Creative ideas for family get togethers on the cheap

[rnorwo1]

Hi Everyone,
We have extended family (4 generations) who we only get together with around Christmas time. There are two of us in the sandwich/Gen X generation who take turns hosting each year, and it is so much work to get our houses ready, plan menus, etc., even with everyone bringing a dish. I thought that we could all go to a restaurant and get a banquet room and everyone order off the menu; however the other cousin who hosts pointed out that a few of the young parents would really struggle to pay for their families. (One set of young parents have minimum wage jobs and 4 kids, for ex.) I am getting some quotes from some restaurants to see if we could just order trays and the older two generations just split the cost, but I don't want to spend many hundreds either. We are from Louisiana where food is a huge part of our culture, and I'm completely stumped on what we could do together that would be very inexpensive yet still allow for us to mingle and talk. While I would be fine with a park that would allow kids to run around, for example, the generation older than us would absolutely not be!

Would love any ideas at all, thanks!

 

[Jimsig]

On my wife's side we used to rotate the family Christmas party between 3 different houses and until it finally got out of hand with not being able to fit everyone comfortably in the houses. For the past 3 years or so we have rented an Elks Hall on a Sunday afternoon the first couple weeks in December. They have a bartender for us, not sure if that's included in the price or if that's an extra. We do a combination of ordering trays and bringing our own stuff. Trays for stuff like chic broc ziti, chix parm, and salads and homemade charcutier boards, apps, and deserts etc.

After the first year it was a hit and everyone commented at how much easier it was and that we were all in one room and not spread out in different rooms in the houses. The smaller kids had a good size area to play and that was a big help. There was no having to get your house clean and clean up at the venue was minimal as we used plastic plates, plastic silver, and table cloths etc.

 

[Southernmiss]

Hi Everyone,
We have extended family (4 generations) who we only get together with around Christmas time. There are two of us in the sandwich/Gen X generation who take turns hosting each year, and it is so much work to get our houses ready, plan menus, etc., even with everyone bringing a dish. I thought that we could all go to a restaurant and get a banquet room and everyone order off the menu; however the other cousin who hosts pointed out that a few of the young parents would really struggle to pay for their families. (One set of young parents have minimum wage jobs and 4 kids, for ex.) I am getting some quotes from some restaurants to see if we could just order trays and the older two generations just split the cost, but I don't want to spend many hundreds either. We are from Louisiana where food is a huge part of our culture, and I'm completely stumped on what we could do together that would be very inexpensive yet still allow for us to mingle and talk. While I would be fine with a park that would allow kids to run around, for example, the generation older than us would absolutely not be!

Would love any ideas at all, thanks!

Where have you been gathering?

Is there a way some could be inside and some outside in the yard? I live in Mississippi, so I know the weather can be hot or cold in December, and often nice enough to be outside.

We had a deck built on our house with one main purpose of family gatherings at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not saying to build a deck, but be creative in how you gather.

On my husband's side, one aunt cleared out her garage and set tables for big family meals. Another aunt, built a 'party' room/ storage space, etc. behind the house.

Does anyone have a business with space like a warehouse that you could gather in or a covered carport? Anyone active in their church? Could they rent the church hall for a day?

Are there any of the generation above you who have a big enough space to gather at their house, yard, shop, especially since they'd be the ones to complain about gathering in a park.

I completely understand the culture and it revolving around food and family. It's one of our best qualities!

A couple of turkeys, some dressing, chicken, sausage, or seafood gumbo or red beans and rice can go a long way to feed a crowd. Idahoan instant potatoes are delicious and can be doctored up to feed a crowd for mashed potatoes. Potato salad (for the gumbo) isn't too costly, especially with sales on 10# bags of potatoes Sweet potatoes will be in season, a sack isn't too much. Green bean casserole is a staple here and not too expensive to make or ask someone to bring.

I think I'd make a menu now, let everyone know the menu and ask who can bring what.

Good luck! It's good you're planning early!

 

[rnorwo1]

Thanks for the replies! We have been doing the parties between two houses; we have enough room because people are milling in and out of all the rooms. We each have attached garages that are heated/cooled, so we have those open to the house and have tables set up for food and such there. So, space is not the issue. It's all the cleaning and prep beforehand and after. The food is a pain, too, but everyone does bring something to help, so it really is the other stuff. For ex, one of my space cadet kids fell through our ceiling a few weeks ago when he was in the attic; my husband neatly bandaged it, but it still needs to have a sheetrock repair/paint (which would require the entire room to be repainted), so there are also "little" things like that that we always have to repair or refinish before I really want people over. I could go to therapy and get over my perfectionism, but that would cost money, too And the other hosting-cousin is the same way, and we are just both tired of the pressure! I'll look into renting a space, but it's a balance between our stress and finances!

 

[barkley]

so is this like a full scale deal with dishes/glassware/table cloths/cloth napkins? do people bring stuff with the expectation of preparing or cooking it there? how many people are we talking about? what kind of menus have you done in the past?

 

[QueenIsabella]

I like the idea of renting from an Elks club or firehouse or similar. These places generally have the space, table, kitchen facilities that you could use. Some even have a back pavilion with more table and some grassy space. You wouldn't have to eat outside, but you could set up cornhole or bocce or even touch football, depending on the ages and agility of the guests.

If food preparation is an issue, you could consider ordering food trays, or even getting whole turkeys (cooked) or hams from a grocery store. Several places here serve "turkey and all the trimmings" packages--if you just wanted the main protein, you could probably do that. That way, you could still have Aunt Midge's sweet potato casserole and Aunt Doris's pies, or whatever is a "must" for your family.

Have the poorer families bring easy stuff, like rolls or soda or plastic utensils.

 

[barkley]

If food preparation is an issue, you could consider ordering food trays, or even getting whole turkeys (cooked) or hams from a grocery store. Several places here serve "turkey and all the trimmings" packages--if you just wanted the main protein, you could probably do that. That way, you could still have Aunt Midge's sweet potato casserole and Aunt Doris's pies, or whatever is a "must" for your family.

see now if given the choice of what to prepare and bring to get-together i would be more than willing to do turkey, including multiples b/c i find them to be the easiest thing ever "just set it and forget it" when we used to host big thanksgivings i would do 2 20'ish pounders-one the day before, one the day of. i know some people are the same with pies-if they are going to do 2 they are more than willing to do 10. perhaps survey the attendees and see if the 'wealth' of chores can be spread around-

people sign up to do set up (if tables/chairs/kids area has to be made)

people sign up to do clean up (if paper plates and such are used it should be minimal with exception of folding tables/stacking chairs if those are used, tell everyone that foods brought have to be in disposable containers or they WILL be sent home uncleaned)

put some of the most labor intensive cooking on someone who is not hosting, offer to pay for the ingredients if that's an issue...


honestly the elks (or other) club or any facility is not going to let you rent and leave the place uncleaned absent payment for their staff to do so. most of those types of places around us (1) require a connection-membership association-to rent the facility, and (2) require you do set up (or pay for them to do so) and clean up (which includes cleaning any and all kitchen workspaces, bagging garbage...all the stuff you have to do at home and not pay for). not sure if it's the same these days but in the past they would'nt let people use their actual kitchens without at least oversight by their (paid) staff b/c of liability.

 

[LoveDaisy]

I agree with renting an Elks type place if it’s an option. We just did this for a friends 50th. They supplied the tables and chairs. We assigned one person paper goods, others food items. We ordered a few trays and a fancy birthday cake. I went to Costco and got to go container and people took most of the leftovers. We used disposable table cloths and just wheeled the garbage can around, grabbed the tablecloth and tossed everything. Cleanup was a breeze!

 

[TheSouthernBelle]

If it's me, I'd just have it be a potluck and everyone bring dishes to share. Some venues will allow you to bring in your own food/drinks but of course, you'd have to do some research. We have a few local halls that do $50 rentals so if you could find a place like that, that's probably the most cost effective option, as opposed to a restaurant.

Do a signup genius so you can ensure that the whole family isn't brining chips and salsa and call it done. Someone does drinks, someone does disposable dinner ware, etc. And if you've hosted at homes before with zero cost, throwing this new restaurant cost into the mix for the others may not be well received. I'd feel bad if we switched it up on people and the holiday event ended up costing $$ especially at Christmas time when it's already a financially burdened time of year for people. Even those that may not be struggling still set their Xmas budgets months in advance and may not take this well.

 

[rnorwo1]

I'll definitely look into renting a place. While all of it is a pain, the biggest issue for me right now is a few projects I want to do around our house first (like fix the adolescent-sized hole in the ceiling!), and we are just swamped with other things right now and I don't want that added pressure to get the house ready. This feels like it's early, but with our limited time, we will be really pressured fitting it in.

It is usually just casual party fare with a few party trays or a couple of main dishes (I made pulled pork, delta cole slaw, etc. last year for the main, but I try to do something different each year) and then people bring appetizers, dips, sweets, etc. I of course go all extra and set up hot chocolate bars, lots of decorations, etc. It's just a lot of work. I thought a restaurant would be no work, but then it'll definitely cost some of us a lot more if we have to pay for the younger families. The age-old balance between time and money!

 

[CGB]

Another vote for renting a local place. My husband's uncle rented the local Eagles Hall (of which he was a member) every Christmas Eve for probably 20 years. His entire family and my mother-in-law's family would all show up for dinner and visiting. Families were expected to bring a dish (side or main), a dessert, and a paper product (plates, cups, forks, etc.) Two of the uncle's daughters would go together and bring a main meat... some of the best years was when they bought a ton of fried chicken from Wal-Mart. We had coolers full of gallons of sweet tea or lemonade (and beer coolers further in the back.) Honestly, the best table was the desserts! We had such a great time baking new cakes, pies, cheesecakes, etc. to impress each other. The kids ran laps around the room (which was great before going home and putting them to bed on Christmas Eve) and the adults kicked back and visited.

I hope you're able to find a place.

 

[clh2]

Our village hall has a community room that can be rented $85. It is more for non-residents.

It comes with tables, chairs, a fridge and a stove, plus a great area for serving. It is clean when you get their; and doesn’t take long to clean rapt the end of the functions, as everyone can help clean up!

I do feel your pain. I have one sister who has never hosted a holiday function. EVER. (She and her husband have been married 35 (or more) years. i feel that I have done my fair share of hosting the last 5 years. No one wants to help, not with food, wine, or clean-up. And…then I get my elderly parents overnight too.

 

[rnorwo1]

Our village hall has a community room that can be rented $85. It is more for non-residents.

It comes with tables, chairs, a fridge and a stove, plus a great area for serving. It is clean when you get their; and doesn’t take long to clean rapt the end of the functions, as everyone can help clean up!

I do feel your pain. I have one sister who has never hosted a holiday function. EVER. (She and her husband have been married 35 (or more) years. i feel that I have done my fair share of hosting the last 5 years. No one wants to help, not with food, wine, or clean-up. And…then I get my elderly parents overnight too.

Yep, we have several who have never hosted. They always have excuses about their houses not being big enough, or they're working on something.... and this is my issue that I need my house to be "perfect" before having people over. I could just say "Forget it," and have everyone over as it is, but each year we get into a frenzy of doing projects that have been on our to-do list for a while, and just the infrequent cleaning things like light fixtures and stuff. Ugh!

 

[FQLover]

Well it seems that you could do a couple of things. You could ask some family members to come over and help you clean and repair (especially those people who never host) or you could make an announcement that having hosted for many years, this coming holiday season is going to be your last (giving them a head's up).

You could then suggest that it might be time to rent out a hall so that no single family has the burden of prepping, cleaning, etc. any more.

 

[TwoMisfits]

Don't do dinner anymore. Start a new tradition that is just "smaller" in scope for the meal.

Whether that's tea time, dessert, or breakfast, any of those would be a smaller, and way less expensive footprint for a meal (particularly since heavy proteins and alcohol don't need to be present).

Either that, or go for providing only the singular main course and your house, and let everyone else bring everything else. If it's not there, it's not there, and folks will live. I've hosted many group international lunch potlucks where I brought the plate of "International sandwiches" (which always has a kid option from the USA - PBJ or sunflower butter and J, depending on what allergies I know will be there) and then everything else is what people bring, and it always turns out well. As long as the main can work for almost everyone, you'll be set.

 

[FigmentFans]

Don't do dinner anymore. Start a new tradition that is just "smaller" in scope for the meal.

Whether that's tea time, dessert, or breakfast, any of those would be a smaller, and way less expensive footprint for a meal (particularly since heavy proteins and alcohol don't need to be present).

Either that, or go for providing only the singular main course and your house, and let everyone else bring everything else. If it's not there, it's not there, and folks will live. I've hosted many group international lunch potlucks where I brought the plate of "International sandwiches" (which always has a kid option from the USA - PBJ or sunflower butter and J, depending on what allergies I know will be there) and then everything else is what people bring, and it always turns out well. As long as the main can work for almost everyone, you'll be set

We did a smaller scale for Thanksgiving a few years back. We set up a side table, and everyone brought appetizer type dishes (like stuffed mushrooms, cheese&pepperoni, deviled eggs, veggies and dip, etc). I did a small turkey breast and stuffing muffins the day before (put stuffing in muffin tins to make easy portions and everyone gets a crunchy top). I bought gravy from a deli. We also put the desserts out along with the 'apps' so we didn't have to put stuff out twice. Everyone just grazed from the table, there was plenty to eat, and my kitchen did not get destroyed. It was nice because we spent less time running around with food prep and more time socializing. You could also do this easily at a rented hall.

 

[MrsPete]

Hi Everyone,
We have extended family (4 generations) who we only get together with around Christmas time. There are two of us in the sandwich/Gen X generation who take turns hosting each year, and it is so much work to get our houses ready, plan menus, etc., even with everyone bringing a dish. I thought that we could all go to a restaurant and get a banquet room and everyone order off the menu; however the other cousin who hosts pointed out that a few of the young parents would really struggle to pay for their families. (One set of young parents have minimum wage jobs and 4 kids, for ex.) I am getting some quotes from some restaurants to see if we could just order trays and the older two generations just split the cost, but I don't want to spend many hundreds either. We are from Louisiana where food is a huge part of our culture, and I'm completely stumped on what we could do together that would be very inexpensive yet still allow for us to mingle and talk. While I would be fine with a park that would allow kids to run around, for example, the generation older than us would absolutely not be!

Would love any ideas at all, thanks!

Random thoughts:
- I don't particularly like the idea of a restaurant for a family get-together, especially if y'all don't see one another often. In a restaurant, you won't really get to "visit" with everyone at the other end of the table, and the kids'll get fussy.
- Could you rent a church hall? They tend to be very simple and inexpensive.
- What's the older generation's problem with a park? If they dislike a free /inexpensive park, are they willing to step up and host? If not, they can't complain about what you're offering.
- Do any parks in your area have enclosed buildings? Several of ours do, and they rent quite cheaply.
- I don't hear much fuss from you about preparing food -- it's mainly getting the house ready. Our family's rule is that whoever hosts doesn't have to provide any food. So getting the house ready is that person's ONLY task.
- A smaller scale meal -- maybe all appetizers or soup/sandwiches -- sounds acceptable to me.