Delighted yet Disappointed

[sweetbrat]

We got back from our "Dream Maker" trip. The accomodations were nice and all the little extra touches they don't volunteer, but y'all told me about made the trip extra precious. The Disneyland trip itself was a blessing. I genuinely appreciate Disney paying to bring all of us to Southern California and to the park for a few days. My kids absolutely loved it.

But the Dream Maker party was such a "let down" after the build up we heard about it. I won't complain to Disney, as I do appreciate that they brought us there, but I wish they would not have called it a "party" and then told us things like "when Disney throws a party, you have never been and will never be to another one like it. They go all out!"

The Dream Maker party was actually just having the park open after hours for the approximately 1000 people. There were no balloons, no being dreamed, no food, nothing like that. It was simply having the rides open. I was so embarassed because I told my kids not to eat much before going to the party, because of all I had been told about Disney parties. My little ones were crying because they were sure a party meant Mickey Mouse would have a cake for everybody and they kept looking for balloons. They did give us a button upon arrival, but that was it for the "party" part of it. They annouced the winners when we were not present and when we got over there, nobody knew the names or anything about the winners of the contest.

Then to top it off, my hubby would not permit the little kids and us to go to California Adventure. He said it was not for little kids, so only our teens went over there. My hubby made us stay at Disneyland, even though I did explain to him about all the cool stuff for the little kids to do. I did not want to fight, I just wanted peace, so I figure there will be another time for the other park. I just felt like three days and not once going to CA was a bummer!

So while we had a wonderful time overall, there was a few letdowns between the "party" and my hubby. All my kids had a wonderful time. I am so grateful for all the input. We could not have made it there if we had not ordered groceries from Vons and then all the wonderful input on how to do the park with my son with autism. You guys are such a sweet blessing! Thank you!!!

 

[bonita_babe232]

Well i'm glad you guys had a rather good time! I try to not expect to much to happen on a trip because you really know what will go diffrent once your actually there! But i agree you think with them stating a party it would have cake or music or something.... But it was probley nice to be able to wonder around with not many people there! And thats one reason i'm iffy about taking my hubby to disneyland once hes able.... i know hes gonna do exactly the same do this do that, it has to be done like this blh blh blh.... its just part of being a guy even though they know you know more, they think they need to lead right guys

 

[december]

Just another reason I leave dh at home-I've done 2 trips to WDW and in 10 days I'll be in DL. Not allowing me to do something is not an option. Sorry op-but that isn't behavior I could tolerate. My kids are as excited about meeting Flik and Atta as anything else, since they aren't in WDW but have a whole land in DCA. And none of us princesses can wait to eat with Ariel in DCA.

 

[pixiewings71]

I'm glad you had fun! Sorry you were disappointed with the "party" aspect of it though. I'm also sorry your DH wouldn't let you go to DCA, that really sucks. I would have said "fine, you stay here" and went anyway, fight or not, no one tells me what I can and can't do. LOL You guys definitely missed out not going, CA is tons of fun, we love it over there. Oh well, that just gives you a reason to plan another trip. I know money is tight for you and hope you guys can make it back soon.

 

[dalepool]

OH WOW, I am actually surprised that DL did not have so sort of treats, like cookies and drinks, like they do at Disneyworld for the christmas Party where the park stays open later and you must buy special tickets to attend. . I am so very glad you had a nice trip. You must take your husband to DCA --once he has experienced what that park has to offer he will probably say "Dang--- and to think we missed this last trip."

 

[brenda1966]

I'm surprised they didn't have any special decorations. As for food, WDW doesn't have any cookies or treats at their halloween party, although to do hand out candy. I did go to a private party at WDW (for a work convention) and they did have free food and beer! Surprised me because I made sure to eat dinner prior so that I wouldn't starve.

As for DH, well, I guess that's why I'm not married because no one, and I repeat, no one would tell me I couldn't go somewhere. I just don't understand the logic behind it and it makes me feel sad to even read that you were denied and your kids were denied based on his unreasonable demands.

 

[Jenn1116]

I second Brenda... There's no way I'd miss DCA because someone told me I couldn't go.

 

[prettyprincessbelle]

I second Brenda... There's no way I'd miss DCA because someone told me I couldn't go.

It would make me want to go even more just because someone told me not to..

 

[sweetbrat]

I am laughing at the comments about the situation with my hubby. If you knew my NATURE, I would like to have very much went against him on this. However, my hubby and I have been separated before because of his intense ways (of course all the time we were friends and dating he was always considerate and sweet, never intense or selfish...LOL). Our reconciliation is based on me being a peacemaker, because it grieves our children so much when we are either separated or fighting.

Fortunately, our little ones did not realize they were missing out on anything. The teens and young adult children did all go to both parks and enjoyed them very much. I did tell my hubby last night that NEXT time we go, we are going to DCA too!!! That I gave in to his way this last time, but next time we are going to try DCA as well. I reminded him that our children do like some of the characters at the other park and we need to just give it a quick visit and see if it has something to offer them as well. He seemed good with it and gave me a kiss.

If my hubby gets angry he ruins everybody's time. So for the sake of my children, it was not worth going against my hubby's wishes.

However, I truly understand why there were so many wives/moms there with no hubbies or children...LOL! It was not a vacation for me for one moment. I was constantly cleaning up children or making sandwiches, etc while everybody else reclined on the beds in the hotel and watched TV. Yet I truly enjoyed watching the faces of my little ones light up at the MAGIC of DL!

I have to tell you, that I for one do not look forward to my husband retiring! It will just mean MORE work for me! LOL!

 

[rosiep]

I am laughing at the comments about the situation with my hubby. If you knew my NATURE, I would like to have very much went against him on this. However, my hubby and I have been separated before because of his intense ways (of course all the time we were friends and dating he was always considerate and sweet, never intense or selfish...LOL). Our reconciliation is based on me being a peacemaker, because it grieves our children so much when we are either separated or fighting.

Fortunately, our little ones did not realize they were missing out on anything. The teens and young adult children did all go to both parks and enjoyed them very much. I did tell my hubby last night that NEXT time we go, we are going to DCA too!!! That I gave in to his way this last time, but next time we are going to try DCA as well. I reminded him that our children do like some of the characters at the other park and we need to just give it a quick visit and see if it has something to offer them as well. He seemed good with it and gave me a kiss.

If my hubby gets angry he ruins everybody's time. So for the sake of my children, it was not worth going against my hubby's wishes.

However, I truly understand why there were so many wives/moms there with no hubbies or children...LOL! It was not a vacation for me for one moment. I was constantly cleaning up children or making sandwiches, etc while everybody else reclined on the beds in the hotel and watched TV. Yet I truly enjoyed watching the faces of my little ones light up at the MAGIC of DL!

I have to tell you, that I for one do not look forward to my husband retiring! It will just mean MORE work for me! LOL!

If you'll forgive me for saying so... your husband sounds abusive.
This is not in the best interest of your children. Please don't be afraid to ask for help.

(I grew up in an abusive household and it was a nightmare....)

 

[cruise cruise cruise]

I would be dissapointed with the "party" also. I would have had the same expectations for a "party" as you. But at least it sounds like you must have had a pretty good run of the park and no lines-- that would be fabulous in my book

 

[brenda1966]

If you'll forgive me for saying so... your husband sounds abusive.
This is not in the best interest of your children. Please don't be afraid to ask for help.

(I grew up in an abusive household and it was a nightmare....)

If you are afraid to make hubby angry, then I would agree with the above statement.

You're not doing yourself or anyone else any favors by tolerating his behavior. I'd kick him to the curb.

 

[twinspluscade]

I'm sorry the party was such a disappointment!! I had read all your posts on here about it, and knew you guys were so excited for it. I'm so surprised that they didn't have anything special for it. Did they have any "rare" characters out for it, like they do for the WDW special-ticketed parties?

And as for you guys not getting to go to DCA--WOW, you are a nicer wife than me! My husband would rue the day he ever "told" me I couldn't do anything, especially if our kids were involved. Maybe someday you guys can go back, and leave hubby at home or in the hotel room. I think it's horrible he wouldn't at least let you take the kids there, even if he didn't want to go.

 

[MPHARJ]

I am having a hard time keeping my mouth shut on this one. I was in an abusive relationship with my first husband. I am very sorry to get off track of this thread, however, one of the steps for your reconciliation was for you to be a peacemaker??? He seems like the one that needs to make some changes. I know it is hard on children to see their parents seperated, however it is even worse on them when they see the way one of their parents is being treated and think that is ok and than they themselves end up in a similar relationship. I have been in your shoes where some one told me what to do when to do it and where, never again. Please just be careful and don't forget to take care of yourself too, and remember your children see and know more than you think.

 

[bumbershoot]

...but I wish they would not have called it a "party" and then told us things like "when Disney throws a party, you have never been and will never be to another one like it. They go all out!"

Then to top it off, my hubby would not permit the little kids and us to go to California Adventure. He said it was not for little kids, so only our teens went over there. My hubby made us stay at Disneyland, even though I did explain to him about all the cool stuff for the little kids to do. I did not want to fight, I just wanted peace, so I figure there will be another time for the other park. I just felt like three days and not once going to CA was a bummer!

I am so sorry the "party" wasn't a party!

I'm also so sorry your hubby had that attitude. Just for fun, you could let him see my trip reports with pictures from DCA. DCA is a blast for little kids, especially bug's land...lotsa pictures of that in my Sept and Dec '07 trip reports. Maybe it'll make him feel a bit guilty.

I am laughing at the comments about the situation with my hubby. If you knew my NATURE, I would like to have very much went against him on this. However, my hubby and I have been separated before because of his intense ways (of course all the time we were friends and dating he was always considerate and sweet, never intense or selfish...LOL). Our reconciliation is based on me being a peacemaker, because it grieves our children so much when we are either separated or fighting.

If my hubby gets angry he ruins everybody's time. So for the sake of my children, it was not worth going against my hubby's wishes.

If you're not happy, if you're worried about making him mad, sweetie, it's not worth it.

When my mom finally kicked out my dad (their divorce was when I was 4 and brother was 2) I was very angry with her, and was vocal about it. But she was looking out for us, and I'm very grateful.

My dad married about 6 years later, and although I love my stepmom, they should have divorced LONG ago. My half-sibs are 25, 23, and 13 years old, and they are miserable. They live in fear of angering my dad, my dad can make a trip miserable in a heartbeat. They go to Disneyland too, sometimes, and I'm quite sure that my dad has laid down the law like that at some point, just for the heck of it. When my mom and dad were first married, they lived in San Francisco, and were at a party with musicians (in the later 60s). Someone got a phone call that indicated that Paul MacCartney was on his way! When my dad heard, he saw how excited my mom was, and he made her leave. Refused to stay.

The night my mom died, when I called to let him know, he cried about that night, saying that that was the night their marriage changed forever, when he changed and ruined it all. I'm glad for me and my brother that she stuck around for a few more years (otherwise we wouldn't exist), but for HER sake she should have left the next morning.

My husband had parents who refused to divorce, and their lives were much like my half-sibs. FIL just died at the end of '06, and they've found out SO much of what a jerk he was, even more of a jerk than they thought he was. They routinely begged their mom to leave, once they got old enough to see what he was doing to her and them.


Please, as much as I am against divorce for no reason, you really need to talk to hubby about getting some SERIOUS counseling (not couples, just solo for him, until he works through his issues...only then should you go in to work on the duo).... and if he refuses, you might want to think about protecting yourself and your kids from such a dictatorial situation.

 

[jemilah]

OHhhhhhhhh i am worried too, my sis just got out af a bad relationship too and a good dad and hubby would want to expreience it all like a family. That was just plain mean. You and the kids deserve better, if he is like that on a dream vacation I would hate to see how it is at home with the pressure of everyday life. Seriously if you need help we are here for you!

 

[rosiep]

I just wanted to post again and ask the OP to check back in with us. I know that sometimes having people point out what you may desperately want to ignore can be very upsetting. Emotional abuse often turns to physical abuse...

We won't judge, we just want you to know that you can talk and we'll listen.

There are hundreds of women who have stories like the ones people have opened up about and shared. You are not alone.

 

[Lou-Ann]

When a family cannot feel happy to enjoy a FREE trip to Disney, there may be a problem. Dr Phil says we teach people how to treat us. It would appear if he pouts and puts his foot down you have to honor him.... RUN do not walk to counseling immediately. We care for you and this man has a problem.

 

[sweetbrat]

Okay, when I said I am laughing, it is because BOY can I relate to what y'all are saying. I can get sooooooo frustrated with him.

First, let me put your minds at ease and tell you I will NOT stand for abuse.

My hubby is very difficult. But I know his past and I understand his issues. I cannot change him, that is for him to do. I am not excusing him, but I can understand how his past shaped him and now he slowly is reshaping. He has been a very faithful provider for our family and he has some wonderful strengths which I try to focus on.

We have been separated twice because of his issues. Each time, he has changed some and held to those changes. He is not easy to love, but I choose to love him anyhow, as long as he respects the boundaries.

He now controls his temper around us. He knows if he feels rage he does not have our permission to express it in front of us. He has come to understand that we refuse to live in fear of him, that we need to feel he is our protector. He has held to those things now for which I am very grateful.

When I say I did not want to deal with his anger, it is more the sulking type. It is the type that would hold onto this for months and let it skew his views on everything. That is not right I know. However, that will take time to change. And I have seen changes in him, so I just hold onto hope that he will continue to change with time.

I did not want him to stay in the hotel room, as that would have upset our children. It is much better to stay at Disneyland as a "happy whole family" than go where I want with an angry hubby in the hotel room, upset kids who don't understand why daddy is angry, etc.

That is what I mean by peacemaker. If I can learn to lay down my rights in places that don't really matter for the sake of the kids, then he is much better about hearing me out on things that really do matter. Trust me, I speak up when I think something is wrong morally, etc. I don't fear his anger when I think a show on TV is wrong for our kids to see, etc. He can go to his room and sulk then! I will protect my children morally, emotionally, and physically.

My older boys do not treat women like my hubby does. They know his attitudes are wrong. Our teenage daughters have learned why you need to KNOW a person a long, long time before you date them, just to make sure how they deal with real life. They have learned from me what is right. I refuse to allow his past to color their future. Anytime it has been a problem, we have separated for 18 months - 2 years at a shot. While the kids were bummed with the separation, they understood that I had to take a stand for what is right.

I genuinely thank you for the concern though. Many women do put up with abuse and don't know how to get out of it. My hubby is not being abusive verbally or physically to any of us. Emotionally we are all doing fine, we just choose our battles with him wisely. Being a peacemaker is what moms are natural at anyhow, I just have to extend that to my hubby and it is worth the peace in our home (most of the time, except when I choose to battle for a cause I feel is too important to give up).

Hugs to all of you for expressing such sweet concern! You have blessed my heart!!!

 

[Lou-Ann]

I am sooooooooooo glad you wrote back. We are kind of "family " here and kind of protective of each other. Glad to hear things are improving for you. Hope it is not terribly long before you get to go again and see the whole thing.