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Broke down and gave DC a phone

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I'm honestly baffled by this. You say it like you're the only one who ever "worked hard and sacrificed" to justify the luxuries you enjoy - like a housekeeper. Yet you judge how other people spend their money.

And as a parent I really don't understand why on earth your child would have to pay you back for all of those things????? I really don't.

I agree! And the whole pay me back thing boggles my mind. Do people seriously expect their children to pay them back for the cost of their activities? Did you have to pay your parents back as a kid? I certainly didn't and I don't expect my kids to either. But what do I know, my DD10 has her own iPhone 5S with unlimited data, messaging, and talk and if she wants a Lexus and it's in our car budget when she turns 15 then she'll get a Lexus.
 
Perhaps. Only my son does sports and be is not of an age where we would leave the practice. The other things my kids do, it is not an issue.

The organization I am with is American Heritage Girls. We are responsible for the girl's in our care. Cell phone is not a pre-req for membership. Anytime we have an outing that is chaperoned, as must provide all parents with contact numbers on how to get a hold of the adults and they in turn must provide 2 phone numbers so that I can contact them if necessary. I have passed my phone around to girls to have them call a parent of we were running exceptionally early or late. Because I'm responsible for them whether they have a phone or not.

Again--for me, it has nothing to do with a values judgment. Don't care why someone doesn't have a phone. You want to give a phone when they are 5 or wait until they graduate high school--I don't really care. My kid doesn't have a phone because she doesn't have a phone. It is likely she will get one soon. We just haven't figured out when and what kind. But she has no pressing need to have one at this time. But we realize that may be changing and that is okay. But thus far, she doesn't do anything where an adult could not (willingly) facillitate her call home.

Now what gets my goat is when parents are non-responsive. We were coming from sleep away camp last week and it took quite a long time to contact a parent who was supposed to be picking their child up because that is what they preferred. None of her numbers worked. For us, it was a 3.5 hour drive home and we couldn't leave because this child was going in the opposite direction and while we were able to arrange transportation for her, we couldn't follow throughout that without the mother knowing. It was ridiculous! That bothers me more than a kid not having a phone. And kid having a phone would not have helped.

Maybe it is "regional." But most of our sports do require a way to contact parents by the child. Most of the sports we have participated in have actually had the clause that if you chose to drop off and not stay at practice, your child needs a way to contact you. It could be a phone, an iPod to text, but some way to contact the parent.

For instance, our swim team practices are often called early due to lightning. There is no cell phone at the pool nor are the children ever allowed to use the pool office phone, (town rule, not team rule.) There are 8 coaches and 190 kids. They cannot possibly allow all those kids to use their phones. And with limited shelter to protect all those children, just two small locker rooms, it would not be safe to wait out the storm until parents show up when practice normally ends.

Our schools close the office doors at 4pm and NO child is allowed to use the phones after hours, even for school sanctioned sports.

I still think it completely rude for a parent to draw a line in the sand and say "my child can't have a phone until x" but then expect others to provide communication methods for that same child.

IF the parents have their own plan, it is pennies to add another line to the majority of plans. There is no excuse for children to be left stuck without the means to communicate with their parents in today's world.

In the dinosaur days, our parents put a quarter into our pockets because there were pay phones on every corner. Now cell phones are those quarters.
 
I'm honestly baffled by this. You say it like you're the only one who ever "worked hard and sacrificed" to justify the luxuries you enjoy - like a housekeeper. Yet you judge how other people spend their money.

And as a parent I really don't understand why on earth your child would have to pay you back for all of those things????? I really don't.

Not to defend the OP, but if the child will be compensated for her ref time, then it sounds reasonable for kids to have some financial interest in items procured and classes taken to facillitate that future pay check.
But I have never heard of 11 year olds being paid to do that.

I live in Virginia and the working age here is 14.
 
I'm honestly baffled by this. You say it like you're the only one who ever "worked hard and sacrificed" to justify the luxuries you enjoy - like a housekeeper. Yet you judge how other people spend their money.
Years of experience of dealing with peers and kids whose parents "gave them" only the best and the resultant entitlement spoiled attitude of those peers and kids.

And as a parent I really don't understand why on earth your child would have to pay you back for all of those things????? I really don't.

Because as a ref, DC earns money for every game. To help teach gross versus net profit, we are helping DC understand that the tools to earn money come with a cost. Same reason DC has to pay us back for a babysitting class and CPR/BASIC First Aid class.

It is also why DC had to pay us back for the materials used to make and sell lemonade. This is not us charging for a recreational activity but teaching a lesson early about money handling and profits versus earnings.
 


Not to defend the OP, but if the child will be compensated for her ref time, then it sounds reasonable for kids to have some financial interest in items procured and classes taken to facillitate that future pay check.
But I have never heard of 11 year olds being paid to do that.

I live in Virginia and the working age here is 14.

DC can AR a game at the age level DC plays and can center a younger age level. This will mostly be a tournaments as DC plays on a travel soccer team and most Saturdays and Sundays are filled with games, but DC can go ref at another team's games.
 
There is no minimum age for an R9 soccer ref badge, but our state requires kids to be at least 11 before taking the class. We have fronted the money for the class as well as the ref kit, timer watch and shoes, but DC will have to pay us back for all of it.

Wow, aren't you proud your son wants to be involved? Don't you want to encourage him to continue being active? How is a kid supposed to earn money to fund all this while participating in activities and keeping up with school work? IMO, all you're doing is discouraging him.

I don't believe in handing a kid everything but come on there's a happy middle ground here.
 
Years of experience of dealing with peers and kids whose parents "gave them" only the best and the resultant entitlement spoiled attitude of those peers and kids.



Because as a ref, DC earns money for every game. To help teach gross versus net profit, we are helping DC understand that the tools to earn money come with a cost. Same reason DC has to pay us back for a babysitting class and CPR/BASIC First Aid class.

It is also why DCL had to pay us back for the materials used to make and sell lemonade. This is not JS charging for a recreational activity but teaching a lesson early about money handling and profits versus earnings.



Oh Good Lord - my husband sees that too. That's why we make them get jobs to pay for extras like eating out, clothes and funny money. They are also expected to get part time jobs while at college to pay for extras and books.

But as parents - it's my privilege and pleasure to pay for sports and extra curricular activities! I can't fathom making them pay us back for classes to learn things like babysitting and coaching and reffing.

Maybe that is how you fund your housekeeper?
 


Years of experience of dealing with peers and kids whose parents "gave them" only the best and the resultant entitlement spoiled attitude of those peers and kids.



Because as a ref, DC earns money for every game. To help teach gross versus net profit, we are helping DC understand that the tools to earn money come with a cost. Same reason DC has to pay us back for a babysitting class and CPR/BASIC First Aid class.

It is also why DCL had to pay us back for the materials used to make and sell lemonade. This is not us charging for a recreational activity but teaching a lesson early about money handling and profits versus earnings.
Ok, I will play, even though I have said that based on your previous posts, I don't believe anything in this thread is completely true. Not even sure you have a child. DC would be a good acronym to use so you would never have to remember if you posted about a daughter or a son.

If any of it is true, the way you have posted makes it almost sound like you are trying to reconcile jealousy of these entitled kids by going to the opposite extreme. Neither is good for a DC.

You sold lemonade on a cruise ship?
 
What I also don't get is that the OP has several threads about this DC being bullied at school. OP said s/he was tired of the child getting off the bus in tears every day.

Another thread wanted to stop Teacher Appreciation week because his snowflake (OP's description, not mine) was being teased because OP would not allow the child to participate.

Yet, s/he proudly announces in a third thread that s/he furnished the child with an antiquated phone and the child is being teased about it having a blackberry style keyboard and not a glass screen (first post on this thread.) Cricket has the glass type phones for sale for under $30.00.

If one is so worried about their DC being bullied, why in the world would one purposely set up their DC to be teased even more? Wouldn't it be worth the $29.99 to make sure your child is not teased even more when the child seems to already be a magnet for bullying? Especially since the OP claims s/he could retire tomorrow if s/he wanted to, is on the list for a Virgin Galactic flight and has rented out Palo. Doesn't sound like the $30.00 would be a stretch to protect his 11 year old daughter.

And we know s/he loves technology since s/he went out to try to purchase google glass for themselves on release day. So, why did the OP give the child an antiquated phone, sure to subject his daughter to further bullying and teasing?
 
We are trying to do our part to break the entitlement generation.
My housekeeper has twin HS Sophomores who just turned 16.

She was telling me about their friend's new cars.

One of them is getting a 2015 Lexus and another a 2014 Lincoln Navigator. To me this is overkill in the name of "Safety: and reliability".

So her kids were gossiping about cars their FRIENDS are supposedly "getting"-not have yet, just bragging about the future

Then THEIR Mom passes on this gossip to her employer (who she KNOWS wont get her kid a cell phone)-about some kids who are bragging about cars they dream of having on day

At best, its 3rd hand info-which has been embellished at each telling;)
 
What I also don't get is that the OP has several threads about this DC being bullied at school. OP said s/he was tired of the child getting off the bus in tears every day.

Another thread wanted to stop Teacher Appreciation week because his snowflake (OP's description, not mine) was being teased because OP would not allow the child to participate.

Yet, s/he proudly announces in a third thread that s/he furnished the child with an antiquated phone and the child is being teased about it having a blackberry style keyboard and not a glass screen (first post on this thread.) Cricket has the glass type phones for sale for under $30.00.

If one is so worried about their DC being bullied, why in the world would one purposely set up their DC to be teased even more? Wouldn't it be worth the $29.99 to make sure your child is not teased even more when the child seems to already be a magnate for bullying? Especially since the OP claims s/he could retire tomorrow if s/he wanted to. And is on the list for a Virgin Galactic flight. Doesn't sound like the $30.00 would be a stretch to protect DC.

And we know s/he loves technology since s/he went out to try to purchase google glass for themselves on release day. So, why did the OP give the child an antiquated phone, sure to subject his daughter to further bullying and teasing?


Good detective work!!
 
All three of my kids have cell phones. The twins is 11 and sister is 8. They are in so many activities that sometimes they remind mom to pick them at certain time. Mom and kids all have android Tracfones that run on the Verizon network they will not be getting iphones unless they pay for themselves. I will refill there minutes on there Tracfone and pay them a new andriod phone at Christmas when they have sell on them because I can get for cheap.
 
All three of my kids have cell phones. The twins is 11 and sister is 8. They are in so many activities that sometimes they remind mom to pick them at certain time. Mom and kids all have android Tracfones that run on the Verizon network they will not be getting iphones unless they pay for themselves. I will refill there minutes on there Tracfone and pay them a new andriod phone at Christmas when they have sell on them because I can get for cheap.

My friend said to watch out for texts eating all of the money so I went with unlimited. Data is not needed at this time so this is just a trial. Though DC does not have an iPhone a contract that borrowed from this one was signed by SO, I and DC.

http://www.janellburleyhofmann.com/postjournal/gregorys-iphone-contract/
 
The kids EARNED A Lexus? Ok. And there are people judging that a kid HAD to have data so it is perfectly acceptable for me to have an opinion on what kind of car another parent buys their child.

How could you possibly know that??? It's friends of your housekeepers kids, not anyone you personally know. Don't worry so much about what they are doing.
 
Oh jeez. Give me a break.

My parents got me a cell phone at the age of 11. It wasn't the most expensive or fancy phone at the time, but it was a decent cell phone, on-par with the average phones at the time. When I turned 16, my parents got me a brand new car with 0 miles on it, because they were able to afford it. Also, because I had great grades and deserved it. I was never spoiled because although my parents got me nice things, they made sure to teach me to work hard through school. It worked- I am at a state university with a full ride. I'm not like other girls my age who need "Michael Kors" everything. They raised me to be a sensible human being. That has nothing to do with what they bought me.

OP, requiring your child to pay you back for everything you give them is unrealistic and it's making your child's life harder. My BFs parents were like that. They never wanted to help him out with anything, which is why he wasn't able get his license an entire 4 years after I did. He started working as soon as he could, but couldn't afford the sky-high car insurance rates in our area. If it wasn't for ME being able to drive to our university (45+ minutes away from home) every morning, he would have had to settle for the local community college.

He is a smart guy and he deserved to have all of the opportunities I did, but because his parents didn't feel like helping him out, it took him a lot longer to get on his own two feet.

IMO, a child who is hard-working in school and socially responsible (not drinking, etc) should be helped financially as much as the parents are able to.
 
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