Article: "Why American Kids are Brats"

[Planogirl]

From what I hear, Parisiennes are rude but other French people are much different. I don't know.

As for rudeness, I think that people in general are getting worse and worse. Kids learn from their parents.

 

[mamacatnv]

Funny, I didn't zero in on the French factor. I figure parents the world over can raise monster children. What I "heard" in this article to me had nothing to do with being French and everything to do with teaching ones child that the world does not revolve around them and only them

 

[kimblebee]

You mean there is a big province next to mine where people speak French ?!? and additional areas of French speaking communities throughout the country ?!? Never heard of such a thing. I assume your comment was in jest No, neither family is Quebecois, or French Canadian.

Not sure why I am getting snarkiness from you

Lots of people, myself included, would not be able to tell just by listening to someone speak french where they are from.

 

[Buckalew11]

Funny, I didn't zero in on the French factor. I figure parents the world over can raise monster children. What I "heard" in this article to me had nothing to do with being French and everything to do with teaching ones child that the world does not revolve around them and only them

I saw it this way also.

 

[furb & dez]

So... the most spoiled generation (Boomers) has kids whom they spoil (Gen-X), and their grandkids (millennials) are turning out to be spoiled?


Well, I'm just so shocked!

 

[Southernmiss]

So... the most spoiled generation (Boomers) has kids whom they spoil (Gen-X), and their grandkids (millennials) are turning out to be spoiled?


Well, I'm just so shocked!

Haven't we heard stories about every older generation in lots of different cultures (going back many, many years) thinking the younger one was lazy, disrespectful and all those other things?

Parents and the older generations have the opportunity and responsibility to raise polite, productive citizens. Are we meeting those challenges as a whole? Have things really drastically changed in the last few years?

 

[Becky2005]

Haven't we heard stories about every older generation in lots of different cultures (going back many, many years) thinking the younger one was lazy, disrespectful and all those other things?

Parents and the older generations have the opportunity and responsibility to raise polite, productive citizens. Are we meeting those challenges as a whole? Have things really drastically changed in the last few years?

I remember reading (might have even been on these boards) -- a complaint about "kids these days" and no date was given then it was revealed it was something from I don't know 1800's? 1900's? basically a very long time ago with the same complaints about the younger generation and that the world is falling apart.

Although...I have to laugh about the generation listing -- once again...I'm in the "no name" generation. I have no idea where we fit in there -- too young to be a Boomer & too old to be a Gen-Xer.

I always read this stuff and go hmm...basically similar to the ones that told me "you should talk to your baby even if they can't talk"...wow! I never realized people go without talking at all to their children. I have to assume the parents never say Please or Thank You to the children either.

I will admit I'm not the best one for manners -- I still don't get the standing up on the bus thing but I'm weird like that but the Please, Thank You are there.

I don't get my DD texting all the time but my mom never understood me talking for HOURS to my friend on the phone either even after we spent all day in school with each other, rode the same bus & then would talk forever on the phone.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I tend to agree with the article. As a Canadian, my impression of Americans in general is that everyone looks out for #1 no matter what you have to do.

Please and Thank You goes a long way.

You can see it on this board as well, I will take my son into the women's bathroom I don't care if someone else's child is made uncomfortable about it. I will always flush the toilet with my foot my hands are precious everyone else can touch what ever muck my shoes have picked up. That is just two I can think of off the top of my head.

 

[Imzadi]

Now, for the article to say we need to model ourselves after the French, I have to disagree. My family hosted a French exchange student. She was the rudest person I have ever met in my life.

[QUOTE="Got Disney";44077585]it is said that the French...from France... are very rude...the ones I have met have been...but I will not of course paint them all with a broad brush.....but that part I don't agree with that all the French are well behaved and polite.......[/QUOTE]

I totally agree. The author said:

"But it is true that French kids can be a whole lot more pleasant to be around than our own. They’re more polite. They’re better socialized. They generally get with the program; they help out when called upon to do so, and they don’t demand special treatment."

If that is so, then how and WHEN do they turn into some of the rudest, arrogant, snooty adult snobs in the world? The only people the France French hate more than Americans are the Brits.

I've been to Paris & have worked with many French transplants, here for years. I find many other ethnicities are far more polite & considerate than the French people I have met.

To me, this article was about the French superiority to the uncultured American barbarians. I frankly had to wonder WHO the heck she hangs out with that ALL her examples were of self absorbed, inconsiderate people? And where is her personal accountability to get herself some better mannered friends. She certainly had on a pair of rose colored glasses in her view of the French.

Are there people and children like what she pointed out? Yes. But, I think she picked extreme examples. There are also very kind & considerate, generous, thoughtful ones too. I'm sure not every child on that school bus had the same reaction. Plus, it was the mom who made the selfish comment. Her child, probably like many others may have been appalled, alarmed and empathetic when the child had a panic attack.

Does the author speak about those children? No. It doesn't serve her point or perceptions that the French are superior.

 

[leebee]

Working in a school, I see SO many rude, self-centered kids and the parents who made them that way. I totally get what the author means, even about French kids. We've spent a fair amount of time in France, and the kids we've stayed with have always been polite, responsible, and can carry on a conversation. Very few own cell phones, much less think it's acceptable behavior to sit at the dinner table, texting away. There are SO many differences between American children and European children, mostly IMO because American children are over-indulged and have an overdeveloped sense of self-esteem. No, snowflake, it's NOT all about YOU, all the time.

 

[ford family]

We travel a great deal (currently in Bali) but only really come into contact with American children at WDW where kids of all ages seem well behaved if excited. However, we do meet a lot of American adults either when we are at our Florida vacation home or travelling or when we are cruising. We have noticed a lack of good manners and common courtesy from many of them.

I always hold a door open but expect a smile or a nod of appreciation or even a thankyou but rarely get it. We were in a lift on a cruise ship recently and three American middle aged women got in. As I was next to the buttons I looked quizzically at them and one barked "nine". I paused and then said "and what is the magic word?" to their complete astonishment. I did get a disgruntled "please".

We live in the UK so are very used to the French with whom we have no problem. However, in general, the rudest people we meet are the Chinese and the Quebecois.

No doubt rude adults create rude children and this whole "entitlement" mentality has been building for years. I first started visiting the US in the early 1970s for both business and leisure and have seen a huge detrimental change in the intervening years. I have my own theories as to why this has occured but have no wish to make any political comment. Suffice it to say that if you establish an environment with poorly defined boundaries and little or no sanctions then you get what you deserve.

We leave tonight for our first visit to Australia. Over the coming weeks it will be interesting to see how their culture has developed and if they still remember their basic manners.

ford family

 

[jujube]

When we were kids in the 60s, having good manners was very important-we even had classes! It seems from what I've seen that sometime in the late 70s/early 80s, people began to think that etiquette was old fashioned and uncool. My kids have been taught good manners. I'm sure there have been times when they have not used them but I do get compliments from others on my kid's behavior.
Good manners= being considerate of other people-simple

 

[iwrbnd]

I live in a small Midwestern town and I do not see that here. I'm a teacher and interact with many children from different backgrounds and the majority of them and their parents are polite and respectful. There are some rude people of course, but they exist everywhere. Why is it that we Americans have a tendency to put ourselves down while glorifying other cultures? We are all just people in this world with our own strengths and weaknesses.

I'm glad to hear the author has had such a good impression of French families. I've never been there before, but many of my traveling friends come back from Europe saying France was the rudest country they visited.

As for my family, the phrase heard most in our house is, "Think of others". We've been pounding it into our four kids since practically birth. They aren't perfect, but they are usually helpful and respectable. Their friends are just as considerate so I don't think my kids are much different. (And one of them is aspergers but has still learned how to treat others)

I saw an article once about how awful the younger generation was and it seemed like it had been written today, but in actuality it had been written hundreds of years ago! We need to keep teaching and training our children, but I'm convinced American kids aren't the worst of the bunch. They are just in the bunch learning, like everyone else!

 

[badblackpug]

Funny, I didn't zero in on the French factor. I figure parents the world over can raise monster children. What I "heard" in this article to me had nothing to do with being French and everything to do with teaching ones child that the world does not revolve around them and only them

This is what I got, too. I think too many people are being too concrete about the "please and thank you" thing and about the American vs. French thing. I don't think that was the point of the article. I think too many people think that the world should revolve around children, and not just their children, children in general. I think we, as parents do our children a disservice by making them think that the world must be adjusted to them and not the other way around. This is raising self centered children who cannot adapt to their environment.

I think what the author is saying is that many children can parrot "please" and "thank you" at the appropriate moments, but are lacking in true understanding that their actions effect others. Many other cultures do not put children 1st. They do not see them as delicate little snowflakes that need to be protected. If they don't like want what is for dinner they will survive if they skip the meal. They won't be forever scarred if they don't get to play in the little league game or if they don't get chosen for the school play. They don't adapt their life to their kids, their kids learn to adapt to them.

Think of some of the threads on the Dis alone....

 

[ChrisFL]

I think what the author is saying is that many children can parrot "please" and "thank you" at the appropriate moments, but are lacking in true understanding that their actions effect others. Many other cultures do not put children 1st. They do not see them as delicate little snowflakes that need to be protected. If they don't like want what is for dinner they will survive if they skip the meal. They won't be forever scarred if they don't get to play in the little league game or if they don't get chosen for the school play. They don't adapt their life to their kids, their kids learn to adapt to them.

I agree with this...now I have MANY thoughts on this subject and I could go on for hours, but I just wanted to mention this point.

The cultures I've seen in my travels, mostly to Asia, are much more community or family based. Pride comes in pleasing your elders, and carrying on your family's reputation among who you interact with (on the most basic level).

Here, whether it's marketing, or media, or whatever, "youth" culture seems to be much more of what people aspire to being than looking up to their elders.

 

[eliza61]

Also, I think that some times Cultural differences are some times seen as "rudeness".

For example, as a general rule when you enter into any store or restaurant in France, you give a hearty "Bonjour". heck even on the buses in Paris when you get on people simple say "good day". Here in the states, that would seem really weird.

Another example is here in the States we expect waiters to be very attentive and come back every so often to check on us but in some places in Europe (lisbon and Paris that I know of) that's considered rude, sort of like you are trying to "rush" the patron out of your establishment.

 

[iwrbnd]

I've been thinking a lot about this and I think sometimes we, as adults, forget how we acted as teenagers/kids. I am a polite adult that thinks of other people's feelings before my own and thought I had always been like that. Then I found my teenage diary. Omg! The things I thought and wrote about were awful, rude, self-centered, narcissist, spoiled, etc!!!! I threw it away so fast so nobody would ever see it! It was a gift, though, because the following year my then 15 year old went through a "the world revolves around me" stage. It probably saved my son's life that I had a little more remembering and understanding during that year! He's now 18 and is a wonderful, caring and considerate adult.

One other thing about that year my son was 15 that makes me laugh and opens my eyes. I was complaining to my mom about his attitude and was thinking that if he grew up on a farm like she did he would be too busy and socially isolated to get in trouble. My mom laughed and said she remembers my uncle as a teen chasing my grandpa across their Kansas farm with a 2x4 because he didn't want to bale hay! Lol! Now, the reason that is funny is because my mom practically grew up in a perfect "Waltons" type of family and my uncle is now a very nice, successful business and family man!

We need to make sure our kids have rules and high expectations for their behavior, but when we see some being "jerks" we need to give them some grace and know we all were probably jerks in our lifetime, too. It's not an excuse, they need to be corrected, but just a reminder not to write off the next generation as awful!

I'm not advocating a "they will grow out of it" attitude because many won't without discipline, love, and respect. We need to keep our expectations high, model right behavior, and give consequences when necessary and they will mature into wonderful people.

I find most Americans to be honest, hard-working, and very giving people. I've been humbled and brought to tears many times by the kindness of my friends and by complete strangers.

 

[Rabscuttle]

Haven't we heard stories about every older generation in lots of different cultures (going back many, many years) thinking the younger one was lazy, disrespectful and all those other things?

Parents and the older generations have the opportunity and responsibility to raise polite, productive citizens. Are we meeting those challenges as a whole? Have things really drastically changed in the last few years?

They may have. I was listening to Charles Murray, a social scientist, discuss his book the other day. He pointed out that years ago, despite income level, most Americans had similar values. Words like "unseemly" have vanished from our vocabulary. He noted very wealthy people in his town that could have built the biggest house, bought the best car, had ten cars, but overall, didn't do it because such an obviously display of wealth would be "unseemly". We are a much courser society. The language that my grandparents would have fainted over, is common place today. TV shows show parents are idiots needing to be educated by their incredible children. Kids growing up in the 50s and 60s had three networks and the FCC; now cable and DVDs and the internet provide unlimited examples of "how not to live".