Are there no more Best Man and Maid of Honor Toasts at a wedding?

[mr.bungle]

I HOPE, HOPE, HOPE that you did not have kids in that first marriage with that attitude. I don't know a kid out there that doesn't feel that divorce is "taboo" - this is their FAMILY you are talking about.

And I guess 39 is "older" to some....and I am from Michigan, so Midwest is correct...not super religious, but I will never hesitate to make sure MY kids do not grow up the same way I did: with divorced parents who cared more about themselves than their kids/family.

And BTW...divorce rates for 2nd marriages are higher than firsts. The biggest reason cited more often than not is because the two "participants" in the 2nd marriage are on their 2nd marriage for a reason - and it isn't usually because they were team players.

Well I guess you're just better than me.

 

[SEA333]

Well I guess you're just better than me.

No intent to make you feel bad.

However, off-the-cuff remarks like you made disturb me....there are real people involved in divorce - especially when there are children.

 

[mr.bungle]

No intent to make you feel bad.

However, off-the-cuff remarks like you made disturb me....there are real people involved in divorce - especially when there are children.

I don't feel bad from you. I'm just confused. Now you're saying I'm not a real person? I was involved in a divorce so then I'm a lesser person according to you? One of the points I made in a previous post was my prediction that younger generations, being as frivolous as they are with everything, won't take marriage/divorce as seriously as other generations. And thus, it will be more commonplace.
But at the same time, my peer group, while treating it seriously, still has more divorces than folks older than us. And of course many people came on here to disprove my personal observations and stats based off my peer group and geographical area.

Now, I haven't mentioned anything about kids and you're frisking out s little and crying "what about the children?!?"

Of course divorce has an impact on children. But so does living in a house where mom and dad are staying together "for the kids" when they shouldn't. Not that it is any of your business but I do not have children of my own. However, I am seeing a child close to me go through the difficulty of his parents divorce. But the issue in this situation is not the act of divorce; it's that his dad is a deadbeat who won't dedicate the time to be a parent to his child and therefore the child acts out. This was happening when the parents were still married. Dad didn't want to be around so he wasn't. It's a far more positive situation now that mom and dad have split up. Mom is happy, kids are generally happier with some issues being worked out and dad is basically not in the picture in a negative capacity. Granted the kid wants to be with his dad, yes. But as I circle back around, this issue is not a product of the divorce. It's the product of a selfish father.

Ok, so anything else you'd like to presume about me?

 

[SEA333]

I don't feel bad from you. I'm just confused. Now you're saying I'm not a real person? I was involved in a divorce so then I'm a lesser person according to you? One of the points I made in a previous post was my prediction that younger generations, being as frivolous as they are with everything, won't take marriage/divorce as seriously as other generations. And thus, it will be more commonplace.
But at the same time, my peer group, while treating it seriously, still has more divorces than folks older than us. And of course many people came on here to disprove my personal observations and stats based off my peer group and geographical area.

Now, I haven't mentioned anything about kids and you're frisking out s little and crying "what about the children?!?"

Of course divorce has an impact on children. But so does living in a house where mom and dad are staying together "for the kids" when they shouldn't. Not that it is any of your business but I do not have children of my own. However, I am seeing a child close to me go through the difficulty of his parents divorce. But the issue in this situation is not the act of divorce; it's that his dad is a deadbeat who won't dedicate the time to be a parent to his child and therefore the child acts out. This was happening when the parents were still married. Dad didn't want to be around so he wasn't. It's a far more positive situation now that mom and dad have split up. Mom is happy, kids are generally happier with some issues being worked out and dad is basically not in the picture in a negative capacity. Granted the kid wants to be with his dad, yes. But as I circle back around, this issue is not a product of the divorce. It's the product of a selfish father.

Ok, so anything else you'd like to presume about me?

Not all all. Thanks for clearing all of that up. I was hoping kids were not involved in your divorce or your "interesting" point of view that you gave off to everyone before clearing it all up with this post. So my mind is definitely at ease now.

No insinuation at all that you are not real...just insinuating that your casual (perceived my me in your off-the-cuff remarks) attitude that the families involved in a divorce situation don't have a vested emotional interest in an institution that you seemed (before you cleared everything up) to take very lightly.

Oh...there I go presuming again. Sorry.

 

[mr.bungle]

Not all all. Thanks for clearing all of that up. I was hoping kids were not involved in your divorce or your "interesting" point of view that you gave off to everyone before clearing it all up with this post. So my mind is definitely at ease now.

No insinuation at all that you are not real...just insinuating that your casual (perceived my me in your off-the-cuff remarks) attitude that the families involved in a divorce situation don't have a vested emotional interest in an institution that you seemed (before you cleared everything up) to take very lightly.

Oh...there I go presuming again. Sorry.

I think you enjoy reading things how you wish to perceive them; not how they are intended to be read.

 

[Squishypig]

I didn't have BM or MOH speeches at either one of my weddings. At my first, the FOG gave the speech at the rehearsal dinner and my second the FOG gave a short speech at both the rehearsal dinner (more personal) and reception (less personal but still celebratory). That was it. Speeches are not the norm at weddings that I have been to though. Like a previous poster said, in the south receptions tend to be less formal and the set up doesn't always lend itself to speeches.

And being as I am divorced, I have found that like people tend to flock to like people. As in those who are going through the same thing. When I divorced in my early 20s, I gravitated to other divorced or single people because we were all going through the same thing and understood the struggle. So my real life sample at the time was highly skewed to divorced. Now I am remarried tend to gravitate to other marrieds (reconnecting with a lot of those long married friends). Even though there is a recent trend of divorce among this group, it is still quite low compared to my old group.