Back and forth

[aschwarz]

To make a long story very short, my fiance and I really want a WDW wedding, but our families have given us a lot of pushback (some have flat out said they won't be able to afford to go). We were then going to get married in October 2014 close to home in New York, but even that is proving to be too expensive (the place we have our heart set on is $135/pp for a Sunday before tax!) so now we are considering postponing the wedding entirely until October of 2015.

I would love, then, to be able to save up money for a WDW wedding and still invite the 100-140 people on my list, do a site visit soon, and make a decision as best we can on location and date now (even though I know you cannot hold any dates at Disney until much closer to the event).

Would it be reasonable to create save-the-dates which express how we are planning our celebration in FL for the fall of 2015 and would love for people to consider attending? If I was given two years notice for a friend's wedding, I would surely save up money to be able to be there for them!

I'm so torn about the whole thing that honestly the W word makes me nauseous. I truly understand why people elope. I honestly do. And this isn't how I should feel about what should be the happiest time in my life.

 

[gelandnick]

Some people might think it's crazy...but with a destination wedding (where this is a true concern) I think it is perfectly reasonable! Since you can't lock in the date yet, have your save the date just state month and year. You may need to send out a second round of save the dates once you sign your contract so that they can book their travel definitively. I hope everything works out! I can empathize with the stress of family members pushing back. Just remember that it's about the two of you and celebrating your love!

 

[bradleyjess]

I think that's reasonable! I also think its reasonable to cut your guest list for a Disney wedding. I did, and my friends that I couldn't invite understood.

 

[belle032]

I completely agree with the other posters. I actually posted a thread a few days ago asking if I was crazy to go from a 140ish person to wedding to a WDW escape wedding. We know we can't afford having that many people at a WDW wedding so we compromised and promised those not invited we would have a party when we got back. So far, they completely understand.

To our friends we are inviting, we already talked to them about traveling to WDW and made sure they were ok with it and still wanting to attend, even if it forced them to spend some money. It turned out to be an overwhelming yes and I think they are as excited as we are!

So yes, I think what you're doing is definitely reasonable. Coming from someone who was already stressed just looking at venues and worrying about 2 big families getting along and being entertained enough, just make sure this is what you want. It's YOUR day. If they can't make it to your wedding with 2 years notice...maybe they aren't someone you want on your guest list anyway! Good luck!

 

[kimysbug]

I had a similar issue many years ago, we ended up having a NY wedding, and a 10 year WDW vow renewal.

Good luck it will be magical any way you get married.

 

[bigr3ddog]

Easier said than done, but ultimately you need to do what makes you happy. It is your day and your money more or less.

For us, a Disney wedding made the most sense. We met because of Disney. Our first date was at Disney. We became a couple at Disney. We got engaged at Disney. How could we not have the wedding at Disney? We tried to fit our immediate family into an escape wedding, but we just couldn't make it work. Therefore, we went wishes and are trying our hardest to stay as close to the $12,000 minimum expenditure as possible. As much as we would Ike to invite our extended families, we simply can't afford it. Fortunately, our families seem to understand.

 

[aschwarz]

Thanks everyone! It's reassuring to know others have been in the same boat. If we don't end up doing our DFTW, we will absolutely incorporate the Mouse into our wedding, and obviously will be wearing our newlywed ears proudly on our disneymoon!!

 

[beverlywright817]

agree with bigr3ddog