Delta keeps reworking the flights and now DD5 is sitting seperate!!

[Gracie'sMom]

A suggestion for the future.

When you book online the computer does not really think. It does not know you are five, it does not really even know you are related.

You can however, call and have reservations "linked" So after you pay call and ask to have your five year old assoicated with one adult. That seems to work based on what I read on flyertalk.com

The Atlanta CS did finally link us when I talked with her last week. Now that I know it can be done I will ALWAYS do that portion as well! Thanks for the input! I simply don't travel enough to be savy on these things! Good thing there's website like this to help me out!

 

[Gracie'sMom]

crashbb gave excellent advice; here is my 'what not to do' list

• don't throw a fit in the gate area and start shouting at the GA or other passengers. Yes, I had a woman do that because when asked to change seats, I immediately said 'yes', realized within seconds that the new seat would put my arm/shoulder which was in a cast and sling on the aisle, and changed my mind. She began to berate me, screaming and stamping her feet, and needless to say, nobody would switch with her after that!
• don't board and just take someone else's seat, assuming that they will move. It's one thing to stand by the seat, not blocking the aisle, waiting to ask someone to move; quite another to take the seat, unpack your carry ons, fasten your seatbelt, unpack your lunch, and then when the owner arrives, say 'oh, I'm settled here now, take my seat'
• don't go up to the passenger in the desired seat and yell 'MOVE'. That will ensure that most people will not move
• don't panic and get yourself worked up in advance, or you may lose control of your emotions. Yes, 5 year olds are considered old enough to fly unaccompanied on flights, and yes that does mean that you MAY end up away from your child. But your chances are better if you stay calm, polite, and pleasant
• don't be ungrateful when someone does move; offer to buy them a drink. I have been offered a drink many times and have made the same offer myself; I never took the person up on it, and nobody has taken me up on my offer, but it is polite to offer a token. At a minimum a heart felt 'thank you' is appropriate, but I often see it overlooked
• don't offer up your last row middle seat for an aisle seat in the elite zone. It's not a good bargaining chip. Use your 'best' seat as the bagaining chip, not your 'worst' seat
• don't bully other passengers by threatening them with your child's bad behaviour, vomit, or other fluids

Sadly I have had many people behave this way on many flights, and it only serves to make me more inclined to board early and turn on my iPod and tune out.

I have also moved several times, when asked pleasantly.

OMG!! I could never act like that even if I was on drugs!! LOL, I'm a social worker and don't have a mean bone in my body when it comes to confrontation!! It's beyond me how some people get through life acting like that!! LOL, then again.....I am in social work so I've seen a lot!! My "momma bear" act, if needed, is likely to be mild compared to all that! I'd likely just take a layover before causing a row!

Thanks for the wise words and may you never have to cross pathes with anyone as crazy as you mentioned again!

** Sorry about the large font but I can't seem to get it reduced!

 

[bavaria]

Just remember

• you can and will be removed from a flight if you become disruptive on board or in the gate area (no 'you' as in the OP, but people who get upset here and threaten poor behaviour - we see it sometimes)
• there is nowhere to go on an airplane at 35,000 feet - fear of abduction isn't something to worry about

 

[kaytieeldr]

yet the airlines seem to get by with allowing very young children to be separated from their parents on flights.

Airlines accept children as young as five as unaccompanied minors. If they were going to create a policy to prevent children on the same plane as a parent or adult guardian, they could not pick and choose - they would have to require ALL children of X age or below to be accompanied by a parent or other legally responsible (for that child) adult.

Just play the my child gets airsick card if you need to.

This is not the way to deal with the problem.

Completely agree. It's amazing, the number of young air passengers with a tendency to get airsick ONLY if seated away from the parent

 

[Vijoge]

Airlines accept children as young as five as unaccompanied minors. If they were going to create a policy to prevent children on the same plane as a parent or adult guardian, they could not pick and choose - they would have to require ALL children of X age or below to be accompanied by a parent or other legally responsible (for that child) adult.

Completely agree. It's amazing, the number of young air passengers with a tendency to get airsick ONLY if seated away from the parent

Well, they can park the airsick kid next to me if they want to. I've been a nurse for 25 years and I've been puked on, pooped on, bled on, you name it. Won't bother me a bit but I'm not cleaning up the vomit or the child if anyone decides to threaten me with that tactic.

 

[DebbieB]

Completely agree. It's amazing, the number of young air passengers with a tendency to get airsick ONLY if seated away from the parent

Or sometimes even with the parent there. I had a situation a couple years ago. I had my window seat, where I liked to sit at the time. A woman comes on last minute with a baby and a little girl. The baby was a lap child. I had seen them at the gate earlier, so it wasn't like they were late coming off a connection. They sat next to me. The woman starts with "let me feel your head, I think you are getting a fever" to the little girl (who was in the middle seat), then "are you getting a rash?", then "let's plan what songs we are going to sing". After the first comment, I started looking around to see if there was an empty window or aisle seat. All I could see were middle seats. I tried to get the FA attention. When she made the second comment, I started getting suspicious. After the third comment, I put my Ipod on and closed my eyes. She wanted me to move so that she could have all 3 seats! No way. I was going to try to help her until she started that. Luckily the little girl fell asleep until landing.

 

[lilyv]

Kids have ears. It would really irritate me if a parent decided to play the airsick "card" within earshot of their young traveler. Frankly, I'll always assume it's a tactic if I hear it. I traveled the world over with my two kids from the time they were babies. You don't plant the possibility of airsickness into a child's head. If they do have the problem, come prepared, but don't talk about it as you're getting situation on a plane.

Some of this thread is interesting to me because when I fly solo, for some reason I'm rather frequently placed next to unaccompanied minors. I am glad when I can sink into my book, but sometimes they are truly afraid and dealing with quite a bit of stress. Others really just want to talk. I don't mind visiting with them, playing a game of go fish, or reading a book to them at those times. A positive attitude goes a long way with children flying unaccompanied, and I think it also helps with when kids are flying with their parents.

 

[Tinker*Shell*Bell]

I just last week had this same situation with changing flights and my family of 6 split up all over the plane (including a 2yo and an 8yo.) We arrived 3 hrs early at the airport and when we checked in I asked the agent if there was any way to seat at least the 2 younger children with one of the 2 parents.
"No problem" she said and printed all my boarding passes...when I looked at them she had placed all 6 of us in the very front row. 3 on the left and 3 on the right. It was a great upgrade to bulkhead seats for all of us. YEAH! Thanks Jet Blue!!!

 

[bavaria]

lilyv is nicer than me. Let it be known.

Seriously, though, I once had a UM age 5 parked next to me on a 7 hour flight, with orders from the FA to 'keep her busy'. I was in severe pain from an accident, and politely advised that I would not be in any position to look after a child, as I could barely take care of myself that flight. The FA was quite put out. (The child in fact read to herself and slept most of the flight- while I was in pain and wishing that I could do the same) But parents should not expect that other passengers will be willing and able to babysit their children, either as a UM or a child seated apart from parents.

I did vomit on a flight once as a child - a looooong flight back in the days when we didn't bring on carry ons (remember those days - we only got to bring a book, a blanket, and the tiny bag the airline provided; too small for toys and changes of clothes for kids) But we sat on the tarmac at Munich airport in the heat for hours during the 1972 Olympics (I will let the reader understand why). To this day the smell of vomit brings me back to that day and I can see the yellow dress I was wearing.

 

[Microcell]

Just remember

• you can and will be removed from a flight if you become disruptive on board or in the gate area (no 'you' as in the OP, but people who get upset here and threaten poor behaviour - we see it sometimes)
• there is nowhere to go on an airplane at 35,000 feet - fear of abduction isn't something to worry about

Fear of molestation is though!

I agree that you catch more flies with honey, and as I told the Girl Scouts when someone wouldn't buy cookies from us- be sure to smile and say "thank you anyway". THere have been instances where someone was asking to sit next to someone and was getting a no and I was sitting in a seat with no one next to me and I overheared and offered to move seats so mother and daughter could be together. People in general are nice to people who remain calm, I have faith in humanity and one way or another it will be worked out!

No need to play the airsick card, you have the best weapon in the world, the five year old card! Just say to the person next to her if you get a "no".. "Well if you would be so kind, she cannot unzip her backpack so if she wants a snack or drink from it could you open the pack, and she has trouble with wrappers, but the fruitsnacks will work better for her if she gets upset than the granola will, but she is used to the 10:00 AM granola snack, right at 10. I already told her that we couldn't bring her normal milk, so she should be ok with the water but will need a reminder that the milk would have spoiled when she asks why she cant have her normal milk. She is really excited that we are flying directly over grandma's house, so if she asks when you are over grandma's you can really point over anywhere around Tenessee really, I mean she is five, what will she know? Oh and she may cry a little if the pressure gets to be too much so remind her to chew the gum as we descend, and be firm on this, tell her she can't spit it out because we will be buckled and no one she is related to will be there to take a spit out of gum in thier hand.. though I suppose if you want to offer her a magazine corner or kleenex, wait, here is a kleenex..." They should be willing to to change before the wrappers comment if they are smart!

 

[Microcell]

lilyv is nicer than me. Let it be known.

Seriously, though, I once had a UM age 5 parked next to me on a 7 hour flight, with orders from the FA to 'keep her busy'. I was in severe pain from an accident, and politely advised that I would not be in any position to look after a child, as I could barely take care of myself that flight. The FA was quite put out. (The child in fact read to herself and slept most of the flight- while I was in pain and wishing that I could do the same) But parents should not expect that other passengers will be willing and able to babysit their children, either as a UM or a child seated apart from parents.

I did vomit on a flight once as a child - a looooong flight back in the days when we didn't bring on carry ons (remember those days - we only got to bring a book, a blanket, and the tiny bag the airline provided; too small for toys and changes of clothes for kids) But we sat on the tarmac at Munich airport in the heat for hours during the 1972 Olympics (I will let the reader understand why). To this day the smell of vomit brings me back to that day and I can see the yellow dress I was wearing.

I posted right after you, about what you are saying parents shouldn't expect.. but as I illustrated, sometimes you get a kid that is needy and isn't afraid to ask for help, and I don't see a way for a person to get out of helping a small child if they are next to them. If I got seperated from my kid, I might give the person some hints for dealing with my child in the event they need something because I would figure they would want to know the easiest way to deal with it. I wouldn't be expecting a babysitter, but might point out that for instance my DS asks about each and every bump or wing adjustment. I figure someone would want a standard line to placate my kid so they don't have to deal with upset kid.

 

[bavaria]

I will consider moving if asked nicely, but if someone starts the pressure tactics and threatening, my chances of moving are far far less. I have my own needs for seating, and it is not a case of who 'deserves' the seat more. I choose not to fly sometimes if I can't get my seat that meets my needs; how many parent choose not to fly if they can't be seated next to their child?

As to fear of molestation, I think that again it is a very remote possiblity. While I understand that parents have such fears, there was a poster who came here once and told us that she is beautiful and is 'molested' by male flyers every week or so (to paraphrase). Odd, as those of us who are apparently less good looking do not have the same experiences. AND I think that the media would be publishing reports if this did indeed happen with any frequency.

I agree that parents should be prepared, and prepare their children, for the remote chance that they will need to sit alone. But using any form of scare tactic, whether passive agressively bullying passengers, or using fear of molestation or abduction, isn't the best way to approach the situation.

 

[safetymom]

I so agree with you bavaria!!!!

I have yet to have an adult ask me nicely if I would move. It is more like a command. Sorry but no I will not be moving from my aisle seat up front to a middle seat in the back.

A few flight attendants have asked and I did move. Parents need to work on their technique for asking.

 

[CarolA]

SW is good.

The FAs get on the PA and offer bribes.
Free Drinks... and then they deliver fast. As soon as they start serving they race to the passenger who moved, take his/her order, race back, get drink, deliver and then start the rest of the cabin service!

 

[Andrea]

I have gotten up and moved before once. The second time no one asked and i really thought the guy next to the little girl was her father and it turned out not to be. I ended up more "babysitting" and I ended up asking where her mom was and I asked the mom to switch with me. I gave up my window seat for a middle, but I didn't care.

 

[kaytieeldr]

No need to play the airsick card, you have the best weapon in the world, the five year old card! Just say to the person next to her if you get a "no".. "Well if you would be so kind, she cannot unzip her backpack so if she wants a snack or drink from it could you open the pack, and she has trouble with wrappers, but the...

Similar to "the airsick card" - if your child cannot open and close the compartments of any piece of carry-on luggage they have with them, the parent should choose a carry-on the child CAN open.
Please don't attempt to use underhanded or coercive methods to get someone to change seats so you can sit with your young child. If rechecking seat availability online 24 hours in advance, getting to the airport three or more hours early to check in, trying to work with the Gate Agent, and trying to work with the Flight Attendants are all unsuccessful, ASK someone to change seats with you. As bavaria and crashbb have pointed out, try to offer an equal or better seat in exchange.

I've been asked twice, that I recall. The first time was on Southwest, I had preboarded, I was ensconced in my window seat, and a mother traveling with two teens asked me to move so the three of them could sit together. I refused (politely); I don't know how far into the boarding process the plane was, or what was available further back in the plane for them.

The second time, I was assigned to seat 1D on JetBlue. When I boarded, the passenger in 1C was on her feet, waiting for me. She asked if I would change with her so she could sit with her husband and son. I did. Mistake (but NOT her fault, and nothing we could have known in advance - the pax in 1B was up and moving around ALL NIGHT - doing exercises in the bulkhead, going into the aisle and back, going to the galley...)

 

[Gracie'sMom]

.......As to fear of molestation, I think that again it is a very remote possiblity.......

........AND I think that the media would be publishing reports if this did indeed happen with any frequency......

QUOTE]

I make no bones that I am a hyper-protective parent but a comment like this is a bit silly.....even ONE incident is TOO frequent regardless of whose child it is. My child is my LIFE and my job as a parent is to protect her to the best of my ability regardless of how remote any potential harm to her may be.

 

[safetymom]

I think you are overreacting to bavaria's comment. Yes the possibility is remote. As parents we do what we can to protect our children, but I don't stop myself or my kids from traveling because something remote may happen.

If you are really that worried it may happen then I would suggest asking for another flight where you can sit together.

Your rights as a parent are no more important than my reasons for picking a certain seat.

 

[Vijoge]

.......As to fear of molestation, I think that again it is a very remote possiblity.......

........AND I think that the media would be publishing reports if this did indeed happen with any frequency......

QUOTE]

I make no bones that I am a hyper-protective parent but a comment like this is a bit silly.....even ONE incident is TOO frequent regardless of whose child it is. My child is my LIFE and my job as a parent is to protect her to the best of my ability regardless of how remote any potential harm to her may be.

I think you are overreacting to bavaria's comment. Yes the possibility is remote. As parents we do what we can to protect our children, but I don't stop myself or my kids from traveling because something remote may happen.

If you are really that worried it may happen then I would suggest asking for another flight where you can sit together.

Your rights as a parent are no more important than my reasons for picking a certain seat.

There is a much greater chance that your child will be molested by a family member or close family friend than there is that she will be molested by a stranger on an airplane. Or any stranger, for that matter.

 

[Gracie'sMom]

I think you are overreacting to bavaria's comment. Yes the possibility is remote. As parents we do what we can to protect our children, but I don't stop myself or my kids from traveling because something remote may happen.

If you are really that worried it may happen then I would suggest asking for another flight where you can sit together.

Your rights as a parent are no more important than my reasons for picking a certain seat.

And if you read my previous entries you can see that I am realistic. I am neither a pushy person or a rude person to others. I have already stated that if one of the 4 adults (plus 2 teens) traveling in the party is not with the 5-year-old that I would opt for a later flight. That's where I will exercise my right to control the situation if the Delta employees can not fix the problem.

Not every parent out there is rude and demanding while doing what they feel is best for their child. Maybe that puts me in the minority, dunno.

The comment was silly and I called it as such. You or anyone else can chose to agree or not. This whole thread has taken on a life of it's own for people to debate their own issue with this or that when I simply wanted to have some sort of idea what to expect.

After all the feedback I think I have it covered!!