriend".

 

[rajak73]

DH &I were in Costco yesterday. I walked by a man standing with his two young sons just in time to hear him say, "let's find the old ball &chain.". Pretty loud, too. And his very attractive wife was standing less than 10 ft away. She had to have heard him. I didn't say anything, but I was offended. How could he speak that way about his wife, especially in public AND in the presence of his boys? Nice going, Crap Dad, teaching your kids how to treat women.

If my DH talked about me like that ,it would be game on!

I hope you are not standing next to me in the store when my DW calls on the phone, sirens go off and the phone says, "Warning, it's the wife calling, warning, it's the wife calling!" Oh, by the way, we have been married for 39 years so there's a lot of little jokes between us that is NO ONE ELSES BUSINESS!

 

[Sam81]

OMG! OP I would have been so offended and devastated that my day would literally been ruined. Is there anyway you can track this person down? I am afraid of the wife suffering even more verbal abuse.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I used to have a tag that said "It's not your day to eat. Maybe tomorrow". Whenever my DD used to whine about being hungry that's what I'd say to her. Once we noticed the horrified looks on people's faces it became even more amusing. I would say that (and BTW I'm overweight) to this little, tiny skinny kid and then she would look at me with the most pathetic face and say something like "I understand, it's okay" or "It's okay, I can wait". And we'd walk off laughing our butts off at the people who were left in our wake, completely dumbfounded. Sarcasm spoken fluently.

 

[ccgirl]

I don't see the problem. I'm sure he was just fooling around. My husband and I do that all the time. Our kids know that too. Hardly anything to get your panties in a bunch about.

What have things become that now even messing around with your loved ones in not PC anymore. Some days I really weep for our future.

Yup...us too. DH always jokes "it's time to trade you in for a new model" now that I'm over 40. I know he's just joking. We've been together for 23 years.

 

[Acklander]

I used to have a tag that said "It's not your day to eat. Maybe tomorrow". Whenever my DD used to whine about being hungry that's what I'd say to her. Once we noticed the horrified looks on people's faces it became even more amusing. I would say that (and BTW I'm overweight) to this little, tiny skinny kid and then she would look at me with the most pathetic face and say something like "I understand, it's okay" or "It's okay, I can wait". And we'd walk off laughing our butts off at the people who were left in our wake, completely dumbfounded. Sarcasm spoken fluently.

I used to date a guy who would start all these bizarre conversations when we were eating at Denny's or sitting at the bus stop, in elevators, or any other high evesdrop location. They were absolutely hysterical and you had to be quick on your feet to keep up AND keep a straight face. One time he was doing out some story on how he couldn't leave his wife for me because she tended to get over emotional and how I should list someone else on the birth certificate as the father of my baby and so on when this old lady walked up to him, slapped him across the face, and then stormed off. After that he toned it down a bit.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Yup...us too. DH always jokes "it's time to trade you in for a new model" now that I'm over 40. I know he's just joking. We've been together for 23 years.

Yep. When DH turned 40 I told him I was going to trade him in for 2 20's.

We also have an ongoing dialogue about me running off with Raoul the pool man. We don't know a Raoul or have a pool.

As much as DH and I respect and show respect for one another (one of his rants to DS when he was younger was, "It's not that you don't speak to your mother that way, it's that you DON'T treat MY WIFE that way" left a huge impression on DS), I think it's also important for the kids to know that we can kid around and have fun as well as be the disciplinarians.

 

[goofyintoronto]

OMG! OP I would have been so offended and devastated that my day would literally been ruined. Is there anyway you can track this person down? I am afraid of the wife suffering even more verbal abuse.

OMG this is hysterical. LOL!!

I used to have a tag that said "It's not your day to eat. Maybe tomorrow". Whenever my DD used to whine about being hungry that's what I'd say to her. Once we noticed the horrified looks on people's faces it became even more amusing. I would say that (and BTW I'm overweight) to this little, tiny skinny kid and then she would look at me with the most pathetic face and say something like "I understand, it's okay" or "It's okay, I can wait". And we'd walk off laughing our butts off at the people who were left in our wake, completely dumbfounded. Sarcasm spoken fluently.

I love sarcastic twisted humor. So I would be laughing at a comment like that, "ball & chain". LMAO!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

We say stuff to eachother like that all the time. It keeps us laughing. Together 31 years and my DH still cracks me up. The kids have developed similar senses of humor, so we all laugh together. It's a good thing.

If it were true abuse, that would be a different story. I think you can tell, like others have said, by the context of the details of the situation.

I do get, though, that to some people, saying certain things would never be ok. Maybe that's how you were raised, Minkydog?

 

[ariel71]

Lighten up, Francis.

Just don't put the immediately preceding lines on a Tshirt that you then wear on an airplane...

 

[rajak73]

I used to date a guy who would start all these bizarre conversations when we were eating at Denny's or sitting at the bus stop, in elevators, or any other high evesdrop location. They were absolutely hysterical and you had to be quick on your feet to keep up AND keep a straight face. One time he was doing out some story on how he couldn't leave his wife for me because she tended to get over emotional and how I should list someone else on the birth certificate as the father of my baby and so on when this old lady walked up to him, slapped him across the face, and then stormed off. After that he toned it down a bit.

 

[mfd25wife]

DH &I were in Costco yesterday. I walked by a man standing with his two young sons just in time to hear him say, "let's find the old ball &chain.". Pretty loud, too. And his very attractive wife was standing less than 10 ft away. She had to have heard him. I didn't say anything, but I was offended. How could he speak that way about his wife, especially in public AND in the presence of his boys? Nice going, Crap Dad, teaching your kids how to treat women.

If my DH talked about me like that ,it would be game on!

I am a married female. I would not be offended. It's probably a joke between them. Heck, I've even bought and signed a card for DH "I love you, the ole ball and chain".

All due respect, but I think so many people now are offended by things too easily. For example, I am still shaking my head over the older threads where some were offended by the word "ma'am" or men holding doors open.

 

[TheSchragFamily]

Some phrases might be equivocal, but to me, "ball and chain" is so silly that there's no way he meant it disrespectfully. He's not a 1940s cartoon character!!!

 

[mfd25wife]

I hope you are not standing next to me in the store when my DW calls on the phone, sirens go off and the phone says, "Warning, it's the wife calling, warning, it's the wife calling!" Oh, by the way, we have been married for 39 years so there's a lot of little jokes between us that is NO ONE ELSES BUSINESS!

DH has the same ringtone for me.

 

[rajak73]

DH has the same ringtone for me.

 

[jgh]

Even if it's a joke and meant to be taken lightly, I don't take things said like that in that way. I hate when people refer to their wives as "the old ball and chain". I hate when I see those stupid shirts saying "Game Over"...with the bride and groom. It's disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. That's just my opinion though. I guess I just don't see the humor in it.

 

[SAT]

My DH, DS and I were on layover in an airport. DH and DS headed off to the restroom while I waited alone at our gate. As they were heading back an announcement came on about reporting unattended bags. DH asked my son if they should report me for sitting there alone.

I thought is was funny and disrespectful never entered my mind.