Did I miss something? It's now acceptable to have a baby shower for the second baby?

[mumom95]

I haven't read this whole thread, but just wanted to give a little story.

I had two showers before my ds was born. I had my dd 18 months later. I didin't have a shower for her, which was fine, I didn't need anything (got plenty of gifts from people, just no organized shower). I didn't really think much of it to be honest.

The only problem with this is I am a scrapbooker. I have pictures in my ds scrapbook from the shower, but obviously I don't have any in my dd's scrapbook from a shower because there wasn't one. And I have to say, once she got old enough to understand what the different pictures were about, it really hurt her feelings. She asked why there wasn't a shower for her and I explained because I had everything for a baby, but she said "but everyone was so happy about DS being born that they had a party, wasn't anyone happy about me being born". It totally broke my heart. How do you explain to a five year old that an etiquette rule someone set years and years ago is why we didn't have a "party" to celebrate her birth.

Since that happened, any close friends I have that are pregnant with #2, 3 or whatever, I throw them a shower, take lots of pictures and put a little scrapbook of it together for them (and for the future 5 year old, so they know "people were happy about them being born" as my daughter would say).

 

[LauraAnn630]

Everyones going to buy a gift anyways so why not have a meal together?

Thats how it goes with my family and friends.

I buy a gift for the shower then another small gift when I go to the hospital or house after the baby is born.

 

[bethie]

A second baby shower, especially just two years apart, is not the norm. I believe there are circumstances that warrent another shower, such as huge gaps between births, etc... What could she possibly need that she doesn't already have.

If is a different sex, then maybe a small co-ed shower for a few clothes would be fun.

 

[Blondiex46]

yep it is. It used to be if the nu baby was the other gender or twins or if there is alot of years b/t the children.

 

[majimikate]

Similar topic, but slightly different. My SIL is getting married in a couple of months, after living with her boyfrind, now fiancee,for 5 years. They just bought a half million dollar house that they are renovating (it's a 200 year old stone house) and my MIL had a shower for her. They registered for Calphalon pots, china etc. I have to say, they already have all of their household things and it just seemed that now that they are getting married they figure they should have better things...

I've been married for 15 years and I only have a couple of Calphalon pots!!! I guess I figured it was something you worked up to when you could afford them! (that must be why I only have 2!! )

I could not attend the shower, I guess I will send a gift but I have to say I find that to be a bit much...after 5 years, what could you not have that you really need????

 

[KELLY]

There will be 2 1/2 years between my daughter and are new addtion. I don't expect anyone to give me a shower again. But with them so close together there are somethings we are going to need again another convertible car seat ect. Instead of christmas gifts for myself and husband this year we are going to ask for gift cards to target and babies r us so we can get the things we will need. Maybe it's tacky but when people ask what we want I'm going to tell them. My daughter did get a new bedroom set but she seems to be addicted to her crib. I'm hoping I don't have to buy another crib but we might. I'm gong to get the same finsish so the new baby can have the Dresser and the Changing table we already purchased yes we purchased these expensive items are self. I didn't want some one to have to buy a big price item. But is the situation diffrent if there is a new marraige. My cousin got married this weekend for the second time so I'm sure she wil have another shower? She is a year younger than me so shed said she wanted more kids right away. Is there a right and wrong?

Kelly

 

[Feralpeg]

A second baby shower, especially just two years apart, is not the norm. I believe there are circumstances that warrent another shower, such as huge gaps between births, etc... What could she possibly need that she doesn't already have.

If is a different sex, then maybe a small co-ed shower for a few clothes would be fun.

To me, it isn't about what they need. It is about what I want to give them to celebrate their new arrival. For the first baby, you get a lot of practical things. For the second baby, I give fun things. I give clothes that are extra special or really cute toys. I love shopping for baby things and really enjoy attending baby showers. So, anybody having a baby shower...I'm available!!!

Seriously folks. You should never give out of a feeling of obligation. If you aren't giving from the heart, don't give at all. I give presents at baby showers because it makes me feel good.

 

[TravelinGal]

Having only read the first page...

I agree wholeheartedly with the OP! TACKY!
Especially only 2 years apart and the same gender!

I can see a small party for VERY close friends/family...maybe. But an official shower? Uggh.

I will say I have a bit more patience with it when the children are a significant age difference (5+ years) and a gender difference. But I still think it's tacky.

Personally, since it is so hard for us to conceive (took 10 years for DS!) and I'm since already 41, we have already passed on all of DS's infant things to other people. IF I were to get pregnant unexpectedly (we're not trying) we would have to start from scratch regardless of the new baby's gender. While I would be greatly appreciative of any gifts we did receive, I would feel uncomfortable with a formal shower.

 

[schmoopypoo]

To me, it isn't about what they need. It is about what I want to give them to celebrate their new arrival. For the first baby, you get a lot of practical things. For the second baby, I give fun things. I give clothes that are extra special or really cute toys. I love shopping for baby things and really enjoy attending baby showers. So, anybody having a baby shower...I'm available!!!

Seriously folks. You should never give out of a feeling of obligation. If you aren't giving from the heart, don't give at all. I give presents at baby showers because it makes me feel good.

Very well put! I would never want a shower just to get free things. It is a time for my family and friends to all be together and celebrate a new birth. I have a 5 y/o and I am getting married in 2 years (not to her father). So when we decide to have a child together, it will be his 1st so I am sure his side will want to throw a shower. I am in no way looking for it to happen, but if they decide to do it, then fine. They know I'm not going to look for one, so they would be doing it out of the goodness of their hearts.

 

[motofox4]

maybe it's just me, but i've never liked going to showers of any kind, whether it be for a wedding, baby, whatever. I just find them to be very boring and while it's nice for someone to get presents for whatever the occasion is, it is just not fun to sit and watch someone open tons of presents for 2 hours! a friend of the family recently had her second baby, the first one only being a little over a year old, and her family gave her a second baby shower. i don't think it was right to have another shower, but that's just MY opinion. she was having another boy and still had all of the necessities for a new baby so i don't think it was right for them to ask people to come to a shower and expect them to give more things for attending, but then again that's why i didn't go. it's up to "you" to determine what you feel is right or wrong and if you want to go then you go but if you don't want to go then you don't go. i'm getting married in 10 months and i've told my parents, my bridesmaids and my maid of honor (my sister) that i don't want a shower because i know how i feel about going to them and i don't expect anyone to want to come to mine and be bored to tears! again, that's just my opinion and feelings though.. everyone is entitled to their own feeling and what they want to do.