keenercam
Loves Mickey!
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2001
Firm holiday party tonight so I have to be careful today.
B: coffee w/creamer (1)
L: bagel w/tiny bit of cream cheese (didn't have time to eat it for Bfast) (7)
Lots of water to hold me over until the party. I don't know what the menu is, but I know there is salad. I am hoping for lots of protein and strength to avoid pasta and other carbs.
Did 60 minutes on the bike last night, mostly because I was lazy and wanted to read a book and not put out much effort. But it was also good to do because I didn't want to push the issue with my foot and I'd been in heels all day. I did almost 12 miles in 60 minutes and burned over 300 calories. Yeah, I think that will cover the cookie and some of the pretzels, nuts & chips I "grazed" on last night. That is not a good mindset.
I am feeling pretty stressed about everything that is going on and that is always a real trigger for me with food. I rationalize it when I eat though, and tell myself I have exercised and burned off calories and many times, my stomach is actually "growling" even right after I eat. That is a very strange phenomenon. I'd like to get back into the habit of waiting 15 minutes to eat whatever it is that I want and then deciding anew whether I want it.
The 1/2 marathon is 3 weeks from Saturday. There is no way I will be at my weight goal by then, but I am determined not to gain before I step off that start line. It is interesting to me how I have moments of great optimism and confidence and other moments of pessimism and despair. I've never undertaken a goal that required me to "go the distance". College and grad school just didn't seem to have the same intensity and importance to me as this journey has had. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe because everyone always thought I was smart and that achieving my career objective wasn't such a huge challenge. But I think that this is something so out of character for me, something physical rather than cerebral. I even find myself minimizing the event itself, saying I am "just walking" it. Intellectually, I know it is not an easy task and I know how hard I have worked to train to the required pace and I know the distance is significant. But that negative little voice keeps saying "it's not like its the full marathon" and "it's not like you are running it." Not sure if my brain is playing these little tricks so that I will be less intimidated or if I am ridiculing how important this is to me. All I know is that I have become so dependent on the positive vibes of the training thread and the confidence everyone expresses toward me, as well as the overall attitude that what we are undertaking is big and the accomplishment will be significant. I just have to work to keep a positive attitude and not to slack off on the training, and maybe that just requires that I not minimize this.
Hopefully, 4 weeks from now, it will all be a very happy memory of a great experience and great accomplishment. I cannot even fathom the alternative.
B: coffee w/creamer (1)
L: bagel w/tiny bit of cream cheese (didn't have time to eat it for Bfast) (7)
Lots of water to hold me over until the party. I don't know what the menu is, but I know there is salad. I am hoping for lots of protein and strength to avoid pasta and other carbs.
Did 60 minutes on the bike last night, mostly because I was lazy and wanted to read a book and not put out much effort. But it was also good to do because I didn't want to push the issue with my foot and I'd been in heels all day. I did almost 12 miles in 60 minutes and burned over 300 calories. Yeah, I think that will cover the cookie and some of the pretzels, nuts & chips I "grazed" on last night. That is not a good mindset.
I am feeling pretty stressed about everything that is going on and that is always a real trigger for me with food. I rationalize it when I eat though, and tell myself I have exercised and burned off calories and many times, my stomach is actually "growling" even right after I eat. That is a very strange phenomenon. I'd like to get back into the habit of waiting 15 minutes to eat whatever it is that I want and then deciding anew whether I want it.
The 1/2 marathon is 3 weeks from Saturday. There is no way I will be at my weight goal by then, but I am determined not to gain before I step off that start line. It is interesting to me how I have moments of great optimism and confidence and other moments of pessimism and despair. I've never undertaken a goal that required me to "go the distance". College and grad school just didn't seem to have the same intensity and importance to me as this journey has had. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe because everyone always thought I was smart and that achieving my career objective wasn't such a huge challenge. But I think that this is something so out of character for me, something physical rather than cerebral. I even find myself minimizing the event itself, saying I am "just walking" it. Intellectually, I know it is not an easy task and I know how hard I have worked to train to the required pace and I know the distance is significant. But that negative little voice keeps saying "it's not like its the full marathon" and "it's not like you are running it." Not sure if my brain is playing these little tricks so that I will be less intimidated or if I am ridiculing how important this is to me. All I know is that I have become so dependent on the positive vibes of the training thread and the confidence everyone expresses toward me, as well as the overall attitude that what we are undertaking is big and the accomplishment will be significant. I just have to work to keep a positive attitude and not to slack off on the training, and maybe that just requires that I not minimize this.
Hopefully, 4 weeks from now, it will all be a very happy memory of a great experience and great accomplishment. I cannot even fathom the alternative.
your way. The holidays are such an amazing time, but they can be a difficult time too. Please be sure to take extra-special, good care of you at this time. We are here for you, Cam. 
May your holidays be filled with warmth, laughter, and wonderful memories. Take care, sweetie! 
I tried to make it funny and exciting, but I had a horrible, horrible cold when I wrote it so it may have fallen a bit flat. 
I know that you are going to do a great job, Cam! 
)
