Check out "Birthdays without Pressure "website!!

[decaff38]

It is great and fab. ideas for celebrating birthdays without all the hoopla and $$$$$. My kids loved this!!

birthdayswithoutpressure.org

 

[Justsyd2]

It looks like a nice, informative website, but I question why anyone would be concerned about what kind of birthday party I decide to give for my child. Isn't that my decision?

Granted, I don't do "over-the-top," as they put it, but I certainly don't judge those who do.

 

[disneyjunkie]

It is great and fab. ideas for celebrating birthdays without all the hoopla and $$$$$. My kids loved this!!

birthdayswithoutpressure.org

That site is crazy.

No one is forcing parents to have big parties. I don't understand adults who can't say no. Who cares if everyone around you is doing something. If you can't afford it or don't want to do it, then don't.

It looks like a nice, informative website, but I question why anyone would be concerned about what kind of birthday party I decide to give for my child. Isn't that my decision?

Granted, I don't do "over-the-top," as they put it, but I certainly don't judge those who do.

My son has had both over the top and low parties. Each party was based on what we wanted to do and how much I was willing to spend, not on what the other parents were doing.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

It has some good thoughts, and I can agree to some extent, but at the same time, kids don't do that the parents do it to themselves. If the parents feel the need to out do the last party that is on them. I don't go for that myself. My kids love at home parties, in fact, (and this is a no-no on that website,) my DD8 turned 8 in January. Every year we have taken her somwhere for her party (bounce house, Chuck E Cheese, etc) because of the time of year. She said she wished she could have a water balloon, play in the sprinkler, hotdogs on the grill party her sister used to have (May b-day.) So we didn't have a party for her in January. We as a famly went to CEC for dinner that night, but her party is going to be July 14th instead. We will have hot dogs and ice cream and play outside and she is so excited about it. I agree sometimes they get out of hand but it's all the parents, the kids are just happy to have a day with their friends. I agree the treat bags are usually junk, I try to do something that a personalized bottle of bubbles or candy bar or M&M tubes myself, but if the kids get a treat bag of junk, ah, that's part of being a kid.

ETA- My oldest is turning 16 this year. I had already started planning a small party for her. She said she doesn't want it. She may change her mind, but she is clearly not feeling like she absolutely must have a big party.

 

[eliza61]

That site is crazy.

No one is forcing parents to have big parties. I don't understand adults who can't say no. Who cares if everyone around you is doing something. If you can't afford it or don't want to do it, then don't.





.

My standard disclaimer: I am 50 so I'm older, also I'm having gift issues from greedy relatives.

I have never understood this new idea of having birthday parties that rival state celebrations. I know parents who have gone into 10,000 debt for a daughters sweet 16. The kid is turning 16! She did not win the nobel prize for Physics. We celebrate mediocracy and can't understand why our kids have "entitlement" issues.
I have one coworker who's family has a rule of "homemade" birthday gifts. Awesome.
Does anyone simply have a cake and invite the grandparents over anymore? LOL

The thing that pisses me off is that they expect the guest then to drop big bucks on the kid for a gift.

 

[dismom24]

Our parties seem to get a little bigger every year, but never crazy extravagant. This year I decided to set a new example on my birthday - not really to change their minds, but just to show a different aspect. I told my kids I only wanted them to take the money they could afford for a gift (no borrowing from daddy) and give it to a charity that made them think of me and then write me a letter telling me why they chose their charity.
DH struggled with this and even tried to get them to donate more, but they understood the rules. I told him he could buy a gift because he is a natural giver and it would have been cruel to not let him give. The kids amazed me DD(8) gave to an organiztion that collects money for babies - because I love babies, DS (8) gave to an organization that gives food to the poor, because I always make sure they eat. DS(17) said he really enjoyed this and thought it was a great idea - he gave to an organization that provide music instruments to lower income faimlies, because music changes lives.

 

[penn19]

My standard disclaimer: I am 50 so I'm older, also I'm having gift issues from greedy relatives.

I have never understood this new idea of having birthday parties that rival state celebrations. I know parents who have gone into 10,000 debt for a daughters sweet 16. The kid is turning 16! She did not win the nobel prize for Physics. We celebrate mediocracy and can't understand why our kids have "entitlement" issues.
I have one coworker who's family has a rule of "homemade" birthday gifts. Awesome.
Does anyone simply have a cake and invite the grandparents over anymore? LOL

The thing that pisses me off is that they expect the guest then to drop big bucks on the kid for a gift.

I SO agree with you on this. We celebrate every little thing and in a big way and then we wonder, "hmmm, how come kids are so mean to one another?" Around here, BIG problem with that. We feed their little minds that you must be better than the kid over there because look at what we do for you or look at how much smarter/better at sports/prettier (fill in the blank) you are.

 

[eliza61]

Our parties seem to get a little bigger every year, but never crazy extravagant. This year I decided to set a new example on my birthday - not really to change their minds, but just to show a different aspect. I told my kids I only wanted them to take the money they could afford for a gift (no borrowing from daddy) and give it to a charity that made them think of me and then write me a letter telling me why they chose their charity.
DH struggled with this and even tried to get them to donate more, but they understood the rules. I told him he could buy a gift because he is a natural giver and it would have been cruel to not let him give. The kids amazed me DD(8) gave to an organiztion that collects money for babies - because I love babies, DS (8) gave to an organization that gives food to the poor, because I always make sure they eat. DS(17) said he really enjoyed this and thought it was a great idea - he gave to an organization that provide music instruments to lower income faimlies, because music changes lives.

Kids will amaze you. I always think this stuff is more for the parents than the kids. If you watch little ones playing together, you find that they are really compassionate little creatures. We (adults) are the ones who turn them into grubby little "mine, mine, mine" monsters.

Last year was a banner year for my relatives and milking people with gifts. It started with my neice who got married last year, the little witch had the nerve to send me a invitation to the shower with instructions on how to order the gift THAT SHE PICKED OUT FOR ME TO BUY!
when I called her mom (my sil) they actually defended this stupidity by saying this was to ensure she got exactly what she wanted and didn't have to return unwanted items. Also she knew I could afford it because dh & I were both working with a nice income.

My response can not be posted on this forum.

 

[fakereadhed]

OP thanks for sharing the site. I'm sure you didn't see a trainwreck coming when you posted it!

I can see both sides. We have done big parties and laid back ones. We did CEC for DS last year without a party package and my friend was shocked that I didn't do goody bags. I figured they were getting tokens and prizes so it would just be extra junk. We asked for no presents but only one person did what we asked and they were really uncomfortable when they saw the pile of gifts.

I have also done backyard parties for my DD with an Aug bday and had moms complain that the kids were not doing enough organized games. One was a camping theme and we had several tents set up and a faux campfire and the kids were having so much fun that I let the games go. That was also the party where they went "fishing" in the kiddy pool and all brought home goldfish. Not one of my most popular ideas. All the fish were dead inside of a week and the kids were crushed. Live and learn!

 

[indimom]

is my family the only one that doesn't even have parties for birthdays?
Sure the kids get a gift and cake or whatever they want at dinner, but we don't even invite over the grandparents...
We had a party for their First Birthday with the grands, aunts and uncles. (Still just dinner at the house with cake and ice cream, nothing special.) Over the years since then, DD had one daytime party with friends that included games and goodie bags. DS had one bowling party with friends.
Other than that, they might invite a couple friends for the night, like DS10 did last week. We went out for pizza, had ice cream cake and let them pig out on chips and pop. They ran around the house all night playing tag and hide and seek, Nerf war, whatever. Had pancakes for breakfast and played until their parents came.
Am I missing something??

To the OP, sorry if I sound critical. This really wasn't aimed at you, but I just realized it might come across that way. I love when I find websites that give me unique and inexpensive ideas for my day care kids, etc. So I do get that. I guess I'm just feeling a little defensive since I'm so far at the other end of the spectrum.

 

[MollyAnna]

Last year was a banner year for my relatives and milking people with gifts. It started with my neice who got married last year, the little witch had the nerve to send me a invitation to the shower with instructions on how to order the gift THAT SHE PICKED OUT FOR ME TO BUY!

Wow. That is the worst shower invitation story I have ever heard. I thought it was bad when I got an invitation with a request for cash instead of gifts, but this takes the cake!!!

We always do a home slumber party for the girls, and camp-out in the yard for the boys. Nothing fancy, I make plenty of food and hand out popcorn and snacks. The big hit at my daughters' party was the Grape and Orange Crush I had bought in the glass bottle. It really doesn't take much to please my kids!

 

[NVDisMom]

Some years we do nothing more than make their favorite dinner and have cake at home. Other years we go someplace instead of having a party (my personal fav now that they are older) and other years we've done parties (always at home). Our at home parties, until last year's spa party, always included family groups and were themed for everyone. We did a hawaiian luau, another year it was pirates, another Harry Potter. We all dressed up, made themed food and drinks, and had good old cheap fun. At the luau we had a fire pit and roasted marshmallows with pineapple chunks. At the pirates party we had a scavenger hunt and ended up having a gold coin(plastic!) flinging war! At the Harry Potter party we sorted into houses, had potions class, and visited Hogsmeade for butter beers and sweet treats. Creativity goes so much further than spending a lot of money. We are known for our cool themed parties amongst our friends. We live to entertain, but I get creative, spend a lot of time planning and prepping, and make it a point to spend as little money as possible. But, again, we don't do it every year and we certainly do not believe in piling on debt. We plan on going somewhere for both the girls' b-days this year instead of doing parties. We do what pleases us and the kids, not what will please our friends, family and neighbors.

 

[taximomfor4]

is my family the only one that doesn't even have parties for birthdays?
Sure the kids get a gift and cake or whatever they want at dinner, but we don't even invite over the grandparents...
We had a party for their First Birthday with the grands, aunts and uncles. (Still just dinner at the house with cake and ice cream, nothing special.) Over the years since then, DD had one daytime party with friends that included games and goodie bags. DS had one bowling party with friends.
Other than that, they might invite a couple friends for the night, like DS10 did last week. We went out for pizza, had ice cream cake and let them pig out on chips and pop. They ran around the house all night playing tag and hide and seek, Nerf war, whatever. Had pancakes for breakfast and played until their parents came.
Am I missing something??

To the OP, sorry if I sound critical. This really wasn't aimed at you, but I just realized it might come across that way. I love when I find websites that give me unique and inexpensive ideas for my day care kids, etc. So I do get that. I guess I'm just feeling a little defensive since I'm so far at the other end of the spectrum.

You aren't the only one. I let my kids choose either a party (reasonable, though, like $125 or less) OR a gift. Never EVER both.

 

[ceecee]

My standard disclaimer: I am 50 so I'm older, also I'm having gift issues from greedy relatives.

I have never understood this new idea of having birthday parties that rival state celebrations. I know parents who have gone into 10,000 debt for a daughters sweet 16. The kid is turning 16! She did not win the nobel prize for Physics. We celebrate mediocracy and can't understand why our kids have "entitlement" issues.
I have one coworker who's family has a rule of "homemade" birthday gifts. Awesome.
Does anyone simply have a cake and invite the grandparents over anymore? LOL

The thing that pisses me off is that they expect the guest then to drop big bucks on the kid for a gift.

Parties have gotten out of hand....there's "13" "16" Middle School, HS and college Graduation. I've even heard of someone having a "going away to college" shower! This is after a grad party. That is just asking for gifts. I would be too embarrassed! Let's not forget Housewarming parties and baby showers for all 5 kids!

 

[allison443]

Does anyone else think this thread could become a contest of who can do the least amount for their kids birthday?

I agree with the idea that some parties are IN MY OPINION over the top. So what, I don't let that influence what we choose to do for our family. I mean, everything from vacations, what kind of house or car you have, what kind of clothes you buy, varies from family to family. If parents can't stand up to peer pressure about birthday parties, they are in for a tough road!

As for the website, it seemed to me like these parents needed a support group so they wouldn't feel bad saying no to their kids. They want everyone else to say no, too. So instead of having peer pressure to have a big party, there is peer pressure to have a low key party so their kids don't feel bad. I don't get it. Everyone should do what they think is right for their family.

 

[allison443]

You aren't the only one. I let my kids choose either a party (reasonable, though, like $125 or less) OR a gift. Never EVER both.

You are doing what works best for your family. That is what everyone should do

I would never judge someone for their decision, and hopefully no one would judge someone who gives both a gift and a party.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I don't think there is anything wrong with having parties no matter how big or small they may be. Expecting people to bring lavish gifts to the party is wrong.


My family and friends will celebrate anything and invite everyone. We never expect gifts. (Unless it's a shower). And yes we celebrate all babies, not just the first born.

 

[taximomfor4]

Does anyone else think this thread could become a contest of who can do the least amount for their kids birthday?

I guess it COULD, although I hope not. We just do what we like, and the kids haven't ever complained. We still have a cake, and the birthday child chooses dinner (sometimes something I cook, sometimes a restaurant). And at the restaurant, if the birthday kid gets a freebie dessert, I do not buy all the other kids dessert too. (We have that cake waiting at home, lol).

Some family members do huge birthday bashes for their kids. We think that's great, they like their parties.

So no, I hope this doesn't turn into a do-the-least thread. We do our thing, others do theirs. Our kids enjoy their birthday, and the partiers enjoy theirs.

 

[allison443]

I guess it COULD, although I hope not. We just do what we like, and the kids haven't ever complained. We still have a cake, and the birthday child chooses dinner (sometimes something I cook, sometimes a restaurant). And at the restaurant, if the birthday kid gets a freebie dessert, I do not buy all the other kids dessert too. (We have that cake waiting at home, lol).

Some family members do huge birthday bashes for their kids. We think that's great, they like their parties.

So no, I hope this doesn't turn into a do-the-least thread. We do our thing, others do theirs. Our kids enjoy their birthday, and the partiers enjoy theirs.

 

[Swimalie]

Our parties seem to get a little bigger every year, but never crazy extravagant. This year I decided to set a new example on my birthday - not really to change their minds, but just to show a different aspect. I told my kids I only wanted them to take the money they could afford for a gift (no borrowing from daddy) and give it to a charity that made them think of me and then write me a letter telling me why they chose their charity.
DH struggled with this and even tried to get them to donate more, but they understood the rules. I told him he could buy a gift because he is a natural giver and it would have been cruel to not let him give. The kids amazed me DD(8) gave to an organiztion that collects money for babies - because I love babies, DS (8) gave to an organization that gives food to the poor, because I always make sure they eat. DS(17) said he really enjoyed this and thought it was a great idea - he gave to an organization that provide music instruments to lower income faimlies, because music changes lives.

I love this idea! Your kids did great, too.

My son will turn 5 while at Disney this month. So we didn't think we were going to have a party for him but I then told him he could have 5 friends over for pizza and cake. Now we're up to 10 kids Normally I do total theme parties (last year- pirate with homemade invitations, each kid got a bandana, patch - treasure hunt, other games, etc) But this year it's pizza, cake and our moon bounce will be set up. I am doing favors and I don't like the typical things that are given out either. I go for things like Crayola crayons, notepads, Wiki Stix, etc. This year, I made pizza slice shaped invitations. Each one had 3 red circles on with "What", "When" and "Where" stamped on and under the red circles the information was written. All the favors will be food related - like bubbles that look like ice cream, in popcorn boxes, etc. But let me tell you, it has been hard not to go overboard this year. Normally I would have spent a lot more but I have to remember that we're doing a big birthday for him at Disney this year.