DD dressing phobia princess

Discussion in 'Disney for Families' started by Deesknee, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. Alesia

    Alesia DIS Veteran

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    Good lord! You didn't say that they were pint-sized Heathers! That's a horse of a different color...
     
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  3. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    ? What is a "Heather". What am I missing? Remember I am...mature....21 year old kids... What's a heather?
     
  4. Alesia

    Alesia DIS Veteran

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  5. nchulka

    nchulka <font color=purple>it was funny when the creepy gu

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    :rotfl2:
     
  6. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    Thanks. :sad2: When my older dd was about 9 it was "Queen Bees and Wanna Bees", the book "Mean Girls" was based on. I remember reading it and trying to figure out which of her classmates were the Queen Bees. hahaha. Looking back, I wasn't too far off. :lmao:


    Thanks again to everyone! DD was out of school yesterday. (honestly sick), but is back today. No mention of the incident at all until we pull up to the school. Then she casually says, "I'm just going to tell "so & so" that I don't want to be popular if it means I have to change. Then, I'll just go to the back of the line". (they line up to file into the school). Little drama's of school years.

    I do want to mention something a friend of mine said when I told her what had happened. Very simply she said, "do you think that is how the pregnancy pact started"? For anyone who isn't familiar. A few years ago in a town in MA there were several girls who all got pregnant in HS. It was said that these girls had agreed to get pregnant together while in HS. And made a pact to the effect. Very sad. A movie , it may have been made for tv movie, was made based on this event. And when it happened I remember thinking back to the mid 80's when several girls in my DSIL's group all seemed to get pregnant within a very short time frame. We live in a small town, so a teen pregnancy at that time wasn't the norm. But, when my friend mentioned this..... wow! Sort of makes me wonder. What else kids do to "be popular". Scary!
     
  7. Queen2PrincessG

    Queen2PrincessG DIS Veteran

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    Let me prefeiceint with :I'm RUDE! and I am who I am and don't care what people think.

    If my daughter came home and told me this story I would tell her to flip all the popular kids off and wear what she wants. What makes a 1st grader popular? really? I mean come on. If they hit their peak that early it's going to be a long 15 years for some of them.

    She should wear what makes her happy simply because it's easier to please one person: yourself.
     
  8. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    :rotfl: I wouldn't tell her to flip them off, but I wanted to. You are so right, it is a lot easier to please one person, especially if it is yourself!
     
  9. Pesky

    Pesky "Who's the monkey?!"

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    Ugh, I dread the day. I've been reading lots of books like Queen Bees and Little Girls Can Be Mean. I agree with pps -- 2 buckets here. One, it is normal to try and dress to blend in with the crowd. I get that. But the level you are talking about goes beyond that. It begs the question of is she truly their "friend" or more like their lap dog? If I am ordering someone around, telling them how to dress and basically trying to exert complete control over someone, I am no friend. I am a power broker trying to make a conquest. So maybe the question back is "hey, thanks for the advice but I want to do something different and like my hair down, etc. If you are a true friend, you will want me to be me and not try to be controlling." The other thing is that while I can get her not wanting to confess to liking to play with barbies or liking princesses with her friends, it's okay to do that at home. Like the princesses. So she admires these women who evince qualities like kindness, intelligence, caring, trust, bravery. Plus they get the wonderful life of a princess. Ummmmm, what is wrong with that? Hopefully she can start to see how this is working and make her own way.
     
  10. ktlm

    ktlm DIS Veteran

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    You're just lucky it didn't hit until 4th grade. My first grader was told by a couple of girls in her class (and some boys) that Disney Princesses were for babies and she shouldn't like them anymore. Luckily, my first grader has a strong personality and told those girls that she can like whatever she wants. It still bothered her though even though she thinks they are wrong and isn't going to let them dictate what she likes or wears or carries as a backback or lunch box. Of course the main girl that told her that is the one that when I went to the class Halloween party was dressed as an NBA cheerleader, in tight gold lame booty shorts, an extremely tight shirt, high heeled white boots, and heavy make-up. I just about choked when I saw her. I think it is what I refer to as "older sister syndrome". Let's just say that while she is beautiful and may be a perfectly nice girl, I'm not sorry they aren't close friends. I don't want DD to grow up too fast, which appears to be that kid's track. Sounds like she is gearing up to be the type of girl that you are dealing with wanting to control your daugther.

    As far as Justice clothes, I think they have lots of things that would be age appropriate for a 7 year old. A ton of the kindergarten and first grade girls show up in Justice at DD's school pretty much every day and they look really cute. I think that store is mostly for the 5-10 crowd. Some of it is a matter of how you put the stuff together- i.e. the short skirts are made to have leggings underneath. If DD was asking for Justice clothes, I definitely think we would find stuff there that would work. Unfortunately for my pocketbook, she has some sensitivity issues with clothes; and extremely sensitive skin (can get rashy from certain materials, seams etc); and is a Hannah Andersson addict, who doesn't care that she isn't dressed like the other girls (we don't have an HA store where we live so you don't see that much of it in her school)

    OP- Good for your DD! Sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders. I am amazed by the "girl drama" that goes on even starting in 1st grade. As a parent when things are said to your kid (which they inevitably will be by someone) it hurts. The big thing on our playground right now appears to be kids telling other kids they don't want to play with them at recess. It just makes me sad. DD has come home complaining that people she was playing with told other people that they couldn't play too and they didn't want to play with them. DD came home yesterday telling me that 2 of her best friends at school told her they were sorry but they couldn't play with her at recess yesterday even though they wanted to because they had already started playing a game with another girl and that girl told them she didn't want to play with DD when DD came over to join in. I think it really hurt DD's feelings since it was 2 of her best friends from her class this year who she plays with almost every day at recess. It about broke my heart. Sounds like it is only going to get worse as it gets older.
     
  11. 4kids4karen

    4kids4karen DIS Veteran

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    No, I don't think that is how the pregnancy pact started. As a former teen mom, I actually find the statement ridiculous.
     
  12. 4kids4karen

    4kids4karen DIS Veteran

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  13. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    I wasn't part of the pregnancy pact, nor do I personally know anyone who was, so I don't know how it was started. I was referring to pack mentality. I was married at 19. I have people in my life I love very much that became pregnant as teens. I did not mean to offend anyone. But if someone does something that would affect their lives as drastically as becoming a parent does, just to be included in a pact? I'm sorry, my opinion is THAT is ridiculous.
     
  14. powellrj

    powellrj DIS Veteran

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    actually the pregnancy pact was an urban legend.

    http://www.alternet.org/story/89693/high_school_"pregnancy_pact"_an_urban_legend

    My DD now 16 came home from school in 1st grade and told me she no longer wanted to wear cute clothes to school, she wanted to look cool, so I no longer bought her the matchy, match clothes I use to buy her and started buying her the cooler clothes like jeans and tee shirts the other girls at school were wearing. Its not about the other kids being a bully as much as our kids wanting to fit in. When my oldest DS who is 30 was in grade school, he wanted to light-up shoes like the other kids were wearing at the time because that was what was popular.

    Heck, I am in my mid 50's and I remember when the girls at school told me only babies wore ankle socks and I needed to tell my mom to buy me knee socks! This is nothing new, its just the styles that are different.
     
  15. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    I don't know if there was an actual pact or not. But, there were a lot of girls within the same group that got pregnant in a small time frame. That is why they began to question it. It was on the news constantly when they were "investigating" it. Honestly, I never felt it needed to be nightly news, and I didn't think a movie was a smart idea, hence why I never watched it. I don't think anyone other than the girls will ever know if it there was any type of pact. I do know we are all affected by peer pressure in one respect or another. Advertising being one of the largest culprits.
     
  16. Queen2PrincessG

    Queen2PrincessG DIS Veteran

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    I'd like these little popular girls to say being/ or wearing princess items is for babies to Kate Middleon, you know a princess.
     
  17. Leajess99

    Leajess99 DIS Veteran

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    I am sorry your DD has to deal with this. My 4th grader had it in 2nd grade but even now she will wear her Disney stuff (to include Princess seatshirts) to school as she does not think it is babyish nor does she feel the need to be popular . It is amazing how cruel some kids ca be. Of course there are some adults than can affect a child's choice on clothing as well.

    Last year my daughter's teacher made a comment about her dressmaking her look like a Hippie. She had on the long Brown skirt from Gymboree with a horse shirt. My daughter would not wear that shirt to school again. That made me mad but I let it go for my daughter.
     
  18. Leajess99

    Leajess99 DIS Veteran

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    :hug: I'm sorry your DD is going through being teased. Have you tried talking to the school?? Please understand that girl scouts in not necessarily the answer. I know there are some girl scouts I don't want my child around as what they learn and how they behave are not appropriate. And I am not bashing girl scouts but there are some troops that I just don't feel fall in the girl scouts idea but there is not as much monitoring.
     
  19. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    :goodvibes

    This is very sad. Teachers should know better. Maybe she meant it as a compliment.:confused3 :rotfl:
    DD had a tutor that was trying to explain the difference between fiction and nonfiction and decided to use the Disney characters as an example of fiction! I WAS NOT happy!

    I won't talk to the school about this. This is a small concern. We've dealt with real bullying that we had to go to the school about when my son was in middle school. DD is fine now. She told the girl yesterday, that she didn't want to be popular if it meant she had to change. The girl simply said.... okay. Hopefully, it won't become an issue later. DD wore her Perry the Platerpus shirt today. Also, I agree about scouts. My 9 year old is in a great troop, but when my older DD was in scouts, we actually withdrew her from 1 troop and put her in another. It was actually Daisies, the younger kids. We walked in one day to pick her up & the girls were standing on round tables jumping from one to another while the 2 troop leaders were standing by talking about the previous nights.... adventures. Not the conversation I wanted my little girl to be hearing. Not every troop is a good fit for every child. We just said the day or time wasn't good for us. She ended up in an okay troop. The one youngest is in is wonderful troop. If done properly, it is a wonderful organization. You could always volunteer and be the troop leader yourself. :confused3 DH was my boys scout leader for a few years. It is a nice memory. Although, I have to admit, DH was very happy when the boys didn't want to be boy scouts anymore. It was very time consuming and DH didn't have the tolerance for some of the boys behavior. Actually, more like he didn't have the tolerance for some of the parents allowing the boys behavior with t he explanation, that "boys will be boys". :(
     
  20. mjkacmom

    mjkacmom DIS Veteran

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    Yeah, because Kate Middleton dresses in poofy sparklie dresses and carries a wand... I would like my girls to emulate her - Disney princesses, no thank you!
     
  21. mjkacmom

    mjkacmom DIS Veteran

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    DD had a tutor that was trying to explain the difference between fiction and nonfiction and decided to use the Disney characters as an example of fiction! I WAS NOT happy!

    :([/QUOTE]

    Um, but they are fictional characters? :confused3 Hate to break it to you, but Fairy Tales are fake. I think most elementary school students get that. Same with Spongebob.
     

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