We held my son back one year. His birthday is June 30th. So he was 6 when he started. His teacher told me they should hold all kids back because the older ones do so much better. He was the best one in the class she said. Some of the kids in his class were barely 5 and a few still 4 when it stareted last year. I believe it is the best decision we ever made!
Anyone send kindergartener on time instead of holding back?
- Thread starter cigarboo
- Start date
I thought he was ready but he really didn't cope well at all.
bluejaygirl
On tour!
- Joined
- May 20, 2007
I lived in a different state when my daughter started kindergarten , her B day is Sept 16. The cut-off here was Sept 1, but in my home state, its in October.
So I had her tested and she started Kindergarten "early" as a 4 year old. It never occured to me to allow her to start what to me would be a year late. She has done very well, age has never been a factor, and she will be starting 7th grade this year. She is 11, but matured fast and could easily pass for 13. I dont see a difference socially or acedemically between her and her peers.
My DD6, on the other hand has a December birthdate, and we are back in the October cutoff state. The classwork and socializing in Kindergarten was really too easy for her ( I work in a preschool and she has come to work with me since before she was 2). I hope that the work will engage her as she grows older. I dont care about an easy A, thats what I did in school and was bored and hated it. I would rather she be challenged.
So I had her tested and she started Kindergarten "early" as a 4 year old. It never occured to me to allow her to start what to me would be a year late. She has done very well, age has never been a factor, and she will be starting 7th grade this year. She is 11, but matured fast and could easily pass for 13. I dont see a difference socially or acedemically between her and her peers.
My DD6, on the other hand has a December birthdate, and we are back in the October cutoff state. The classwork and socializing in Kindergarten was really too easy for her ( I work in a preschool and she has come to work with me since before she was 2). I hope that the work will engage her as she grows older. I dont care about an easy A, thats what I did in school and was bored and hated it. I would rather she be challenged.
I know this does happen sometimes....but it would scare me if my kids end up with BF's 2 years older...I'm just not sure I'd be ready to let them ride in a car with their BF when my child is only 14....and obviously he/she would be very upset not to be able to ride with their best friend who just got his/her license....same thing with hanging out later and drinking (obviously later) or going to nightclubs or whatever. I think my child would be more upset not to be able to hang with that older crowd 'at their level' because of our rules that wouldn't let them do those same things for a couple years until they're older...
That's why I think at younger ages (not as adults) it tends to naturally occur that oftentimes your closest friends are in your age group. I know when I was 5 - 9 my BF's were sisters down the street who were older than I was (1 year and 3 years older). But once they got into middle school and jr high and started going to the sporting events for their grades and going out without parental supervision as much (to movies, etc.) and I was too young to do those things yet. Well, it just naturally happened that we grew apart and while we did remain friends to this day - we were never very close as we were during those young years.
I think it is a personal family decision based on YOUR CHILD's needs.
My oldest is one of the youngest in her class. SHe started Kindy at 4, turned 5 the end of October. One of her best friends started late - she turned 6 in November that same year.
This past year they were in 1st grade together, both in the top reading and math groups. There was a girl in the class that had just started public school and she tested young and was put in her class - she turned 8 in Februrary. THis was the first tiem I noticed how "young" she is in camparason to her friends. She is 6 now, with a friend that is 7 and one that is 8. I will have a 17 YO HS graduate and she will be headed to college 3 months before she turns 18 with friends that are 18 and 19!! I'm not sure if I would have held her back based on this alone. She was MORE than ready to go, and still is doing great with her reading, math, logic and computer skills. I do not like that her friends are into BRATS, lip gloss and things like that, but I really do not think her "age" has anything to do with that, more a difference in parenting beliefs.
My next child will start Kindy this fall and turned 5 in June. My only hesitation is that she was a preemie and is quite small for her age. Again, she is very bright and can count to 100, kow how to spell and identify all her colors and numbers, can read and sound out basic words, but she is just small. If I had not sent my oldest to school at 4, I think I may have held her back, but she is more than ready based on conversations with her 2 pre K teachers and the school principle. I also have no qualms about holding her back if Kindy proves to be too much for her. She is a typical preemie and is showing signs of ADHD, but not overtly so. If we can keep her occupied, she is fine. Left to her own devices and she tends to get distructive (She still write on herself and walls with markers, will take scissors to her hair or fabrics BUT IF I give her markers, an unlimited stack of papers and scissors and a glue stick, she can be occupied for an hour! - its if she finds the scissors and has no paper when the problems occur).
THe boy will most likely start at 5 as well. He goes to part time Pre school already (He just turned 2 and attends 2 mornings a week) but again, I will have no problems with holding him back if needed.
Each child is different and as long as you are looking at thing objectively, send your schild when you agree THEY are ready (NOT YOU! LOL!)
My oldest is one of the youngest in her class. SHe started Kindy at 4, turned 5 the end of October. One of her best friends started late - she turned 6 in November that same year.
This past year they were in 1st grade together, both in the top reading and math groups. There was a girl in the class that had just started public school and she tested young and was put in her class - she turned 8 in Februrary. THis was the first tiem I noticed how "young" she is in camparason to her friends. She is 6 now, with a friend that is 7 and one that is 8. I will have a 17 YO HS graduate and she will be headed to college 3 months before she turns 18 with friends that are 18 and 19!! I'm not sure if I would have held her back based on this alone. She was MORE than ready to go, and still is doing great with her reading, math, logic and computer skills. I do not like that her friends are into BRATS, lip gloss and things like that, but I really do not think her "age" has anything to do with that, more a difference in parenting beliefs.
My next child will start Kindy this fall and turned 5 in June. My only hesitation is that she was a preemie and is quite small for her age. Again, she is very bright and can count to 100, kow how to spell and identify all her colors and numbers, can read and sound out basic words, but she is just small. If I had not sent my oldest to school at 4, I think I may have held her back, but she is more than ready based on conversations with her 2 pre K teachers and the school principle. I also have no qualms about holding her back if Kindy proves to be too much for her. She is a typical preemie and is showing signs of ADHD, but not overtly so. If we can keep her occupied, she is fine. Left to her own devices and she tends to get distructive (She still write on herself and walls with markers, will take scissors to her hair or fabrics BUT IF I give her markers, an unlimited stack of papers and scissors and a glue stick, she can be occupied for an hour! - its if she finds the scissors and has no paper when the problems occur).
THe boy will most likely start at 5 as well. He goes to part time Pre school already (He just turned 2 and attends 2 mornings a week) but again, I will have no problems with holding him back if needed.
Each child is different and as long as you are looking at thing objectively, send your schild when you agree THEY are ready (NOT YOU! LOL!)
auntie
<font color=darkorchid>It's a really lovely way to
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
I think previous poster had a very valid point indicating that perhaps gender is a major consideration in this decision. As mentioned earlier..we've done it both ways. Had a son who we enrolled on time because he was an only child(for 7 years)...very bright and supposedly "knew" everything he needed to know..but you can't make a child older than they are. Emotionally it took a few years for him to fit...adding that he was big for his age..and somehow because of this more was expected of him..because he looked older...and he was academically very bright, but emotionally ...he was 4...and others were almost 6. That's a big difference at that age. Eventually it all evened out..but he had a rough couple of years. We knew we wanted to avoid that with our other children. My daughter...well..as mentioned..I think girls are just more mature to begin with. She was 5 1/2 starting Kindergarden and the difference was like night and day. There was never a thought to waiting another year. My youngest..a boy...and a late June birthday..we knew we wanted to give the gift of time. He never knew the difference and did another year of preschool. Worked out wonderfully. Best choice we've ever made. He has been socially well adjusted..very confident and a leader. He is well liked and less prone to the entire "peer pressure" situations. Since he has six months to a year on most of his classmates..he is the one able to do things sooner. He recently recived his learners permit, and his friends will start getting them in another 4 four months. He doesn't "hang" with older kids..he "hangs" with the kids in his own grade. There have been MANY times over the years where he has been the child the other moms ask..."Is Tim going?"...because then they allow their kids to go. They know he has that little bit of extra maturity and makes the right choices. Was kind of funny in
5th grade when he was the one who had to walk his classmate home..because his mom wasn't able to make the pick-up time. Considering his friend was way bigger than he was at the time.(Although now..at 15 and 16 all the boys are shooting up like weeds!) By the time high school comes along...whether the kids started on time or waited that extra year....they are going to be faced with choices regarding drugs ...driving ...dating. To assume that because they started later they are going to face those choices sooner and be hanging with kids that are older..not true. If anything, it's given them that extra time over the years to face those choices with a bit more maturity. At least that has been our experience. Having had three kids and done this both ways...and at this point also having the benifit of seeing how those choices played out down the road, I can say without hesitation that there is no right or wrong choice. It is a decision that should be based soley on the individual child, and your family situation.
5th grade when he was the one who had to walk his classmate home..because his mom wasn't able to make the pick-up time. Considering his friend was way bigger than he was at the time.(Although now..at 15 and 16 all the boys are shooting up like weeds!) By the time high school comes along...whether the kids started on time or waited that extra year....they are going to be faced with choices regarding drugs ...driving ...dating. To assume that because they started later they are going to face those choices sooner and be hanging with kids that are older..not true. If anything, it's given them that extra time over the years to face those choices with a bit more maturity. At least that has been our experience. Having had three kids and done this both ways...and at this point also having the benifit of seeing how those choices played out down the road, I can say without hesitation that there is no right or wrong choice. It is a decision that should be based soley on the individual child, and your family situation.
Liberty Belle
<font color=green>I was going to reply, but I see
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2006
We don't have a choice since my son turns 5 November 20th.
I'm a para educator and will tell you it's rare that I see a 4 year old (getting ready to turn 5) ready for kindergarten. It can happen, just not very often.
I'm a para educator and will tell you it's rare that I see a 4 year old (getting ready to turn 5) ready for kindergarten. It can happen, just not very often.
auntie
<font color=darkorchid>It's a really lovely way to
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
5 Novemember 20th?...Does this means he doesn't make the cut off for your district or he does? Sorry if you mentioned this earlier, and I'm not seeing it. Certainly if he makes it and you prefer to wait..you as his parent don't have to enroll him. I know in our state..children don't have to be enrolled in public school until age 6...although most kindergardens start at age 5...with various cut offs..depending on your school district. I know my brother and I who are only 14 months apart age wise..were two years apart in school, simply based on the cut off dates where we lived when we each were starting school. He missed the cut off by 13 days...and waited for the next year to start school. Only worked to his benifit. He is a successful attorney today!
Liberty Belle
<font color=green>I was going to reply, but I see
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2006
5 Novemember 20th?...Does this means he doesn't make the cut off for your district or he does? Sorry if you mentioned this earlier, and I'm not seeing it. Certainly if he makes it and you prefer to wait..you as his parent don't have to enroll him. I know in our state..children don't have to be enrolled in public school until age 6...although most kindergardens start at age 5...with various cut offs..depending on your school district. I know my brother and I who are only 14 months apart age wise..were two years apart in school, simply based on the cut off dates where we lived when we each were starting school. He missed the cut off by 13 days...and waited for the next year to start school. Only worked to his benifit. He is a successful attorney today!
Sorry, I should have been clearer. My son will be 5 this November 20th. The cut off date here is October 1. If it were December 1, I would keep him out one more year. When I said we don't have a choice, I meant our decision was made for us by the school system, since he did not make the cut off.
My oldest's birthday is May 29th. He probably would have benefited from staying home another year as his first few years were a bit of a struggle (more emotionally than academically, but he struggled with writing). At the time (he's 14), I didn't question it.
Becky2005
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2004
That is really the question...I mean my DS is a late May baby with a cut-off of September 1. Even *I* thought to question if I should send him since he was going to be a younger one & I don't really consider May a summer birthday (My birthday is in May too & later than his but I certainly went on time -- *technically* finished school at 17 but had the graduation ceremonies after I was 18.
). I did ask in his pre-school and get a rather "are you crazy?" look from his teacher though as if I was crazy for even considering not sending him (and that was with speech & motor skill delays that he gets therapy for!) so off he went.However, he's doing just fine...true he'll be one of the last ones to turn 8 next year in 2nd grade but so far every meeting we have, he's doing OK. Someone's got to be the youngest at some point.
Around here though, it seems holding back is really the exception more than the rule. I know several boys in my older son's class have summer birthdays and they were not held out.
ObsessedwiththeMouse
<font color=blue>Diehard <b>Packers</b> fan, <i>bu
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2007
Hi--
My daugther's birthday is 9-5. When she was going to be turning 5 last year, I contacted the public school. Because our district has a 9-1 cutoff, they wouldn't make an exception unless she took their IQ test, passed a really difficult test AND went to summer school.
So, I contacted our Catholic school and she was tested. She passed with flying colors and is now ready to start 1st grade. On her first day of 1st grade she will be 5 years old. On her second day of 1st grade, she will be 6.
Yes, she's the peanut of the class, but she has done extremely well. I think in part that has to do with her preschool she attended.
I have no regrets about sending my daughter early. She has excelled and, to me, it seemed silly to hold her back an entire year when I knew she was ready.
I was nervous the entire Kindergarten year about how she'd do, but she's done amazing! When my son goes to school, I won't have to be so nervous, as his birthday is 1-30.
Good luck!
My daugther's birthday is 9-5. When she was going to be turning 5 last year, I contacted the public school. Because our district has a 9-1 cutoff, they wouldn't make an exception unless she took their IQ test, passed a really difficult test AND went to summer school.
So, I contacted our Catholic school and she was tested. She passed with flying colors and is now ready to start 1st grade. On her first day of 1st grade she will be 5 years old. On her second day of 1st grade, she will be 6.
Yes, she's the peanut of the class, but she has done extremely well. I think in part that has to do with her preschool she attended.
I have no regrets about sending my daughter early. She has excelled and, to me, it seemed silly to hold her back an entire year when I knew she was ready.
I was nervous the entire Kindergarten year about how she'd do, but she's done amazing! When my son goes to school, I won't have to be so nervous, as his birthday is 1-30.
Good luck!
It never would have occurred to me to hold my child back, even if I had children who were young for the school year.
In the UK, the school year cutoff is always 31st August. My elder son is actually one of the oldest in his year (he has a September birthday) and my younger one is halfway through the school year (March). They both started Reception at the beginning of the correct school year, with my elder son being just 5 and my younger one being 4 1/2. Even the children with summer birthdays seemed fine, but perhaps less was expected of them as they were young for the year. By the time they have been in the school for a couple of years, they seem to have evened out quite a bit, although when doing official assessments their age is taken into account.
Reception year is as much about socialising as about formal learning, and if, for example, I had a summer baby who I had held back until they were 5, they would go straight into Year 1 and miss out on Reception altogether, which I feel would be a real shame.
I was actually quite 'old for year' having a December birthday, and my best friend throughout school was born at the end of August, so she was usually the youngest in the school year. Socially, she was much more comfortable than I was, and she was amongst the brightest pupils in the school too. Having a summer birthday only a couple of days before the cutoff made absolutely no difference.
Sarah x
In the UK, the school year cutoff is always 31st August. My elder son is actually one of the oldest in his year (he has a September birthday) and my younger one is halfway through the school year (March). They both started Reception at the beginning of the correct school year, with my elder son being just 5 and my younger one being 4 1/2. Even the children with summer birthdays seemed fine, but perhaps less was expected of them as they were young for the year. By the time they have been in the school for a couple of years, they seem to have evened out quite a bit, although when doing official assessments their age is taken into account.
Reception year is as much about socialising as about formal learning, and if, for example, I had a summer baby who I had held back until they were 5, they would go straight into Year 1 and miss out on Reception altogether, which I feel would be a real shame.
I was actually quite 'old for year' having a December birthday, and my best friend throughout school was born at the end of August, so she was usually the youngest in the school year. Socially, she was much more comfortable than I was, and she was amongst the brightest pupils in the school too. Having a summer birthday only a couple of days before the cutoff made absolutely no difference.
Sarah x
cinderelli castle
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2007
My birthday is Nov 17. The principal discussed having me repeat kindergarten with my parents, but as I was already reading, they didn't see any point in having me wait for 1st grade. I have always been the youngest in my class, but it has never been an issue. My younger brother and sister also have November birthdays. Brother went ahead into first grade as well, but wound up repeating 8th grade. He really would have been OK going into 9th grade, but after graduating from the private school went to the public school for a year. This was really as much for sports reasons as school. He'll now be more comfortable academically, and has grown a ton in the past year-making the most out of those four years of high school baseball. He hopes to get recruited for college. Sister is exceptionally bright and there was never really any question about holding her back.
Our cut-off date is August 1st. DD turns 5 August 16th. Our public schools would not budge at all, but a private school in town accepted her. They said they would do an evaluation at 30 days to see how she's getting along. DD is sooooo happy she gets to go to school. The first day of school is August 20th and both of my kids are excited to go back to school shopping! 
If this is true (and i'm not saying it's not true, I can totally see where it would be true), does anyone know why the heck school districts insist on sending 4yo's to K??? It irks me to no end that they think kids should start regular school at 4yo. I can't imagine why this ever started. Maybe all districts were by calendar year, not school year (meaning dec 31), then some districts realized too many kids were 4yo in K and shouldn't be there, so they started pushing the cut-off date back? (my dd was 4yo in K and i considered holding, but didn't, but I wished the date was for the beginning of the school year so she'd be 5 starting K without me having to "hold" her back - our cut off is Nov 30, she's Oct 10 bday).
I've heard the answer "well, someone has to be the youngest"... but youngest at 4yo??? Why not youngest at 5yo? All kids should be 5yo entering K, but school districts need to change their cut off dates so parents don't have to do this type of wavering (should we send or shouldn't we?) It creates so many problems on both sides of the fence.
Anyway, just curious about how this all started...
I know one is never supposed to admit to having made mistake as a parent, but if there is one thing I could do over as a parent, I would have not sent my just turned 5 year old son to kindergarten. His birthday is late in the summer and he was just not emotionally ready for it. Though he has always been fine academically, socially it has never been easy for him.
My son will be going into the 4th grade this fall and won't turn 8 until after school starts (he has a mid-September birthday). I homeschooled him for Kindergarden, 1st and 2nd grade and then last year was his first year in private school (3rd grade). He did great academically (average of 97.5 for the year), but did have trouble socially. But I do see improvement over the summer and I attibute most of his social problems not to his age but to his personality. Next year will be interesting to see how he does as there is a big difference in the work between 3rd and 4th grade.
No regrets yet though... We'll take it one year at a time.
No regrets yet though... We'll take it one year at a time.
Just curious... is he a year ahead?? My dd is the youngest in her class and is turning 8 mid-Oct and will be in 3rd grade. Most of the other soon-to-be 3rd graders turned 8 already, starting last december.
Tikicampers
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- May 17, 2007
I have been wondering the same thing lately. Here, the cutoff is Sept. 1, but there has been talk of moving it to Aug. as school starts so much earlier. In the past, everyone was 5 years old when K started. Now, we have 1-2 in each class that start at 4, but do turn 5 in a few days. I was shocked when I read some of the later cutoff dates. With so many people moving around these days, it would be nice if the cutoff dates were more consistent.
Share this page
-
Dine Inside a Disney World Attraction: San Angel Inn Review
-
Anaheim City Council Gives Final Approval for DisneylandForward
-
Let's See the New Disney Eats Ice Cream Sandwich Collection
-
Have You Seen Disney Fairy Tale Weddings' Villains Bridal Gowns?
-
New Teaser Trailer for LEGO 'Star Wars: Rebuild the Galaxy'
GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE
Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.
Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!
Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.
Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!
