Dis lawyers: Divorce/custody

[thedonduck]

Ummm....I'm feeling a little dumb here. What's the point of that? I mean, who else would they have to be replying to except to the OP?

It is in case the OP comes back and deletes there post but the thread remains!

 

[KaLyn]

Because it's been known to happen that when threads take a dramatic turn, or if things don't go the OP's way, they will edit their original post. They can't edit their quoted post, so by quoting it, it will always be visible, even if it is later altered.

Ahhhhhhhhh! Got it! Thanks!

OP, sorry for interrupting. Continue on...

 

[bellebud]

I'd also be careful w/ everything financial. If you have credit cards you both use, money in a savings account, checking account, etc. Your lawyer of course will direct you on that specifically, but she could easily spend a ton of money before you get a handle on everything.

 

[lauradis]

Op how about court ordered marriage counseling.

That would add licensed, court appointed, 3rd party witness and more then likely in your favor if she isn't stable.

Your not trash. I'm sorry your hurting, hug your children more, your blessed to have them.

 

[CaliBear]

I've always liked this poster and want to wish him best of luck.

This thread has also been very interesting and informative. I never knew about LeVeyan Satanists.

One question, can message board posts really be used in a court of law? I thought even text messages and emails were considered unreliable? For example, my husband could pretty easily post as me at various boards, text or email so I would think that kind of thing would make e-communications questionable in a court.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

Op how about court ordered marriage counseling.

That would add licensed, court appointed, 3rd party witness and more then likely in your favor if she isn't stable.

Your not trash. I'm sorry your hurting, hug your children more, your blessed to have them.

Not every state would order marriage counseling. Abd why do you assume both parties would be interested in counseling anyhow?

 

[Lorelei Lee]

I've always liked this poster and want to wish him best of luck.

This thread has also been very interesting and informative. I never knew about LeVeyan Satanists.

One question, can message board posts really be used in a court of law? I thought even text messages and emails were considered unreliable? For example, my husband could pretty easily post as me at various boards, text or email so I would think that kind of thing would make e-communications questionable in a court.

In case you haven't yet "met" me . . .I've been practicing law for 30 years. And i just sat through a two hour continuing legal education seminar on social media.

What you post on facebook and twitter and etc. can and will be discovered and most definitely will be used in court. What you post here on the DIS. . . If they can prove it's you, it's discoverable and can be used in court.

The nurse who claimed she was too injured to work but posted photos of herself running on the beach. . . The guy who boasted about the money he spent on his girlfriend while telling his soon to be ex wife he was too poor to pay child support . . . The Disney castmenbers who vented about their jobs on the DIS and were disciplined and/or fired. . . The doctor who was sued for malpractice and blogged about the case. . .

Two years ago I had mass tort case in San Diego. One of the plaintiffs periodically posted about the case in her blog. Of course we all read her blog. Bet she wondered why her audience suddenly declined after the trial was over.

If you are a litigant and I ask you about your posts on FB please tell me if you shared your password with your husband. That goes to credibility.

 

[momof1princess]

I know there are some lawyers here and I am hoping someone can ease my mind a little bit. The wife is having an affair as we speak, the first time she slept with this person she checked herself into the Psych ward because the voices in her head told her to drive in front of a semi. While in the hospital she was diagnosed with schizophrenia, as far as I can tell she has been taking her meds. She was ok for a little while after coming home, in the last week she has resumed the physical part of the affair and has only come home three of the last six nights. I know that it is not that simple but am I going to get custody? What type of documentation do I need to prove the illness? Does the fact that she is not coming home to our kids help my case, if so what kind of records should I keep of that? The guy she is sleeping with is literally a satanist, we have raised our children in a christian home, can this play a role? We are in Ohio BTW. Thanks in advance.

OP, I'm a former legal secretary, and while that doesn't qualify me to give legal advice, I can tell you what I would do, in your situation. I would take pics of all prescriptions for spouse's mental illness, and copy any health records I may have documenting same, as well as all financial info. I would not let my kids out of my sight, no matter what. I would ask the attorney about an emergency custody order, based on spouse's mental health history, and fact that spouse currently is hearing voices telling spouse to do things that could be fatal. I would also file for supervised (by either a DHR caseworker or myself, NOT a relative of spouse, which is very common), limited visitation, to be set around my schedule, not at spouse's convenience. I would also include that said limited, supervised visitation continue until spouse can prove unequivocally that spouse is med compliant, and progressing well in treatment.
Now, where I live, an affair with a satanist would definitely be a consideration in a custody/divorce action, but ymmv. The main consideration is, of course, keeping your children safe, while your spouse gets help.
Your attorney will be able to subpoena health records, if it becomes necessary.
So sorry you're going through this. I've seen it many times, and it's always difficult.

 

[momof1princess]

OP, I'm a former legal secretary, and while that doesn't qualify me to give legal advice, I can tell you what I would do, in your situation. I would take pics of all prescriptions for spouse's mental illness, and copy any health records I may have documenting same, as well as all financial info. I would not let my kids out of my sight, no matter what. I would ask the attorney about an emergency custody order, based on spouse's mental health history, and fact that spouse currently is hearing voices telling spouse to do things that could be fatal. I would also file for supervised (by either a DHR caseworker or myself, NOT a relative of spouse, which is very common), limited visitation, to be set around my schedule, not at spouse's convenience. I would also include that said limited, supervised visitation continue until spouse can prove unequivocally that spouse is med compliant, and progressing well in treatment.
Now, where I live, an affair with a satanist would definitely be a consideration in a custody/divorce action, but ymmv. The main consideration is, of course, keeping your children safe, while your spouse gets help.
Your attorney will be able to subpoena health records, if it becomes necessary.
So sorry you're going through this. I've seen it many times, and it's always difficult.

ETA: now that I think about it some more, I would likely ask for an emergency order of protection, keeping spouse from having any contact with me or kids; because, if voices are telling spouse to do harm to spouse, they could also tell spouse to harm me or kids. Med compliance and treatment progress would be required for reconsideration and modification. Again, this is just what *I* would do, in your situation.

 

[GSUJillybean]

Lorelai Lee, I have a question-- I sat in on some law school classes for a project for my last job, and I heard a few professors state that when giving advice on the internet, you had to specifically state that you are not the recipient's attorney, and that what you're giving shouldn't be considered legal advice, or it could open you up to liability. Is this true, or something that gets tossed out as an abundance of caution type thing?

 

[JakeJenna]

I thank everyone for their input, it is greatly appreciated. I have an idea now of what I need. I am still facing the internal struggle of what I want to do with this situation. Through all this I still love my wife to death. Under normal circumstances I would be ready to fight tooth and nail, I cannot shake the feeling that she is not herself. I know I still need to protect the children while I make up my mind of what I want to do, I'm not really concerned about the money honestly. If she takes it so be it, as long as she does not sell anything I will get more money, after all its only money. Thanks again for all the advice. I will continue to document everything while it is fresh even if I do not decide to go through with the divorce at this point.

 

[RadioNate]

I thank everyone for their input, it is greatly appreciated. I have an idea now of what I need. I am still facing the internal struggle of what I want to do with this situation. Through all this I still love my wife to death. Under normal circumstances I would be ready to fight tooth and nail, I cannot shake the feeling that she is not herself. I know I still need to protect the children while I make up my mind of what I want to do, I'm not really concerned about the money honestly. If she takes it so be it, as long as she does not sell anything I will get more money, after all its only money. Thanks again for all the advice. I will continue to document everything while it is fresh even if I do not decide to go through with the divorce at this point.

As a divorced person with custody issues I see a lot of well intentioned advice that sounds great and not always realistic.

I completely agree that you need to protect your children. I would also urge you to document everything including finances. Protecting yourself and your children is important.

As for you and the divorce, there is no rush. My divorce was quick and a lot of huge decisions were made before we were both healed enough to make them. I think both my ex and I agree that it was all too fast. As long as the children are protected and she isn't able to bankrupt the family, you have time.

 

[luvsJack]

OK...I am assuming you are being truthful here and will offer some insight for you.

1) A Satanist is an atheist. They do NOT believe in Satan or God. So please change your accusations there and get a little education so you do not look foolish for starters.

The boyfriend here would be classified as someone who is into the "occult" or someone who worships the "devil".

2) Regarding the schizophrenia diagnosis...That is a tough one. My MIL had schizophrenia. Finding the right med and forcing her to take the med is a battle in itself.

3) Since she appears to be "off her meds" and probably in psychosis at the moment, I would recommend going to her psychiatrists appts. You have to be a party to her care in order for this to work. If she does not allow you to then I would ask the attorney to help you file for temporary custody of the children.

Psychosis is nothing to mess with and the protection of your children is primary.

She may get the right help and be able to manage her illness better but at the moment you have to take precautions.

I feel for you. Many hugs.

Totally confused here. Why would and atheist be called a satanist when they do not believe in satan?


Anyway, OP, many hugs. I, too, feel for you and your kids. Personally, at this point my main focus would be in doing what is ever best for your kids. If that means getting them far away from your wife, then so be it. And I do agree with the quoted pp, get temporary or physical custody.

When you talk to your lawyer he/she will tell you everything you need to get in order to gain custody.

I hope your wife gets the help she needs, but I know that it reaches a point when you cannot be the one to get the person that help. Only you know if you have reached that point. Please make sure your kids are put first and foremost in this.

 

[JakeJenna]

Had my consultation today, he said I will not need anything else the diagnosis guarantees full custody for me. He seemed a little off though so I may go see someone else as well.

 

[Peanut Giggleface]

Had my consultation today, he said I will not need anything else the diagnosis guarantees full custody for me. He seemed a little off though so I may go see someone else as well.

Glad to hear it.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

Had my consultation today, he said I will not need anything else the diagnosis guarantees full custody for me. He seemed a little off though so I may go see someone else as well.

That's great news, but I'd consult another attorney as well. I am always skeptical of a lawyer who "guarantees" a result.

 

[momof1princess]

Had my consultation today, he said I will not need anything else the diagnosis guarantees full custody for me. He seemed a little off though so I may go see someone else as well.

Trust your instincts, OP. Many attorneys offer a free, initial consultation, so don't settle for less than someone you're totally comfortable with.

 

[JakeJenna]

That's great news, but I'd consult another attorney as well. I am always skeptical of a lawyer who "guarantees" a result.

He did not exactly guarantee it, he did say that if her diagnoses was in fact what I said there was a 100% chance that I would get full custody. He was really dismissive of anything I had to say. He also kept calling DS1 a girl even though he was wearing all blue .

 

[TLuvsD]

I would interview another attorney. This might be a long range relationship, why start with someone that isn't a great fit?

Good luck to you and your family...it sounds like a very challenging situation.

 

[kellyg403]

OP, having gone through custody/divorce situation, I would also recommend seeing another attorney.

The diagnosis itself should not be a garuntee of losing custody of your children. There are hundreds/thousands of parents with a diagnosed mental illness that are able to parent. Because they take the illness seriously and take their medications to be stabilized. The part that will most likely assist you is your spouse is not taking her meds and not trying to stabilize herself.

Just my .02 cents as I am not a lawyer but what I understood going through the process. It is very very difficult to get full custody these days unless there is a real big reason, and not taking meds for a known mental illness could be one of them. But every state is different and I am sure that once you speak to another attny you will come away feeling more confident in the future. Shoot, there are parents who are required to take their children to the prison for visitation with another parent. So having full custody won't mean she doesn't get time. Shoot for at least time that is supervised.

Kelly