Child hurt her friend??

[PeterPanic]

Alrighty, I am not familiar with proper 'etiquette' in this situation and figured the DISboards may be of some assistance.

My daughter and I went to a playdate at a friends home today. Both children are a few months shy of 3 yrs old. The parents are good friends with my husband and I, we see each other frequently. The friendship of the kids is a by product of the fact the parents have been friends for years.

While at their home my daughter slammed shut the sliding glass door while we were setting up lunch. She ended up partially amputating the finger of her friend. We quickly wrapped the finger in gauze (it was about 75% off at the tip) and went to the ER. Thankfully the nail bed was not touched so they stitched it back on. Though they will see another doc soon to determine is surgery is needed since a small piece of bone broke off.

I feel awful. Awful for my friends child. He doesn't need this. Awful my kid was responsible. We all agree there was no ill intent. She wasn't aiming for him. She was just a 2 yr old shutting a door. The kids are really too young to fullu grasp what went on besides my DD saying "I gave buddy a ****oo".

I covered the copay at the ER. Have also purchased a small get well gift for the friend to be mailed out promptly. Is there anything else to do? Anything else expected of me? Never had this happen before.

Sorry to hear about that accident, but, I also have to comment about how dirty minded this sites "no saying bad words" is. That made me laugh. Not the story, the censorship.

BTW, it sounds like you are doing everything as you should. Hope it all turns out all right. boo - boo and all.

 

[scottishduffy]

Yeah, the boo-boo thing made me giggle too. Was too lazy to go back and edit.

The friend is doing fine for now. His mom claims her biggest issue is that he is pretty much normal and wants to be bouncy and rambunctious. She is terrified he will re-injure the finger in some as he seems kinda fascinated by it.

We scoured amazon yesterday for the perfect "Sorry I severed your finger" gift. A lovely toy plane and a pilots hat/dress up to match. My LO and I have discussed how she needs to be super careful with doors. Yet she is only 2, not sure how much of that she absorbs.

The accident was at the friends home so I don't think homeowners insurance is involved in anyway. Still feeling like a crummy Mom for not being close enough to stop my LO from shutting the door. We shall see if surgery occurs.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I know how you feel. My DS hurt his friend in school when they were 7 years old. The boys were messing around with scissors and my son cut his friends thumb. The friend needed stitches. It was pretty bad. I felt horrible, and in our case the boys should have known better! I ended up paying half the friends copayment since the mom and I agreed that the boys were equally at fault. I did offer full payment at first. I didn't know the mom. We never even met. We just handled everything via email, and I mailed her a check after she emailed me a copy of the bill.

Accidents happen. I know you feel bad about it, but you can't prevent every accident in life. You can't stand over your 2 year old at all times.

Also, I once tried it use my disboard user name as a user name at the Lego website, and it wouldn't let me use it because of the pooh. Talk about weird filters!

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

Yeah, the boo-boo thing made me giggle too. Was too lazy to go back and edit. The friend is doing fine for now. His mom claims her biggest issue is that he is pretty much normal and wants to be bouncy and rambunctious. She is terrified he will re-injure the finger in some as he seems kinda fascinated by it. We scoured amazon yesterday for the perfect "Sorry I severed your finger" gift. A lovely toy plane and a pilots hat/dress up to match. My LO and I have discussed how she needs to be super careful with doors. Yet she is only 2, not sure how much of that she absorbs. The accident was at the friends home so I don't think homeowners insurance is involved in anyway. Still feeling like a crummy Mom for not being close enough to stop my LO from shutting the door. We shall see if surgery occurs.

You are not a crummy mom! We can not be on top of our children every second and that's why these are called accidents. DH was with DD when she lost her finger, as were other adults and it didn't matter because it was a fluke accident. You are doing everything you can and the fact that you care so much shows what a good mom you are.

What kind of follow up appts does he have? I know it's different because they were able to reattach for him, but we had 2-3 weeks of constant appointments which emotionally were hard to deal with (for our daughter, but she's older & for us). Not that you are obligated at all, but maybe a gift card for takout one night - I know one appt in particular for us (when the stitches came out) was so emotionally draining for us, cooking was the last thing on my mind. And the present for him is a great idea - my DD loved getting things in the mail. FWIW, she was excused from school for 3 days and from PE for about 6 weeks, so her fear of re-injury is a real one. They were able to immobilize my daughter's hand/arm & gave her a sling, which may be an option (covered the tip of her finger) for the first few weeks. You don't have to pass any of this on of course, just offering my experience.

 

[sookie]

Sounds like you've done all you can do. At this point it's kind of in the hands of the injured child's parents and what they do. It would not surprise me if they sue you/your homeowner's insurance, particularly if their child requires surgery. But they may also be fine with chalking it up as an accident and moving on.

It was not at the OP's home. I would be surprised if that DID happen.

 

[Jennasis]

It was not at the OP's home. I would be surprised if that DID happen.

People get crazy when it comes to their children, so it wouldn't surprise me if they tried to sue for medical expenses. I'm not advocating that they should.

 

[JessicaR]

I think you all handled it very well! It was a terrible accident and they are toddlers - no blame or intent. Glad the parents were able to grasp that -

Hope that finger heals perfect with no need for further care or surgeries.

I bet it was very nerve-racking

 

[Hillbeans]

This truly is just that, a freak accident. While I was babysitting in the '80's when I was a teenager - the kids I was watching had unexpected friends over and things quickly got out of hand and one of the kids got the tip of his finger stuck in the door and the tip came off. I freaked out and it still gives me nightmares to this day. I know his finger was re-attached and I felt awful and went to visit the kid and brought some gifts the week afterwards. I endlessly lecture my own children about slamming doors in our home (not allowed!).

 

[NCDisneyMom]

Accidents can happen to any kid, at any time, at any age. We were on the reverse side of that just last year...with my 13yo DS. He was outside running around with his friends in the neighborhood. They were one street away, playing tag. Another boy was chasing my son, their feet got tangled, and my son faceplanted in the street.

I get the phone call and go pick him up and, at the time, it just looked like he had some bumps and bruises. But, as the bump on his head got bigger, he was dazed, confused and dizzy, and his wrist hurt, so we headed to the ER. Of course, word spread quickly, and word got back to the Mom of the other boy. Through mutual friends, she got my cell phone and texted me the nicest, sweetest apology ever. Although, as I told her, it wasn't necessary. They were boys playing, and it was nothing but an accident. I never even considered asking her to pay anything. I'm sorry your little one hurt your friend's son, but it was clearly just an accident. I hope there is a good outcome for you.

Just to finish up this story...no concussion. He ended up with a broken wrist, and one stitch in his upper lip. Oh, and some broken brackets on his braces...but better the braces than his teeth!! lol

 

[MSSANDRA]

Hopefully you know your friends well enough that a law suit would not be an issue. In reality, the age of the child, and the door was at their home, would most likely mean any attempt to place blame on you would be unsuccessful. What I would be at least a bit concerned about, is making sure that your child understand it was just an accident and that no one else says anything unkind to him about the incident. Guilt can be a tough thing for anyone, especially a toddler,

 

[nugov2]

My father in law was bringing my 1 yr old outside and we have french doors that open up from our sun room to backyard. My ds had his hand in between the joint of the door when my other child opened the garage door(garage was open at the time) and the cross breeze slammed that door shut so hard on my little guys hand. I thought all of his fingers would be gone, but luckily it was just his thumb. It broke the bone, he lost the nail and needed surgery. It was an accident and would never hold either my fil bringing him outside or my son opening the garage door to get something responsible in any way.

You are paying their copay, I wouldn't even expect that...so IMO you have gone above and beyond. Accidents happen...that is why they are called that. I have 3 kids and they have all been involved in some sort of accident caused by someone else. Just happens. As the person who caused it(or the parent of the child in this case) you feel responsible, but you are doing all the right things.

 

[Laura66]

It sounds like everyone is handling it well!
I wound still offer to pay whatever their insurance doesn't. It was an accident - but I don't think they should have to pay any expenses that their insurance doesn't cover.

 

[kidzmom3]

Do not be surprised if they are forced by their insurance company to sue you. Medical Insurance companies often refuse to pay if they think another party has liability in the accident. Your friends may not want to go this route, but if their insurance refuses to pay them may have to. This includes the ED visit that has already been completed.

 

[Kellydelly]

Do not be surprised if they are forced by their insurance company to sue you. Medical Insurance companies often refuse to pay if they think another party has liability in the accident. Your friends may not want to go this route, but if their insurance refuses to pay them may have to. This includes the ED visit that has already been completed.

I think that is a stretch. This happened at the "victim's" home, and it was between toddlers, not a responsible, adult person.

I think it was kind to offer to pay for the ER copay. I am not sure how much responsibility you want to own, not knowing what care is ahead for the injury. I think if it were my kid that got injured I would just feel responsible for my own kids' safety and actions, and realize that it was an accident and I wouldn't expect you to pay. It looks like this person has insurance, so hopefully nobody is out of pocket much for the care.

 

[MSLRAC]

I think that is a stretch. This happened at the "victim's" home, and it was between toddlers, not a responsible, adult person. I think it was kind to offer to pay for the ER copay. I am not sure how much responsibility you want to own, not knowing what care is ahead for the injury. I think if it were my kid that got injured I would just feel responsible for my own kids' safety and actions, and realize that it was an accident and I wouldn't expect you to pay. It looks like this person has insurance, so hopefully nobody is out of pocket much for the care.

The OP paid the copay at the ER so an insurance company could see that as admitting fault. I admit that it's a stretch but I could easily see them suing especially if this injury becomes costly.

Something similar happened to my DD a couple of years ago. Our medical insurance sued the location where it happened and the organization hosting the event that she was at. It was a freak accident and we didn't blame anyone for it but we had no say in the matter.

OP, I hope the little one's finger heals quickly and without issue. DD's injury was lower on the finger at her MCP joint and it required emergency surgery to save the finger and months of physical therapy afterward.

 

[nugov2]

The OP paid the copay at the ER so an insurance company could see that as admitting fault. I admit that it's a stretch but I could easily see them suing especially if this injury becomes costly.

Something similar happened to my DD a couple of years ago. Our medical insurance sued the location where it happened and the organization hosting the event that she was at. It was a freak accident and we didn't blame anyone for it but we had no say in the matter.

OP, I hope the little one's finger heals quickly and without issue. DD's injury was lower on the finger at her MCP joint and it required emergency surgery to save the finger and months of physical therapy afterward.

This seems so odd to me, I've never heard of that. I wonder if it is different insurance companies or levels of insurance. When we have been at the ER for any accidents nobody asks where it happened or who was responsible for the accident. Nobody from insurance ever calls. It is submitted to insurance by ER as patient needed surgery for finger after being shut in door. When my dd needed stitches from grabbing an old glass door handle at someone's house that cracked in her hand and sliced it open...it was treated as stitches. No dissertation was taken on how it happened, where and who might be responsible.

 

[Arkansan]

This seems so odd to me, I've never heard of that. I wonder if it is different insurance companies or levels of insurance. When we have been at the ER for any accidents nobody asks where it happened or who was responsible for the accident. Nobody from insurance ever calls. It is submitted to insurance by ER as patient needed surgery for finger after being shut in door. When my dd needed stitches from grabbing an old glass door handle at someone's house that cracked in her hand and sliced it open...it was treated as stitches. No dissertation was taken on how it happened, where and who might be responsible.

It may have been due to the age of the patient or the type of injury. I used to work in medical claims and customer service for a major health insurance company. We were always instructed to ask for accident details in certain situations. If an auto is involved, then auto insurance may pay instead of medical. If the injury occurred at work, then it would be covered by workmen's comp.

The accident details are often written on the claim form or are included in the written doctor's notes. Sometime the patient (or patient's parent/guardian) calls the insurance company to ask about coverage and we could note the file at that time so there would not be a claim delay. If no details were provided and either a car accident or workplace injury was suspected, we could not process any more claims due to that injury until the details were submitted. Of course, some injuries were never questioned, but I know I requested accident details MANY times and I was not the only claims processor to do so. It is pretty common.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

This seems so odd to me, I've never heard of that. I wonder if it is different insurance companies or levels of insurance. When we have been at the ER for any accidents nobody asks where it happened or who was responsible for the accident. Nobody from insurance ever calls. It is submitted to insurance by ER as patient needed surgery for finger after being shut in door. When my dd needed stitches from grabbing an old glass door handle at someone's house that cracked in her hand and sliced it open...it was treated as stitches. No dissertation was taken on how it happened, where and who might be responsible.

I often got calls from my insurance company after an ER visit where they ask details about the accident or injury to see if another insurance company shares liability. I recall getting many calls for various family members - often the kids. If I happened to "ignore" a call, soon afterward I got a letter from a law firm threatening legal action if I didn't return the call. Once I did, they were very nice about it and acted like it wasn't a big deal, but no question they wanted the information.

OP I hope things continue to go well between you and your friends.

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

This in interesting to me. We are Kaiser members and my DD was seen at a non-Kaiser ER when she lost her finger and did all of her follow up within Kaiser. We were asked what happened, but never had anybody follow up with us regarding insurance. Kaiser paid all of it, minus our ER deductible.

 

[nugov2]

It may have been due to the age of the patient or the type of injury. I used to work in medical claims and customer service for a major health insurance company. We were always instructed to ask for accident details in certain situations. If an auto is involved, then auto insurance may pay instead of medical. If the injury occurred at work, then it would be covered by workmen's comp.

The accident details are often written on the claim form or are included in the written doctor's notes. Sometime the patient (or patient's parent/guardian) calls the insurance company to ask about coverage and we could note the file at that time so there would not be a claim delay. If no details were provided and either a car accident or workplace injury was suspected, we could not process any more claims due to that injury until the details were submitted. Of course, some injuries were never questioned, but I know I requested accident details MANY times and I was not the only claims processor to do so. It is pretty common.

hmmm, sounds like hmo vs ppo type of insurance. I don't have to call and ask for anyone to be treated. We go, they pay. No copay or referral either. I am assuming the follow up calling has to do with the company you have. I have had kids for 9 years and have never had a call asking why we were seeking treatment. I am glad, I would never want them going after one of my family members or friends In a car accident I can see b/c that would be the auto insurance.