College: Who Pays - Parent or Kid?

Discussion in 'Budget Board' started by anc876, Sep 4, 2012.

  1. MAH4546

    MAH4546 DIS Veteran

    Jul 19, 2005
    I believe it's the parents full responsibility to pay for their child's four year college degree, so that the child graduates debt free and without having worked during school. But I know not many will agree with me.
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  3. niffer5150

    niffer5150 Mouseketeer

    Aug 29, 2012
    This is a big topic at our house right now. We will be paying for our DD college, at least till grad school. She wants to go to Harvard and I will do whatever I have to to make sure she has the opportunity if she wants it. Whatever it takes, ill get it done. We currently put a fair amount of money away in an account. When she no longer needs me to be a stay at home mom, ill be going back to work and putting away my salary for her school. Shes doing her part by going into a special "high school" next year that's at the local college. The classes are duel credit and she can earn 22 a semester. I don't think she will take it for granted tho, she works way too hard to hold up her end of the deal.
  4. Just People

    Just People Lurker

    Apr 3, 2008
    I don't have any kids of my own (Thank Jebus!) but I will pbbly tell my kids what mom told me, "You're 18, you are on your own!" I lived at home, but paid for rent and school on my own while working.
  5. disykat

    disykat DIS Veteran

    Jun 5, 2000
    Like my parents, we are paying for undergrad, without loans if possible. However, like my parents, we expect the kids to participate and adhere to the following stipulations:

    Summer jobs in high school and college to help pay as much as they can, at the minimum their own personal expenses and more as able. Each term we sit down and make plans so everyone is in the loop, knows grades, knows costs, and communicates about how everything is getting covered.

    Jobs during the year if it can be worked into their schedule without interfering with their school work.

    Good grades etc. and initiative to get scholarships as able.

    Choose a school where their financial package including scholarships and the number we told them we could afford enables them to get out of school with no more than about 20K of loans total. In other words, if they want to go to a private or out of state school they have to earn some scholarships.

    The expectation of full support only continues for four years after high school graduation and as long as the student is in good standing and still our financial dependent. (and as I keep reminding my independent one who is still in high school - as long as we hear from him weekly!)

    It worked for me and my siblings and so far it's working for my oldest.
  6. superme80

    superme80 DIS Veteran

    May 2, 2010
    I have always said my kids were going to pay their own way. Thankfully we have years to go, but I am thinking we need to put some money towards it.
  7. Swimalie

    Swimalie DIS Veteran

    Sep 11, 2009
    My parents paid for both me and my sister's degrees. My husband had to pay for half of his so he had to work while going to school. I worked summers just for spending money. We will pay for my son's college as well. Although he's told us he wants to go to the Naval Academy (he's 7).
  8. kaismommie

    kaismommie Mommy of 2 Toddlers

    Jun 8, 2010
    My mom helped me with undergraduate, but I also had to take out loans. I decided to go back to get my MS in Chemistry two years ago and I took out loans for that as well. This was my decision to go back and I went in knowing I'd be responsible for it all. I have less than a year left and I'm in $69K of debt. I'm perfectly fine with it and refuse to take anymore loans out. I probably didn't have to take out as much as I did, but I did for personal reasons.

    I have two children, one who is special needs and probably will never get the chance to attend college. However, my son will have the opportunity to, so I opened him up a savings account earlier this year and money is added into it every month. Those funds will be there when he decides on what he wants to do. I don't want him to have to take out loans as an undergraduate and I will do all I can to support him. If he wants to further his degree even more after that, I can't say right now what we'd do. I'd hope he wouldn't have to get into student loan debt as much as I have. So we shall see.
  9. angierae

    angierae DIS Veteran

    Mar 4, 2010
    My daughter is a senior in high school this year. She has worked all summer, putting 75% of her paychecks in the bank, and she's looking for another job now. She is doing two years of community college and then two years of living at home and driving to a local university. She will be expected to take out loans, and at least work summers (and put that money towards school expenses.) My husband and I will fill in the gaps.

    I do not believe student loans are the worst thing ever. She will probably have no more than $10k in loans and I don't think that's unreasonable.

    I have told her if she wants to live elsewhere during her last two years of college (dorm, apartment, etc) she is responsible for paying for that herself. I'm not paying for her to live somewhere else when there's a roof right here with food and everything already paid.
  10. mhsjax

    mhsjax DIS Veteran

    Mar 3, 2006
    You and I agree 100% on this one. I will do whatever I have to, to pay for my kids college. They are good kids, they work hard and know that college is expected, and they want it also. I don't want them strapped with loans when they get out. My friends parents paid for their college, we were all very lucky, and none of them washed out and they are for the most part very successful members of society today, and are extremely hard workers.
  11. torinsmom

    torinsmom <font color=red>I have someone coming to scoop<br>

    Apr 7, 2004
    I was lucky enough to get grants to pay for college and have enough of a refund to pay for books and about 3 months of rent. After that, my parents paid my rent and I worked to pay my utilities, food, gas etc. That was my first degree. After that, I paid for the rest of my degrees and had to take out student loans.

    I plan to pay for my son's college. He qualifies for pell grants. Unfortunately, he said he was going to community college and then withdrew after classes started, so there is a balance. He will be paying that off, since it was unnecessary, and working until he does start(and part time afterwards as well)
  12. ::Snow_White::

    ::Snow_White:: DIS Veteran

    Jun 3, 2007
    Between scholarships and financial aid I go to a very cheap state school for nothing out of pocket. I live at home so I pay for my phone, insurance, gas, and a few groceries monthly and my parents pay for all the other expenses. I have a part time job now so I use that money for savings and I'll probably need a bit for tuition next year.

    As for my kids (if and when), I expect them to do well enough to get as many scholarships as possible. I don't want them to have loans, so the cost will probably end up split. Hopefully I'll have no debt and a great job that I'll have enough money saved up to easily pay my part. Depending on the situation and how hard they work beforehand it's possible I'd pay for it all.
  13. imsayin

    imsayin DIS Veteran

    May 27, 2004
    FYI - You might want to check to see if Harvard will take those credits. I'm pretty sure the Ivy's and other elite schools don't take much, if any transfer credits. It may help her get into the school, but they may not be worth much more.

    Now, if she goes to a state school, those credits will be valuable, and she can shave years off her education.
  14. Chelley00

    Chelley00 DIS Veteran

    Aug 21, 2005
    As much as we'd like to be able to pay for college with 4 it's just not feasible for us. Oldest DS is at school now and took a year off to work and save money to be able to pay for his housing (scholarships pay for tuition). We will pay foe books all 4 years from his 529, keep him supplied with snacks and necessities and I sock money away in his savings account to help with his payments. We will do the same with the others.

    I got absolutely no help from my parents for college so I don't feel bad not doing more. I hope it will make it them appreciate it more by not having it handed to them.
  15. cornflake

    cornflake DIS Veteran

    Jul 31, 2011
    You know the less you make, the better off you are there?

    Harvard, like its cohorts, is free if you make < like $60,000/yr.

    It's still less than a 1 in 100 shot at getting in no matter what, but if she happens to hit that lottery, she wouldn't need money unless you make a significant salary (more than twice the $60, I believe, before you even get into having to pay more than 10% of the tuition). As someone else said tho, Harvard won't take those credits for anything.
  16. Pigeon

    Pigeon DIS Veteran

    Jan 12, 2005
    We will pay for four years at a state university or the equivalent. The kid will have to maintain decent grades or they can come back home and go to community college. This is a top priority for us.

    This is essentially what my parents did for me. Dh's parents paid for all educational expenses, including putting his brothers through medical school, and the kids could go anywhere they could get in, so some very pricey private schools were in the mix.

    I think it's complete rot to say that kids whose parents pay for college don't appreciate it. Hands down, my education was the most priceless gift my parents could have given me and I will be forever in their debt.
  17. eliza61


    Jun 2, 2003
    My parents paid for my college tuition and we are paying for 90% of our sons tuition.
    We did emphasis a college education because we do believe strongly it's the best avenue for certain things.
    We did not require that the boys know "exactly" what they wanted to do but neither will they be allowed to just "goof" off. We simply stressed that this is an opportunity that they are blessed to be able to take advantage of. that opportunity comes with some requirements and we hope they avail themselves of it, if they don't it's on them. We do not feel that we are "handing" any thing to our kids.

    I totally agree with Pigeon, I was blessed and fortunate that my parents were able to offer me a college education. I appreciate every thing my parents every did for me and I appreciate the times they told me no
    My sons are great human beings and contrary to what many feel here are not unappreciative spoiled people simply because they did not have to take out huge college loans
  18. mrsklamc

    mrsklamc <font color=blue>I apologize in advance, but what

    Oct 29, 2006
    Our ideal plan is to make our kids think they are paying for it themselves and then pay off their loans at graduation.
  19. RitaE

    RitaE DIS Veteran

    May 29, 2008
    I paid for my own education - undergrad and grad school.

    I'm paying for all my kids undergrad educations. They've been told Grad school is on them if they want to go that route. My oldest is facing it now. He saved up enough money to pay for one class this semester and his school let him enroll it in as a non-degree seeking student. He's exploring options for the rest but I think he's going to have to work a couple of years and save some money.

    In my educational experience the students with significant parental monetary support (we called them the rich kids) did great. They weren't burdened with having to earn money to pay for their tuition and they had time to study and when we got to our Senior year there were several networking and job searching functions via the Professional societies. There were also scores of unpaid internships that were great for the resume and getting a post-internship jobs. I really never met any of the "only there to party goof offs" people talk about but I think that if you wanted a four year party you wouldn't be likely to choose my major.

    Those of us with outside jobs had very little time for those types of things and to be honest it made getting my first opportunity post-graduation much harder.
  20. ellone

    ellone DIS Veteran

    Apr 30, 2009
    My parents paid - kind of. I went to a local state college where I commuted and I had a scholarship for 2 years and they (my parents) paid for 3 semesters of tuition ( I graduated in 3.5 years). I graduated with no debt (well even if they hadn't paid, the debt would have been small).

    I will offer my children the same thing - I will only pay the tuition for the local state college - tuition only no room and board. So for the rest they will need to pick up the bill.

    MUFFYCAT <marquee behavior=alternate><font color=deeppink>S

    Oct 28, 2002
    We pay for state education. If they choose to go anywhere beyond that cost they would be responsible for it.
    So far it's worked out at as my 21 & 18 DD both love their colleges. My older is upset this is her last year! I see that they appreciate that we are footing the bill.

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