Birthdays and Loved One's Passing

Discussion in 'Coping and Compassion' started by TwoCortWort, Feb 13, 2013.

  1. TwoCortWort

    TwoCortWort A Buckeye Disney Princess

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2012
    Messages:
    538
    My family has a horrible history at the moment of having family members die either on their birthday or some one else's. March 3rd will mark two years since my mom's dad had a stroke/seizure on his birthday, we say he "died" that day because he never recovered and passed away on the 6th. It's tough right now because their anniversary just past and its tough to go to my grandmas now. I am always looking for him, two years later I still run to where the computer is and think I will find him there. I didn't have this much trouble when I lost my other grandpa, but finding this to be harder and with time it gets worse for not only me but my dad.

    There is also that I wish so badly he could come back for 5 minutes just to see me, how I look now that I have lost over 100lb. He swore I never would get the $50 for losing 50lb in his lifetime, I was 4 pounds short when he passed. I kick myself to this day for not going to their 65th anniversary party, but I had the flu. I know he sees me, but I wish he could be here and seeing me. :(

    March just sucks in the death sense. My great uncle passed the same day as my grandpa two years ago..hours apart, his wife died on my birthday 3 weeks later after they both passed, my aunt and uncle's cocker spaniel spent his final day on my birthday 4 years ago and put him to sleep the following day. (I miss that dog so much)

    Just having a rough time...thanks for reading.
     
  2. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    Aug 3, 2004
    Messages:
    19,225
    :hug: I'm sorry for your losses. It isn't easy, and I get you...

    Congrats on the weight loss. That is an amazing accomplishment! You must be so proud of yourself, and so is he..

    I would love to say time heals all wounds, but it is raw, and so hard to see right now. Wishing you some sunshine, and the day when you can smile through the heartache.
     
  3. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,055
    I am so sorry for the heart ache you are feeling. For years I would get...irritable during a certain month. turns out I had great heart ache as a child that month. I had blocked it out, but it manifested. My point although, it is difficult, the fact you already recognize the significance gives you the opportunity to acknowledge, and hopefully find a way to positively approach it as each event is coming upon you. Find a way to recognize the pain, then a way to celebrate the joy. That would be my advice IF you were to ask, which of course you didn't so just ignore if you like.

    I can indentify with the pain. And I can indentify with the timing. My Mom passed Nov. 2 - her mom Nov. 1
    My Dad just passed on Feb. 11 - his Dad Feb. 9th.
    One of my 3 best friends Dec. 25th. - Christmas
    My next best friend - March 9th. - days before my triplets 21st bday which he was sooooo looking forward to.
    The best way I could explain it for me is: I don't hurt every minute of every day any more, but when I hurt it is much more intense. I have lost 4 people I love very very much, including both my parents, in 15month period.
    I have no words to ease your pain. I can only say, you are not alone.
     

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