Anyone have a child who hit in school?

[mapmakerj]

DH says cancel our trip! We were planning to take DS out of school for 4 days at the end of Oct beginning of Nov. for a trip. He loves Halloween and I though MNSSHP would be perfect. My DS just started Kindergarten and is having a very hard time adjusting. He is an only child and has only been in my DM's daycare with only a couple other kids to deal with. He is really having a hard time with the other kids sharing and telling him what to do. He hates other kids bossing him around so he reacts by hitting. We had a meeting with the teacher, principal and councilor (sp?) and they said he is very impulsive, but not mean to the other kids. They said he doesn't hit hard, just kind of slaps them. We are going to try some techniques to stop this behavior asap, but DH says we shouldn't pull him out for a trip . I even suggested we postpone until next fall, but DH is so discouraged that he thinks we may never pull him out. I am caught in the middle and am stressed out. I dread picking my DS up everyday and reading the notes from the teacher. He has only been in school a week! I have no "support group" around here because everyone I know has "perfect children"! (Ha, Ha) I have been a SAHM for the last 3 years and am having a horrible enough time without him around, but now with the school problems I have been a basket case for the last week. I was going to get a PT job, but DH wants me to wait and see what happens with DS. Anyone have any ideas about the trip? How about any moral support with the school issues? I would love to hear any stories about your kids bad behavior and how they turned out fine. I guess I just need some cheering up.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

It's only the first week of kindergarten relax. Okay here's my story (hope it makes you feel better). When ds #2 was in kindergarten he didn't want to sit still and was somewhat wild. Never had a problem with hitting but he wasn't the sit nicely all day student. He was young for his class (had just turned 5) and it was parochial school. I got the notes all the time. No less my nephew was in the same kindergarten and very well behaved. I barely survived kindergarten.

Flash forward to high school - ds #2 in all honors and AP courses, and never had detention. He played football, was a peer leader, a student government rep and in the honor society. Got accepted into every college he applied to including University of Notre Dame. He is now in his senior year of college at AU and is in the process of applying to law school. Did great on his LSATs. Not bragging - I just would love to meet up with the kindergarten teacher who gave me such a hard time that year. SHe used to make me feel like he would end up in reform school or juvenile hall. THings do get better. I might postpone the trip but I wouldn't cancel it. Don't let it get to you - he will adjust!

 

[mapmakerj]

Thank you for your reply, it did help. I just convinced DH to postpone until next fall, not cancel. I told him if he is bad in school next year, the teacher would be happy to be rid of him for a week!

 

[spedtchr]

Last year DD started K and kicked a boy in the groin for asking her to marry him. Everybody knows her now. All the way up to the school systems administration office. It was extremely embarrasing especially since I teach in the school she attends. She started out with N's in her behavior and pulled them up to an O by the end of the school year. It was so bad at one point last year the DH and I decided that if she didn't improve that we would have the pricipal paddle her. When we told her that put a little fear in her. She only had to go to his office one time after that. He showed her his paddle and that is all it took. So far so good this year in first grade. I hate to see you cancel your trip. Your comment about the teacher being glad to be without him is hilarious. I can very much relate as the teacher of some very wild boys and as the mother of a dd who had a rough start. Just remember it is still the beginning of the school year. Every thing in your ds life is different now. He is not the center of his universe any more. He is having to learn to be without you all day while playing with children that he is just getting familiar with. I feel sure it will turn out okay.

 

[stacy6552]

I dont think you should postpone or cancel. He is too young to relate the trip to his behavior in school, so its not a natural consequence. You also wont be gone long enough for it to "start over" the school year. You wont loose any ground you have gained by then.

 

[rkandmjsmommy]

What about using Disney as a reward for Good behavior? Postpone and explain how important it is for him to not hit and hopefully it will stop and Disney can be his reward?

Just an idea

 

[HappyLawyer]

i worked in preschool and i taught school for a bit, kids hit, i normally saw the hitting from 3 years up to 6 years of age, a kid is a kid, i have a child who is adhd and she does things at times, don't cancel his trip, it would be different if he was like 15 then i would say ok, hitting but he is little.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Last year DD started K and kicked a boy in the groin for asking her to marry him. Everybody knows her now. All the way up to the school systems administration office. It was extremely embarrasing especially since I teach in the school she attends. She started out with N's in her behavior and pulled them up to an O by the end of the school year. It was so bad at one point last year the DH and I decided that if she didn't improve that we would have the pricipal paddle her. When we told her that put a little fear in her. She only had to go to his office one time after that. He showed her his paddle and that is all it took. So far so good this year in first grade. I hate to see you cancel your trip. Your comment about the teacher being glad to be without him is hilarious. I can very much relate as the teacher of some very wild boys and as the mother of a dd who had a rough start. Just remember it is still the beginning of the school year. Every thing in your ds life is different now. He is not the center of his universe any more. He is having to learn to be without you all day while playing with children that he is just getting familiar with. I feel sure it will turn out okay.

I would never allow ANYONE to hit my child. If I don't want my kindergartener to hit other children - what would it teach them if the principal was hitting a small child? Thankfully our schools don't allow teachers or principals to hit our children - and my children go to private school.

 

[kidshop]

I would never allow ANYONE to hit my child. If I don't want my kindergartener to hit other children - what would it teach them if the principal was hitting a small child? Thankfully our schools don't allow teachers or principals to hit our children - and my children go to private school.

I live in a Southern state and paddling is allowed in public schools (not sure about private). We opted out! It's a little shocking to me it is allowed as punishment in schools with the way lawsuits are these days. I have never come across it before. It makes me uncomfortable to think someone *may* hit my kid. But they clearly stated how to opt out, thank goodness!

 

[bdcp]

There is a huge difference between a paddling and "hitting". It's not allowed in our schools here, but I have relatives who teach in Texas and they were allowed to for certain violations. I paddled my two DS when they were small for dangerous actions (running out into the street, etc), and for really belligerent behavior. Gee, they're 19 and 21 now, in college and wonderful people. I knew some kids when I volunteered in school that could have used a good swat on the bottom. And paddling a child does not make them hit others, but it does make them believe you mean what you say.

 

[bdcp]

oops double post

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I think there is a huge difference in a parent swatting a child on the bottom and a school administrator paddling a child. Thank good NJ doesn't allow it. I would definitely "opt out" if I lived in a state that allowed it.

 

[disworldnum1]

My son is an only child also and was not ready for kindergarten.What he needed most was to be around other children and learn different ways to interact.He didnt hit but was the child who was being bullied. All the children are learning where they fit in in life and its up to the adults to keep it friendly and safe.A few days out of school to go to Disney is not going to change your childs behavior one way or another,but good parenting and a good teaching staff will.Don't panic over this your going to have bigger hurdles to jump then this.I think you will all be fine.Most parents nowadays seem to act like there kids can do no wrong(it's not my kid)The fact that you identified a problem and want to correct it shows your more the halfway there.Have fun in Disney..

 

[Avalanche]

I am a Kindergarten teacher and I've seen the best results for behavior such as this is to take small steps, usually starting with a day at a time. Maybe start with a sticker chart. If he keeps his hands to himself that day they get a sticker, after 5 stickers small reward, after 10 stickers another reward, after 20 bigger reward (maybe special lunch at McD's) At that age they really don't understand the concept of time, so to tell them the beginning of September "if you are good for the next two months we will go to DW in November", just doesn't work.

Just remember you need to do what is best for your child and family. What works for one family might not work for you. It's trial by error. Some children need more then others. Kindergarten is a hard adjustment and the first two weeks are tough. There is a lot thrown at them (so to speak) and takes some time to process it all.

 

[MN Dis Fans]

When my DS#1 started kindergarten he also had a rocky beginning, was sent to the principal's office on the first day. They had a close relationship throughout the year! DS also had a tough time on the bus - kids knew they could get a rise out of him and unfortunately, when he retaliated he always got caught. Kids sense quickly who they can work up!
I quit my job when DS started First Grade, switched to a small parochial school and drove him myself.
We began taking fall trips to WDW when he started K. It is a nice break for him and the school. Now its our tradition!

 

[spedtchr]

I agree with Stacy

 

[spedtchr]

Sorry mapmaker for the can of worms that I opened on your post. I was just wanted you to know that everything will be fine with your ds. He is still young give him time.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

I remind you not to over react to the hitting. Little boys just tend to react in that manner sometimes. Read James Dobson's "Bringing up boys". It is a great enlightment!
I also wonder if he is a "young" 5. Many boys just are not ready for kindergarten before 5 1/2 at the earliest! Being in a home day care is very different than kindergarten. i am a big beliver in a year of preschool with a school like setting! There is nothing wrong with deciding a week into school that he needs another year to mature and look for a good preschool.
I would NOT postpone the trip. It might just be the break he and you all need!! HAng in there. It will get better.
I too agree that I would not allow anyone in the school to "paddle" your child. What a poor example to set for a child that is already hitting others!

Jordans' mom

 

[In Luv with Disney]

I agree with most of the posts here. DON'T POSTPONE YOUR TRIP!

My DS will be 4 in October, and just started Pre-K last week. Since we think he MIGHT have ADHD, he is in a special class with just 4 kids right now. He goes 5 days a week. The mainstream children who will be in his class for 3 days a week, don't start school until the 2nd week of October...when we will be in WDW. I wish the mainstream kids would have started a week earlier or later so my DS could get used to the BIG class, but in the end, I will not cancel or postpone my family trip. He will just get to know all of the new kids when we get back.

 

[Took]

I have a nephew who was a "young 5" and my DSis held him back. Thus, he turned 6 two weeks into September after he started kindergarten. It was an absolute lifesaver and she has never regretted the extra year. He is able to keep up socially and academically--he certainly would not have been ready for kindergarten at age 5.

I guess I'm just agreeing with Mom to Jordan that you MAY want to consider pulling him out of kindergarten and just letting him attend a part-time pre-school for one more year. No big deal!

BTW, as a parent to an only child, I see that it is often harder even for well-adjusted onlies to get used to the give-and-take (push-and-pull) of lots of children interacting at once. She also is especially resistant to "bossy" kids!

Took