Another Wedding Spinoff-Parents, Will YOU Pay For Your Child's Wedding?

[DeluxePrincess]

DH and I decided that we would pay for college and not fully fund any weddings. We might pay for an aspect of the wedding (flowers, photographer, music, etc), but that would be it.

 

[Rhombus]

Yes, I'll at least contribute to my daughter's wedding if she decides to marry. She has already mentioned a few times that she thinks elaborate expensive weddings are ridiculous, so it looks like I might luck out. Hopefully she won't change her mind.

 

[clh2]

We only have 1 child, so luckily whatever we do doesn't need to be "duplicated" for other kids.

I am demanding (and DD knows this) that the cake be wonderful...and not contain berries of any sort. I am willing to pay for cake- great cake, and wonderfully decorated!

The rest - we will probably give DD/future spouse a set amount to do with what she likes. If there is any money leftover, she can use it for a down payment on a house, or whatever their needs are. As long as I have great cake...DD will be able to plan her own wedding.

 

[minkydog]

We are supporting both kids through college and we dont expect to pay for weddings, not there is a wedding in the wings. But we will give them a little chunk of cash, maybe $6000, to use as they see fit.

 

[tarheel618]

DH and I decided that we would pay for college and not fully fund any weddings. We might pay for an aspect of the wedding (flowers, photographer, music, etc), but that would be it.

This- we have a college fund for each child. Weddings will be on their own dime.

 

[Missy1961]

DH and I decided that we would pay for college and not fully fund any weddings. We might pay for an aspect of the wedding (flowers, photographer, music, etc), but that would be it.

That was what my parents did. It worked out very well.

 

[eliza61]

Like any other financial decision, if I can help out I'll do it gladly. Neither of my sons have serious gf's so I don't think it's an issue. Their college is just about paid for and I'm pretty much done retirement savings so I'm lucky in that regards. I can't imagine either one having big, flashy weddings but since I had one and loved it, I don't have a problem helping out.

 

[lauradis]

More then likely yes we will help pay. I have no desire to control whatever the bride or groom choose.

Big weddings are so over rated and a waste of money. Imnsho. But then again Im a JOP kinda girl, I just wanted to be married and be with my husband forever. Because that what weddings are about right?

 

[Disney Doll]

We will, assuming our situation stays the same over the next many years. Currently our daughter is only ten and plans to live a nearly monastic life as dedicated scientist and professes to have no interest in a husband who takes her mind off her studies (yes, we do feel like she is judging us, her parents who got distracted and married), so who knows, we may not have to... (Although we assume her opinions on taking a spouse may change over the next few years...)

One would think...

 

[NewRVLady]

Big weddings are so over rated and a waste of money. Imnsho. But then again Im a JOP kinda girl, I just wanted to be married and be with my husband forever. Because that what weddings are about right?

yep-I used to think similarly
Attended DS's engagement party last night-just the CLOSE friends and CLOSE relatives there was a large # of people!
so I can see why it will be a large wedding (250)
they want their friends and (large) family there, at their wedding

 

[lauradis]

yep-I used to think similarly
Attended DS's engagement party last night-just the CLOSE friends and CLOSE relatives there was a large # of people!
so I can see why it will be a large wedding (250)
they want their friends and (large) family there, at their wedding

I don't think I will change my mind on this, but if one of my children wants a big wedding, Im more then will to keep my mouth shut and hand over some $$$$

 

[eliza61]

More then likely yes we will help pay. I have no desire to control whatever the bride or groom choose.

Big weddings are so over rated and a waste of money. Imnsho. But then again Im a JOP kinda girl, I just wanted to be married and be with my husband forever. Because that what weddings are about right?

GASP!!! You are evil. naaah, weddings are about celebrating the marriage and nothing beats a big, blowout celebration. I am sooo the opposite. I totally admit I was a "princess" type of gal. LOL when I got engaged, I knew it was going to be a blow out formal affair. actually I really didn't think about what weddings were "about". that was my personality, lol my sister and I were diva's out of the womb according to my parents and older relatives. My sister wanted dove's released at her wedding. unfortunately we also have a large family, so 250-300 people are not unusual at our shindigs.

Look at it this way, August we are having a combination family reunion and 100th birthday celebration for my oldest aunt. So far we have 27 people definitely making it to Disney for the family reunion and at last count 325 people who will be in Charleston sc for the birthday party and they are all related. we've still got 2 more months.

I couldn't imagine going to the JOP, that would be like going to mcdonald's for my 25th anniversary. Not gonna happen, don't care how much I love the Joe.

My brothers did do the Justice of the peace but that was mainly because they were in the military and didn't have 10 months to plan.

Now one caveat, we would never have asked our parents to pay more than they could afford.

I'm a widow and I'd think I'd like to date again. I feel sorry for the dude if I ever think about getting married again. I am sooo having a huge Disney wedding, LOL at my age.

 

[Judique]

GASP!!! You are evil. naaah, weddings are about celebrating the marriage and nothing beats a big, blowout celebration. I am sooo the opposite. I totally admit I was a "princess" type of gal. LOL when I got engaged, I knew it was going to be a blow out formal affair. actually I really didn't think about what weddings were "about". that was my personality, lol my sister and I were diva's out of the womb according to my parents and older relatives. My sister wanted dove's released at her wedding. unfortunately we also have a large family, so 250-300 people are not unusual at our shindigs.

Look at it this way, August we are having a combination family reunion and 100th birthday celebration for my oldest aunt. So far we have 27 people definitely making it to Disney for the family reunion and at last count 325 people who will be in Charleston sc for the birthday party and they are all related. we've still got 2 more months.

I couldn't imagine going to the JOP, that would be like going to mcdonald's for my 25th anniversary. Not gonna happen, don't care how much I love the Joe.

My brothers did do the Justice of the peace but that was mainly because they were in the military and didn't have 10 months to plan.

Now one caveat, we would never have asked our parents to pay more than they could afford.

I'm a widow and I'd think I'd like to date again. I feel sorry for the dude if I ever think about getting married again. I am sooo having a huge Disney wedding, LOL at my age.

Go for it!

 

[Bluestars]

Thankfully, my daughter had a very small, intimate wedding. It was not expensive. She had the wedding she wanted and I helped provide everything needed. I am glad she wasn't interested in wasting money on a huge wedding.

With my sons, I will most likely give them a set amount to spend as they please. I can't imagine trying to tell my kids what kind of wedding they should have. It will be their wedding and they should have whatever type they choose. I will stay out of it unless they ask me for advice, then I will help them make decisions.

 

[SEA333]

While I don't see my generally-rule-following kids going to any sort of extreme in their weddings, I will help with as much as I can at the time. Stings to be determined, depending on the situation.

My mother paid for a lot of my wedding. She helped me pick/choose a lot of it. I was OK with that....it was really the only bonding time we ever had in our relationship. DH and I chose an expensive venue while she wanted us to do more of a VFW-hall type wedding. Her compromise was to calculate what she thought a VFW wedding would be and give that to us. We paid everything over and above. She also paid for certain things like my dress, cake, and centerpieces.

I am wondering if these are the types of "strings" PP's are talking about.

Also, I have 5 sisters. 3 of them had babies before they were married. I was the first to be married (and had my first child two years later). The 2nd sister, who had a son already, didn't get what I got, help-wise. My mother told me in confidence that she was not planning on giving sister as much for her wedding because she would rather spend the money on her grandson than a wedding. That was another "string", I guess, but she had every right to give whatever she wanted, or withhold for whatever reason, that she wanted to.

Any other wedding than in front of a justice of the peace at your county's courthouse is a "want", not a "need". The bride or groom doesn't "deserve" anything other than what the parents want to give, with whatever strings are attached. I do not consider help paying for a wedding as a "gift", adn frankly, I would rather pay for college than a wedding.

 

[NHdisneylover]

We don't plan to pay for a wedding for either kid. I imagine we'll gift them some hat they can use for the wedding or not, but not a large sum really. We've given them a lot growing up and we'll get them through college and that seems fair to me.

 

[Disney Doll]

My parents gave us a set amount and told us what we didn't spend we could keep.

That really makes the swan ice sculpture seem unnecessary.

 

[NewRVLady]

My parents gave us a set amount and told us what we didn't spend we could keep.

That really makes the swan ice sculpture seem unnecessary.

LOL!