C-Section scheduled, feeling nervous (updated, post 74)

[Dani C]

A bit of advice based on my experience, you know your body and what it is telling you better than anyone else. Never think that your better judgment is wrong just because you may not have a medical degree or license.

When I had my C, the IV was making me sick. I told my nurses and was ignored until I directly told them to call my doctor and ask to have it removed. They tried to put me off until I told them either they were taking it out or I was. I won and soon felt much better. Maybe I'm not an ideal patient, but doctors and nurses who ignore your fears and instincts aren't great medical professionals either.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

OP,

Please understand, those of us who appear "anti-csection" are not so- but we have done our research. What other posters don't realize is that the World Health Organization recommends a c-section rate of 15% (or lower) for a country to have the best outcomes for mother and baby.

The US c-section rate is currently over 30%..so, news flash to posters who are telling her to just trust her doctor...there are MANY unnecessary c-sections performed on women each day who listen to doctors who make decisions that are not evidence based. To those of us who have done the research...hearing the "big baby" scare (a big reason for unnecessary surgery) without a formal diagnosis is a huge red flag. So, just like I would to a best friend, I think OP may want to know that it may be in her best interest to look into things a bit more. Since when was education a bad thing?


And OP, if you choose a c-section, more power to you. It is about your choice, based on the best research (and NOT a false assumption by your doctor) for you and your baby to have the best outcome possible.

Funny you think you're the only one who's done any research.

 

[robndani]

I had a scheduled c-section with my twins 4 years ago. They were both well over 7 lbs! Recovery was hard for me, but my sister in law had two and was out of the hospital in 2 days with each one! She had no problems at all! I would try to focus on what come after! . Driving to the hospital, changing into the gown and waiting are all such a blur to me now!!!!

 

[SweetMissy]

Get a 2nd opinion..preferably by a midwife. Doctors are c-section happy because they get paid more for surgery and it's a controlled birth...gets them home in time for supper. There's no way to know by looking at someone that their hips can't birth a baby. In MOST cases (except those moms in India who have 16lbs babies, lol), your body will grow a baby it can birth. Don't let a doctor scare you into going under the knife. I have 3 kids...all by c-section because I started out listening to every word my doctor said. Research research research...does a body good. Good luck!

 

[laura3773]

Get a 2nd opinion..preferably by a midwife. Doctors are c-section happy because they get paid more for surgery and it's a controlled birth...gets them home in time for supper. There's no way to know by looking at someone that their hips can't birth a baby. In MOST cases (except those moms in India who have 16lbs babies, lol), your body will grow a baby it can birth. Don't let a doctor scare you into going under the knife. I have 3 kids...all by c-section because I started out listening to every word my doctor said. Research research research...does a body good. Good luck!

Oh for heaven's sake. It's so frustrating to read this. My doctor was at the hospital off and on all day and all night with me during my labor, which went for well over 24 hours with 3 hours of pushing that she was present for. She was at her OB practice the rest of the day, and the next day. She did not press me to have a c-section so she could "go home for dinner" (or heck, even to go home for bed) and I think it's rather offensive to say that people who go to school for 8 years and deeply in to debt to be trained to HELP people are trying to force major surgery on unsuspecting women in order to help their schedules (and no, I am not a doctor. Or related to a doctor). Not to mention, it probably wouldn't work because I highly doubt that OPs OB has only 1 patient of her whole practice who would be delivering that day. Women grow babies too big all the time - that's why SO MANY WOMEN died in childbirth throughout history. Midwives are all well and good for low-risk women (assuming they have actual training and licenses and malpractice insurance, which in the US is a BIG assumption) but if OP is having late-term ultrasounds she is probably NOT a low-risk mother. Research is well and good, but using Dr Google is not the same as research. Not all sources are created equal.

 

[DSNY4ever]

Is this your first baby? Personally, I would never agree to scheduling a C-section if it was only for concern of my pelvic size based on exam and the baby's size on ultrasound. Ultrasound measurements are estimates and pelvic exams are subjective. I don't know if there is more to the story, but that it my first response based on the info you have written.

I have to agree with this!!!! I haven't read all the replies, but please do not just let a doctor talk you into this based on "a narrow birth canal". I hope there is more to it than this because our bodies are made to do this- and we can! You will have the best chance if you are willing to give it a try without drugs because epidurals and other meds can slow things down and increase your chances of potentially needing a C-section. I would do some more research and get a second opinion from another OBGYN because I have friends that were told this, then switched doctors and had their babies the old fashioned way perfectly fine.

Good luck, I hope you figure our whatever is best for you. And best of luck with your new little bundle of joy- no matter how it ends up getting here.

 

[Jedimom]

Women grow babies too big all the time - that's why SO MANY WOMEN died in childbirth throughout history.

That's not even remotely historically accurate.

 

[nadira36]

36 years ago, I was born by c-section because my mom had a narrow birth canal. Today, my doctor mentioned that my pelvis is narrow, despite by wide hips, and that he doesn't think I can deliver my baby. Big babies run on both sides of our families and they believe my baby is over 9 pounds, based on ultra sounds and him feeling the baby. She definitely seems like a big one.

I'm scheduled for a c-section in a week and am feeling pretty nervous. Any advice? Stories to share? I'm pooh-sized - how much worse will it be for me? I'm so excited and I kinda expected needing a c-section, based on what's happened in my family, but I can't help but be scared.

HUGS mama! This sounds so tough to be faced with! I have no advice for preparing for a cesarian birth, nor dealing with the specific anxiety related to that.

I hope you've found something in here to help you move forward. And that you have help for after baby arrives.

 

[Hannathy]

First my DR got paid the same no matter how it was born.

Second women can and do "grow" babies they can't deliver.

OP are you having a CT done not just an ultrasound? I had a CT done with my son and it was determined his head would not fit thru me and we did a planned C.

Best decision I ever made. My DD was born ******lly and could have died or been paralyzed. She was stuck in the birth canal and if he hadn't got her out with forceps after breaking her collar bones he would have had to push her back into the uterus and do a C. Pushing a baby back up into the uterus has a very high chance of causing permanent paralysis from compression of the spinal nerves and cord. Plus then puts the mother at risk with an emergency C.

My recovery after my C was easier and better than my recovery from my horrible standard birth.

Hopefully you did your research when you picked your DR, You have been trusting them with your life and your baby's life the whole pregnancy, why start not believing them now ?

Ask for more testing to more definitively measure you and the baby. Then ask yourself if you trust your DR or not and if the answer is no then why have you stayed with them.

And remember your DR is seeing you in person and your history not just talking on the internet.

 

[AmyBWV99]

I've had 4 my first was an emergency and then 3 repeats. The first is the only one where you can actually recover with some peace after that there's toddlers, preschoolers, etc wanting mom time too. Take advantage of any and all help. Don't let people freak you out. It's not all that horrid. My best advice from experience x4 is watch your med distribution the RNs won't come in every 4-6 hours on the dot if you don't ask but don't get outside that 6 hour window it's much easier to manage pain before it takes hold then it's too late and you're suffering for an hour to get back on top of it.

Congrats and good luck!

 

[branv]

I had a csection in September. I was 40, plus size, 10 days overdue, predicted to have a large baby. Good health, no signs of impending labor, but a stint in the hospital for observation for a brief fetal heartbeat crash during monitoring. So we finally scheduled an induction. As soon as I arrived and was hooked up to monitors, there was another heart rate decline. Then throughout the night a few decelerations. The pitocin and breaking my water never helped me beyond 3 cm, so with the decelerations we moved forward to csection. Baby had a nucal cord.

Honestly, I had an amazing experience. My recovery went awesomely. DS ended up in the NICU on day 3 for 48 hrs b/c of blue mouth (turned out to be nothing.. Just a thin skin baby!), and I actually credit that with my easy recovery. I refused to stay in my room, and DH and I took 2 hour shifts to stay with him. I missed my pain meds disbursements often, in fact. Walking around really really helped. Also, the first time they make you stand, don't hunch over. Very very slowly make yourself stand up straight. It stings like a holy mother at first, but it will really help avoid things getting stiff, which hurts more long term. I am a huge gigantic wuss for pain, but I thought my just four hours of back contractions were way more painful than my csection recovery ever was.

My other tip, however, is to drink drink drink that water!! I ended up retaining so much water from the IV that my feet were... not exaggerating... Shrek feet. Felt like the skin was so tight it was going to burst. DS was 7.5 lbs and I came home only 5 lbs lighter due to the fluid (after a week home I lost 15 more pounds!)

Best of luck to you.

 

[MSLRAC]

I had 3 c-sections and each one went great and I have no complaints at all. Things moved quickly once my dr got started but there was no rush, my DH was there talking with me the whole time, and just as soon as each kid was checked out, they were brought over to me and sat with DH until we were ready to roll out. All three left the OR in my arms and were in recovery with me and DH. They went to the room in my arms and we stayed 4 days each time.

I was up and walking within a few hours of getting to the room and that really did help. Sure it hurt at first but after the initial 'holy mother of..." moment passed, it was no big deal. A warm shower that first night also really helped. Listen to your body when it comes to food. I was starving after my oldest but nauseous after my middle one. Go with what your body is telling you. My recovery went smooth and I was doing great and back to my old self by a week out.

Good luck and I wish you a safe delivery, speedy recovery, and a healthy baby!

 

[DisneyParkLover]

Please arm yourself with information before having a C-section. As a former NICU nurse this is a subject near and dear to me. #1. Studies have shown that it is extremely rare for a mother to be carrying a baby that will not fit through her pelvis. #2. Sizing can also be wrong. I was told to prepare for a 10 lb baby and he was less than 8 lbs. #3. A scheduled C-section is NEVER recommended for this reason by ACOG and those are the standards your OB should be going by. #4. Most importantly, a C-section is a MAJOR surgery that carries significantly higher risks for mother and child.

A C-section is a wonderful thing that can save lives in the necessary situations, but it is frequently abused because it easier for the OB. The risks associated with it do not outweigh the benefits in most situations (including yours), which is why the governing bodies recommend against it.

 

[tinkerbesh]

I know it's easy to say but hard to do, but... don't worry! A week from now you are going to meet your precious baby and all of this anxiety will melt away. <3

I was planning an all-natural hypnobirth, and my OB was completely supportive. But when DS was breech (and nothing I did could get him turned), we both decided a C-section would be the best option for me. (Upside- she thinks I'm a great candidate for a VBAC next time.) Hopefully you feel very comfortable with your OB -- that's the first most important thing. I had such anxiety about scheduling my C-section also, but once I finally accepted it and placed my trust in my OB, I felt at least a little better. I also talked through all my wishes with her, and she met every single one of them.

So think through your birth plan wishes and share them with your OB. For example- I was terrified of the OR (had already had several abdominal surgeries in the past & some PTSD from them). So I asked that they turn off all the sound on the beeping machines -- and they said no problem- they didn't need to hear any of the beeps. It made a HUGE difference. Also, they had on the radio & asked if there was anything in particular I wanted to listen to.

Another help-- I didn't want to be separated from the baby for any more than was absolutely necessary. So they brought DS over to me (after clearing his breathing & cleaning the poop off him -- first thing he did was poop on my OB, lol) and he was able to lay on my shoulder/neck/chest for the entire rest of the surgery while they sewed me up. He only left moments before I left the OR. And that made the BIGGEST difference! I was so nervous I was shaking horribly at the beginning of the surgery, but the baby is actually born very quickly (focus on that!) - and as soon as I heard him cry, I was able to refocus on that, and as soon as he was with me - touching me & DH - that was my focus, and really my memories of the entire rest of the time were of that bonding experience and of taking pictures of all of us for the rest of the 40 minutes or so.

A tip-- they cauterize you as they go along, and it smells...horrendous...if you've never smelled burning flesh before, there's really no way to describe it. But the anesthesia tech opened up some alcohol wipes and held them under my nose (or maybe it was DH who held them, I forget) and that took care of getting rid of the smell.

If you know anything about meditation, relaxation, visualization - I highly recommend using those to help calm your nerves and get you through what you are feeling. I found all my hypnobirth training helped me, even with this opposite type of birth -- being able to breathe myself into a peaceful place.

I think everybody else covered all the other important stuff- staying on top of meds, getting up and moving asap, etc.

But I strongly recommend thinking through what you want for this experience-- that will give you some bits of control. (There are tons of sample C-section birth plans online.) And hopefully your doc / hospital team can help you get as much of what you want as possible.

Best of luck & congratulations!

PS- one last tip that I got from my doula (who was also a great help- they let her in with my DH for the whole thing, and then she was able to stay with me while DH went with DS to the nursery for some tests briefly after birth)-- hormones change in a HUGE way once your milk comes in (about 3 days after), and for lots of women it can be a bit of a tailspin. So if you feel you start having more of a hard time at that point, just know that it is temporary and that there's a great biological reason for it-- your body is changing to a lactating woman. But it will pass. (I started crying hysterically and frequently -- many times a day -- and it lasted for over a week, maybe 2...but it definitely passed. )

PPS- Everyone told me to be aware that I would feel pressure and tugging, so I knew that going in. But what I didn't understand was how intense that could be. I thought it would be general sensations in the surrounding areas, but I really felt like I could feel a lot of it in the actual locations they were pulling/tugging...BUT don't worry-- there is NO pain from it. So don't be scared if you feel a lot of strange sensations- they will make sure you're not feeling any pain before they get started.

And finally (PPPS?), I'm somewhat pooh-sized, too. Have been slightly different sizes for each surgery I've had, but like some previous posters have said- the only thing I noticed that made a difference in recovery was when I got up sooner and moved around more (within reason) like I did with the C-section, I recovered MUCH faster.

 

[Mrs. Bob Loblaw]

Thank you for all the replies and information. I tried talking to my doctor tonight - I was going to ask first about the c-section (glue vs sutures vs staples), because most women I've talked to have said go with glue or sutures, that staples are more likely to cause problems. He told me because I'm large, I have to have staples, no options. He also told me my surgery will be higher up, but didn't show me where. I tried asking more questions and he told me to follow him down the hall. When we got to his office, I was basically dismissed. He took maybe 2-3 minutes to talk about the c-section at my appointment on Monday and maybe 2 minutes with me today. I felt so frustrated and shocked, I kinda froze and never got any other questions out. I put a call in to the office tonight saying I need to speak with him in the morning (he's only open from 8-12 tomorrow).

I'm not sure if I really need a c-section. It rings likely, since I heard nearly the same words as my mom and she said there was no way she could have delivered my brother (less than 8 pounds at birth).

However, I've seen medical studies that say staples are more likely to result in infections and in the wound separating, regardless of BMI. That he wouldn't even take the time to fully listen to me about this is so frustrating and now I feel like I'm stuck with him no matter what. I just began a new job this year, so I have 7 days of sick time for my maternity leave, my husband and I closed on a house 2 weeks before getting pregnant and the house has needed some serious money put into it, and our insurance won't cover a different doctor at this point without it costing a lot of money. I feel like I have no choices and it really sucks.

If he wouldn't talk to me about the staple issue, I can't imagine how he'll react when I mention the possibility of v-delivery. That is, if I can get in touch with him tomorrow.

 

[nadira36]

Thank you for all the replies and information. I tried talking to my doctor tonight - I was going to ask first about the c-section (glue vs sutures vs staples), because most women I've talked to have said go with glue or sutures, that staples are more likely to cause problems. He told me because I'm large, I have to have staples, no options. He also told me my surgery will be higher up, but didn't show me where. I tried asking more questions and he told me to follow him down the hall. When we got to his office, I was basically dismissed. He took maybe 2-3 minutes to talk about the c-section at my appointment on Monday and maybe 2 minutes with me today. I felt so frustrated and shocked, I kinda froze and never got any other questions out. I put a call in to the office tonight saying I need to speak with him in the morning (he's only open from 8-12 tomorrow).

I'm not sure if I really need a c-section. It rings likely, since I heard nearly the same words as my mom and she said there was no way she could have delivered my brother (less than 8 pounds at birth).

However, I've seen medical studies that say staples are more likely to result in infections and in the wound separating, regardless of BMI. That he wouldn't even take the time to fully listen to me about this is so frustrating and now I feel like I'm stuck with him no matter what. I just began a new job this year, so I have 7 days of sick time for my maternity leave, my husband and I closed on a house 2 weeks before getting pregnant and the house has needed some serious money put into it, and our insurance won't cover a different doctor at this point without it costing a lot of money. I feel like I have no choices and it really sucks.

If he wouldn't talk to me about the staple issue, I can't imagine how he'll react when I mention the possibility of v-delivery. That is, if I can get in touch with him tomorrow.

That sounds so frustrating!


I don't live in the states so can't give advice in any capacity on what to do.

Here, in Canada, I'd say run, don't walk, away from that Dr and don't look back. But here it's not a big deal to just go to a different doctor, or just walk into a hospital in labour. In the states it's different and I get that.

There are reasons why a woman may need a c-section with out ever even going into labour. It sounds to me like your Dr made up his mind a long time ago and doesn't want to talk about it.

At this point if you can't change Drs then you're likely going to have whatever he decides no matter whether it's supported by research or not.

As for BMI - I know several women who are well over 250# that have had non-medicated ******l births. The only pooh sized woman I know who had a cesarean birth without trial of labour first did so because of other reasons that had nothing to do with size. Her incision was still lower, however several people were int he room to lift her and up and out of the way while the Dr cut and pull baby out. This did pose increased risk of infection post-op hover as her own skin could have created problems - but she was a nurse with post-op experience so was able to do what needed to be done to heal well.

As many other ladies on here have said, what your doctor told you about pelvis size isn't true - without several tests, there's no way to know unless you have a baby.

First - for your mom - assuming you're born 80's or earlier - was likely on her back the entire time, possibly with her legs up in stirrups - this closes the pelvic opening preventing baby from coming through. Being up right as much as possible, walking around helps open things up and allows baby to pass through the birth canal easier.

are there horror stories? Yes. But most of the time those are due to a doctor not knowing enough about labour positions to allow a mom to move and allow baby to rotate. Also it's often due to women with epidurals being in bed laying down.

There are many factors. And some doctors DO actually 'teach women a lesson' for wanting a ******l birth and will do things to purposefully lead them to a c-section. And then swoop in and say 'I told you so' in one way or another. Having worked close to L&D - with the OBs coming over to talk to us a lot - I've personally seen it and it sucks. With those doctors, no matter what you're getting a section. In those cases it is 'safer' to just go with the section from the start rather than put yourself through the list of interventions and increased complications (that would result from a doctor fighting against a vag birth during labour).

All of that being said - my first I was induced and on IV antibiotics, and not progressing, and having multiple checks, and water broke, and, and, and - prepped for a section - but asked for a shower first - in the span of that 15 min shower I went into labour - and was able to have my baby before they cut me open.

But I'd also spent the previous 9 months prepping for a natural no intervention birth. I was prepared for pain management without drugs. B/c the only reason they took so long to go the section route was b/c I refused the epidural - which meant general anesthetic (which in a surgery has increased risk vs epidural).

Anyhow - I'm so sorry you're faced with this situation. I wish I could change it for you. But all I can do is offer a virtual hug and sending you strength.

 

[Jerzetta]

I loved my unexpected c section. Blood pressure was to high and had cssection a few hrs later. It was a piece of cake. Like other posters said walk. My motivation was my baby was in Nicu so fist day was wheel haired and 2nd day on walked to her for touch times. Each day got easier. I remember timing the walk to the Nicu with a walker. I had to make it to the tough times so was motivated to walk. Recovery was perfect and I was not in the best shape during pregnancy.

 

[JediBonas]

I'm sorry about the frustrating experience with your OB . Honestly, if he's been good and trustworthy so far I'd trust his judgement but that sucks that he just dismissed you like that. I ended up with staples instead of glue (I'm small but had twins and my skin was too thinned out for the glue or something). It wasn't bad, staples came out before I left the hospital. The scar ended up a keloid and I wear a silicon sheet over it but I don't know if that was due to the staples or just bad luck.

 

[jimandami]

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience trying to ask you doctor questions...I get that he is busy but he should take the time to talk to you! I hope you have better luck today. Is he the only doctor in the practice? As far as staples, we do have several doctors here who only use staples for larger women because of the risk of infection. The staples allow the incision to drain more fluid, which can decrease the risk of infection. As someone who had a post-op infection after cs, I say take the staples. The incision won't look much different, but if you do get an infection it will REALLY affect your recovery and how you feel after surgery.

 

[jvattes]

There seem to be a lot of "experts" in this thread, so I will withhold any advice.

I will say that only you and your doctor can determine what is best for you and your baby. I hope that you and he can have a more productive conversation about your concerns prior to the c/s day. If not, I would not sign any consent forms until you have had the chance to ask your questions. Signing them indicates that you have had that discussion and that your questions have been answered to your satisfaction.

Most of all, I wish you a blessed birth with the end result being a healthy Mom and Baby!