Friday, June 28
Enough with the mushy stuff. Lets get back to exploring. Adventure is out there!
We spent the morning packing up the Jeep and getting ready for our mid-day flight over to Hawaii, better known in ancient Hawaiian as The Big Island (catchy, huh?). My aunt was gracious enough to let us leave some bags/souvenirs in her home while we explored in order to help save us some dreaded airline bag fees. We said our goodbyes and drove down the mountain to Kahului airport. I took a little side road that goes right past the south end of the runway. If youre lucky, you can see a plane fly only about 50 feet overheard or so as it makes its final approach.
We safely returned the Jeep, thankful that no one at the rental counter asked exactly how Id made it back from Hana the other day. Then we headed over to the Hawaiian Airlines counter, checked in the bags, and did the TSA Tango once again. I was actually starting to get pretty good at knowing where to pack my stuff, and when to empty my pockets ahead of time so as to get through the security line as painlessly as possible. Not that it was painless, but experience definitely helped.
We had lunch in the exotic, romantic Kahului Airport food court. Hey, at least it wasnt PB&J. It turned out to be one of the cheapest meals we had in Hawaii: $45 for a family of 5 to eat at Burger King.
Sigh.
Anyway, we boarded the plane and took a short 30-minute hop over to the town of Kailua-Kona on the Big Island, slamming POG juice as fast as we could before touchdown.
Some maps refer to the town as Kailua-Kona. Others call it Kailua, others call it Kona, and nobody seems to know what the official name of it is. Youll even see all of these different names used on different road signs. But everyone calls it Kona, so well go with that.
The Kona airport is actually pretty tiny and consists of open-air terminals and gates. You actually de-plane on a ramp rather than a jetway and walk on the tarmac to your gate. It was a new experience for us, and we thought it added to the sense of adventure. Hey, its the little things.
Heres Sarah posing in the terminal.
We got our rental car (this time, it was a Nissan Rogue), packed our things inside, and headed out. The airport is about 7 miles north of Kona, which is important to note because the rental companies tell you to fill up within a 7-mile radius of the airport if you want your tank to be considered full on return. Thankfully theres a Costco just north of Kona that fits the bill (if you can find it, that is).
We turned in the opposite directionnorth, away from town. We drove for about 30 miles or so across the barren, dry western coast. There are a lot of high-end resorts in this area since its the dry side of the island, but most of them line the coast. The highway is further inland and traverses a lot of old lava flows from various eruptions of Mauna Loa. All along the drive, people have gathered white volcanic rocks and made various messages or shapes in the fields. As graffiti goes, its certainly preferable to a can of spray paint.
Our destination was the
Puukohola Heiau National Historic Site. At this site around 1790, King Kamehameha I built a temple (or heiau) to the Hawaiian war god in the hopes of fulfilling a prophecy that he would conquer the rest of the Hawaiian islands. If you recall, this would eventually work out well for him. As the story goes, thousands upon thousands of (ahem) volunteers formed a human chain 25 miles long, passing rocks all the way up from the Pololu Valley on the north side of the island over the Kohala Mountain to this site. No mortar was used, but the rocks were so neatly stacked that the structure still stands (with an assist from some restoration work a few years ago).
The visitor center is small and houses a few exhibits showcasing the Hawaiian culture, the construction of the heiau, and displays some artifacts as well.
This exhibit allowed you to try and lift a sample stone that was used in the construction of the temple. Id guess it weighed a good 50 lbs. or so. Imagine a human chain 25 miles along passing these up a mountain all day.
And this little beauty is a weapon made from sharks teeth. It was great for close-quarters battle, where you could saw it across your enemys throat. I was very discouraged to learn they did not sell these in the gift shop.
After we got our coveted passport stamp, we headed out for a short trail to see the heiau.
Its a massive structure, and its hard to get a sense of the scale because its uphill and you cant get very close to it. So take my word for it
not that you have much of a choice.
Nearby is another structure that was used as a fort. An Englishman named John Young was captured by Hawaiians here, but made into an advisor for their army. Hawaiians tended to recruit foreigners in order to take advantage of their technology (cannons, rifles, etc.) and military knowledge.
Here you can see how neatly stacked the stones are in the walls. Ill have to ask Julie to contrast this with the appearance of my sons chest of drawers.
Just down the hill was an inlet and a small beach. Somewhere under the water in this inlet, the Hawaiians built a sacred temple honoring the sharks and shark gods. They would occasionally hang food on pitchforks in the water to attract sharks who would hopefully be appeased by their offerings. No word on whether those offerings occasionally included some of their enemies.
Nearby was a leaning stone, where the chief would sit and watch the sharks in the cove.
Unfortunately, we didnt see any sharks in the water. If only there were some way to attract them
What? No, we didnt throw Sharkbait in the water. Although he did seem appropriately dressed.
Our visit done, we piled back into the car and drove back south towards Kona. About 3 miles from town, we stopped at
Kaloko-Honokohau National Historical Park.
As near as I can tell, thats Hawaiian for Government Boondoggle.
This park basically consisted of a small visitor center atop a lava field next to a couple of fish ponds on the coast. Supposedly its there to preserve the history and culture of ancient Hawaiians who used the area to fish, grow crops and practice their religion.
Maybe Im biased because I have to watch the government perform archaeological studies on every single project site that magically come to the exact same conclusions (previous cultures used this land to grow crops and built simple dwellings, used horses and waterways for transport, and built simple tools) every single time. But really, couldnt you say that regarding just about any random piece of property? Diamond Head, where you can hike the interior of a volcano AND a military installation, is only a state park, but this gets National Park protection?
Maybe my blood sugar was low. Who knows? In any case, I wasnt impressed when we arrived. We wandered up to the visitor center (which basically consisted of a park ranger and a gift shop area), and the park ranger seemed so thrilled to actually have visitors that he pulled us aside and started into a grand speech that he obviously practiced every morning in front of the mirror.
I know what youre thinking, he said. Youre looking around at this site thinking, What kind of a waste of government money is this?
Wow, hes good. Thats exactly what I was thinking.
Then he went into talking about the culture and their fishing, etc., and I know Im a really horrible person, but I was more interested in a gecko I saw crawling up the wall behind him. The kids were definitely more interested in the lizard.
Anyway, he rambled on for a while, and then informed us that the visitor center actually closed in a few minutes. Darn it all.
However, he said, the park is always open. Its just the parking lot that closes. Okay. Youre working way too hard to put mystery into this.
He then explained that we could drive 2 miles out of our way to an alternate entrance to some trails to continue our adventure. Yeah, well get right on that. Never seen a fish pond before.
Then he gave his grand finale. He asked us where we were from, and we told him that we hailed from the great state of Delaware. Usually that throws some people for a loop, since there arent too many of us, but he was unfazed. Did you know that Hawaii was discovered by people from Delaware? I bet you didnt know that.
We agreed that no, we didnt know that.
Well, you kids are from Delaware. And youre here, setting foot where youve never been before, in Hawaii. So you are now discovering Hawaii.
Pardon me for a moment.
Ok, I appreciate his message. And full points for the enthusiasm. And yes, we all agree that I'm a jerk. But, dude
youre trying way too hard. If you have to work this hard to sell us on the place, maybe theres not much here to buy?
Julie was all warmth and charm: Thank you so much. Hey, where do we get our National Park passport stamped?
Leave it to her to find a way to say what we were all thinking.
Coming Up Next: A peek at our digs for the night. And, is this (beer) heaven?
You trusted him for restaurant advice??? After your experience in Chicago??? 
aboard!
I appreciate it. Obviously, I love my wife very much. And I'm not dumb enough to say negative things about her on a message board. 
