My two sons have Autism. We have been on the Dream twice. My kids love it, for the most part, but we had to make a LOT of concessions about what activities we would do (namely, none) and how we spent our time (mainly, on the pool deck).
First off, they watched a LOT of DCL You Tube videos, but ONLY the ones specific to the Dream. If they see something on the video, it better be the SAME when they get on the ship, so I made sure they didn't watch Magic, Wonder, or Fantasy videos. They liked the cabin tour the best.
My boys are both swimmers, and they could not get enough of the Aquaduck, pools, Mickey Slide, Nemo's reef, and spa. They would have spent all day in there if they could.
We also used Peltor earmuffs for our younger DS during the muster drill. Necessity.
Pirates party and fireworks: Worked for one son, the other son would have NOTHING to do with it. So, DH stayed with older son, and me and younger son retreated to the room.
Having a verandah or LARGE porthole window room is essential for us. The kids really would zone out staring at the ocean. It was a good therapeutic "wind down" for them.
Walking out on deck was something our older son LOVED and our younger son HATED. The wind bothered the little one and he couldn't tolerate being on deck when the ship was moving.
We watched some movies in the theater, but needed to have earplugs due to the loud volume.
One of our sons liked to be dropped off at the kid's club, but he would only stay for maximum 1 hour before he wanted to be picked up. Younger DS would not go without DH or I (so we took him during open house).
Since communication is a problem for our older son, when we dropped him off at the kid's club, we put a little handwritten note in his pants pocket. It said "I'm ready to leave now, can you please call my mom and dad?" When he wanted to go, he would simply hand the note to one of the CMs in the club, and thus he didn't have to worry about starting up a dialogue in a loud chaotic environment. Worked wonderfully!
However, the cell phone system if NOT very reliable. On both of our cruises, we experienced situations where the kid's club staff had called our wave phones, and we NEVER got the messages. The first time, it was drama, drama, drama. Younger DS was melting down BADLY and we had no idea. That is the reason why younger DS won't let us drop him off anymore. So, lesson learned: check on the kids every 20-30 min. Just walk by the club and make sure you don't hear your child screaming his head off.
In general, on our first cruise, we spent a LOT of time in our room, watching movies on the On Demand system and letting our sons play their gameboy/ipod touch. Whenever we take a vacation to somewhere "new", there is a lot of time at the hotel, or in this case, in the cabin. One of our sons liked to explore the ship and look at the art. The other just watned to get from point A to point B as efficiently as possible.
I will say, our first cruise was only about 50% full. It was at the tail end of August and it was very nice. Second cruise, close to 100% FULL. HUGE difference in crowds. In particular the buffet was intolerable to our older son. Meltdown city. It was rough, but we made it through. Next time, I will just have the kids sit with DH while I run up and get their food, because the huge amount of choices and the people just milling all around the food areas were very stressful for our kids.
We only saw ONE show, Believe. The kids tolerated it because we made them, but they kept asking when it would be over. Just not that into stage productions. For the rest of the cruise, and our subsequent one, DH and I switched off going to the shows at night.
We did have our own table, both times. I simply made the request when I booked the cruise on the phone and mentioned it was due to Autism, and our kids would NOT make dining pleasant for strangers and we didn't want to ruin anyone's dinner. We were accommodated both times, even on a very full ship. If you aren't accommodated with a private table, the Maitre'D can usually switch things around to do so. They won't require any documentation, but you really should tell them it's due to Autism and not just your personal preference.
We basically didn't do ANY of the activities in the navigator until our second cruise. DH and I did a martini tasting and attended a quiz in one of the bars. BUT, we could only do that because my MIL came on the cruise.
Lesson learned there? Bring another adult with you! Like a grandparent or aunt/uncle. That way, you and your husband can do some things together too.