Delta keeps reworking the flights and now DD5 is sitting seperate!!

[Gracie'sMom]

There is a much greater chance that your child will be molested by a family member or close family friend than there is that she will be molested by a stranger on an airplane. Or any stranger, for that matter.

YUP....had that one covered in my graduate social work classes as well. Her daddy is a CSA survivor so we know this ALL TOO WELL. Doesn't mean you quit trying to protect though!

 

[Microcell]

I didnt mean to start a firestorm or anything, and personally would go aisle by aisle to ask a couple of people to move if I have to in order to sit with my child... someone on a plane of 200 people would be accomadating I would think. I am surprised at how many people are rude when they ask according to the responses on this thread. I was raised well and would never command someone move. You apparently have gotten some nervy people.

As far as getting my kid something they would be able to open strikes me as funny.. a kid with fine motor issues is gonna need thier mom no matter how easy a bag seems to open.. at 5 lots of kids are just not able to work thier fingers in such a way that they can open even seemingly easy items. My DS is 6 and still has to work really hard to snap his pants, and only zips them up 1/2 way. I make what accomidations I can to make things easier for him, but it never occured to me to get an easy to open bag for him in case he goes on a plane with a stranger!

Kids are actually people too and I could not possibly predict everything they will do, but if I have to be seperated on a flight from them I would go out of my way to explain possible pitfalls to the unfortunate stranger that gets next to them.

 

[bavaria]

If you are really that worried it may happen then I would suggest asking for another flight where you can sit together.

Your rights as a parent are no more important than my reasons for picking a certain seat.

you and I have posted for years here and on another frequent traveller site. Have we ever seen a parent report that they chose to take another flight because they could not get seats together? I haven't, but I HAVE chosen to deplane and take another flight, and I know at least one other poster who has done the same.

My friends, family, and colleagues are aware that I may sometimes choose to do this to meet my needs. I refuse to make my needs more important than someone else's needs. (ask my family about the number of times I have suddenly jumped off a moving train, or off a bus at a random bus stop, leaving them behind, or the times I have called home to say 'I won't be on that flight')

Microcell, please don't feel that we are focussing on your posts, but as you can see those of us who fly regularly have encountered some very difficult people who do seem to think that their needs supercede anyone else's needs.

It is not a competition, folks.

 

[lisadr]

Just remember

• you can and will be removed from a flight if you become disruptive on board or in the gate area (no 'you' as in the OP, but people who get upset here and threaten poor behaviour - we see it sometimes)
• there is nowhere to go on an airplane at 35,000 feet - fear of abduction isn't something to worry about

I am not trying to be confrontational in any way, but a child doesn't have to be abducted to be harmed.You have no idea who your child is being sat with. Call me overprotective but I would rather people think I am a nutty mom, then taking the chance of anything happening to my DD.

 

[bavaria]

I actually am very hyper-protective of my girlie so she absolutely will never be out of my sight unless she's with another family member. In today's world when a 13-year-old boy can't get off his school bus and walk home without being abducted, I make no apologies for being overprotective.

To be clear, this is the post to which I was responding with 'fear of abduction'. While I understand that people are very protective of their children, we see so much emotion around what is a very remote possibility - and by that I mean the possibility of being seated far away from one's child. That is rare if one behaves appropriately and asks politely for a seat change.

The reality is that if one behaves as some suggest here, and as many of us have experienced, the chances of moving seats is far less as other passengers and crew will be less likely and less willing to assist.

Ultimately, passengers can only control their own behaviour, but if they choose to bully other passengers or crew, or lose their temper, or become overly emotional, they should understand that they may not achieve the desired outcome. (And may in fact be removed from the aircraft)

 

[Bell30012]

My daughter will be six this year, and we always fly Delta (we do live in Atlanta). I've NEVER had any problem with the gate switching my child to the seat next to mine or vice versa.

 

[bavaria]

And that is what I am trying to say - the chances of not sitting with your child is very slim, if you take the time to follow crashbb's list of what to do. If you choose to follow my list of what not to do, your chances increase as you will alienate airport staff and other passengers.

We do however see posters here who say that they don't want to arrive at the airport early, can't be bothered to take time out of their vacation to check in online at the 24 hour mark, don't want to pay for a seat assignment, don't want to sit in the last rows, don't want a family of four split into two groups of 1 adult/1 child, yet fully expect other passengers to be inconvenienced. It is difficult to muster sympathy for those posters after they have been given good advice and still choose not to heed it.

 

[maxiesmom]

No need to play the airsick card, you have the best weapon in the world, the five year old card! Just say to the person next to her if you get a "no".. "Well if you would be so kind, she cannot unzip her backpack so if she wants a snack or drink from it could you open the pack, and she has trouble with wrappers, but the fruitsnacks will work better for her if she gets upset than the granola will, but she is used to the 10:00 AM granola snack, right at 10. I already told her that we couldn't bring her normal milk, so she should be ok with the water but will need a reminder that the milk would have spoiled when she asks why she cant have her normal milk. She is really excited that we are flying directly over grandma's house, so if she asks when you are over grandma's you can really point over anywhere around Tenessee really, I mean she is five, what will she know? Oh and she may cry a little if the pressure gets to be too much so remind her to chew the gum as we descend, and be firm on this, tell her she can't spit it out because we will be buckled and no one she is related to will be there to take a spit out of gum in thier hand.. though I suppose if you want to offer her a magazine corner or kleenex, wait, here is a kleenex..." They should be willing to to change before the wrappers comment if they are smart!

Wow, do you really expect you would get a positive response from that sort of comment? I have often flyed solo, and I don't mind helping out small children, but I would not act as a babysitter either. If your child is so needy, and you expected me to care for them, you better be offering cash. And I'm only kind of kidding. You way of approaching things is rather passive-aggressive, don't you think?

 

[disneywith4boys]

Why in the world would a solo traveller EVER not be willing to trade their seat so a child could sit with a parent?

 

[Lewisc]

It would be extremely rare for a 5 year old not to wind up being seated next to one parent.

Many passengers use noise cancelling headphones. They have no interest in "dealing" with your child if he/she needs something and will do their best to ignore the child. You can't have it both ways, a passenger takes too much of an interest in "dealing with a needy child" and some posters are concerned the child is being molested.

Obviously passengers would assist the child in putting on an oxygen mask, putting the tray table back but that's about it.

SW passengers should make sure they get an A or B BP. Passengers of other airlines should get to the gate early enough to have a seat assigned by the GA.

Tell me you child may throw up and I might find a FA and suggest your child is too ill to fly.

I posted right after you, about what you are saying parents shouldn't expect.. but as I illustrated, sometimes you get a kid that is needy and isn't afraid to ask for help, and I don't see a way for a person to get out of helping a small child if they are next to them. If I got seperated from my kid, I might give the person some hints for dealing with my child in the event they need something because I would figure they would want to know the easiest way to deal with it. I wouldn't be expecting a babysitter, but might point out that for instance my DS asks about each and every bump or wing adjustment. I figure someone would want a standard line to placate my kid so they don't have to deal with upset kid.

 

[Lewisc]

Why in the world would a solo traveller EVER not be willing to trade their seat so a child could sit with a parent?

How old is the child? What seat am I giving up? What kind of seat am I getting?

I'm not sure I'd trade an aisle seat for a middle seat, so a 12 year old child can sit next to a parent. Children old enough to ride a school bus can sit a few rows away from a parent.

Someone will switch for a 5 year old but maybe not for a 7-10 year old.

 

[bavaria]

Because we have needs too. To expect me to give up my bulkhead aisle in Economy Plus and trade it with a middle seat in the back of Economy Minus isn't going to work for me. Often I paid extra for the flight because the seat that I needed was available on the more expensive flight.

Travellers and posters should not need to explain themselves or their physical situations here or on board an aircraft. Having a child does not trump all other situations. Again, I choose not to fly sometimes; I have yet to hear a parent here or elsewhere say that they voluntarily got off an aircraft because their needs were not met.

 

[safetymom]

Why in the world would a solo traveller EVER not be willing to trade their seat so a child could sit with a parent?

I can answer that. There are reasons why I picked the seat I did. If you ask me on the plane there is no need for me to justify why I don't want to move.

As bavaria has mentioned as well as others if you are offering the same type of seat I might move. But if you are asking me to take a middle seat for my aisle seat it isn't going to happen.

If people would only ask nicely I might consider moving but the parents usually demand I move.

 

[maxiesmom]

Why in the world would a solo traveller EVER not be willing to trade their seat so a child could sit with a parent?

I am clausterphobic, so I always choose an aisle seat. Even when I have to pay extra for it. Trust me, you would not want to be the person I was sitting next to if I had a middle or window seat. Plus I have bad knees, so I sit on the aisle so I can stretch out my legs as often as possible.

I know I don't need to explain myself, but I'm hoping that others will see this and realize that some people do have reasons for sitting where they sit, and just switching seats is not an option. If someone refuses to swith seats with you it is probably not to be mean. They may have a good reason, and not feel they have to explain themselves to a total stranger.

 

[DebbieB]

I have switched when it is a comparable seat, sometimes I have offered first (for example, I could see that one family member was a couple rows up). But as I posted earlier, don't be demanding or play games, that will make me stand my ground.

 

[goofy4tink]

.......As to fear of molestation, I think that again it is a very remote possiblity.......

........AND I think that the media would be publishing reports if this did indeed happen with any frequency......

QUOTE]

I make no bones that I am a hyper-protective parent but a comment like this is a bit silly.....even ONE incident is TOO frequent regardless of whose child it is. My child is my LIFE and my job as a parent is to protect her to the best of my ability regardless of how remote any potential harm to her may be.

Yes, there is always a 'chance' of something bad happening if a child is seated apart from his/her parent. Does it happen? I guess it has, but not very often. And yes, I'm sure that once was more than enough for that child or the parent. I am not trying to play that down.
I put my then 7 y/o ds on a plane in Boston, to be met in Florida by my then 22 y/o brother. That was back in 1980. Would I do that again? Not on your life. To this day, I am still not sure what I was thinking!!

Why in the world would a solo traveller EVER not be willing to trade their seat so a child could sit with a parent?

It depends. You've gotten most of the reasons already. Let me relate a story...it's been told before so I apologize to those who have read it many times.
I was flying to WDW, on SW, with my dd, then about 12 or so. We got to the airport nice and early. Had checked in and gotten A boarding passes...back when you had to line up in each group corral. We took out spots in line, about 8 people back from the front of the line...then waited for about an hour or so to board. We watched this one mom walking around with her young son...back and forth, up and down the gate area. We finally boarded. My dd and I got our usual middle and window seats. Well, all the preboards had boarded....by the time we boarded, we had to head to behind the wing..many preboards had started saving seats (neither here nor there anymore). The A's all get on, then the B's start. Now, it's towards the end of the B's and people are having trouble finding rows of seats open so their entire family can be seated in close proximity. So, they start splitting up. Then the C's board. Okay...everyone is seated, the flight is very full...there are a few emtpy seats scattered around the plane..none together or even close. We figure we are going to pull back, but no....the aforementioned mom and her ds come running up the jetway....and of course, there are no seats together. Now...remember..this is a flight to Orlando. Most of the travelers are families, heading off to a fun time in the parks. The FA makes the dread announcement...I need some people to move their seats in order for this mother to be seated with her child. Not one person moved. Okay, the FA has another announcement for us...'This plane is not moving away from the gate until this mother and child are seated together!" It took another 5 mins before a nice couple said they would take seats apart from each other so the mother could be seated with her child.
Now...my issue is this...why didn't that mother preboard with the other families? Why didn't she checkin online in order to get an A boarding pass? Why in heaven's name did she remain in the gate area, walking around while others boarded? I'm sure she figured she would be able to get seats together.

I book SW when it doesn't matter a ton where I'm seated. But, I checkin early, so I know that my child and I will be together. I book the legacy airlines and get to choose my seats when booking. But...I know full well that those seating assignments can, and do, change. I keep checking my itineraries, right up until that flight leaves!!!
Most of us book what we need....it may not be apparent to others why we have chosen the seat(s) we have chosen. I resent it like crazy when someone comes along and tells me I'm selfish for not offering to change seats.
I have a 35 y/o ds, a 32 y/o dd and an almost 15 y/o dd.....I was much more lax when the two eldest were young. Now...I'm a suspicious, cranky mother who probably overprotects her child. But, if I choose to book our seats together, then that's how it's gonna be. I am NOT moving so that someone who didn't do their homework can sit with their child.
Now....to the OP, yes, sometimes stuff happens that the traveler isn't able to foresee...as in your case. You did what you are supposed to do...the airlines messed up. They will, in all probability, make good for you. I'm pretty sure you and your youngsters will be able to be seated together...just get to the gate early.