Baby Name Question

[3Gsandme]

I have a five year old with a rather unique first name. She either goes by her full first name or a diminutive of that name which is, literally, half of her name. Like, Jenny for Jennifer or Danny for Daniel.

SiL is pregnant and wants to use dd's diminutive if she has a daughter. Again, like naming her daughter Gwen when my daughter was named Gwendolyn and goes by Gwen.

SiL asked me if I thought that was weird and I told her that I thought it was. That dd goes by that name. That everyone calls her that name.

Apparently, SiL is still pushing the issue and reached out to my sister today to tell her they were thinking of using this name. My sister told her it was weird and not a good idea and SiL seems to think it's no big thing and "nicknames are fair game".

Complicating this is both brother AND SiL call dd by this name, so it's not like they use her given name to speak with her. Again, it's like calling her Jenny and then wanting to USE the name Jenny for their future child.

I'm irritated and frustrated. Am I out of line?

 

[OurBigTrip]

I guess I don't see the big deal if they have the same name.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I think that's pretty lousy of your SIL but at the same time you really can't tell someone what not to name their kid KWIM?

I would be really mad though.

 

[LuvGoofy6]

I would be against it too. If it were a friend then maybe not so much. However, family members that will see each other all the time is different. It would maybe be ok if it was a family namesake but if not, I'm 100% with you on this.

 

[3Gsandme]

I guess I don't see the big deal if they have the same name.

They're first cousins and see each other frequently. This isn't a family name or something.

 

[NewRVLady]

Someone I know named her son John ( which Is her brother's name-it's a handed down name brother is the third I think)
She calls him Jack

So her brother named his sonJohn and calls him John

But in YOUR case your SIL should not do that

 

[jrmasm]

I have plenty of cousins with the same name. NBD

Bottom line for me, not your kid, not your business.

 

[Ambear]

I think that's a bit weird. But not sure what you can do about it... A name is a big deal so if they really want that name, they're gonna go with it.

 

[3Gsandme]

I have plenty of cousins with the same name. NBD

Bottom line for me, not your kid, not your business.

That's true, but she did ask me.

 

[ashley0139]

It wouldn't be my first choice, but I wouldn't campaign against it or anything. To be honest, I don't see why your SIL can't pick a different name. There are millions of names out there. But again, there's not much you can actually do. We have two Bens in my family that are first cousins. They go by big Ben and little Ben. It's not a huge deal.

 

[jrmasm]

That's true, but she did ask me.

It was probably a heads up rather than asking for permission.

 

[*Meagan*]

Very frustrating, unfortunately we don't own the right to any name but it is a total bummer your SIL wants to use practically the same name. Do you think she will go forward with naming her child that?

 

[3Gsandme]

It was probably a heads up rather than asking for permission.

She said "Would it be weird if we used NAME for this baby?"
I said, "Well, since that's what we all call DD, it would be super weird. It's dd's name."
Then she said, "Yeah, you're right."

 

[*Meagan*]

It wouldn't be my first choice, but I wouldn't campaign against it or anything. To be honest, I don't see why your SIL can't pick a different name. There are millions of names out there. But again, there's not much you can actually do. We have two Bens in my family that are first cousins. They go by big Ben and little Ben. It's not a huge deal.

My exact thought, millions of names out there. I'm sure she can come up with another.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

I agree it is out of line and SIL should pick a new name. I had a SIL do it to me 23 years ago and I was very upset at the time. No, it was not a family name. Her older sister even told her she should not do it, but she did not care. Luckily we have seen them less than 10 times in 23 years.

Is this your brother or a SIL on your husband's side? Can your mom talk some sense into her son or your husband's mother into the mother to be depending on what side of the family?

There are plenty of wonderful names out there. I don't blame you for being bothered by her picking one that was already used for a cousin.

 

[3Gsandme]

Very frustrating, unfortunately we don't own the right to any name but it is a total bummer your SIL wants to use practically the same name. Do you think she will go forward with naming her child that?

I hope she doesn't. Sister says they're leaning towards other names anyhow, so I don't know why she's brought it up again.

Of course, dd is several years older (5) so SiL and brother will look like the copy cats.

 

[jrmasm]

She said "Would it be weird if we used NAME for this baby?"
I said, "Well, since that's what we all call DD, it would be super weird. It's dd's name."
Then she said, "Yeah, you're right."

Maybe she thought you'd respond in a different way? I have no idea. Regardless I don't think it's a big deal.

 

[unhinged]

I guess I don't see the big deal if they have the same name.

Me neither. In my family, there are a ton of cousins named David.

It is easy for somebody to just tell them to choose another name, there are thousands of names out there. But a child's name is very personal. If this is a name she had her heart set on for awhile, it is not that easy to just go pick something else out.

 

[3Gsandme]

Maybe she thought you'd respond in a different way? I have no idea. Regardless I don't think it's a big deal.

Thanks for your input. It's why I asked.

This is my brother's wife. My mom has been gone for 8 years now, so no talking any sense into anyone. My Dad is decidedly hands off.

 

[3Gsandme]

I should say, the replication of names just doesn't really happen in my family. Lots of shared middle names that are family names, but not shared first names.