Asking someone else's parents to chip in for trip...

[lisapezz]

My Mom and I have done trips just the 2 of us at least once a year for the last few years. We weren't super close through my teenage years and didn't really bond until about 4 years ago when she went through some health issues and I was there to help out. I have a niece and nephew I love to pieces and have been to WDW with them as well, but I wouldn't give up the just Mom and me trips for anything. We try different hotels, sleep in, swim everyday. They really are relaxing trips and definitely something I'll always remember.

Whatever you decide to do I know you'll have a great time

 

[Sparkie]

Hello Peep!

I can see both sides of this.

One: I have done the Mom and Me trip. We did have a good time. We were on our own schedule. Ate where we wanted to eat, rode what we wanted to ride, saw the parades and the shows that the kids usually didnt want to slow down and see. But I missed having my kids with me. We still had a good time and I enjoyed spending grown-up time with my mom.

Two: I have invited friends of the kids on 2 occasions. One trip, my DH decided he wasnt going to go. So I had a reservation, meals, tickets, and airfare already paid. I made the offer to my DD friend (whose parents could not afford it- this child worked through high school to pay for her lunch money and band fees and stuff) I did not feel put out since that portion of the trip was essentially already allocated and it was just a name change.

The other friend invite didnt go so well. Invited DD boyfriend and they broke up during the trip and he went home early- this bill was also paid entirely by me.


Three: We are currently planning another trip in March and my youngest DD asked if she could invite a friend. I spoke to the mom. Told her we would like friend to join us but would need some help with tickets and airfare. Mom agreed and didnt seem offended at all. This is a single mom and it would take her a while to save the money so I gave her almost a year's notice. As it turns out there is a conflict with a school event and the time we have chosen to go, therefore she is not going.


Four: I am using my DVC points to pay for DD (1) friends to go on a Disney cruise with us. I am asking them to pay for airfare, tips, and excursions.


So as you can see I have done it in a variety of ways.

I enjoyed my mom and me trip. I've invited and paid the full bill and I've invited and asked for "co-pay".

Even when we invite my daughters friends for dinner, their parents always send them some money. Most of the time we just pay for the dinner but occasionally, when we have went out for Japaneese or a meal that landed us in the $150 dollar range I have asked the invited guest for $10 dollars or so towards the tip. This is just an understanding that myself and the parents of my daughters friends have and it works both ways.

Invitation or not. I dont feel guilty asking for "co-pay". I would call the parents, tell them that you are in the planning phase of another Disney trip. Tell them that you would love to have the kids along but would be unable to pay for the entire trip this time. Tell them what your plans are and then just ask for the money that you need. Let the parents decide if they are willing to pay for your offer of "babysitting".

 

[MickeyNicki]

We took our nieces on 2 trips, both were considered their Xmas gift, one a bit before Xmas and one a bit later but the kids understood and had no problem with that....can you do something like that?

If not this is what I would do:

Tell my sister I have no problem taking the girls to Disney again but I need some help $$ as other things have come up in life. I can pay for the hotel and food but you need to pay for the tickets and spending money.

I cannot see my sister saying no to me, I mean come on, this is a way of giving her a vacation from Mommyland too right?

 

[ppony]

Not exactly the same situation as you, but it reminded me of something my brother says almost every time we tell him we have another trip planned/are planning. He ALWAYS asks something like "when will we pick the kids up"; "just let us know what time and they'll be ready"; something to imply he wants them to come with us.

I think waiting for this to be asked is exactly what you need. I agree that they SHOULD offer something. I would! Actually, I wouldn't offer, I'd force it on you. But since I'm not them, , I'd wait for them to ask exactly what you just said above and take that opportunity to either say that this is going to be just you and your mom (which is TOTALLY cool and you're absolutely justified), or say you'd REALLY love to but just can't afford the extra expense this time. That puts the ball squarely where it needs to be. YOU haven't asked for anything . You didn't invite them this time. Not that you didn't want to and saying that you'd love to but can't afford it really makes THEM decide and possibly stop and think about things.
Good luck!!!!

 

[disneyfan55]

We've gone on may WDW with others. If someone else were taking my children to WDW, I wouldn't dream of having them pay. That's just me I guess. I guess their parents almost wait for you to say that you're going! I'm surprised they haven't wanted to go as well to enjoy their children visiting WDW. I find it really a shame that they haven't offered anything in regard to the children's visits to WDW, especially since they can more than afford it. It seems they have really been taking advantage of you and your mom all these years. I know you offered and paid and did enjoy being with children, but really I do feel you have been taken advantage somewhat. Just my thoughts and it wasn't just a trip or two from what you say. I would have that chat (before the kids know anything) about contributing to their own children's trip. Or just go with your mom alone! That's always fun, too. I did it one time with just my daughter (who's 32 now) but usually all of us go. Yes, the 'kids' still come with Mom! and a 2 yr. old grandson!!

 

[Tinkerbellie16]

Suze Orman would have something to say

If you want the kids to come but can't pay for it, you can absolutely tell their parents that you are willing to share the room with the children but can not afford the tickets, plane tickets, etc. this year and if they would like to pay for that, the kids could come with you. As a parent, if my beloved, trusted family members wanted to take my kids for a week, I would definitely spring for it if I could afford it! And if not, I would not look harshly upon the issue of paying - they are MY kids after all.

We keep buying and spending in this economy when we shouldn't and you are just being more responsible with your earnings.

 

[Mississippianna]

I really think you should just do the trip with your mom, stay at Beach Club and have a grown-ups trip. I kind of read into your posts that it's what you really want to do, anyway.

I'm planning a trip with my best friend, without our kids and husbands, for this December. While I'm so thrilled to go to the parks without a stroller and stay out late, I KNOW I'm going to miss my daughter and my friend will miss her son. But, in the end, going without kids this one time might be a once in a lifetime thing for us, and I am thrilled to go eat where I want without previewing what's on the kids' menu! There's a lot of pros to a grown-ups only trip! Sounds to me like you and your mom will have a blast!

 

[3Minnies1Mickey]

I think waiting for this to be asked is exactly what you need. I agree that they SHOULD offer something. I would! Actually, I wouldn't offer, I'd force it on you. But since I'm not them, , I'd wait for them to ask exactly what you just said above and take that opportunity to either say that this is going to be just you and your mom (which is TOTALLY cool and you're absolutely justified), or say you'd REALLY love to but just can't afford the extra expense this time. That puts the ball squarely where it needs to be. YOU haven't asked for anything . You didn't invite them this time. Not that you didn't want to and saying that you'd love to but can't afford it really makes THEM decide and possibly stop and think about things.
Good luck!!!!

I second this! You aren't inviting and you are making THEM responsible for the decision (if you decide not to do a mom/daughter trip).

 

[mickeyfreak13]

To be abrupt, but from a place of "been there, done that".

Do not let this trip be about anything but you and your mom.

Just let the parents know that times are difficult, they know this as well as anyone, and you cannot afford to pay for the kids. If the parents want to have a trip to WDW then they can take a trip of their own or they can cover the costs.


Like other posters I have taken DS-D BFF on trips. It was fun for all and would repeat the experience, when we can afford it.

Go have fun, no matter how big the party.

 

[Wonders10]

Thanks everyone for your replies - I had no idea my post would get so many people commenting.

This trip was booked a couple months ago, originally just for my mom and I. At some point one of us (my mom or I) will bring up the idea of taking the kids which is what happened this time as usual. I really think I'm going to take your advice (and my gut feeling) and just do a mom and me trip. And attempt a stay at the Beach Club - now that's a vacation! On top of that, I sometimes think that the kids have been too many times and it has lost the specialness for them, if that makes any sense. And they better appreciate it because eventually, I plan on having my own babies and taking them to WDW - there is no way I'll be taking my kids plus someone elses!

And if the time comes at some point for us to do a short trip (since we are 2-3 hours away), and we want the kids to come - I will definitely kindly ask if they could contribute to the tickets or something, assuming its not a special occasion (like their birthday - one year that was their gift - a weekend at Disney). And if they say no, then I guess no more disney for them until their parents take them - which will probably be never. They have come a couple times with us, for very short trips (like, 2 nights) and usually have fun but the idea of going there year after year, or even for more than a day or so is completely lost on them. They just don't "get it". And that's okay - they accept that "I do".

Thanks again for all of your replies and thoughts!

 

[ppony]

I just want to say that you sound like a VERY sweet and kind woman. A PERFECT Disney mom! Good luck when that blessed event happens.

Thanks everyone for your replies - I had no idea my post would get so many people commenting.

This trip was booked a couple months ago, originally just for my mom and I. At some point one of us (my mom or I) will bring up the idea of taking the kids which is what happened this time as usual. I really think I'm going to take your advice (and my gut feeling) and just do a mom and me trip. And attempt a stay at the Beach Club - now that's a vacation! On top of that, I sometimes think that the kids have been too many times and it has lost the specialness for them, if that makes any sense. And they better appreciate it because eventually, I plan on having my own babies and taking them to WDW - there is no way I'll be taking my kids plus someone elses!

And if the time comes at some point for us to do a short trip (since we are 2-3 hours away), and we want the kids to come - I will definitely kindly ask if they could contribute to the tickets or something, assuming its not a special occasion (like their birthday - one year that was their gift - a weekend at Disney). And if they say no, then I guess no more disney for them until their parents take them - which will probably be never. They have come a couple times with us, for very short trips (like, 2 nights) and usually have fun but the idea of going there year after year, or even for more than a day or so is completely lost on them. They just don't "get it". And that's okay - they accept that "I do".

Thanks again for all of your replies and thoughts!

 

[Wonders10]

I just want to say that you sound like a VERY sweet and kind woman. A PERFECT Disney mom! Good luck when that blessed event happens.

Aww thanks , at 30 I am already feeling my biological clock ticking and I feel like I am surrounded by pregnant women. I sort of feel like Tina Fey's character in "Baby Mama" sometimes. But I know I have time, and will eventually find my prince charming laughing and have lots of (well, maybe 2-3) disney babies!

 

[skipperkim]

I have to agree with most and say it's time for a Mom and Me trip for you guys. I have taken one of my DS's friends to WDW, but in all fairness his parents took my child on their vacation too and didn't ask for any $. That said I'm sure I put out more, but it was worth it to have my DS's friend around so I didn't have to constantly entertain him. FYI: they were 17 at the time. We had a 2 bedroom at OKW and were on a dining plan that included all meals and lots of tours and La Nouba. They had a great time, as did I. It's something they still talk about and know just how good the food is there. Though I didn't pay for his souvenirs. He even surprised me by wanting his pic taken with Belle.

 

[cm8]

I would keep this trip for just you and your mom. But if you decide to invite the kids, I agree with the PP who said it should be contingent on their parents paying for the tickets.

 

[momof2gr8kids]

I'm assuming you & your mom buy Christmas and birthday presents for the kids. If you wanted to take them and the parents don't want to fork out any $$ towards the trip, can you buy the tickets as a joint present?

My kids are 9 and 5 and they have been saving their $ from extra chores and birthdays towards some of their spending $ at Disney. Even the Easter Bunny brought some disney spending $. I think there is plenty of time from now until June that if you want to take the kids and the parents are on board it shouldn't be too much of a problem for them to come up with the $$.

 

[tlbwriter]

I'm glad you're taking the Me & Mom trip - that was my vote.

Also, I'm surprised that so many people think it's inappropriate to invite someone and ask them to help pay. If someone invited my child on an expensive trip, I would absolutely offer to pay *something*.

I don't think there's any reason to call the parents and say "Mom and I are going to WDW but your kids aren't invited." If they do ask if the kids are invited, or why they're not, I'd say "You know I love taking your kids, but I really can't afford it any more."

 

[disneyfan55]

I'm glad you're taking the Me & Mom trip - that was my vote.

Also, I'm surprised that so many people think it's inappropriate to invite someone and ask them to help pay. If someone invited my child on an expensive trip, I would absolutely offer to pay *something*.

I don't think there's any reason to call the parents and say "Mom and I are going to WDW but your kids aren't invited." If they do ask if the kids are invited, or why they're not, I'd say "You know I love taking your kids, but I really can't afford it any more."

Exactly! Truly, I can't believe that all the years you took the kids no offer of paying for really much was ever made. They should be so happy that you are even offering to bring the children, let alone foot the entire cost!

 

[Cinderaven]

Hello, we have taken our nephew once and had his parents pay for the tickets and for most of his food. No problem, we paid for some of things like meals etc... for him. (They were 14 yrs. old) Picked up the slack so to say.

We also took my sons friend and went to WDW for 10 days and Universal Studios for several. Mom paid for tickets and for most of his spending money. He was working and we made him use his money to pay for the things that he wanted and to only spend his moms money if he ran short. (they were 16 yrs. oldat the time) We had control of moms money so he wouldn't spen foolishly.

Everything work out for the better. The boys learned about the cost of things and self support, and the parents were more than happy to send their children on a once in a lifetime trip for them.

It was a great time for everyone.

 

[snykymom]

I'm glad you're taking the Me & Mom trip - that was my vote.

Also, I'm surprised that so many people think it's inappropriate to invite someone and ask them to help pay. If someone invited my child on an expensive trip, I would absolutely offer to pay *something*.

I don't think there's any reason to call the parents and say "Mom and I are going to WDW but your kids aren't invited." If they do ask if the kids are invited, or why they're not, I'd say "You know I love taking your kids, but I really can't afford it any more."

I wouldn't say you can't afford it this time. Then they might say, "Oh, we'll pay their tickets" and there goes the Mom & Me trip. I think it's perfectly acceptable to say this time, "Sorry, but this is just for Mom & me so we can have some good adult time together."

Then, on the next trip, if you want to take the kids, you can broach the subject. Who knows what the economy will be by then, or even if you still want to take them and they still want to go!

 

[Sparkie]

enjoy your mom and me trip

my mom and i still talk about things that we did on our trip. it was especially good memories when the very next christmas i watched her struggle for her life on a breathing tube. you only have your parents for a short time..... go make some memories