Anyone travel with extended family?

[imheather]

My SIL and I have both been on two cruises. We are in the begining stages of planning one together with the inlaws who have never cruised, as well as some other family members. I am nervous about traveling with so many people. Has anyone done it? Did you love/hate it?? What are your thoughts?


nervous nelly in NJ

 

[PrincessBelle39]

Not on a cruise but our last trip to WDW and also DL were with extended family and we also travelled to Queensland with them. Definitely wouldn't do it again. But then every family is different.

 

[kristy07keith]

My first disney cruise was with 17 people. My grandparents took us on a land and sea for a christmas gift. There were 10 adults and 7 children. It was very extended family. It was fine, Because we did what we wanted. When we were at WDW we never seen each other. My DH, brother, Brother's girlfriend and I were always together. We had breakfast with the grandparents at wdw one day. Then once we got on the boat, we all did our own thing again. We really only seen each other at dinner. Worked out nice for us, we all chatted about what we did that day and what we had planned for the next and then went off our separate ways. Worked for us, but like someone else said "every family is different".

 

[xsjackson]

We have not done a cruise yet - dec 2008 is our first - but my sisters, husbands, mom, dad, kids, and my in-laws have done this '95, 2000, 2005, and now in 2008. I am the organizer and it is not easy. We will be 16 in 6 rooms for the cruise and 18 in 5 rooms for 5 days at wdw afterwards. The first 3 times it was Thanksgiving. Easy family time and still hard to organize with all the different expectations and tastes.

We have a few rules. Only one meal a day. We come to an understanding of a list of twice as many restaurants as we can reserve. So no one can say they didn't want that one. My youngest sister is a vegetarian and of a diffesrent generation than me - she is in her 30s and I am in my late 40s. My kids are teens in high school and college, hers are preschoolers. I have 3 sisters and getting a consensus on anything can be a challenge.

Just make sure everything is up front and all options are on the table. It is hard with us living from Seattle to Virginia but we make it work, over and over again. One of my sisters has cruised with me before but nobody but my family has done it more than once. I am actually looking forward to showing them how much fun a Disney cruise can be with ages 74 - 4.

I say that and I still love my family. I send a note out every 2-3 weeks with information and keep in touch through text messaging and the internet. Having the same expectations is soooo important.

 

[Nik's Mom]

We have cruised and went to WDW with a party of 15 family members. It was fun, but som of my dh's family was slow to get going on the port day (Bahamas). It really got on my nerves because dh didn't want to leave without them. Other than that, we had a great time!

 

[slk]

Our cruise which was just this past May was with in-laws and extended
family. We had 14 total (including 6 kids). We have done so many
vacations together including many years at the beach and WDW and
had such a great time together. We all get along so well but this was
a first cruise for all of us and it was awesome We all met
for dinner. Sometimes we would see them at breakfast or by the pools.
We didn't necessarily stay together when we got off the boat either.
It just depended on what we were doing. The kids kinda did their own
thing too - met many new kids on boat. Normally we (the adults) would
hang together on the 9th or 10th deck late at night and just talk and
have a good time I was sort of the group "travel advisor" and I guess
I did okay since they all want to come back with us on the next one!

 

[MagicMe]

I've cruised with extended family twice. First time was with 20 and the second time was with 15. Both times we had a blast!! We didn't try to "stay together" but often ran into each other all over the ship or at CC. We did link our cabins so we had dinner together every night.

I would do it again anytime. In fact, my extended family is going on another 4-day this month but I couldn't afford to join them as I had already booked a 7-day in September (BTW, the Sep cruise was just slightly more than the 4-day cruise would have cost me).

 

[imheather]

I am afraid that my inlaws are going to want us to be with them 24/7. I feel my time will be doing things they would enjoy. They would never go on a Disney cruise by themselves so they would be going just to be with us, so do I owe it to them to hang with them most of the time???

???

 

[mommasita]

I am afraid that my inlaws are going to want us to be with them 24/7. I feel my time will be doing things they would enjoy. They would never go on a Disney cruise by themselves so they would be going just to be with us, so do I owe it to them to hang with them most of the time???

???

Personally I would just discuss all this before booking. When we cruised with SIL and BIL (another story altogether) we discussed that we would do own own thing during the day, and eat supper together nightly. Dinner was our only "must do" together. Sometimes our activities interacted, but very rarely..

 

[Zibeth]

Last fall our family cruised with 53 of us in 17 staterooms and had an absolute blast! We were the guests of our darling matriarch, Grandma Tic Toc, and cruised as a "farewell" tribute to her. She was 90 at the time and spending our inheritance on one big party. It did take a great deal of planning to transport that many people of such widely varying ages (18 months - 90 years young) and to make sure that everyone had their own time and space as well as the together time we all wanted. Our only standing appointment with each other was at dinner each night and even then some bugged out to do their own thing. We had a "sign-up" sheet of 4-hour blocks for "Grandma Time" and each took our turn sporting her from event to event. Everyone arranged their own shore excursions and special reservations and we ran into each other aboard ship constantly. We put out our own "Family Navigator" and distributed it at the hotel the night before boarding. We arranged transport to and from the port as a group and all used the same travel agent who was spectacular in linking all our reservations! The Disney group was outstanding with our large party and my mother in particular was treated like an absolute queen. You must, must have a sense of humor and it helps to like your family a lot! I know we will forever treasure those Magical memories.

 

[disfrog]

Did it sort of. ... we travel with our friends and their extended family. 11 last time we did a Disney Cruise (2005 Mexico). Doing the Panama Repositioning Cruise with 16 this time. We had a blast. We ate Dinner together and enjoyed shows together. Some excursions were as a group and some were on our own...so we had more stories to tell.

 

[sandiegosusie]

We did a family reunion aboard the Wonder two years ago. There were 25 of us total. We had 8 staterooms so we qualified for the group rate through Disney. We used Costco, never again...The biggest issue was my DH's family consists of several "chiefs" but no "indians". It was hard at times, but I would do it again in a heart beat...love traveling with those I love!

 

[tinytink]

We sailed with 19 family members back in March on RCCL and we were all under the agreement that we would do our own things except dinner in the main dining room. As it turns out we basically stayed together but a few of us did do different excursions and different things at the port so it was nice because it just happended to turn out that way. For example in Belize 8 of us stayed on the ship later and spent an hour shopping then returned to the ship but the rest of the family went to the beach from morning till later afternoon. I know in our case traveling with all the extended family saved our trip because we actually did more with the family and my DH and I didn't care for RCCL (grandure of the sea) very much. It was an older ship showing it's age and since we've been on Disney 3times we expected more.

Good luck.

 

[Sailingpartyof10]

Last fall our family cruised with 53 of us in 17 staterooms and had an absolute blast! We were the guests of our darling matriarch, Grandma Tic Toc, and cruised as a "farewell" tribute to her. She was 90 at the time and spending our inheritance on one big party. It did take a great deal of planning to transport that many people of such widely varying ages (18 months - 90 years young) and to make sure that everyone had their own time and space as well as the together time we all wanted. Our only standing appointment with each other was at dinner each night and even then some bugged out to do their own thing. We had a "sign-up" sheet of 4-hour blocks for "Grandma Time" and each took our turn sporting her from event to event. Everyone arranged their own shore excursions and special reservations and we ran into each other aboard ship constantly. We put out our own "Family Navigator" and distributed it at the hotel the night before boarding. We arranged transport to and from the port as a group and all used the same travel agent who was spectacular in linking all our reservations! The Disney group was outstanding with our large party and my mother in particular was treated like an absolute queen. You must, must have a sense of humor and it helps to like your family a lot! I know we will forever treasure those Magical memories.

Zibeth, I am planning a Mexican Riviera Magic cruise in August for 35 family members ranging from 5 months to almost 87 years. I'd really appreciate any other advice you would like to share about this type of family cruise. I like the idea of "Grandma time" and had already thought of doing something along those lines since my grandmother will need some help getting around the ship. I'd also love to see the format of your "Family Navigator" if you wouldn't mind sharing it.

 

[atinkerbellmom]

We have cruised two times now with extended family and friends. Also have done it justt as my family circle. I LOVED traveling with the gang. We had aan understanding before leaving, that this was "Each Person's Vacation" and everyone including the 3 year old was responsible for their own fun. A little humor lightens the load. We made one agreement before leaving, that we would do dinner each night together and if you decided you were not attending one night, then you must let someone know that was attending dinner. Dinner was our time to connect. Asd dessert made it's way to the table, we gave the kids options of going back to the clubs or hanging out while we had a little conversation. We had a blast. We would bump into each other around the ship and could split up in the ports of call. The kids loved it as they had each other in the clubs.

 

[jeast]

We traveled with my family and are doing it again this fall. However, I would never do it with his family. Too clingy. His mom would not go for the 'do your own thing and meet at dinner'. Even if we made it known that that is how we travel, she would agree at the outset and give us the guilts all cruise because she expected to spend more time with us.

My family is very laid back. We plan acouple of things together, most dinners, and leave the rest to chance. I love it.

If you don't set the boundaries with the extended family and keep them, you are going to have a difficult cruise.

 

[crisi]

We had an extended family vacation not happen and blow up miserably. Here are some things to watch for.

Watch what everyone needs - in our case we were (at that time) the only people with kids. My sisters picked a cruiseline without a good kids club and saltwater pools. But I don't think they'd have been happy with Disney at that time. Finding a good compromise cruise line would have been helpful - but wasn't an option for one of my sisters. I would have also taken a beach resort with a pool - that idea got nixed by my father.

Watch what everyone can afford. Keep in mind that just because someone has a lot of income doesn't mean they CHOOSE to afford expensive vacations - if there is someone like that in on the plans if the idea is family togetherness, a cheaper spot might keep family harmony. In our case, we were travelling with four -which was making our trip MUCH more expensive. We could afford it, but combined with the first issue (and the next one) we weren't being happy about how much of our money was being easily spent by other people making decisions not in our favor.

Watch the timing. In our case we were trying to work around work schedules for a bunch of professionals - and somehow my husband's work schedule became the low priority. Moreover, they didn't listen to me saying I didn't have vacation time (I worked for a company that did furloughs - I didn't control my own vacation time). So it actually became impossible for us to go when they picked the dates.

Watch what assumptions you make about other people - my brother in law started planning all sorts of excursions we couldn't take the kids on - that was OK - my mother would watch the kids - and get left behind. She really didn't mind this, but an extended family vacation where my mother stays behind and becomes a nanny for my kids wasn't my idea of a family vacation.

We made compromise after compromise to get the family together, and then they finally made a decision we simply couldn't even compromise on. If you are expecting an extended family to all get on a DCL ship, you are expecting them to make a large investment in time and money - make sure DCL is a compromise everyone can live with.

 

[disneypoor]

We cruised last September with a total of 26 people (family and friends), and it was a blast! We didn't necessarily do everything together, but we did link all of our dining so we ate together every night. There were times that maybe it got a little tense, but we still loved it and have all rebooked together for Thanksgiving 09. We just had our expectations made clear from the beginning. We didn't wait on people to get around in the mornings (you were on your own!), and it was perfectly fine to do your own thing. My kids LOVE having friends with them on the ship, and it just makes it so much more fun for them. Good luck with your decision. I know we've traveled with family before, and I've sworn to never do it again. It's kindof like seasickness for me, I forget about it after a while and then I'm all pumped up to go again! I like having other people to plan with in addition to the people here on the DIS!

 

[justmestace]

I am afraid that my inlaws are going to want us to be with them 24/7. I feel my time will be doing things they would enjoy. They would never go on a Disney cruise by themselves so they would be going just to be with us, so do I owe it to them to hang with them most of the time???

???

We've cruised with extended family a few times. Once was even with my daughter's new in-laws. We'd never met most of them until we got on the ship.
Yes, we did have to spend an awful lot of time keeping them happy....and also members of my own family. I guess in one way it was nice to be able to do that with them and for them. But quite honestly, I will never do it again.
It's impossible to make everyone happy, and most of the time, no one wanted to go off and do their own thing. They wanted to do everything "together". And the worst part was later, months and even years later, when they complained about parts of it.
It was really frustrating for me. And again, some of the complaints and frustration came from family that I was close to, and never expected to have problems with.
Nope, no way. I personally won't do it again.

But as stated, everyone is different. It may end up being a wonderful experience for you.

 

[imheather]

SO I think the best thing to do is to have a agreement with everyone that we all do our own thing and meet up for dinner I still think my MIL is going to be very needy but maybe I will show her this thread

thanks for all of your stories

Heather