willowsnn3
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2009
Listener
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Controversial Topics
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Are You A Listener Or A Talker?
- Thread starter Saphire
- Start date
DeaverTex
Opinionated Texan cheapskate who loves Disney.
- Joined
- May 25, 2011
Around people I know, I tend to talk too much. This post is a perfect example, I guess. I have to make an effort not to monopolize a conversation.
But if I'm around a lone non-related, unmarried female, of just about any age, then for SOME reason I come across as the perfect listener. I've been told things that they wouldn't tell their therapist or their gynecologist, and I've been this way since college. (And no, I ain't tellin!)
I guess they think I'm safe, which is fine and kind of sweet now that I'm 61 and happily married for nearly 37 years. It really sucked, though, when I was an unattached 20 year old college student. The last thing an unattached 20 year old American man wants to hear is, "You're just like a brother!". I really hated it when they'd pour out their boyfriend problems, the most common of which was, "He never listens to me." As I sat there for an hour or more, letting her cry on my shoulder and pour out her troubles.
Thank you, Mrs. Tex, for never thinking of me as a brother.
But if I'm around a lone non-related, unmarried female, of just about any age, then for SOME reason I come across as the perfect listener. I've been told things that they wouldn't tell their therapist or their gynecologist, and I've been this way since college. (And no, I ain't tellin!)
I guess they think I'm safe, which is fine and kind of sweet now that I'm 61 and happily married for nearly 37 years. It really sucked, though, when I was an unattached 20 year old college student. The last thing an unattached 20 year old American man wants to hear is, "You're just like a brother!". I really hated it when they'd pour out their boyfriend problems, the most common of which was, "He never listens to me." As I sat there for an hour or more, letting her cry on my shoulder and pour out her troubles.
Thank you, Mrs. Tex, for never thinking of me as a brother.
momof1princess
<font color=darkorchid>i feel like i'm going to ex
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2005
Talker...the worst kind of talker - I interrupt....I have struggled with for years...I'm better but I still catch myself interrupting; it's like I hear myself talking and think shut up shut up...but I keep babbling
i could have written this post myself! i drive myself crazy doing that! i try SOOOOO hard to be a good listener, then the person who's talking will say something and it will remind me of an interesting fact or funny story, and i feel like i'm going to explode if i don't get it out right that second!
i've been working REALLY hard on this the past few months, and i hope and pray i'm getting better about it. i hate it.
Mandychelle79
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2007
Due to my chosen nursing specialty ( psych) I feel that I am an even split. But if it a topic I am passionate about I will talk and talk talk.
snapppyd
God is Great, Beer is Good and People are Crazy!
- Joined
- May 11, 2009
Talker...the worst kind of talker - I interrupt....I have struggled with for years...I'm better but I still catch myself interrupting; it's like I hear myself talking and think shut up shut up...but I keep babbling
I think we are long lost twins. I constantly interrupt my DH, finish his sentences, etc. I think it's a nervous tic kind of thing
I think of myself as a talker. I'm a classic extrovert, so I'm always reaching out for people - when I walk into a room I'm calling out "hey" to everyone and am always anxious to start conversations.
People always describe me as a great listener though. Like a few others have mentioned complete strangers will tell me their deepest secrets right off the bat ( the breakfast waitress had a baby as a teen and her parents raised it as their own; the clerk at the 7-11 thinks she should leave her husband; the insurance salesman has been abusive towards his wife, etc....)
So not sure where I stand on the talker/listener spectrum. I guess a mixture of both but what it boils down to is I really enjoy people and do whichever it takes to connect with others.
People always describe me as a great listener though. Like a few others have mentioned complete strangers will tell me their deepest secrets right off the bat ( the breakfast waitress had a baby as a teen and her parents raised it as their own; the clerk at the 7-11 thinks she should leave her husband; the insurance salesman has been abusive towards his wife, etc....)
So not sure where I stand on the talker/listener spectrum. I guess a mixture of both but what it boils down to is I really enjoy people and do whichever it takes to connect with others.
Pikester
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2006
I'm mostly a listener because I tend to be shy around people I don't know (except at Disney 
). If I know you then I talk but not a lot. I too have the problem of interrupting because I think you are done talking and I'm trying to get out what is on my mind before I forget it. What I really try not to do is be a "one upper". That person who when you are telling a story has done something or whose kids have done something not only like you or your kids but one better. Sometimes it's hard to know where the line is on that because you want to share that you know how they feel but you don't want to hog their moment.
). If I know you then I talk but not a lot. I too have the problem of interrupting because I think you are done talking and I'm trying to get out what is on my mind before I forget it. What I really try not to do is be a "one upper". That person who when you are telling a story has done something or whose kids have done something not only like you or your kids but one better. Sometimes it's hard to know where the line is on that because you want to share that you know how they feel but you don't want to hog their moment.
lizabu
Disney Maniac
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2011
I'm definitely a listener. I too have had many people even strangers tell me everything. I guess I just look kind and understanding. I used to work in a convenience store and often had trouble moving people along. People just have an urge to spill their guts to me.
I grew up in a house of non-stop talkers and I have to agree...it's exhausting. If you are a social talker that's fine but there is a type of talker that just talks and talks and doesn't let the other person get a word in and doesn't realize they've lost their audience. In my house growing up I lived with 3 of them all talking at once and not listening to the other. I started a bad habit to pretend to be listening when it feels like someone is talking too much because all that information is just a little overwhelming. Now that I'm no longer in my parents home I try not to do that but every once in a while my kids bust me pretending to listen (basically if you say uh-huh in the right places it sounds like you're listening). I still have to do it on the phone with my Mom or sister though. Its not like I can get a word in to say I have to go. I've had to go to the bathroom before and set the phone down and left the room and came back and picked it up and they never even noticed I was gone.
I grew up in a house of non-stop talkers and I have to agree...it's exhausting. If you are a social talker that's fine but there is a type of talker that just talks and talks and doesn't let the other person get a word in and doesn't realize they've lost their audience. In my house growing up I lived with 3 of them all talking at once and not listening to the other. I started a bad habit to pretend to be listening when it feels like someone is talking too much because all that information is just a little overwhelming. Now that I'm no longer in my parents home I try not to do that but every once in a while my kids bust me pretending to listen (basically if you say uh-huh in the right places it sounds like you're listening). I still have to do it on the phone with my Mom or sister though. Its not like I can get a word in to say I have to go. I've had to go to the bathroom before and set the phone down and left the room and came back and picked it up and they never even noticed I was gone.
rlduvall
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- May 7, 2002
Talker...the worst kind of talker - I interrupt....I have struggled with for years...I'm better but I still catch myself interrupting; it's like I hear myself talking and think shut up shut up...but I keep babbling
Me, too.
And it's something I have to consciously work on. Nice to know there's so many of us. We should have an annual meeting at WDW for "Interruptors Anonymous", but who would be the main speaker? 
Me: Hi, my name is Rhonda and I am an Interr . . .
Other: I once knew someone named Rhonda who was an Interr . . .
Other: But being an interruptor is not necessarily a bad . . .
Other: When I was twelve . . .
suzimar57
Miss my Happy Place.
- Joined
- May 7, 2000
i'm a listener - but everyone in my life is a talker...
non-stop talkers
i don't think my mother, sister, friend, father or (sometimes) husband has heard a word i've said in the past 15 years....
(but in truth, i'm not really listening to any of them either most of the time!
)
i'm usually daydreaming of my "happy place" once they start to blather on and on and on and on and on...
non-stop talkers
i don't think my mother, sister, friend, father or (sometimes) husband has heard a word i've said in the past 15 years....
(but in truth, i'm not really listening to any of them either most of the time!
)i'm usually daydreaming of my "happy place" once they start to blather on and on and on and on and on...
dizluvah
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2008
Me, too.
Me: Hi, my name is Rhonda and I am an Interr . . .
Other: I once knew someone named Rhonda who was an Interr . . .
Other: But being an interruptor is not necessarily a bad . . .
Other: When I was twelve . . .
LOVE this
ZephyrHawk
Confirmed Disneyphile
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2007
I have to make a conscious effort to listen to people, but I can do it.
I do interrupt, but only at work. In other words, I would never interrupt someone telling their life story, but I will interrupt my boss when he's taking a minute to explain a 10 second concept. It's still a bad habit.
I do interrupt, but only at work. In other words, I would never interrupt someone telling their life story, but I will interrupt my boss when he's taking a minute to explain a 10 second concept. It's still a bad habit.
momof1princess
<font color=darkorchid>i feel like i'm going to ex
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2005
i could have written this post myself! i drive myself crazy doing that! i try SOOOOO hard to be a good listener, then the person who's talking will say something and it will remind me of an interesting fact or funny story, and i feel like i'm going to explode if i don't get it out right that second!
sorry to resurrect a sort-of "zombie" thread, but i'm so proud that this post got me my first tag!
it only took 7 years! THANK YOU, TAG FAIRY!
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