Completely OT - Job change?

[myhoney]

I've been at my company for 15 years. For the last 10 years (since my first child was born), I have been part time, working 2 days per week. I love my job, my clients, and my bosses. However, they have been struggling with finding competent workers as the business has grown. They are teasing me about coming back full time, but it's not just "teasing". The plan was that I would go full time once the kids were in school. I ended up having 4 kids, and the baby is just 20 months. I know I have been very blessed with such an understanding workplace.

However, with 4 kids, I don't truly see myself going back full time. The cost of summer camp alone for 4 kids would kill us! When I add up all the breaks/days off, it's just under 1/3 of the full year's work days. And that's no snow days or sick days. We use my MIL to watch the two little kids now, but all 4 kids is too much for her. Even the 2 little ones are getting to be a lot. I would love to work from home, or get something at school so that I could be on the same schedule as the kids.

Today, in the span of 1 hour, my bosses again asked about me increasing my hours, and then when I picked up my eldest from an after school club, I was told there is a cafeteria position opening. School schedule, 1/2 days, 5 days a week. Massive pay cut. BUT...At my current job, I have been a great saver. I put away 20% of my income to the 401(k). So, in essence, my new take home would be just about the same as my current take home. Except I would stop my 401(k) contributions. Being in the financial industry, that's a tough call to make, but I also know my current 401(k) balance, and I'm ok with it. Like I said, I've been socking it away for a long time!

I could stay at my current job part time. I could put the kids in daycare and go back full time, and make lots of money. The current job could also be an eventual career move to partner. Or, since we've already given up big money for me to be home with the kids all these years, we could just go all in and say I'm a mom first and foremost. I've got a lot of years ahead of me to worry about school schedules!

I am torn. There are pros and cons to each. What things would you consider to help make the decision?

 

[lauradis]

I've been at my company for 15 years. For the last 10 years (since my first child was born), I have been part time, working 2 days per week. I love my job, my clients, and my bosses. However, they have been struggling with finding competent workers as the business has grown. They are teasing me about coming back full time, but it's not just "teasing". The plan was that I would go full time once the kids were in school. I ended up having 4 kids, and the baby is just 20 months. I know I have been very blessed with such an understanding workplace.

However, with 4 kids, I don't truly see myself going back full time. The cost of summer camp alone for 4 kids would kill us! When I add up all the breaks/days off, it's just under 1/3 of the full year's work days. And that's no snow days or sick days. We use my MIL to watch the two little kids now, but all 4 kids is too much for her. Even the 2 little ones are getting to be a lot. I would love to work from home, or get something at school so that I could be on the same schedule as the kids.

Today, in the span of 1 hour, my bosses again asked about me increasing my hours, and then when I picked up my eldest from an after school club, I was told there is a cafeteria position opening. School schedule, 1/2 days, 5 days a week. Massive pay cut. BUT...At my current job, I have been a great saver. I put away 20% of my income to the 401(k). So, in essence, my new take home would be just about the same as my current take home. Except I would stop my 401(k) contributions. Being in the financial industry, that's a tough call to make, but I also know my current 401(k) balance, and I'm ok with it. Like I said, I've been socking it away for a long time!

I could stay at my current job part time. I could put the kids in daycare and go back full time, and make lots of money. The current job could also be an eventual career move to partner. Or, since we've already given up big money for me to be home with the kids all these years, we could just go all in and say I'm a mom first and foremost. I've got a lot of years ahead of me to worry about school schedules!

I am torn. There are pros and cons to each. What things would you consider to help make the decision?

That's a hard one..I gave up a lot, a lot of $$$$$ for nine years of staying home.

Was it worth it? Yes and No. Some days I think it would have been better, just to tough it out, the balance of Mommy/ career woman.

Other days I know I made the right decision for my children. The real trap is Staying home derails your career for almost the rest of your life. If your husband leaves you or dies, its a real death poverty trap for a lot of woman.

After the kids where mostly gone (we have an oops baby lol dd11) I decided not to chase after my pre SAHM career and pick something I like to do. Let me tell you, my mid 20's self would have laughed me out of the room, for what I'm doing now. But I have something that is more flexable, more mentally relaxing and heck of a lot of less money.

The best advise I can give you is if you every want to do what your doing now after the kids, you have to stay in the game now or start all over again.

 

[kymom99]

I am a teacher and there are lots of women who quit to raise their kids and later decide to come back. They get discouraged when they realize their retirement age is WAY later than those of us who stayed in it. I am able to retire at 50 while some will be much older. As said in another post, some have come back because husbands lost their jobs or they got divorced. That makes it even harder to accept.

I know you want what is best for your kids and you are giving it to them now, but your career is something you worked for too. Don't throw in the towel too quickly, especially if your employer is allowing you to do things your way. That is very hard to find.

And....school cafeterias can be tough places to work. Our people come in way earlier than the rest of us.

 

[morgan98]

I've been at my company for 15 years. For the last 10 years (since my first child was born), I have been part time, working 2 days per week. I love my job, my clients, and my bosses. However, they have been struggling with finding competent workers as the business has grown. They are teasing me about coming back full time, but it's not just "teasing". The plan was that I would go full time once the kids were in school. I ended up having 4 kids, and the baby is just 20 months. I know I have been very blessed with such an understanding workplace.

However, with 4 kids, I don't truly see myself going back full time. The cost of summer camp alone for 4 kids would kill us! When I add up all the breaks/days off, it's just under 1/3 of the full year's work days. And that's no snow days or sick days. We use my MIL to watch the two little kids now, but all 4 kids is too much for her. Even the 2 little ones are getting to be a lot. I would love to work from home, or get something at school so that I could be on the same schedule as the kids.

Today, in the span of 1 hour, my bosses again asked about me increasing my hours, and then when I picked up my eldest from an after school club, I was told there is a cafeteria position opening. School schedule, 1/2 days, 5 days a week. Massive pay cut. BUT...At my current job, I have been a great saver. I put away 20% of my income to the 401(k). So, in essence, my new take home would be just about the same as my current take home. Except I would stop my 401(k) contributions. Being in the financial industry, that's a tough call to make, but I also know my current 401(k) balance, and I'm ok with it. Like I said, I've been socking it away for a long time!

I could stay at my current job part time. I could put the kids in daycare and go back full time, and make lots of money. The current job could also be an eventual career move to partner. Or, since we've already given up big money for me to be home with the kids all these years, we could just go all in and say I'm a mom first and foremost. I've got a lot of years ahead of me to worry about school schedules!

I am torn. There are pros and cons to each. What things would you consider to help make the decision?

If I were you, I think that I would stay at the current position part time. It sounds like you are well respected there and that they like you and your work. It seems that if you wanted to add say another day a week or another 8 hours a week, etc. at some point they would let you do that too.

While the cafeteria position may come with close to the same net pay, I think they benefit of a 401(k) is priceless, as is being able to continue to work in your industry.

 

[dalmatian7]

Can you slowly ramp up your hours? Or work from home some? That way your company gets more of a commitment but you can ease into more working hours. If you were able to set up an office at home could your MIL handle the younger kids and your older kids could stay with you but not be under foot while you try to work? Just trying to think of some options.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

Keep in mind that life has a way of throwing you curve balls. What if something happens to your husband? Even if he has great life insurance, you'll have to work to support your family. Kids grow up faster than you think. I would not quit.

 

[taymaesmom]

I have been in a similar place, I stayed home with my kids until the youngest was in 1st grade. During that time I took a few part time jobs when needed and dh's boss let me do some work from home type jobs. When younger dd started 1st grade I was asked to substitute in the cafeteria if they needed, that quickly went from once in a while to everyday, I also started working the breakfast shift in the cafeteria too and the next year they started an after school care program and I started that too. So I was working almost 6 hours a day at the school and loved it most of the time and had the bonus of seeing my kids while working. The downside is every time the kids are off of school you are off of work and no pay. Summers=no pay. So last year I was offered a full time position with dh's company, they needed a new office manager and since I pretty much had done every position there at some point I took it. Alot more money but alot more time working, I also kept the after school program since I now manage it and make good money. I work 50 hours a week and sometimes more and I'm pretty happy. Sometimes I wish I had done something like that sooner, both for the money and for my self worth, it feels good to go out and be with adults and be able to provide more for my family. I waited until younger dd was in high school to make the change, and I think I should have done it sooner.

 

[myhoney]

I know. It's so crazy to think about leaving, since my boss told me yesterday to pretty much name my price to come back full time. And I know lots of kids are in daycare and are fine. And I have thought, too, about my husband's health. He is in great health, but what if?? But for both DH and I, we had stay at home moms. We never did summer camp, and the thought of paying over $5500 (!) for 9 weeks of summer camp for 4 kids...it's nuts! Unless I really did get a wicked raise, I would be in the hole for the summer. And, while I do love my job, it's never ending. My boss is childless, and lives for work. I do bring work home and do it at night or weekends. Not as much as I should or could, because the kids are keeping me busy at night. But he seriously offered me an additional $50k yesterday to come back for 50 hours/week. And I laughed at him. No way am I going from 16 hours to 50. But even 40 would turn into 50. And that's where the school job, where I could make lunches, see the kids and walk out at the end of my shift is tempting. I know there are stresses to every job, but when I worked at my job full time, I was burning out. And that was without kids. I think that is why I am considering it. My co-worker is there full time and has 3 kids, and she is burned out. But she is a very hands off mom, and uses her vacation time for the things she wants to do around her house. She doesn't plan stuff for her kids. I already have my Field Trip Fridays scheduled for the summer! I can't be the mom I have been to the kids all these years and work full time. But I could give them more opportunities if I had more money. Like more frequent trips to WDW! I just feel like I am at a crossroads, and there are so many factors to think about. Thanks for your input!

 

[puffkin]

I may be way off base....but it sounds to me like you will be unhappy if you leave your current position and then would basically have to "start over" once the kids are back in school. Are you an accountant by chance? I am and I know once you are out in our field even a year it is really hard to come back in at the level you are accustomed to. I also have seen way too many threads and heard stories of unexpected deaths, illnesses, husbands leaving, etc where the wife has very little income/career prospects on her own. I would NEVER EVER EVER allow myself to be put into that position.
I think you have an amazing schedule, something I would KILL for, but I can see your boss side about wanting more hours. I know it is a hard position to be in but it is also a good position to be wanted. I would see if they can let you slowly ramp up your hours. Maybe pick up a 3rd day but work from home? Or see if you can work full time during the school year and pt during the summer. It definitely sounds like you have some negotiating power. I am not knocking the school job as it works great for some, but I think in the long term you will really regret it.

Again, just my 2 cents from a FT working mom with 2 VERY active and involved kids. We just make it work and I love that my kids are growing up to see that Mommy and Daddy are there for them but also work hard at their professions. And my kids LOVE daycare/camp. I hate paying for it but they absolutely love it.

 

[Lemurone]

I am absolutely not trying to offend anyone in a school position, but it seems like a cafeteria job would be quite a step down for you if you're in a field where you could easily become a partner with a firm. Taking a big step in a different direction like that could do real harm to your resume, as others have said. I only took about 18 months off after getting laid off while pregnant and it was a BIG DEAL to people. Still was in getting the job I have now, and that was 5 years ago. It also made my mortgage more difficult. People don't understand huge job changes, especially one that cuts your income more than half. Not saying it's right, it was just how it was.
I don't know the ages of your kids, but childcare could be more "affordable" than you think if the olders are in school. With some after school programs there's a good discount for siblings, and that is true for camps too. Yes, it's a lot of money either way, but I personally feel like it's worth it. Ain't nobody got time to go ziplining unless they go somewhere that does it as part of camp YMCA camps are pretty affordable, and maybe you could alternate with grandparents care/camps. Working full time with a gaggle of kids isn't that crazy (I do it!). They all go different places and we alternate grandma care, so they have pretty full afternoons/evenings.
That being said, it sounds like you don't want to do it and 50 hours a week is a lot. I'm lucky to have a flex week schedule (still adds up to about 40 hours) but I have to travel a lot so I definitely see those 60+ weeks when I'm out of town. But, if you make the right choices for the kids, they are A-ok and you will earn enough and hopefully negotiate a generous enough time off schedule that you can all enjoy each other on awesome vacations!
I have stay at home mom friends who never pursued careers once they got married, and they are at an age where that has hit them pretty hard. They have zero options to do anything that could support their family financially if something happened to their DH or their marriage.

 

[kymom99]

How much vacation time would you get if you went back full time? How old are your kids? Would you be able to take vacation a couple days at a time? Then you could do your field trip Fridays. Also, your older kids will be old enough to be home alone before you know it. My mom was a stay at home mom, but she didn't entertain us. She didn't drive, so we stayed home or went to friends' houses to play. I have the best of both worlds because I have always had to work but I am off summers. However I usually work for some extra money in the summers, and my son either stayed with a sitter, came with me, or stayed home alone.

 

[Maddie2]

I wish I were right there with you, I would give you a hug! I have a very different perspective than it appears most others do here. I was home with our kids for 14 years. It wasn't always easy, but it was so worth it. From your post, I think you know what you really want to do, you are just afraid to do it. What does your spouse think? Honey, you will never, I mean never, regret choosing time with your children. Ours are 17 & 20 and it is so true, they really do grow up too fast. Is it nice to have the extra income, of course it is, but having less stress in your life and being the mom you really want to be is a huge gift.

I know this isn't the right choice for every family, but it was for ours.

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

If you were unhappy in your job, I would suggest switching. However, since you like your job and are happy doing part time, stay with it. I did leave my part time engineering job (was full time before kids) to go into education. I enjoyed engineering, but did not want to get sucked into the 50 weeks a year/50 hours a week routine with children.

So, I went back to school to get my teaching credential in special education (another field I enjoy). I now work full time, but it is a very different full time from engineering! I oversee paraeducators and they do a lot of work for very little pay. I encourage every one of them to go get their teaching credential (the pay is at least double to start).

I have been on this route for 5 years and love every minute (even those stressful moments!). There were a lot of people who questioned my decision (except hubby), but I have no regrets. Keep in mind, I also have a pension and decent pay.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

I wish I were right there with you, I would give you a hug! I have a very different perspective than it appears most others do here. I was home with our kids for 14 years. It wasn't always easy, but it was so worth it. From your post, I think you know what you really want to do, you are just afraid to do it. What does your spouse think? Honey, you will never, I mean never, regret choosing time with your children. Ours are 17 & 20 and it is so true, they really do grow up too fast. Is it nice to have the extra income, of course it is, but having less stress in your life and being the mom you really want to be is a huge gift.

I know this isn't the right choice for every family, but it was for ours.

I completely understand this and I did the same thing. I left my professional job when my kids were starting middle school and my husband was transferred. It has worked out well for us. Luckily, we are financially secure and have a fantastic military pension and now my husband has a second career and I work part time. However, my social security payments will be much less than if I had continued to work. I would have a lot of trouble getting a job in my field now.

Again, you never know what is going to happen. My sister's husband, in perfect health, died of a massive, unexpected stroke. Their youngest was only 12 years old. Luckily he had a lot of life insurance, but she has to work full time, or the money will run out before she retires.

It's a difficult decision, but I would recommend working, at least part time.

 

[HM]

Can you arrange your day to be six hours long for five days and work while your kids are in school?
I was able to do that at my job. I dropped them off in the morning and picked them up at the end of their day. I was home whenever they were. As for the ones too young for school....how about a 'nanny'....a person or persons that come to your house?
And while I didn't do summer camps myself (mom was stay at home at that point), my kids did and loved having activities, swimming, tennis, and lots of kids to play with each day.

 

[kuhltiffany]

Some thoughts...
Could you work 4 10 hour days and have Fridays off?
Hire a college/university student for the summer? (Cheaper than camp!)
Ever thought of getting a nanny?

 

[CdnCarrie]

Can you arrange your day to be six hours long for five days and work while your kids are in school?
I was able to do that at my job. I dropped them off in the morning and picked them up at the end of their day. I was home whenever they were. As for the ones too young for school....how about a 'nanny'....a person or persons that come to your house?
And while I didn't do summer camps myself (mom was stay at home at that point), my kids did and loved having activities, swimming, tennis, and lots of kids to play with each day.

This sounds like a good suggestion. Maybe ask if you can work more days at week but for 5-6 hours. Also ask if you can go down to 2 days in the summer months.

 

[SEA333]

More things to think about:

I am assuming your oldest child is around 10, so you already know what it is like after school with activities, homework, etc. Are your kids involved in sports or after school activities? Are you willing to make them give this up once you are working full time - especially as the younger ones get older and start their own activities and homework and you have 6 schedules to juggle?

Do you have a backup plan for when the kids are sick? With 4 kids and the flu or even a nasty cold, strep throat, pink eye, etc...you can end up taking a LOT of time off work if a virus spreads through the house one victim at a time (makes you hope that they all get it at the *same* time and be done! LOL)

Do you REALLY want to work in a cafeteria kitchen? It's hard work and not a lot of pay. Yes, you are at your kids' school, but really, how many times while you are visiting the school do you see the "lunch ladies"? And, no matter how close you are to your kids in proximity, you still have to actually DO the work for so many hours a day...what if you hate it? (I would...)

Working full time for your current employer....how flexible can they be for all of the above? Can you get out early to see your son's soccer game, or get your daughter to dance class by 4pm because she is 6 and they only offer (mandatory to enroll for jazz or tap) ballet for 6 year olds at an ungodly early time that no working parent can possibly get their daughter to on time?

Probably needless to say, but I've been through all of those situations with my 3 kids. I actually worked from home/stayed home when my kids were young, which was a blessing the summer #2 got pinkeye, which she spread to her little brother 10 days later, which he then spread to his older brother a week after that. Had I been working, that would have been a LOT of time off. Also, my oldest and middle are 4 years aparet so I had the luxury of a pretty big time period to get used to homework, school, and activity schedules before diving in with all three at once. I went back to work full time when youngest DS was 4, and not knee deep in homework and activities, so the first year was easy(ier). Now they are a high school freshman, 5th grade and 3rd grade and my head spins trying to keep up with everything. My kids are very involved in sports and after school activities, but there have been a lot of things that I have had to say no to (early dance classes, afterschool activities that end at 4pm, band, etc) because I simply cannot get off work in time to pick them up to take them. Are they ruined for life because they couldn't do book club after school on Tuesdays? No, but if I were at home, they would have been able to do it in a heartbeat.

My advice...think about the future when your kids are flying in a million different directions at different ages and stages, and make your decision from there. Your baby won;t be 20 months forever (as you know!) and sooner or later, sacrifices will have to be made either way.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[myhoney]

I previously looked into a nanny, but the going rate seems to be $10/hour. I'd be working to pay the nanny, and at that point, why? I mean, I would still be contributing to the 401(k), and there would be some $ left over. But not enough to give up the time with my kids. Or, I need to think about what raise I would need to make it worthwhile.

I met with my boss and co-worker this morning, and laid it all out for them. I even mentioned the school job. They know my kids are the priority, and did not mean to imply that I had to be full time now. Just at some point in the near future...

I feel like I am at a crossroads. Either I stay and plan to be full time again in the next 3 years, or I become a cafeteria lady with no plans to go back to the corporate world. Ever. I am not looking at this as a short term change. I am looking at it as if I have to go left, or I have to go right, and the two options move away from each other.

Barring a tragedy, which I know could always happen, I don't want to work full time again. Ever. The kids go to Catholic school, and I would really like to develop a program to teach finance to them. It's never to early to learn, and I know how to stretch a dollar!

I think Maddie2 was right. In my heart, I know what I want, but it is scary to give up a great job and opportunity to make grilled cheese for 200 kids. But, when I came home from my meeting, and the littles asked me to read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom while they ate lunch...I loved it. I was singsonging along and dancing and then we played kitchen...I never expected to have 4 kids. I never expected to want to stay home. But with my first pregnancy, the heartstrings were pulled, and talking about mutual funds doesn't compare for me.

I truly appreciate all of your thoughts. You have helped me to clarify my own thoughts and feelings on it. Thank you!

 

[HM]

I previously looked into a nanny, but the going rate seems to be $10/hour. I'd be working to pay the nanny, and at that point, why? I mean, I would still be contributing to the 401(k), and there would be some $ left over. But not enough to give up the time with my kids. Or, I need to think about what raise I would need to make it worthwhile.

I met with my boss and co-worker this morning, and laid it all out for them. I even mentioned the school job. They know my kids are the priority, and did not mean to imply that I had to be full time now. Just at some point in the near future...

I feel like I am at a crossroads. Either I stay and plan to be full time again in the next 3 years, or I become a cafeteria lady with no plans to go back to the corporate world. Ever. I am not looking at this as a short term change. I am looking at it as if I have to go left, or I have to go right, and the two options move away from each other.

Barring a tragedy, which I know could always happen, I don't want to work full time again. Ever. The kids go to Catholic school, and I would really like to develop a program to teach finance to them. It's never to early to learn, and I know how to stretch a dollar!

I think Maddie2 was right. In my heart, I know what I want, but it is scary to give up a great job and opportunity to make grilled cheese for 200 kids. But, when I came home from my meeting, and the littles asked me to read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom while they ate lunch...I loved it. I was singsonging along and dancing and then we played kitchen...I never expected to have 4 kids. I never expected to want to stay home. But with my first pregnancy, the heartstrings were pulled, and talking about mutual funds doesn't compare for me.

I truly appreciate all of your thoughts. You have helped me to clarify my own thoughts and feelings on it. Thank you!

The woman we had to take care of my kids had one of her own and was willing to work for less in order to keep her with her. Her daughter was my daughters age. This was over 15 years ago and we paid about $250 or some such a week plus the SS and Medicare taxes.

Working flex time at your office that allows you to be home after school or working at home might be the way to go. If you find you can't do that, or try it and don't like it, then it's probably time to do the school job or something similar.