baby stopped sleeping at night...help?

[Saturn23]

My son used to be a great sleeper. We would put him to bed at the same time every night and he would fall right asleep and not wake up at all until morning. A month ago I went home to my parent's house with him and he refused to sleep in the crib. He would only sleep in bed with me. We got back from the trip and after a few nights in his own crib he was back to sleeping normally. This only lasted for two weeks though. Sunday night he woke up crying every 2-3 hours and had to be rocked back to sleep. Sometimes he could be put back into the crib after falling asleep, and other times he would wake up and scream so he would need to be rocked back to sleep all over again. Either way he only slept a few hours each time until waking. We thought it would pass but we've just been through night #4 like this. The problem is that he stands up and throws his security blanket that he needs to sleep with out of the crib so that he won't ever fall asleep on his own if we just let him cry. Will he eventually go back to normal since he already knows how to sleep through the night or do I need to do something to help? I'm really miserable when I can't get any sleep.

 

[mjkacmom]

As someone who hates not to sleep, I have always giving my kids benedryl when they fall out of a regular sleep schedule, do to illness, teething, vacations, etc. By night 2, they're usually back to normal.

 

[deva]

You're sure to get a lot of responses on this - let them cry or go to them is always a big debate. You don't mention how old your child is, as I would take that into consideration, but I have always been a supporter of letting them cry. If he was sleeping though the night, he is likely now just waking from habit and has gotten accustomed to you rocking him back to sleep. The fact that you say he is now getting up and throwing his lovey out of the crib makes me think he as just hit a developmental milestone (able to stand up etc.), so I don't think it is unusual for him to be trying it out. He needs to figure out that if he throws his lovey out of his crib that he's not getting it back in the middle of the night. Then he will stop doing it. If you are always going in and returning it to him, he'll be crying for you every night.

My adivice would be to make sure he's not sick (ear infection etc) which could be causing the night waking and then commit to putting him down and night and not going to get him until the morning. Probably a lot of crying night 1, but I bet you'll be back on track by night 3.

If you decide to do this, really commit to doing it. It will no good to listen to him cry for 20 minutes, but then go get him and rock him to sleep. He'll just learn that he needs to cry 20 minutes for you to come get him.

 

[Beckypooh1972]

You might consider the possibility that he is getting too much sleep while napping during the day. My kids have a hard time falling asleep if they have an overly long nap at daycare.

 

[DentalDana]

My ODS went through this at 15mo. He had an ear infection two months prior and that caused him to scream at night until the medicine kicked in. When he started doing this agian at 15mo, we took him back to the Dr. thining ear infection again. He didn't have an ear infection nor was he teething. She said it was separation anxiety and that we'd have to let him CIO or put up with it. We let him cry for 25min the first night (at around 2am) and the next night it was maybe 5-10min then nothing from then forward. CIO isn't for everyone, but it worked for us and worked for our new baby to break the middle of the night bottle habit.

 

[Tracy041500]

Welcome to motherhood.

We co-sleep so thats the only advice I can give you.My 3 month old has been sleeping through the night for about a month now. I never would let my children CIO.

Put him in bed with you, and enjoy this time while hes little. Because it doesn't last long.

Good Luck.

 

[allyphoe]

Put him in bed with you, and enjoy this time while hes little. Because it doesn't last long.

Ah, you say that now, but I wake up to a 6yo in my bed about half the time.

I'm not a CIO parent either, but I personally wouldn't recommend starting co-sleeping with an 11-month-old to someone who wasn't prepared for it to continue an extended period of time.

 

[Saturn23]

Thanks so much for the suggestions everyone. Last night was a little better than the others. He slept a good four hours before waking up and crying. I went in to check on him and he cried until I picked him up. He fell right asleep in my arms so I knew he was tired. I put him back down and he cried. I sat by the crib to see if he would fall asleep just from knowing I was there. I think he may have some separation anxiety. After about an hour I decided to just leave and let him fall asleep. He cried for 20 minutes and then slept until morning. I hated just letting him cry but I know he has to learn to sleep in his crib. I've tried co-sleeping and while it works for him, I lie awake all night because I'm afraid that he may crawl away from me and fall off the bed if I fall asleep or that I may roll over onto him. Too bad they don't make adult sized cribs. I have my own insomnia problems which make matters worse. If I wake up at night I usually can't fall back asleep until just before the sun comes up. I've had about two hours of sleep each night this week. Hopefully tonight he'll cry for a shorter amount of time. Amazingly my husband was SO tired that he didn't hear any of the crying last night.

Someone please tell me that this gets better! It has to or nobody would have the energy to have a second or third...

 

[tloveswdw]

Good luck to you... it does getter easier. I have four, and could easily have more hah ha.

Just to add, don't worry about co-sleeping and being a non ending struggle. I think many think they will have an eighteen year old in bed with them! Our children co-sleep with us, till they are ready to move on. Then, they end up co-sleeping by choice usually with a sibling. Few people actually prefer to sleep alone. Most people like to know someone is there. He is likely just going through a stage, a growth spurt even. Teeth too, can be a month or longer process... that can really rack their sleep.

 

[mjkacmom]

Few people actually prefer to sleep alone. Most people like to know someone is there. He is likely just going through a stage, a growth spurt even. Teeth too, can be a month or longer process... that can really rack their sleep.

I think your perspective comes from someone who enjoys co-sleeping. Most moms I know don't want their kids in their beds - heck, I know lots of women (including myself ) who tiptoe up to bed if their DH's fall asleep on the couch, so they get the whole bed to themselves! The only woman I knew who co-slept was not happy about it, but she would give in instead of putting the child back to bed. She complained about it endlessly, however.

I think it's hard for people who co-sleep understand how unappealing it is to those of us that don't. You either love it, or hate it.

 

[happymommy]

My 12 year old will still occasionally crawl into bed with us if he has a bad dream or doesn't feel well. I mean no more than once a month. I don't mind, as he knows he is welcome. As a baby, he would sleep with us if we were out of town sometimes, it just was easier than having him in an unfamiliar place - now he doesn't do that, of course! He likes his own bed, but if he's not feeling well, he can crawl in.

To the OP: I would definitely take your baby to the pediatrician, just to get the ears checked. My son started to get chronic ear infections at about 6 months, then at one year old he got tubes. Those helped so much! The only symptom we ever got was his waking up fussy during the night. Every time I took him in when he was doing that, he had an ear infection. He could also be teething?

Otherwise, just understand that these things happen to parents. It is hard to lose your sleep, I know, but it's just one of those things. He won't be 11 months forever, and this will pass, and you'll move on to another challenge, and another triumph. If you want him to sleep with you for a while, do that. If you want him to learn to put himself back to sleep, do that. He's your baby, and only you know what is best for him. And yes, we all make mistakes with our kids, and wish we'd done something differently, but we're only human.

Good luck! Let us know if things improve!

 

[lolafrances]

Your son may just be going through a period of some kind of illness, or a growth spurt, or some other developmental change. My two year old recently had a period of five nights where he woke up crying after being asleep for about two hours and couldn't fall back sleep. DH and I took turns going up to his room and comforting him to get him back to sleep. He woke up several times each night but during the day he seemed fine with no indications that he was sick at all.

I took him to the doctor thinking maybe he had an ear infection but he didn't. I couldn't figure it out. At the time my baby was 8 weeks old so it was a very challenging couple of days to say the least, but we got through it and he went back to sleeping normally.

It is great to hear other people's opinions about CIO, co-sleeping, and everything else, but only you know if your heart what works for you and what you are comfortable with. Good luck and I hope you get some sleep soon!

 

[EEEBEE]

I think my son might be about the same age and started waking often during the night screaming. First thing was it turned out to be an ear infection. A little baby tylenol did the trick, back to sleeping through the night. However, after the infection cleared up it started happening again. We had no idea what it was until his teachers at daycare suggested that he might need to be eating more "table food" (he would eat his baby "puffs" and then try to eat the other kids food too!). We started feeding him more "table food" and several smaller meals throughout the day. It worked, he is back to sleeping through the night! Maybe that will do the trick? Good luck.

 

[AntePrincess]

This too shall pass. My child is doing something similar right now, just fidgeting and doing everything she can rather than go to sleep. Sometimes we never know why it's happening. Once you've ruled out a cold or other illness, I'd stop worrying about the cause. It could be a growth spurt, teething, or nightmares, but what could anyone do about them? I live by the old-fashioned advice: re-establish a routine. We start with bath time, let her have all she wants to drink (thirst keeps her up), read a short story, give her the opportunity to go to the bathroom (potty training in our case, if you're not to that point yet, you'll probably just have to wait for the last diaper change of the night), read another story, and then to bed.

In my experience, crying it out just makes for a very upset, agitated child. She might pass out if she's cried enough, although she never has passed out yet, but she never falls asleep that way, she just gets more and more awake. We end up having to start from scratch. Can't speak to your situation or preferences, though.

 

[greens_in_WA]

My DD was hard to figure... she wouldn't be upset... she'd just be wide awake at 3am... turns out she was teething... and everytime she had a new batch coming in, the same thing would happen, and it would still take a few days for us to figure out what the sleep issue was.

I'm not a big cry it out person either... but then my DD threw up when I tried it... felt like the worst mom ever.

Good luck - it will pass... and when we tried co-sleeping, it took us the next 4 years to kick her out - which was a really probably when ds came along.

 

[Saturn23]

Thanks to all the experienced Moms for your help! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one going through this and that everyone survives. Last night was better than the previous nights. He woke up every hour or two and let out a five second "waaaaaah" but then fell back asleep himself without anyone having to go in to pick him up. That's pretty much normal for him.

Do new teeth generally bother babies just before they break through the gums or after they've already come through? Probably both? I remember when he got his first few that he didn't sleep well for a week at a time but that some others came through with no issues. I think he may be teething again.

For those who co-sleep, do you ever worry that the baby will wake up while you're sleeping and crawl off the foot of the bed? That's one of the reasons why I can't fall asleep while he's there. I have to hold onto him the whole time.

The puffs story made me laugh. That reminds me so much of Liam. A friend had a package of them and he crawled right to her (crawled for the first time just to get them) and grabbed a handful to shove into his mouth all at once.

Thanks again to everyone for the advice. Hopefully tonight will go well too and he'll be back to sleeping well. Then I'll just need to fix my own insomnia.

 

[tloveswdw]

Do new teeth generally bother babies just before they break through the gums or after they've already come through? Probably both?

Babies/toddlers can be bothererd by a tooth for weeks before and after. THere is a lot adjustment for SOME children. I have had one of our four, who seemed to teeth for two weeks for each tooth.

For those who co-sleep, do you ever worry that the baby will wake up while you're sleeping and crawl off the foot of the bed?

I have never held onto any of them, in nearly eight years of co-sleeping. I guess I am not as well rested as some, but, the children are.

.

And my comment about people not wanting to sleep alone, I get is individual, but has little to do with cosleeping overall... I just know that most of my friends can not, and do not sleep well when the DH is out of town. And, how many people I know who have bedrooms for all their children, yet the children congregate to one bedroom to sleep together.

GL! It will pass, and all to quickly!