Any Xmas drama at your house this year?

[DisneySarah80]

Yeah.....
My mother called about 15 minutes before they were to come over, and asked if there was anything else I needed her to bring. I told her "Nope, just the xyz that your already bringing. And PLEASE - If your going to bring anything extra, just tell me what it is." My mother is famous for bringing extra stuff (food) over that you had talked about with her, but ruled out having, and telling you that it just MUST be put out because she took the time and money getting it (or she just plays dumb, and says she forgot that it was ruled out). Forget the fact that whatever the item is, isn't wanted or needed, because we are always throwing out more food than could be eaten by a small country.....

So anyway.... On the phone, I told her to tell me exactly what she was bringing... She said nothing extra at all. She gets here, and she has my father hand me everything, and it has 4 "extras" in there. Its dumb, but its frustrating because its her way of "controlling" things. Plus I had JUST asked her on the phone NOT to do exactly what she did.

So, I was a little annoyed, but I wasn't going to say anything, and let it ruin Christmas, or anything stupid like that.

So one of the things that she brought over was low sodium chips (she needs to be on a low sodium diet), and she asked me to put them out for her. Ok, great, no problem at all, I'll be right with you (I had to find a bowl for this item I didn't know about).... I brought something else down first that I had already gotten ready, and she starts (jokingly) berating me for not bringing her chips down right away. Now, I understand she was just joking, but the words she was using were (and always are) very hurtful - If someone from outside of the family heard it, I guarantee they wouldn't have thought it was a joke - Its very nasty, and though she says its a joke, I know there are truth behind her words.

I've been spending a lot of time with my mother since she is getting older (and sick...) and needs help with stuff. I enjoy doing things for/with her, and since I'm not working, and the kids are in school till 3pm, its no problem at all. However.... I can't do anything (and I mean this literally) without her making a comment, and they are never nice. If I'm driving, she will start going on about how I'm about to hit the car in front of me (I'm no where near them) - Or constantly telling me that I'm going the wrong way, or that my way is dumb, and she knows a much better way - But just keep going your (dumb) way.... So when she made her comments on Christmas, I just broke. I don't even remember what I said, but I went back into the kitchen after saying it, to get the rest of the food, and heard her out there crying that "She has just ruined Christmas for me!"

Oy.... It actually blew over quickly, and all was fine after about 10 minutes, but as much as it may have "ruined" her Christmas, it ruined mine (and made in uncomfortable for my DH and DDs) as well.



Well thats my vent - I'm sure I'll be blasted and flamed by the "holier than thou".....

So I called my mother this morning just to say "Hi." and she answered the phone sounding HORRIBLE. She said "I'm still sleeping. Good bye." She said that she sounded so bad because she was asleep.... If you ask me, she sounded SO bad that it sounded fake... Guess shes still po'd about Christmas.....

 

[horseshowmom]

Good for you.

I know kids sometimes lie, and that it's conceivable that a 14 year old might lie to protect himself. But he was with you all night. And there were no tears-- certainly woulds severe enough to leave marks would cause tears. My guess is that it all happened after you left, and your SIL refuses to beieve her own darlings could be at fault.

Good for you for defending you son against this woman. We're the only advocates our kids have; you son will rememeber that you defended him for a long time to come!

It may also be that the son threatened his sister that she'd better not say it was him. Instead of protecting her daughter from her brother, she would rather blame somebody else. NOT a good situation.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I seriously think this was the last year I will be attending my sister's "festivus". I can't believe we have the same parents. I have two sisters and one is so nice and easygoing. The one who wants to host Christmas adversely affects my health - I still have a tight feeling in my chest two days later.

She fights constantly with her husband, watches everything everyone eats or drinks and makes faces/comments, etc. She is paranoid on top of it.

Last year I stayed home for Thanksgiving because I couldn't face being in the same house with her and it was wonderful. Then last year we went for Christmas and I got an hour speech about how my parents liked me better and she was the poor unloved middle child. She announced in front of her 3 year old granddaughter that I said I hate kids

I have to go take another Prevacid..............................

I'll meet you in Orlando on December 21. I'll be the one sitting there with a huge smile on my face and Mickey ears on my head.

 

[rszdtrvl]

No drama here.

MIL didn't come over (she had said that she was not coming over and that SIL was spending the holiday with her) and FIL didn't call. MIL is the drama queen in the family.

My parents and 2 youngest brothers came over for dinner and a gift exchange.

We did a Skype call with my other brother who lives in Minnesota.

It was a nice holiday. Calm & peaceful. Everyone had a good, relaxing time.

So sorry to those of you who had a less than wonderful holiday.

 

[Dancind]

We cruised over a couple of Christmas holidays, wish we could still do that!

But it was not nearly as bad as many of you! Our drama was my brother coming for Christmas dinner. He has met DD20 twice in her life, and took it upon himself to make fun of her and laugh in her face several times. This after one glass of wine. He also ate ate about a third of the 5 pound prime rib I made.

I apologized to my DD later for my brother's behavior and she said, "it's ok Mom, he's FAMILY". Now I'm thinking she must believe that family means putting up with bad behavior!

Of course, judging by this thread, I guess it does!

 

[MzDiz]

The drama wasn't at my house, but it resulted in my boyfriend and I staying at a hotel that night and ordering Chinese food. Surprisingly, it was still better than the past two Christmases, by a long shot.

 

[snapppyd]

I'll meet you in Orlando on December 21. I'll be the one sitting there with a huge smile on my face and Mickey ears on my head.

I love you!!

 

[Owlpost23]

I seriously think this was the last year I will be attending my sister's "festivus". I can't believe we have the same parents. I have two sisters and one is so nice and easygoing. The one who wants to host Christmas adversely affects my health - I still have a tight feeling in my chest two days later.

She fights constantly with her husband, watches everything everyone eats or drinks and makes faces/comments, etc. She is paranoid on top of it.

Last year I stayed home for Thanksgiving because I couldn't face being in the same house with her and it was wonderful. Then last year we went for Christmas and I got an hour speech about how my parents liked me better and she was the poor unloved middle child. She announced in front of her 3 year old granddaughter that I said I hate kids

I have to go take another Prevacid..............................

Sounds like I wrote this! I,too,have a poor unloved middle sister who I haven't talked to in over three years.Funny how my youngest sister and I seemed to have the same parents,but the middle one apparently didn't.Do yourself the biggest favor of your life and STOP ANY CONTACT WITH HER!!!You will give yourself the best gift you'll ever get.

 

[mkymouse1928]

For the first time in my 38 years of existence there was no drama on Christmas. Unfortunately, I had to avoid my grandparents for this to happen. My grandfather is a mean, nasty man who has spoiled nearly every Christmas that I can remember including when he told my husband he "hated" him.

The sad part is my grandmother is the sweetest, kindest, gentlest woman you will ever meet, and it breaks my heart that I have to avoid her to maintain peace in my life.

 

[heartsy77]

Nice to know I AM not the only one! Here's My break down. My step son came home from the Navy Sunday before Xmas ; he lived w/ us for the last two years before leaving for the Navy and we are very close. Well it all started at the airport with my step daughter and her mother. They sat around the terminal whispering, giggling like they are in middle school, and ignoring us completely. I try so hard to be nice and make polite hellos and etc.; needless to say I am ignored. I go home in tears because I just don't get why we can't all be civil: Dh and ex- wife have been divorced for 17 years and step daughter is 18!

Fast fwd to Xmas Eve I tell DH to text his daughter and tell her to come w/ her brother to our annual Xmas Eve party. As sad as it is to admit my DH gave up on trying to be in daughters life years ago. Although I don't agree with this I understand why he feels this way; she has done awful stuff in the past to my DH, myself and even our DD's.

Well my step kids arrive and all is well; then it was present time.
We bought my step son a watch and her the exact boots she asked for along with a hat and scarf. All seemed fine at first but then my DD 12 is walking around the house w/ my step daughters cell phone reading her texts messages. She read a text my step daughter wrote to her mom, before I can stop her, in front of everyone. Needless to say I was all about how my step son got so much more than her, how it was mistake to come here, and how my kids got a billion things for Xmas! At this point my kids opened 1 present, books and a alarm clock, and rest were still upstairs in my closet.

I was so embarrassed and I feel so stupid for trying w/ her again. My DH told be that night that he's sick of her doing this and sick of hearing me beat myself about her.

I wake up Xmas morning in a really bad mood: I was so upset about my step daughter's behavior, and I was pissed at my daughter looked in her phone and read them aloud!

About 1/2 through the day I come to the realization she is 18 and now I am done too! I just can't do this anymore and it makes me sick to give up on a kid I have been involved w/ for 17 years! I realizing more and more every day I just have to except she is the way she is and nothing will change until she want's it to!

 

[RadioNate]

Nice to know I AM not the only one! Here's My break down. My step son came home from the Navy Sunday before Xmas ; he lived w/ us for the last two years before leaving for the Navy and we are very close. Well it all started at the airport with my step daughter and her mother. They sat around the terminal whispering, giggling like they are in middle school, and ignoring us completely. I try so hard to be nice and make polite hellos and etc.; needless to say I am ignored. I go home in tears because I just don't get why we can't all be civil: Dh and ex- wife have been divorced for 17 years and step daughter is 18!

Fast fwd to Xmas Eve I tell DH to text his daughter and tell her to come w/ her brother to our annual Xmas Eve party. As sad as it is to admit my DH gave up on trying to be in daughters life years ago. Although I don't agree with this I understand why he feels this way; she has done awful stuff in the past to my DH, myself and even our DD's.

Well my step kids arrive and all is well; then it was present time.
We bought my step son a watch and her the exact boots she asked for along with a hat and scarf. All seemed fine at first but then my DD 12 is walking around the house w/ my step daughters cell phone reading her texts messages. She read a text my step daughter wrote to her mom, before I can stop her, in front of everyone. Needless to say I was all about how my step son got so much more than her, how it was mistake to come here, and how my kids got a billion things for Xmas! At this point my kids opened 1 present, books and a alarm clock, and rest were still upstairs in my closet.

I was so embarrassed and I feel so stupid for trying w/ her again. My DH told be that night that he's sick of her doing this and sick of hearing me beat myself about her.

I wake up Xmas morning in a really bad mood: I was so upset about my step daughter's behavior, and I was pissed at my daughter looked in her phone and read them aloud!

About 1/2 through the day I come to the realization she is 18 and now I am done too! I just can't do this anymore and it makes me sick to give up on a kid I have been involved w/ for 17 years! I realizing more and more every day I just have to except she is the way she is and nothing will change until she want's it to!

I'm sorry but your DD took her step sisters phone and was reading her text messages out loud on Xmas Eve and the step daughter is the problem?

I know you didn't excuse your daughter completely but come on in what world is it ok for her to read he sister's private messages.

Listen I TOTALLY get the airport thing. That is 100% the way my former inlaws behaved to me at every single family function for 14 years. I get that it is hurtful and annoying.

18 or not your step DD is still the little girl who didn't have daddy around 100% of the time. She saw him chose your children over her instead of treating them as equals. I'd be more inclined to love her rather than write her off.

 

[december]

Nice to know I AM not the only one! Here's My break down. My step son came home from the Navy Sunday before Xmas ; he lived w/ us for the last two years before leaving for the Navy and we are very close. Well it all started at the airport with my step daughter and her mother. They sat around the terminal whispering, giggling like they are in middle school, and ignoring us completely. I try so hard to be nice and make polite hellos and etc.; needless to say I am ignored. I go home in tears because I just don't get why we can't all be civil: Dh and ex- wife have been divorced for 17 years and step daughter is 18!

Fast fwd to Xmas Eve I tell DH to text his daughter and tell her to come w/ her brother to our annual Xmas Eve party. As sad as it is to admit my DH gave up on trying to be in daughters life years ago. Although I don't agree with this I understand why he feels this way; she has done awful stuff in the past to my DH, myself and even our DD's.

Well my step kids arrive and all is well; then it was present time.
We bought my step son a watch and her the exact boots she asked for along with a hat and scarf. All seemed fine at first but then my DD 12 is walking around the house w/ my step daughters cell phone reading her texts messages. She read a text my step daughter wrote to her mom, before I can stop her, in front of everyone. Needless to say I was all about how my step son got so much more than her, how it was mistake to come here, and how my kids got a billion things for Xmas! At this point my kids opened 1 present, books and a alarm clock, and rest were still upstairs in my closet.

I was so embarrassed and I feel so stupid for trying w/ her again. My DH told be that night that he's sick of her doing this and sick of hearing me beat myself about her.

I wake up Xmas morning in a really bad mood: I was so upset about my step daughter's behavior, and I was pissed at my daughter looked in her phone and read them aloud!

About 1/2 through the day I come to the realization she is 18 and now I am done too! I just can't do this anymore and it makes me sick to give up on a kid I have been involved w/ for 17 years! I realizing more and more every day I just have to except she is the way she is and nothing will change until she want's it to!

I'm sorry but your DD took her step sisters phone and was reading her text messages out loud on Xmas Eve and the step daughter is the problem?

I know you didn't excuse your daughter completely but come on in what world is it ok for her to read he sister's private messages.

Listen I TOTALLY get the airport thing. That is 100% the way my former inlaws behaved to me at every single family function for 14 years. I get that it is hurtful and annoying.

18 or not your step DD is still the little girl who didn't have daddy around 100% of the time. She saw him chose your children over her instead of treating them as equals. I'd be more inclined to love her rather than write her off.

Nowhere did the pp say it was ok for her dd12 to read the messages, or that the kids were not treated as equals.

 

[RadioNate]

Nowhere did the pp say it was ok for her dd12 to read the messages, or that the kids were not treated as equals.

No but she clearly stated that her DH "gave up" on trying to be part of his daughter's life. Has he given up on the 12 year old too?

This entire drama could have been avoid had the 12 year old NOT read her half-sister's private text messages.

The pp is upset with the step-daughter and is "done" with her, yet the 12 year old caused the mess. The step-daughter may be a major brat in this situation I can see why she doesn't feel equal. You see a girl that is a brat, I see one that wants attention from her father.

 

[heartsy77]

I'm sorry but your DD took her step sisters phone and was reading her text messages out loud on Xmas Eve and the step daughter is the problem?

I know you didn't excuse your daughter completely but come on in what world is it ok for her to read he sister's private messages.

Listen I TOTALLY get the airport thing. That is 100% the way my former inlaws behaved to me at every single family function for 14 years. I get that it is hurtful and annoying.

18 or not your step DD is still the little girl who didn't have daddy around 100% of the time. She saw him chose your children over her instead of treating them as equals. I'd be more inclined to love her rather than write her off.

My dd 12 was punished and I moved on from that. And there are no step sisters here they children are all biologically related! ( same dad diffrent mothers).
It still does not excuse they way my step daughter acted and as I stated this has been ONGOING for years! Truthfully I blame the whole mess, over the years, on my DH ex wife.... can we say parental alienation?
Not that it matters, but my husband's ex wife left him for another man. At no time has my DH chose any of his kids over each other!
I have just came to conclusion it is what it is, and what is DONE!

 

[HeyIt'sMe]

Yeah, we had some weird drama but not from a family member.

In a nutshell our neighbors are having marital problems and I'm afraid we are starting to get dragged into it. I'm friendly with the family but DH & the husband are good friends. Well, long story short the husband dropped by around 4:30pm on Christmas and ended up eating Christmas dinner with our family instead of going home to eat. This was even after his wife came over to our house to tell her husband dinner was ready and he replied "I'll be there in a sec". There's more to the story and it was super weird and awkward. Yikes!