Be nice to your kids please.

[luvmy3]

ITA.... Again I have a similar story from a friend. Luckily CPS didn't come knocking on her door.

My friend was shopping at Michael's (an arts and crafts store) with her 2 kids, about 5 & 7 at the time if I remember correctly how long it has been.
Her oldest, the DD, wanted something and the mom didn't buy it. Her DD started screaming so my friend carried her DD out of the store. She put her DD in her booster, the DS in his and started to leave. Her DD unfastened her seat belt, laid down in the van floor and was kicking and screaming.
This friend does not spank. She decided to ignore the tantrum so she unbuckled her DS, got out of the van with him and stood outside the van while her DD kicked, screamed etc inside the van. someone came up (I don't remember if she said they drove up and parked, or walked up and got into a parked car) and sat in their car a long time just watching her. The person in the car then started dialing their phone. My friend figured the person had called the police, so she put her DS in his booster and forcefully placed her DD in her booster and buckled her in. As she left the parking lot, she saw 2 police cars enter the lot (from another entrance I believe).
She didn't get a mile down the road before her DD unfastened her seatbelt again and threw herself to the floor of the van kicking and screaming. The mother pulled to the side of the road, grabbed her DD and yelled at her to sit down, buckle up and not move until they got home. The mother was so afraid that the police would see the DD jumping around if she kept going, but was afraid they would see them on the side of the road and stop too.
This is the one and only time the mother has ever yelled at one of her kids. She was horrified that she had damaged her DD. She was worried for weeks that the police or CPS would show up at her door, and if the nosy busy body had got their license plate, they probably would have shown up.

I can totally relate this story to myself. There have been many times where I have had to do similiar things with my 4 year old. I have learned that the best way to stop it tantrum is to ignore it. If that means I have to leave him to flip himself around our van for a few minutes before he calms down, then I will. Its happened more times than I'd like to count. I worry that someone may think that I am abusing him, but if you don't have a child like that then you could never understand.
I have spanked my 2 other children when they were younger. I don't do it with my youngest because it would not accomplish anything, and only make it worse.

 

[robertsmom]

It was skin on skin. the boy said he didn't want a wippin. Recalling the conversation the man told him to drop his pants and he cried that he didn't want to. It was definately skin on skin. if he was slapping his own skin I do not see why he would have taken him into the stall.

I love the way this poster keeps "remembering" more details.

 

[jamimb]

My problem with spanking is that parents do it when they're angry. They're basically taking out their anger by hitting the kid. Look at the parents faces when they hit their kids, you can see how the parents are feeling ...frustrated, annoyed, angry. They're not hitting their child for the child's own good. They're doing it because they are mad at the child. I've wanted to hit my kids lots of times, but I stop for a second and think. I wanted to do it because they didn't behave and it pissed me off. So I didn't do it. I have yet to know a parent who calmly without anger spanks a child to teach them their punishment. Because when they're calm, in their hearts they can't bear to physically hurt their children. That's what I believe.

I just don't see how to teach a kid to control their anger and not hit other kids when the parent uses hitting as a punishment.

I'm not debating, just saying my thoughts and feelings about it.

I am going to have to strongly disagree with this statement. I am sure that some spankings occur because a parent is angry but not always. I have spanked my children several times when I was not angry and when it was actually hard for me to do but the situation was serious enough to warrant a spanking. Ill give an example. When my oldest was 2 she had a really bad habit of getting away from my hand (she was a strong booger) and running into the street. well no amount of time outs was gonna cut it and one day she ran out in the street and almost got hit by a car. Well let me tell you she got the spanking of her life and she never did it again. I was not mad at the time (scared maybe) but I knew only a whoopin (im in the south ) was gonna make an impression on her. I think sometimes when done the correct way a spanking is a very effective tool. Some children will not respond to anything else.

 

[Average Joe]

I love the way this poster keeps "remembering" more details.

do you? me too.I am sorry that I did not write everything in the first post.
It is great that you type everything your thinking at one time....
but then again you don't have much to say at all.

 

[CajunDixie]

If it truly was an incident of abuse, the time to have gotten a security guard would have been during the abuse.

Using you analogy...you are driving down the road and witness a stabbing. The time to call 911 would be immediately. You don't stand there for several minutes watching the repeat stabbing, then call 911 after the victim is dead and the attacker is leaving the scene.

Actually you should put your safety first and leave the scene then call 911...you don't want to be the next victim. Same goes for the OP he should have put his safety first by leaving and alerting someone. The guy could have been on drugs or had a weapon (mmhhmm I know you go through security at WDW but we all know people have gotten weapons through airport security so I'd be you can get them slipped through WDW security too)

OP, I havn't read all the responses, but if I felt like someone was abusing a kid
I don't care how big the person is I would be doing all I could to help the child. not just stand by listening

And possibly end up a victim too? Maybe even be killed? You have no idea if that person is on drugs or has a weapon. You should leave the scene and contact authorities. You won't do the child anygood if the guy kills you and then leaves with the child. I'm not talking just about at WDW but anyplace.

 

[paigevz]

Of course they found no signs of abuse in the home but it doesn't matter, this woman is now flagged by CPS. Once a claim of abuse is made you stay in their database regardless of the findings. When people do background checks this could possibly come up. It really is a fine line between reporting what you think is abuse and what really is, and innocent families can pay a price for someone's mistake.

I was told by more than one social worker, here at least, that the report is only kept for 6 months. Then if there are no more reports, it's closed. Background checks don't include CPS visits, unless criminal charges were filed.

I still think a simple "Everything ok in there?" called out would have made the man cut the "whoopin" short.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Actually you should put your safety first and leave the scene then call 911...you don't want to be the next victim. Same goes for the OP he should have put his safety first by leaving and alerting someone. The guy could have been on drugs or had a weapon (mmhhmm I know you go through security at WDW but we all know people have gotten weapons through airport security so I'd be you can get them slipped through WDW security too)

And possibly end up a victim too? Maybe even be killed? You have no idea if that person is on drugs or has a weapon. You should leave the scene and contact authorities. You won't do the child any good if the guy kills you and then leaves with the child. I'm not talking just about at WDW but anyplace.

The point is, though, that it there is an immediate concern for a person's safety, there is an immediate need for intervention. Sometimes you just have to go with the statistics on your side, and believe that most bullies back down when confronted. And, yes, I have, in the course of my job, had to do this. Sometimes the risk is just to high, to have on my conscience.

 

[Loverly]

I was at MGM studios and walked into the restroom near the entrance.

Then when he did I saw he was a monster with arms as big as my waist. So what could I do. However, as he was walked past me I said to him ‘some tough guy beating up a little boy’. :

Question-there is no restroom at WDW that is not chock-a-block full of people. I can not imagine there not being another man-you know a man who would stand up to a bully- who would not also be outraged and join you in confronting this abuse.

 

[KariC]

Question-there is no restroom at WDW that is not chock-a-block full of people. I can not imagine there not being another man-you know a man who would stand up to a bully- who would not also be outraged and join you in confronting this abuse.

Loverly, I keep thinking of this same thing.....especially as this is "spring break" time, and attendance is most likely up right now. And, if this is how empty the men's rooms are at heavy attendance time, we ladies need to have a chat with management. We need more stalls, or need to use the men's rooms.

 

[3jsmommy]

Does anyone remember the thread started by "the Amazing Spidey" (I thnik that was it) about letting teens go on vacation by themselves.
Then later he assumed another identity & admitted to being a teenage troll.
Well the wording in this first post reminded me of his. Convienently adding details as he went along. He also used the word "Lads" in that thread.
I can't find that thread. BTW, school was out yesterday!
I wonder?

 

[TurboKitty]

We needed a thread reminding us not to beat our kids?

If I had witnessed the situation described in the OP (assuming first that it really happened), I would have said something, like paigevz suggested. A simple "Is everything okay in there?".

Especially because, at that time in the OP, I would not have had any idea the size of the persons involved what with not having x-ray vision and all.

FTR, the pants comment added later really skeeves me out because I suffered sexual abuse as well as physical abuse as a child myself. At that point, I'd likely have freaked right the heck out and /or started dialing 911 on my cellphone right then. A bathroom stall is really not the place you want to hear that particular conversation followed by sound effects.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Does anyone remember the thread started by "the Amazing Spidey" (I thnik that was it) about letting teens go on vacation by themselves.
Then later he assumed another identity & admitted to being a teenage troll.
Well the wording in this first post reminded me of his. Convienently adding details as he went along. He also used the word "Lads" in that thread.
I can't find that thread. BTW, school was out yesterday!
I wonder?

LOL, forgot about spring break...!

 

[tlens]

You know, I understand being scared. But think about how that little boy must have felt. And he gets to go home with that monster.

And....most time the people who beat on kids and women are cowards and wouldn't confront another man. They prefer to beat on people who can't defend themselves.

 

[rayelias]

Does anyone remember the thread started by "the Amazing Spidey" (I thnik that was it) about letting teens go on vacation by themselves.
Then later he assumed another identity & admitted to being a teenage troll.
Well the wording in this first post reminded me of his. Convienently adding details as he went along. He also used the word "Lads" in that thread.
I can't find that thread. BTW, school was out yesterday!
I wonder?

DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING...
We have a winner!

 

[SandraVB79]

Ok. well you were not there. The sounds alone were enough to know he was hitting hard. To make the post short I left out some description about the beating. I thought it was graphic enough for most readers. But you want more details. I counted over 20 smacks and this was after I left the stall and there were many more before that. Ok is that enough to indicate abuse.

For those who think it is none of my business you need help and need to quit beating your kids. I would not spank my child but if you want to that is fine just do not give a beating!

You counted 20 smacks. At least. Or so you think. (when I use the restrooms at WDW, you will also hear some smacks and the stalls also tremble a bit, my backpack is big and I'm not that elegant). 20 smacks, and the kid didn't look beaten up?

Yes, that is a question. Why would you stand quietly and listen to 20+ smacks while the stall walls are shaking and the child is screaming?

Wouldn't you at least call out to them? "Need any help in there?" Or just anything, could have possibly stopped the man.

Something else I wonder about. You heard those smacks, the kid screaming, and never yelled "hey, knock it off"? I mean, as long as the man was in the stall, you couldn't know whether he was huge or not. Just screaming something could have helped. No, you waited quietly, and then afterwards you go tell a CM...
I find it strange. Sorry.

 

[SandraVB79]

Oh, and to add: I will be nice to my (future) kids as long as they are nice to me and the world. I won't abuse them, but I do believe in spankings.

 

[disneygal2007]

I do spank my kids. I don't beat them at all. My kids are not the kind of kids that take a time out as a punishment at all. I am raising two boys that have gotten out of control since daddy has been gone and I will NOT stand for it. 3 or 4 swats yes but a full on beating by a huge a*& man isn't right at all. I would have told someone also. We live on a military post and u wouldn't believe the moms and how they treat their kids your husband is deployed true but please it's not the kids fault. Trust me the husband's feel bad enough without u killing the children's spirits while they are away SHEESH

 

[KariC]

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1764913

now, this seems like a true story....

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

I've had the experience where a stanger has called the police on DH and I because our kid was having a fit at the store.

Our son, 3 at the time, was begging for candy as we were checking out. We said no. <heaven forbid> He launched into a tantrum. DH had to physically pick him up kicking and screaming and take him out to the car. Someone reported us for kidnapping.

I suppose that it would have been questionable to a bystander in the parking lot. So, I wasn't mad about it. At least if he had been being kidnapped, that person cared enough to do something.

 

[Average Joe]

Loverly, I keep thinking of this same thing.....especially as this is "spring break" time, and attendance is most likely up right now. And, if this is how empty the men's rooms are at heavy attendance time, we ladies need to have a chat with management. We need more stalls, or need to use the men's rooms.

Did I give a date? didn't think so. I just stated my last trip. It was in October. It was in the extra magic hours in the evening. The park was not crowded that day. I have been in restrooms at Disney many times when there was only one or two people in there.