Brother coming home from Iraq in 50 days

[Mickeyistheman]

We are very excited that my brother is coming home in 50 days. We have a countdown calender and everything BUT...

His friend from bootcamp was killed last week in Afghanastan and he was upset about it. I think he got the news on his birthday as well. He is excited to come home of course but I think we are all concerned about how he is going to be.

My mother - who I love dearly is going through a rough patch right now. She and my stepfather are not getting along (nothing new) but when my brother comes home I am just nervous.

If anyone has sugguestions of when their Marines/Navy/Army/ etc. come home from war - how do you handle things.

I am having a difficult time myself, worried that so many things are going to be different and not in a good way.

 

[lovemygoofy]

There are so many things I could tell you and I'm sure so many other families can chip in with their own tips and stories.

Will you be going to your brother's base for his homecoming? I'm not sure how it's done in the marines but the family receives a little briefing about post deployment stress and changes. You could always call up a chaplain and discuss your worries. I will tell you what I tell my families.

It will be different to a point because not only has he changed BUT you and your family have changed. It's normal to have changed during the time apart.

Don't be scared or wary of him. Treat him as you always did. Love him, pick on him, make his favorite foods and take him out to the movies and McDonalds.

If he is quiet, let him be quiet. Don't force or ask him to talk about what he saw or did right away. Just let him come home and be part of the family. Make sure he knows that he is still part of the family and wasn't forgotten.

At some point if he wants to discuss it, he will or just gently ask him about Iraq in general. Ask him about the weather, the country itself or the people. Don't ask about the war and if it's worth it, there's no point in it. He may come around to discussing it and he may not.

As for the death of his friend, I'm sorry to hear about this. It's sad and sometimes unavoidable. It will be something your brother has to deal with. It's natural for him to be upset about it. I would be more worried if he showed no emotion.

In the end, you will know if something is "off" or not right. However, you need to remebmer your brother has seen and done things(not necessarily war stuff) that you have not and to a point you cannot understand.

As much as I want to understand what my husband has been through with 140+ degree heat, hearing constant bombings, living with the same people 24 hrs a day and working all the time, I simply can't. He also cannot understand fully how it is to be the family member waiting on him. It's just part of the military life I guess.

I'll tell you what my Granny Hazel always said when I would tell her my worries. Just love him and when need be kicking him in the backside

 

[Mickeyistheman]

Thank you lovemygoofy! I always enjoying hearing about life and I know your man is home!! You are very sweet and give good advice.

I beleive we will be getting information from his base about the homecoming. I just wish that they had more information for us but they really haven't.

I am just worried because of the situation with his girlfriend, who lives with us and I am afraid that she is cheating on him or hearing information from this new girl she is hanging out with, who is a bad influence for her. She drinks alot and she always wants a boyfriend (she has many many issues). My brother doesn't really know about this girl or that they hang out alot and go to bars etc. Like on New Years Eve, she was supposed to be home with us but literally at the last minute she went out. So when he called he was like why isn't she home and it created an arguement that could have been avoided.

I just don't want him to get so upset that he hurts himself because I feel he does love his girlfriend very much. He didn't want to get married until he got home and make sure it could still work.

Thank you for your support and advice.

Oh and give your hubby a hug from me....because he is just as awesome as my brother!!

 

[hrslvr142]

There is an awesome website "marineparents.com" which is not only for Marine parents but for family and friends as well. It is huge and can be a bit intimidating if you are not web saavy but there is a section on it about homecoming and what you can do to help make it easier. My son proudly serves with the USMC and returned injured in October last fall from Afghanistan. His unit lost 20 "brothers" this deployment, a horrible loss and a lot for them to deal with. Your brother will undoubtedly be "different", probably more grown up and perhaps a bit quieter. He may or may not want to talk about it-most do not. Often they are more comfortable being around their "brothers" then outsiders at first. Just let him know you care and are so glad he is home. Tell him thank you for me for his service. If you need help negotiating "marineparents.com" email me. I feel confident his unit has their own section on this webpage and you will probably find others posting that have the same concerns you do. God bless you for being so concerned.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

Thank you Hrslvr142.

Marineparents is VERY intimidating and I usually get lost when I try to find something. haha

I guess I have a good update. He has been in a better mood and recently has been more in touch with his old friends. He sent us some pictures of him and he looks REALLY GOOD!! That made all of us very happy to see him looking good. He can't wait to come home and its just about 40 days or so and he'll be home.

He has worked some things out with his girlfriend as well. He wants to get his own apartment when he comes home. Our family day is on March 14. That is when we will have more information on how to handle things. I will check on that website though.

I also want to give you and your Marine a BIG . What he went through is unimaginable. I am glad that he is home with you now. Losing that many has to be extremly difficult. Give him a big OOH RAH Hug from me.

 

[AdventureLover67]

We are very excited that my brother is coming home in 50 days. We have a countdown calender and everything BUT...

His friend from bootcamp was killed last week in Afghanastan and he was upset about it. I think he got the news on his birthday as well. He is excited to come home of course but I think we are all concerned about how he is going to be.

My mother - who I love dearly is going through a rough patch right now. She and my stepfather are not getting along (nothing new) but when my brother comes home I am just nervous.

If anyone has sugguestions of when their Marines/Navy/Army/ etc. come home from war - how do you handle things.

I am having a difficult time myself, worried that so many things are going to be different and not in a good way.

Mickeyistheman-I just joined this website and noticed your post. Your brother should be home ANY day now! Yeah!! Being both former military and a military spouse w/deployment, my heart goes to both you and your brother. I mainly just wanted to wish you both luck, and encourage you to keep that supportive attitude! The only real advice I can offer is don't push about what he saw/did over there unless HE offers it and try not to judge. One word of caution, try not to encourage drinking and maybe suggest joining a VFW or some other veterans group. Only those who have served in conflict can truly empathize. Most times our men and women can cope as they are much more mentally "strong" than the media portrays, but some individuals see more or have a harder time coping and those are the ones who need the most help. More than anything, just enjoy that he's home! Your in my prayers!!

 

[ginna74]

ALMOST HERE HUH!!!!!!!! Well congrats!!!! I am glad he is comming home safe and sound!!!!! and I don't have any advice as I have never been through it. hubby has been through the gulf war and operation preying mantis but I wasn't with him and I just couldn't advise and I have never been through a deathor with someone who has I am very sorry.
edited cause things changed with hubby....

 

[Mickeyistheman]

Hello Everyone!!!!

I just wanted to update you all that have been so great and very supportive!

He left Iraq yesterday and should be stateside by April 2nd and then actually home in New Jersey (fingers crossed) by April 10th!!!!!

He is so excited as are we! We got all sorts of Red White and Blue to decorate our block and our neighbors homes as well. It is so nice that they will let us decorate. Some of our neighbors are new and never got to meet him.

It will be such a glorious day. He even told us that he wants us to NOT to wear anything Marine related he wants us in what we love to wear. So I will be wearing one of my favorite Disney Shirts. His girlfriend haha has NO idea what to wear!!! She can't wait to see him.

Thank you again everyone for all of your support and good wishes.

I hope your loved ones don't have to go and if they do I will pray for their safe return home!!!!

OOH RAH!

 

[Mickeyistheman]

WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



We just got a call from my brother and he is back in the wonderful

USA!!!!

He will be home in New Jersey in a few days but just to know that is back on US Soil. I can't even tell you the emotions I am feeling right now.

Such relief!!

Thank you to everyone who was so supportive, I truly appreciate it. If it wasn't for the Dis I really don't know how I would have made it through this time.

OOH RAH!!!

 

[kc10family]

WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



We just got a call from my brother and he is back in the wonderful

USA!!!!

He will be home in New Jersey in a few days but just to know that is back on US Soil. I can't even tell you the emotions I am feeling right now.

Such relief!!

Thank you to everyone who was so supportive, I truly appreciate it. If it wasn't for the Dis I really don't know how I would have made it through this time.

OOH RAH!!!

Congratulations! And pass on my thank you to him for his service.

 

[ladykingel]

prayers and blessings to your brother who is coming home soon. God Bless.

 

[MarkyMark07]

good luck hope you have a great family time