Christmas is on a Wednesday...Help me make some changes!

[LynnTH]

I think it is time to change the menu. You don't have to have Ham or Turkey. We have had many different meals over the years - and everyone brings something.

I like what a previous poster said about Lasagna. You can make that ahead of time. Someone can bring some big bags of salad with some toppings, someone else can bring breadsticks that you just need to heat up. Maybe have someone else bring appetizer type items to snack on. Meat & Cheese tray with crackers, dips, vegi tray, wine - all of these can easily be bought by someone. Then have your Aunt bring the desserts.

Make it as easy as possible and it does not need to be fancy or have a ton of different items on the table.

When we do ham or turkey my SIL always will do a big pan of cheesy hashbrown potatoes. These could be made ahead of time too. Try and think of different options and not the usual.

 

[powellrj]

I did all the entertaining for years with our families. While I love to cook, I hate entertaining because we have a small house and 1 bathroom. We also have a small kitchen without a dishwasher, so I really had to mainstream the operation.

I agree with the poster who asked if you can do most of the work on the weekend. I would get all the dishes out that I was going to use and get those ready. I will be honest and say I pretty much went to disposables. I would use the nicer plates, pretty paper napkins and my silver. I also finally went to aluminum pans that could be tossed when done. My tables would be set nicely and we would eat buffet style with all the dishes in the kitchen. Because you got your plates in the kitchen with the food, it didn't look bad to use the disposable plates.

My basic menu could be pretty much made ahead and just put together on Christmas morning. I used a cooking bag for the turkey and ham. I made my broth all month and would freeze it. The same with bread for dressing. I would cube and freeze it all month and then all I needed to do was take it out of the freezer.

I also used convenience foods. I found frozen mirepoix vegetables that I use. I also use frozen noodles, already cut vegetables, boxed broth if I need more, frozen roll dough, deli cranberry relish. I used Jiffy corn casserole recipe, canned sweet potatoes and crock-pot mashed potatoes. I would buy desserts, most schools around here run a wicks pie sale so I would stock up on those.

I would have loved to be able to spend hours doing a Martha Stewart Christmas, but I also did Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas morning brunch while working a full-time job and raising 3 kids with a Dh who was rarely home. It wasn't going to happen.

Good luck!

 

[Alsobrook]

Invite people over the weekend before.

 

[DopeyDame]

Most nicer grocery stores sell whole holiday meals - you stop by the night before or sometimes even Christmas morning, and pick up a box with already cooked turkey, mashed potatos, vegies, etc. Honey Baked Ham also sells tons of ready to go sides that just need to be heated up.
No, it won't taste like grandmas, but for this year, that's OK.

 

[laughinplace199]

I think it is time to change the menu. You don't have to have Ham or Turkey. We have had many different meals over the years - and everyone brings something.

I like what a previous poster said about Lasagna. You can make that ahead of time. Someone can bring some big bags of salad with some toppings, someone else can bring breadsticks that you just need to heat up. Maybe have someone else bring appetizer type items to snack on. Meat & Cheese tray with crackers, dips, vegi tray, wine - all of these can easily be bought by someone. Then have your Aunt bring the desserts.

Make it as easy as possible and it does not need to be fancy or have a ton of different items on the table.

When we do ham or turkey my SIL always will do a big pan of cheesy hashbrown potatoes. These could be made ahead of time too. Try and think of different options and not the usual.

I agree. My youngest, DS6, was born at the end of October and had a lot of feeding issues as a newborn. For all of November and December that year, we were constantly at the dr's office for weight checks. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. We always host Christmas Eve and that year, I didn't know how I was going to manage. I ended up ordering a deli platter, rolls, chips, salads, etc from my local supermarket and my guests brought the desserts.

Everyone had a great time because it's all about being together, not about what we're eating.

 

[laughinplace199]

Most nicer grocery stores sell whole holiday meals - you stop by the night before or sometimes even Christmas morning, and pick up a box with already cooked turkey, mashed potatos, vegies, etc. Honey Baked Ham also sells tons of ready to go sides that just need to be heated up.
No, it won't taste like grandmas, but for this year, that's OK.

Great suggestion. I did that once for THanksgiving and the food was very, very good.

 

[Traveliz]

There is no way I would host a Christmas before the holiday on a day when my own children could not attend. Soooo I would do Wednesday and I would start preparing now. We have the same menu every year and I know exactly how much of what I need to buy so I start buying (what I can in advance). Great that your Aunt helps out but the men who don't cook can be given other responsbilities (Do you always have punch, egg nog, whatever? Give one of them the list of ingredients to bring for that). Do you do a vegetable tray? Have one of them buy that? Those are little helps but helps nonetheless.

Not sure how your home is set up but that Sunday before is when I would do everything I could in advance. Set the dining room table, bring up and set aside the extra tables and chairs, etc.

We do have a traditional menu but I am not one to mash my own potatoes or assemble my own stuffing so all of that is purchased ahead and then made the morning of and put in crock pots. Stays super moist and delicious.

If you do presents we do the whole everyone grab dishes, tables, chairs, etc and get it done and put away so its done and out of the way for presents. Many hands make quick work. Even the little ones (who are most anxious for presents) are happy to carry salt and pepper shakers back to the kitchen or whatever.

I totally get being burned out. I am the only one in my family that hosts too. I was one who would never not have it on the day until my daughter moved to FL and to work for Disney so now IF she comes home we have a family traditional Christmas when we can (we have had it afternoon, evening after work, weekend) but whenever we can get everyone together (we have a shift worker, a nurse, and a firefighter all with competing schedules in our crew). I also still have my Dad who is in his 80s and looks forward to the food and family. It is soooo worth it as exhausting as it may be.

This year it looks like Christmas day but my daughter is not coming home at all so that is sad for me. It's early enough to spread out the work and make it work.

Best of luck,

Liz

 

[luvsJack]

Ok, so the men can't cook. A bagged salads and a list of things that you may want to add in, drinks, rolls (tell them to get them from the bakery section of the grocery store or if there is a bakery close by they can get it there), ice, a couple of frozen pies (Mrs. Smith makes some fantastic pies--we like the turtle pecan, pecan, apple and Boston Cream), cranberry sauce are all things they can bring and you can mark off your list.

Dressing can be made ahead, frozen and taken out the night before to thaw and just put in the oven Christmas Day. I think mashed potatoes can be frozen too. Make one thing a day and freeze it.

If everyone is set on turkey or ham--order it. There may be BBQ places in your area that smoke both kinds of meat, we have several places that will fry a turkey and then there is always Heavenly Ham.

Make your menu and your plans with as little to do as possible on Christmas day.

You could even think of a menu that is all finger/party foods.

Since right now, you and your aunt are the only ones that cook, I am not sure that moving it to her house would ease your load that much anyway.

Clean up afterwards should be a group effort. How hard is it for anyone to throw away their own plate, cup and utensil. Cook everything in aluminum pans and either throw away the empty or cover it with foil.

 

[eeyoresmom]

All great advice. My guests do not help much. Shame on me for not figuring out a way to get them to. My DH sometimes helps a ton, sometimes not at all. Two Easter's ago ( It is still vivid in my memory....) not one person of our 20 -25 guests did one thing. No one even brought a coffee cup into the kitchen from the dining room. I remember because that was also the year my mom was here, and as I was washing pans from dinner, she yelled from the dining room table " Tina, do you have coffee coming?" I am leaning towards lasagna and meatballs and whatever the others bring......I'm getting really annoyed because now my one aunt who IS very good with desserts has a son who is almost married with two kids. They come to our house and usually do not bring ANYTHING. It's as if they are still kids and what their mother brought counts as their contribution. Or, they will say they are coming then not show up.....I've created this. Did I tell you I buy takeout containers and each family or single guests leaves with a complete meal all labeled and packaged?! I usually do that while everyone has desserts. I am an idiot. Definitely changing it up this year.

 

[scrapquitler]

Looking for some tips and advice since Christmas day is on a Wednesday this year. I work full time so will be working Monday and Tuesday, will have Chritmas Day off then back to work the next day. We spend Christmas Eve with DH's family so I will leave work Tuesday and go right to their house until late, then have to host Christmas Day for my side of the family 20-25 people the next day. I am already dreading it and I LOVE Christmas...No one in my family will host Christmas so if I don't do it, we don't celebrate with them.( they are not being lazy, just houses too small) I am still hosting the holiday (actually every major holiday) mainly for my 4 kids because it is what they are used to but I am really burning out. I thought of possibly celebrating on the Sunday before Christmas but two of my 4 kids will be working.....not sure what to do, but I thought if I was having a hard time maybe others here were too and would have some advice.

Do something simple on Christmas Day instead of a big full meal for 25 people.

There are lots of options; Have them come for lunch instead of dinner, or just desert later in the evening, or just have finger foods, or have everyone bring a potluck type dish and put out a buffet. Do it the Saturday after Christmas if that works better for you and leave Christmas Day just for your immediate family. Or Take Thursday off of work if that is possible.

It's OKAY to change up the tradition and do something different. And it's okay to ask other people for help.

 

[NEDisneyFans]

If everyone is looking to you to keep up the tradition, tell them you will be happy to do it -- with a few changes.

Do the big family get-together on the Saturday after Christmas and enjoy YOUR family on Christmas Day.

There have been lots of suggestions on how to manage the menu, so just decide which one you can live with and enjoy the holiday!

Ali

 

[Bren's Mom]

OP, I totally understand!

If it were me I'd first discuss with dh. If Christmas Eve at his parents trumps Christmas Day at home, I'd go to his parents on Christmas Eve.

However, I'd move Christmas Day to the following Sunday (29th) with the extended family and have just an easy purchaesd from the store coffee cake with fruit breakfast for my immediate family followed by a pan of lasagna made the weekend before and frozen, have my kids make salad and pick up garlic bread and...relax and enjoy.

 

[luvsJack]

All great advice. My guests do not help much. Shame on me for not figuring out a way to get them to. My DH sometimes helps a ton, sometimes not at all. Two Easter's ago ( It is still vivid in my memory....) not one person of our 20 -25 guests did one thing. No one even brought a coffee cup into the kitchen from the dining room. I remember because that was also the year my mom was here, and as I was washing pans from dinner, she yelled from the dining room table " Tina, do you have coffee coming?" I am leaning towards lasagna and meatballs and whatever the others bring......I'm getting really annoyed because now my one aunt who IS very good with desserts has a son who is almost married with two kids. They come to our house and usually do not bring ANYTHING. It's as if they are still kids and what their mother brought counts as their contribution. Or, they will say they are coming then not show up.....I've created this. Did I tell you I buy takeout containers and each family or single guests leaves with a complete meal all labeled and packaged?! I usually do that while everyone has desserts. I am an idiot. Definitely changing it up this year.

Oh my! I would set the takeout containers out and the food in the throw away pans and say "have at it". Then as they empty the pans, throw them away.

I only have my three kids and my mom for stuff like this and my teen dd and my grown sons know:
1. do NOT show up or leave empty handed.
2. clean up is a group effort-- NOT my job

The only person that gets a pass is my mom.

 

[MichelleVW]

1.) For starters, do NOT go to your INLAWS for C. Eve. Let your DH take the kiddos and bow this time. IT IS OK.

2.) Cancel "family Christmas" at your house on Wednesday THIS YEAR. Tell family that due to your work schedule you are not able to host on "the day".

3.) If you would like to hold a celebration do it on a different day other than C. day.

4.) It will be OK. If anyone complains tell them to host it.

This! We don't do anything traditional on Christmas...I read all the drama about people "having" to drive to their inlaws, and then "having" to drive all over creation and back on Christmas Day...not for me. My in laws live 2 1/2 hours away and if they want to see us they are more than welcome to drive over..but no one does. My family lives 16 hours away, so we're not goin there.

People put way too much pressure on themselves to make Christmas "perfect" and the "same" every year. It's so much more enjoyable when you let all that go!

 

[TheIncredibles!]

All great advice. My guests do not help much. Shame on me for not figuring out a way to get them to. My DH sometimes helps a ton, sometimes not at all. Two Easter's ago ( It is still vivid in my memory....) not one person of our 20 -25 guests did one thing. No one even brought a coffee cup into the kitchen from the dining room. I remember because that was also the year my mom was here, and as I was washing pans from dinner, she yelled from the dining room table " Tina, do you have coffee coming?" I am leaning towards lasagna and meatballs and whatever the others bring......I'm getting really annoyed because now my one aunt who IS very good with desserts has a son who is almost married with two kids. They come to our house and usually do not bring ANYTHING. It's as if they are still kids and what their mother brought counts as their contribution. Or, they will say they are coming then not show up.....I've created this. Did I tell you I buy takeout containers and each family or single guests leaves with a complete meal all labeled and packaged?! I usually do that while everyone has desserts. I am an idiot. Definitely changing it up this year.

You have to change it up. It's tough getting a meal together for a crowd even with help.

In our family helping is not optional, it's just done. We're a big family - like I said 34 people from babies up to my grandmother. If my one brother comes down(he lives 6 hours away) we are 39! My sister and I work to get all the food hot and out so we can do buffet. My husband typically does set up and breakdown and leaves me alone in the middle My Aunts clean up afterwards, one washes the other dries and since they don't know where anything goes they just stack stuff neatly on my stovetop. My cousins usually pack up the food and give the dishes over to be washed and pack up leftovers for whoever wants what. Whoever is not helping in the kitchen is dealing with the kids and garbage. The men are usually sitting in front of the TV........

If you are unsure how to start then just ask for help. "Hey Cousin Silvia can you give me a hand getting the food ready? Sister Sally can you get all the kids sitting down so we can get plates ready for them?" Then after dinner ask again - Mom can you help me get the food packed up? Sister Sue can you just walk around and check and make sure I have all the dishes?" They'll get the hint.......

 

[runwad]

I second the Lasagna suggestion. That's what I did. My family gets together on Christmas Eve, we have an informal buffet where we all bring food. We have a good time together as there are a lot of us, we usually don't leave for home till 1 am. Then the next day, Christmas, DH's family comes to our house. There are 10 of them. In laws always did prime rib for Christmas dinner and I kept that up for probably 10 years then finally changed it to just lasagna and salad. SIL just sits and does nothing and only ever contributed a bag salad and rolls to the prime rib dinner. We were dead tired from our festivities the night before. Kids get up around 6 so not a full nights sleep, ugh. Having the dinner already made up and just placed in the oven has made the day much more enjoyable. I hated making all those sides and we (my DH helped) made everything fresh that day. Plus we made a pot of soup. We were dead.

They all adjusted to the menu change.

 

[eeyoresmom]

OP here. Ok, I haven't gotten a chance to speak to my two oldest DD's, but DS16 thinks we should do it on Sunday and he doesn't care what food is served....other DD was adament that we celebrate it ON the day. I then told her that if that was the case I wanted to do lasagna, meatballs and salad and then she went on and on about how "everyone" would help with the big turkey dinner. ( She is 18...there is no way she's getting up at 5AM to cook!) Right now I am leaning toward doing it on Christmas day itself because all my kids will be there and doing the lasagna and meatballs. If someone wants a turkey they can cook one, right?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

OP here. Ok, I haven't gotten a chance to speak to my two oldest DD's, but DS16 thinks we should do it on Sunday and he doesn't care what food is served....other DD was adament that we celebrate it ON the day. I then told her that if that was the case I wanted to do lasagna, meatballs and salad and then she went on and on about how "everyone" would help with the big turkey dinner. ( She is 18...there is no way she's getting up at 5AM to cook!) Right now I am leaning toward doing it on Christmas day itself because all my kids will be there and doing the lasagna and meatballs. If someone wants a turkey they can cook one, right?

Sucker!

Frankly I find cooking a turkey easier than lasagna. Then again I am always roasting chickens.

Good Luck with things. If you want to do it, then go for it.

 

[AuroraSheasMom]

I think the one has come to have a heart to heart conversation with the family. While I normally believe in having one on one conversations, in this case I would send a very polite but honest email to your family (since is seems like you won't have the opportunity to talk one on one with each one before Christmas. Tell them exactly what you told us. You love the tradition, spending time with everyone but that it has simply become too much for you to handle alone. That you would love to host but you need help with the meal, clean up etc. and if you can't get help, you will have no choice but to start a new, more manageable tradition with only immediate family. Then suggest if "Dad can bring rolls, Suzi and Jon can bring a side, and Aunt marge can bring one of her fabulous desserts, I think of ether we can keep the tradition alive!" You can even mention tongue in cheek that you know most of the guy don't cook but Publix, Kroger and so on have great deli meals.

I hope you can get some help and keep the tradition alive but if not, do what You need to do to make the holiday enjoyable.

All great advice. My guests do not help much. Shame on me for not figuring out a way to get them to. My DH sometimes helps a ton, sometimes not at all. Two Easter's ago ( It is still vivid in my memory....) not one person of our 20 -25 guests did one thing. No one even brought a coffee cup into the kitchen from the dining room. I remember because that was also the year my mom was here, and as I was washing pans from dinner, she yelled from the dining room table " Tina, do you have coffee coming?" I am leaning towards lasagna and meatballs and whatever the others bring......I'm getting really annoyed because now my one aunt who IS very good with desserts has a son who is almost married with two kids. They come to our house and usually do not bring ANYTHING. It's as if they are still kids and what their mother brought counts as their contribution. Or, they will say they are coming then not show up.....I've created this. Did I tell you I buy takeout containers and each family or single guests leaves with a complete meal all labeled and packaged?! I usually do that while everyone has desserts. I am an idiot. Definitely changing it up this year.

 

[eeyoresmom]

Sucker!

Frankly I find cooking a turkey easier than lasagna. Then again I am always roasting chickens.

Good Luck with things. If you want to do it, then go for it.

Lol.....No way I'm falling for that! I agree that a turkey is easy to cook. I'm leaning toward the lasagna because I can make two big pans of it the Sunday before and literally pop them in the oven Christmas Day. I am going to communicate via group email a list of what others agree to bring. That way if they don't bring it ( happens regularly) They will be accountable to the group.