Child Doesn't Want to Go

[Princessmommymouse]

we are leaving for Disneyland in the morning (yay!) and my son is completely beside himself and doesn't want to go. He is on the Autisim spectrum, and doesn't like change. I thought we had tackled the hurdle with watching youtube videos and talking about everything, he seemed excited. As soon as I mentioned we are leaving tomorrow he fell to bits. He is scared of going somewhere far away apparently and has declared he is staying home.

Not sure how to get him back on board and excited for our trip. Anyone have any advice or helpful suggestions? Anyone else's kid flat out don't want to go to Disneyland? Or is it just my kid?

 

[Butterfly123]

I have a son on the spectrum. He's a teen now and loves Disneyland, but our first trip was a little stressful at times. Would it help if you go over a "schedule" of your day so he knows what to expect? Have you shown him pictures of the hotel you are staying at? Is he packing a bag with his favorite things that he can keep with him? Drawing always relaxed my son, and we always had paper and crayons with us. He also really liked having a map in the parks so we could show him where we were, and where we were going. And we always added onto whatever we were doing "...if the line is short enough", or"...if the ride is running" so he would understand we couldn't control everything.

You know what comforts him best...I'm sure you'll have a very special trip.

 

[Princessmommymouse]

The schedule thing seems to have helped a bit. Pulled up our touring plan for tomorrow and pulled out a map a friend brought back for us and we sat down and talked about each step of the plan for tomorrow, where it was on the map, and what that ride/character/show/restaurant is like. He got excited everytime I mentioned music (he loves music) so I sang him some of the little songs (It's a small world, tiki room, a pirates life for me, etc).
He is still a bit apprehensive about the airplane ride, but I think he is excited enough about what comes after the plane ride that he might just go for it. Last thing I want to do is drag my child kicking and screaming onto an airplane with dozens of other people.

 

[cali_crafter]

Can you download some Disney music for him to listen to on the plane? It helps my dd to put on headphones and tune out.

 

[nikkislaght]

Hey there..

Can you make a quick boardmaker board for him.. this may also help

 

[Geemo]

Has he flown before?
Take something to help with ear problems on landing.
My grand-daughter has a painful time with each landing. She's nine now and knows to expect it. We've tried gum and the usual stuff, it hasn't helped much.

Re watch some of the YouTube videos of his favorite rides. Have music to listen to on the way to the airport and on the plane. If you have access to watching Disney videos on the plane would be a nice touch too.

Good luck in the morning. I hope all goes well for you.

Geemo

 

[Avery's mom]

I don't have any advice for you as my kid is always keen to go.....but just wanted to say - congratulations for still going on your trip and not letting your family situation prevent you from taking this vacation with your kids.

As a caregiver to my live-in, disabled mom, I feel for you and understand where you are coming from regarding feeling guilty and not having the sibling support you need. I am the oldest of 4 with no one close by to help even if they wanted to (which they don't).

I'm sure your son will be just fine once he gets to Disneyland - I do hope you have an absolutely fantastic first trip!!

 

[twinspirit]

My son is 11 and has issues like FASD, ODD, ADHD and RAD. he flat out said NO, he did NOT want to go. We tried...we begged, we tried to make deals with him. He did NOT want to go. It was REALLY hard to accept and justify leaving one behind. In the end, thats what we are doing. With advice of SW and the help of Grandma, he is staying home while we go. It wasnt easy, but I WILL admit, we are quite relieved. He would have put the holiday in jeopardy big time. Behaviours are quite bad, authoritative, and big time meltdowns. Not the same as your situation. You sound like you have hope for a complete family holiday! I hope he has an awesome time! )

First ever Disney trip Sept 19-28 2013 <3

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

Make a social story for him. Show pics of what is going to happen step by step and what he is expected to do each step of the way. Read it multiple times. Also, it take it with you!

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

FYI, you can google "social story airplane disneyland" and different stories will appear.

 

[Pinup Mommy]

First off Hugs, and Yay for taking your little ones to Disney!!


DD 3 (4 in Nov) is on the spectrum (mild) verbal and she loves Disney, but it takes a lot planning on my part.

If you have a tablet/ smart phone show him pictures of the rides that you plan on going on "next", maybe allow him to choose.

Use GAC, the stroller tends to be a "safe place" and he can wait in his while in line and feel safe

The baby center is great for potty breaks.

Be sure to take plenty of breaks.

A bag of fidget toys, usually I buy the little action figures so they are new to her and keep her entertained and engaged. Also great to use a rewards

A visual timer on a smart phone so they have an idea "how long"

Food is also a challenge so I use PECs on my phone. Really easy to get photos of the food from Yelp, it will also give you an idea of where your child may prefer to dine.

Happy Dapper Day

Edited to add: I am not sure of your child's age, so I am not sure if tips will apply, but I thought I read in another post they are toddler age.

 

[tanyaegangibson]

Can you download some Disney music for him to listen to on the plane? It helps my dd to put on headphones and tune out.

I know this is pricey, but this album is GREAT and has SO much music from the actual DL and DCA rides. (It's the only thing the kids want to hear in the car right now, as we're going to DL in October:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/disneyland-resort-official/id685045399

I've been following the thread about your mom, too, and I'm wishing you the most amazing trip. You sound like a wonderful person.

 

[Escape2Disney]

We were in your situation 12 years ago, so I can feel your pain! The suggestions so far have been great! We tend to start social stories a few weeks ahead of time, but they work in situations like this too. My girl has been an artist from birth, so having art supplies readily available has been essential. Whatever tends to soothe him should be close by as much as possible.

I also wanted to add that a set of noise cancelling headphones might be a good idea if he's sound sensitive. My DD hated things like ear buds and ear plugs, so these were as good as gold! At that stage, we also spent the first hour or so walking the park so I could show her where the 'quiet spots' were. If she got to the point where she shut down and couldn't talk, she'd just drag me to the closest quiet spot.

Another thing that worked for my daughter, was to present each trip as a challenge. "This trip, we're going to work on talking to Cast Members! If you ask 3 cast members a question each day, we'll get a treat on the way back to the room." It took practice and many, many years, but she eventually regarded the park as a second home.

If you have room in your suitcase, having pillows and blankets from home can be very soothing for some kids on the spectrum.

Firsts can be so hard with our special little ones! I hope they become as special to your little one as it has been for mine!