Anyone done a surprise wedding?

[LadySiren]

So although I refer to my fiance as DH, we're not actually yet married. We've had to put this off for a number of reasons and I know he's anxious to get the getting hitched part over. Our trip started out as a family vacation but mushroomed into a family reunion with his whole family coming along. So I got this crazy idea today - what if I surprised him with a wedding while we're all together?

Has anyone attempted this at Disney? This isn't a first marriage for either of us and we're fairly old (well, relatively) and laid back. We have five young kids as part of our blended family so I'm looking for something that's extremely casual. Us. Family. Flip-flops. Mickey. That's about it. We don't need the carriage or huge flower arrangements...we just need something that's going to suit us.

I'd like to surprise not only DH (or I guess that's DH2B - dear husband to be) but our kids and his family. Yeah, I'm crazy. Anyway, anyone have any thoughts on whether I can pull this off without him finding out about it or without it costing an arm and a leg? I'd originally planned a traditional wedding but at this point, eloping sounds like a good idea.

 

[MsEsty]

Please don't take this the wrong way, but personally a surprise wedding for the groom is a bad idea. First, I don't know how much of a surprise it will be when you have to fill out a marriage licence and they expire within 60, so he will know something is going to happen. Second, a marriage is something you should really want to have. I'm not saying the guy doesn't want to marry you, but to put someone on the spot like that might make people uncomfortable and even resentful.

As for the cost, the basic package is still aorund 5k (not sure if you consider that an arm and a leg).

Again, please don't take my advice the wrong way, it's just my opinion on the matter.

 

[Pooh Friend]

Here's my two cents... I would mention to DH2B what you are thinking but then surprise everyone else (kids included)! The cheapest wedding you can do is during the week for just under $5,000 I believe. Good luck with your plans!

 

[tiggerrifficheidi]

I agree that he should probably be in on the plan. You can "surprise" him with the idea, and if he's as eager as he sounds, he'll be thrilled! Then you can spring it on the family. I think there was another bride on here who did that, and it worked out well, to my understanding.

 

[PrincessShea]

As it's already been mentioned, the cheapest you will be able to do this is for $5000 through Disney. I believe the cheapest option at the Swan/Dolphin is between $2000/$3000.

Now what is considered "an arm and a leg" is different for everyone...but to me personally, $5000 IS an arm and a leg; especially if you have kids. I would rather put the 5k toward making the actual vacation more fun (stay longer, make more ADRs, bring the girls to BBB, stay at the deluxe, whatever).

I would just go to the courthouse and then have a really nice dinner with your kids somewhere and then live it up on the vacation. Again, that's just my opinion; and I am trying to put myself in kids shoes and they probably won't have $5000 worth of fun watching a 10 minute ceremony and then eating cake (which is basically all you get).

 

[vikkymax]

Thats quite romantic! i am tempted to say that setting is perfect for you to walk down the aisle.I think though it would be a good idea to get married with every body around but not float the idea until you have proposed to him and got his affirmation.

 

[Bride-to-be]

I think it would be awesome to surprise all of your guests! But I agree your DH should probably be in on the surprise...

About a year ago there was a thread about a surprise wedding. Someone chartered a bus and they went around from hotel to hotel picking up the guests. They had a britsh butler onboard who I forget but said some funny stuff. Everyone thought they were there for an anniversary party - but then the bus stopped at the wedding pavillion and the Butler read a really cute poem and invited everyone to the wedding of.... Then they had a reception in Whitehall and watched the fireworks.

I hope someone can find it - bc I can't. But it was so sweet I remember it made me teary.

 

[My sister's princess]

I think it is a cute idea, but you should talk to the groom first.

Just to let you know it doesn't have to cost $4,000 to get married at Disney, you just won't have the "fairytale" experience, there are other options that are much cheaper, especially if you are looking to not have a reception, and don't have a ton of guests. From the sounds of it, you don't want the big to-do anyway!

 

[lpizzuro123]

I go along with the not surprising the DH2B but it might be great to surprise your guests. You did say most of his family would be there - not sure how you feel about your family if they will be there and what about friends. I do not know if it would be worth the surprise if all those you want cannot be there.

As far as expenses go - not sure what you want to spend but if you do not want to go through Disney - there are the Swan and Dolphin weddings. I do not know much about them but they are definately less expensive. You can also do a courthouse wedding and then head over to Disney to party.

When you mention laid back - flip flop sort of thing - I immediately thought of the Cape May Cafe Breakfast for your "reception". It is held at The Beach Club, you get Minnie, Goofy and Donald in their beach atire. We did our rehearsal brunch there for 22 people and had a great time. We love the food and it is only about $20.00 a person for an all you can eat buffet.

You could wear a great white sundress and flipflops.

Whatever you decide - have fun and keep us posted.

Linda

 

[LadySiren]

Good thoughts all; I appreciate the feedback. DH2B has been haranguing me about this for awhile, despite the fact that one of the reasons the big (normal? conventional?) wedding got postponed was because of his ex-wife. I know he'd be happy to just get me to the altar but I think you're all right - I'll talk to him about it and see what he thinks. Personally, I think this would be the height of fun and a perfect fit for our family dynamic. We'll see what he says today.

 

[LadySiren]

I almost forgot - my family won't be there as my parents passed away some time ago and the rest of my family is scattered between Hawaii, California, and Las Vegas. I'm not sure they'd have come to the other wedding anyway (sigh).

I love DH2B's family, so I'm happy if it's just them. My co-workers might be a bit sad but they'll get over it.

 

[Sweet Melissa]

I know I read about one couple who had a surprise wedding at the Swan. I hope they don't mind my linking to that thread: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1874326

 

[Scrappy_Tink]

How about getting married by a Justice of the Peace, and then have a surprise "Family-moon"? Be sure to carve out some time for just the two of you (Maybe a romantic dinner or two), since you will have family there to help with the kiddos.

 

[*Pixiedust1438*]

I think it sounds like a really great idea, although I do agree with a lot of the other girls about talking to DF about it first. I just think it would be so hard to keep it a secret from him for all that time, and be more fun to plan together. The only thing I would worry about also is guests having plans for the day you would be doing the wedding. You would probably have to tell them you are planning something special for that day, make dinning reservations "supposedly" all together, or something. I do think it's a good idea and I'm sure you could keep it reasonably priced considering you want something really casual.

 

[Boxley]

Well, personally BAD idea.

Your husband should at least know that he is going to be your, you know, husband.

You can tell him your idea and spring it on the family but to have it as a surprise to him just doesn't seem kosher. Besides, don't you both have to sign something to make the marriage legal?

 

[aristocatz]

Here is a link of a bride that did a great surprise Swan/Dolphin wedding....it was a surprise to her family only (her DF knew about it with her!)

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1874326