...And Then Scotty Happened. A Hawaiian Adventure (CHAPTER 32 Added 5/23--THE END)

[franandaj]

Crazy Shirts was a cool store. Probably a bit overpriced, but we expected that in Hawaii.

As it is in Laguna Beach!

 

[afwdwfan]

(note: my aunt praised me for brewing it strong every morning)

Well, good for you. Maybe you should open up a coffee shop. If you call Starbucks, Kathy would single handedly give you plenty of business to turn a profit.

So, I checked with the kids. Scotty, as cautious as ever, decided there were too many unknowns involved to try it.

Any regrets?

Anyway, just the fact that Dan was willing to set this up for me just goes to show how cool DISer’s are in general, and how awesome Dan is in specific. Thanks, man.

Yes, that is awesome. Nicely done, Dan.

It appeared to be a popular spot for first-time surfers and paddle-boarders to get their feet w—ok, sorry, I can’t use that obvious pun here. You might start to think this is one of Barry’s TR’s.

No... we know better than that. I mean it looks like something he might write, but we all know he hasn't updated a TR in something like 2 years now.

Naturally, this tendency completely disappears once you become an adult.

Naturally...

At least there was absolutely nothing to worry about in terms of sending them out in the ocean.

Nah... stuff like that always happens to somebody else...

I didn’t really get to hear the specifics, so don’t expect me to give you any demonstrations later.

We'd rather see Sarah and Dave do the demonstrations anyway.

I guess I should say “waves” since it was so calm, but you have to start small.

Seriously, it was amazing. I never dreamed they’d have such an easy time of it, but they were consistently getting on their feet and riding the waves in. They looked like naturals.

Awesome!!!!!

After she left, Sharkbait and Chum begged to go out and try again. Sure, why not?

You've got the boards right there, and when's the next time they'll ever be in Hawaii???

Then we piled into the Jeep (miraculously returned to us after Hana)

I never really thought about this. But you had a Jeep. And it was a rental. If you didn't take it off of the pavement at some point, I think you'd have to have your man card revoked.

Anyway, a banyan tree planted in 1873 looked like a perfect spot for lunch, so we sat on a bench under the tree and had our standard gourmet meal of crème de la peanut and grape reduction sauce on baked, sliced dough.

Mmmmm... sounds good. I might have to try that sometime. Do you think they serve it at Chefs de France?

I’m sure my kids enjoyed the never-ending stream of profanity.

When I was their age, hearing adults curse was always highly entertaining.

because David and I were on a special mission that afternoon. We were going to cross an item off my bucket list.

Interesting...

 

[jwwi]

"I read a study somewhere that said family trips are usually among the favorite memories of most kids. My dad had an interesting point about that--his theory was that they were one of the few times when your kids have your undivided attention, and most of your attention is spent working to make them happy and give them a fun, memorable time. "

I think your Dad is right. Most of the time when you are working and raising a family it is hard to enjoy every moment. All that togetherness, and focusing on the kids just makes for some really great times. Our big family trip, not counting all the little ones to FL and Disney, was to the 1996 Olympics. It felt like we were going to break our bank. But the memory of that trip is priceless...... And I guess we recovered financially too!

Great picture of the kids surfing, looks like a lot of fun.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Sooooo many amazing updates!! I am THRILLED you went on the road to Hana! We....didn't. On our honeymoon we WANTED to go to Hana. Really, we did. But....there was this cocktail at the hotel that was served inside a pineapple inside a waterfall grotto...and, we just kept choosing that instead. OOPS.

Can't imagine why!

But those curves and twists and bumps and unpaved roads you were on looked good too! Actually, the roads are curvy and crazy and all uphill both ways in St John, too, so in a way, I kind of feel like I HAVE been on that drive. Just the Caribbean version of it, lol!

Well, there you go. And you lived to tell the tale!

How AMAZING your kids surfed!! That was our favorite accomplishment in Hawaii- it was totally righteous, Dude! So thrilling to see your two oldest doing it!

So cool! We were thrilled for them, and they were obviously having a blast.

We saw that Banyan tree when we were in Maui! It was HUGE!!!! I remember it being the size of an entire block- is that still right?

Yes! Dan's pictures show it a little better. We couldn't fit the whole thing into the frame.

Awesome pics, dude.......

family knows me well.

here are a few pics from our trip to help in your last chapter...i figured you would like the panoramic one...

a panoramic for your viewing pleasure.

Good one! That shows the sheer size of it. We didn't find a way to fit the whole thing into one picture.

took the picture first before i saw the signs that says keep off the tree. and i figured with a pregnant candi who was going to yell at a pregnant lady right?

see forgiveness instead of permission.

Worked out just fine! And you're right, you're not allowed to yell at pregnant women.

maybe that is why the tree drops some stuff out of it, and it lands on a person.

Nah, it's just you.

and in case people dont believe your true story about the tree, here is visual evidence to back you up on the history of it here.

As it is in Laguna Beach!

But at least it's better quality than the standard Wal-Mart t-shirt.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Well, good for you. Maybe you should open up a coffee shop. If you call Starbucks, Kathy would single handedly give you plenty of business to turn a profit.

Any regrets?

I don't think so. He's very...cautious. I think he did make a comment about trying it next time, though. You know, when we get back to Hawaii in 2049.

Yes, that is awesome. Nicely done, Dan.

No... we know better than that. I mean it looks like something he might write, but we all know he hasn't updated a TR in something like 2 years now.

And he's not around to defend himself, either.

Naturally...

You didn't get infinite patience? Did you miss the meeting?

Nah... stuff like that always happens to somebody else...

We wrapped raw sides of beef around their arms and legs to give them extra padding and protection.

We'd rather see Sarah and Dave do the demonstrations anyway.

No, you'd rather see me fall on my rear end.

Awesome!!!!!

You've got the boards right there, and when's the next time they'll ever be in Hawaii???

Yeah, that was pretty much the thought process. And we paid for the boards till 2 p.m.

I never really thought about this. But you had a Jeep. And it was a rental. If you didn't take it off of the pavement at some point, I think you'd have to have your man card revoked.

Well then, it's a good thing we did that little off-road tr--uh, I mean, I would never have dreamed of doing such a thing.

Mmmmm... sounds good. I might have to try that sometime. Do you think they serve it at Chefs de France?

I'm sure they do! Ask for the kids menu.

When I was their age, hearing adults curse was always highly entertaining.

But less entertaining for your parents when you started repeating it, right?

Interesting...

It was a...memorable experience.

I think your Dad is right. Most of the time when you are working and raising a family it is hard to enjoy every moment. All that togetherness, and focusing on the kids just makes for some really great times. Our big family trip, not counting all the little ones to FL and Disney, was to the 1996 Olympics. It felt like we were going to break our bank. But the memory of that trip is priceless...... And I guess we recovered financially too!

I bet that was a great trip! I'm glad you decided to go. How many chances do you get to attend the Olympics?

Great picture of the kids surfing, looks like a lot of fun.

 

[marvali]

I am so far behind around here I don't think I will ever get all caught up on the DIS again.

I didn't want you to think I had forgotten about you, so I figured I would drop by and leave a few words to let you know I am still alive.











cheese balls








bacon











fried apple pies














Okay, I actually did make it through all your updates but I must admit I had to skim some. More lovely beach pics, including the one of the red sand beach that I'm guessing you "borrowed" from the internet.

Cool bamboo forest, and I have to agree hiking that far to see a 400' waterfall and they hide it from you is just not right, especially after you tortured, uh encouraged, your family to continue hiking.

How cool that you found the little church with Lindberg's grave site. I never knew he was buried on Maui.

I've ridden on some rather rough roads in my time, so that one actually didn't look all that "unimproved" to me. Well, I guess I can't say I've ever been on one where the railing was made of PVC though.

And yes, those parts of trips are the things your kids remember for the rest of their lives.

How cool that Dan set you up with your own private surfing instructor for the kids. He seems to be a pretty good guy, no matter what I normally say about him in private.

Maybe I was skimming at the time so I'm not sure if you said which was Chum and which was Sharkbait, but they both looked like they were having a great time and did a whole lot better than I probably would have!

Our lunchtime view:

Wow. Someone took some good pictures.

I'm guessing that would be Mark's lovely wife!!!


Waited until now to comment on your lunch, but "crème de la peanut and grape reduction sauce on baked, sliced dough" just about cost me a computer monitor and keyboard! I enjoy a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but I'm guessing it was borderline gourmet with such beautiful scenery to go along with it!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I am so far behind around here I don't think I will ever get all caught up on the DIS again.

It happens. No worries.

I didn't want you to think I had forgotten about you, so I figured I would drop by and leave a few words to let you know I am still alive.

cheese balls

bacon

fried apple pies

Okay, I actually did make it through all your updates but I must admit I had to skim some. More lovely beach pics, including the one of the red sand beach that I'm guessing you "borrowed" from the internet.

Cool bamboo forest, and I have to agree hiking that far to see a 400' waterfall and they hide it from you is just not right, especially after you tortured, uh encouraged, your family to continue hiking.

Well, the first waterfall was not the 400' beauty. We didn't make it to that one.

How cool that you found the little church with Lindberg's grave site. I never knew he was buried on Maui.

I didn't either. I was alerted by the guidebook as well as my nemesis (middlepat).

I've ridden on some rather rough roads in my time, so that one actually didn't look all that "unimproved" to me. Well, I guess I can't say I've ever been on one where the railing was made of PVC though.

Just proving once again that it's never so bad it can't get worse!

And yes, those parts of trips are the things your kids remember for the rest of their lives.

How cool that Dan set you up with your own private surfing instructor for the kids. He seems to be a pretty good guy, no matter what I normally say about him in private.

So "@#$%@#$% #$%^&" means "good guy"?

Maybe I was skimming at the time so I'm not sure if you said which was Chum and which was Sharkbait, but they both looked like they were having a great time and did a whole lot better than I probably would have!

Sounds like you got the gist of it!

I'm guessing that would be Mark's lovely wife!!!

Waited until now to comment on your lunch, but "crème de la peanut and grape reduction sauce on baked, sliced dough" just about cost me a computer monitor and keyboard! I enjoy a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but I'm guessing it was borderline gourmet with such beautiful scenery to go along with it!

The meal was definitely more about the atmosphere!

 

[MNtwinsplus1mom]

Just wanted to thank you for the great tip on trying VRBO for our stay in Volcano on the Big Island. We found a 3 bedroom place quickly that looks fantastic and is reasonably priced, so we booked it! Vacation homes really weren't on our radar until now.

I will be patiently waiting for the Big Island portion of your report and continue to enjoy reading about the other islands with a little caution. (We are limiting ourselves to 2 islands.)

Really enjoyed the report on the surfing. They did an amazing job!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Just wanted to thank you for the great tip on trying VRBO for our stay in Volcano on the Big Island. We found a 3 bedroom place quickly that looks fantastic and is reasonably priced, so we booked it! Vacation homes really weren't on our radar until now.

Great! They hadn't been on our radar until the last couple of years, when I found more and more trouble trying to travel with a family of 5 due to restrictions on the number of people in a room at hotels. It really opened my eyes that there are some good deals out there where you can get nice accommodations at sometimes better rates than the hotels. I hope it works out well for you!

I will be patiently waiting for the Big Island portion of your report and continue to enjoy reading about the other islands with a little caution. (We are limiting ourselves to 2 islands.)

We'll get there! (eventually)

Really enjoyed the report on the surfing. They did an amazing job!

We were very proud! (in case you couldn't tell)

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

You know the feeling. You’re watching TV, or politely thumbing through a friend’s vacation photos, or snoozing through a trip report written by some guy you’ve never actually met on an obscure online message board just because even that is preferable to actually doing work, and then a certain image or idea hits you. Something captures your imagination, and you think, “Wow…wouldn’t it be great if I could do/see/experience that?”

Come to think of it, that’s how we ended up in Hawaii in the first place.

My point is that this is how the Bucket List gets formed. When that something captures your imagination, you make the decision that it’s something you want to do before you kick the bucket (or die, for those of you not familiar with weird American slang phrases).

My bucket list item was to play golf at the Kapalua Plantation Course, part of the Kapalua Resort. I’ve played golf all of my life, have always loved it, and was once halfway decent at the game. Theoretically, I still do love it, but ever since I had kids I only get to play a couple of times a year and have been reduced to being overjoyed if I actually get a shot in the air and can find the ball afterwards.

Not only that, I confess to being one of those weirdos that actually enjoys watching golf on TV. I have no excuse for this. But I know you’ll take it easy on me in the comments on this chapter.

Part of the fun of watching golf on TV is annoying Julie and Sarah with endless golf broadcasts on Sunday afternoons in the spring and summer. But another part of the fun is seeing the scenery and beauty of each course, as most of them are built in gorgeous locations around the world. Every January, the PGA Tour schedule begins with the Tournament of Champions at the Kapalua Plantation Course on Maui. This events hosts all of the winners of the previous year’s tournaments as they play for the first prize of the year. It’s not a major tournament and some of the top players don’t even bother to show up. The real draw is the course itself, carved into the slopes of the West Maui Mountains overlooking the Pacific coast and the island of Molokai. It’s a stunning setting that looks amazing when broadcast in glorious high definition. They’re the kind of images that make a golf nut say, “If I’m ever in Maui, I’m playing that course.”

Fast-forward to June 2013. We’re on Maui. Guess what I’m doing?

This afternoon of golf took some planning and negotiation. The Kapalua resort ain’t cheap. Yes, everything in Hawaii is expensive, but the high-end resorts add the word “ridiculously” to “expensive”. When I looked up the prices to play at this course, the regular 18-hole rate was (gulp) $278.

Fortunately, the rates were reduced at 11:00 a.m. to a much more reasonable “Mid-Day Rate” of $228.

Ouch. Ok, there was still the Twilight rate starting at 2:00 p.m. of $178. And then a “Late Afternoon” rate of $128 that started at 4 p.m., a start time that guaranteed I wouldn’t have enough time to play all 18 holes before dark.

So yeah, this was going to be painful on the wallet. I am used to playing “twilight” rates here at home, because it’s a great way to make the game more affordable, avoid crowds, and even take the boys once in a while. This, on the other hand, would be the most I’d ever paid for a round of golf.

Julie and I hemmed and hawed over this until I noticed that they had “junior” golf rates posted for golfers under the age of 17. It stated that after 2:20 p.m., all juniors could play for free (with a paid adult). So, if I could get a tee time after 2:20, I could take one of the boys for that same $178 price. That’s still crazy expensive, but getting 2 of us to play for that price felt like a much better value. David had been really getting into golf over the last year or two (and showcasing a nice swing on the range), so Julie decided he could have a once-in-a-lifetime golf experience with me, and the round would be my Father’s Day gift. Best. Father’s. Day. Gift. Ever. Thanks honey!

I got a 2:30 p.m. tee time. The plan was for Julie to drop me and Dave off at the course, and then spend the afternoon in Lahaina with Sarah and Scotty, and then come back and pick us up in the evening.

Julie dropped us off as planned and Dave and I walked into the clubhouse to be robbed at gunpoi—uh, pay the greens fee. Inside they had a display case showing the trophy that is awarded to the winner of the pro tournament each year.

After filling out all of the required forms in triplicate for the second mortgage, we picked up our rented clubs (additional fee for me, free for Big Dave) and cart and headed to the practice green. We could have headed to the range to “warm up”, but by the time we got there it probably would have been time to tee off, and I’m not sure either one of our games is good enough where a casual observer would be able to tell if we were “warmed up”. The starter called us over and said he was letting a foursome tee off in front of us. He said the foursome claimed they were good golfers and would play fast, and he thought that would give me and Dave the chance to play with nobody coming behind us and give us the time to enjoy the course to ourselves. I think he was figuring that with Dave being 9 years old we’d probably be slow. Anyway, I loved the idea of not having anyone breathing down our necks from behind, so I told him that was fine.

By the way, in order to keep things moving, I usually have Dave tee off from the 150-yard marker on every hole since he doesn’t hit it far enough to play from the tees. I used to have him tee off from the 100-yard marker, until he started hitting his tee shots over the green. It works pretty well.

The sun was intermittently moving in and out of clouds, and it looked like the mountain behind us was pretty well socked in. Still, the view from the first tee was glorious. You can see the island of Molokai in the distance on the right.

The foursome in front of us teed off, spraying balls in every direction except onto the fairway. The starter gulped and said, “Uh oh. I hope I didn’t make a mistake.”

D’oh.

Anyway, they eventually made their way to the green, and I was ready to tee off. The starter told me the ideal shot was about 200 yards to the left side of the fairway, where it would catch a slope and run down to a flat area at the top of a hill, leaving a perfect angle to the green.

Ha! Like I have any idea where the ball is going. I promptly duffed one 150 yards into the right rough.

“I’m just not warmed up yet,” I told the starter as we sped off.

Here’s a shot looking back toward the clubhouse and 18th hole. The 18th hole is known for that extreme downhill slope. It’s also downwind. Catch the drive right, and it’ll go forever. Some pros have hit drives well over 400 yards on that hole.

Anyway, I won’t re-count how I played on each hole, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a golfer all these years, it’s that nobody else cares how you played on each hole. So we’ll just flip through some pictures instead.

Dave took this picture of me getting ready to tee off. As you can see, I was abiding by the rule that all golfers should wear ugly pants/shorts.

Here’s my partner. If you ever want to see Dave blissfully happy, just let him play sports. He’d been looking forward to this from the start of the trip. Can you tell?

This is the 5th hole, which I thought was gorgeous. I liked the way the green was set out over the canyon here. It’s a par 5, so you can try to reach the green in 2 shots if you dare. Misses will end up tumbling down the canyon somewhere.

Here Dave demonstrates his form. When he’s out breaking Tiger Woods’ records, just remember that I taught him everything he knows. (about what not to do)

Looking back towards Molokai. One of the hallmarks of the course is the extreme slopes you have to deal with, and you can see how steep the fairway is. It’s hard to get to a spot where you’re standing on flat ground. This goes for the greens as well. I had several 2-ft. putts that broke more than 6 inches left or right, depending on the slopes.

During this afternoon, I found out that Dave is a literalist. There’s no gray area with him. On this hole, I asked if he could take my picture. “Okay,” he said, and immediately grabbed the camera and clicked the shutter.

On another hole, we were driving in the cart looking for a spot for him to tee off. I saw the 150-yard marker, but it was on a steep slope, so I told him I’d look for a flatter spot where he could tee up his shot. Then I spotted one just up ahead.

“Ok, Dave, why don’t you get out and tee off here?” I said. “Okay,” he said, and hopped out of the cart.

While we were still moving at full speed.

Now, granted, full speed for a golf cart is not much faster than the Tomorrowland Speedway. But he still went tumbling you-know-what-over-teakettle down the hill. I immediately stopped and leapt out of the cart, grabbing him and checking to make sure he was ok. He was sore and crying, but there were no marks on him. I asked why he’d done that.

“I thought you meant get out right now,” he cried.

Luckily, he was no worse for the wear. And he would have had to lose limbs to stop playing golf. So we picked ourselves up and marched on.

Here’s the beautiful 8th hole. It’s a beautiful par 3 where you have to hit a shot over another canyon.

The sun was still battling the clouds at this point. We had a few sprinkles of rain here and there, but nothing that bothered us. The group ahead of us had proven to be…well, not very good, but they made up for that by playing extremely slowly. So we had to wait on every shot. Typical golf etiquette states that you let faster groups play through, but these guys apparently weren’t interested in being polite.

I wasn’t playing all that well, but that was to be expected. I had barely played at all prior to the trip, and the course was incredibly difficult in addition to being beautiful. It was kicking my butt.

Of course, I hadn’t warmed up on the range, and I was using rented clubs, not the ones I own that are fitted to my game. And when the sun was out, it was in my eyes.

Anyway, I didn’t care about my score. Dave and I were having a great time. The weather was nice, the views were spectacular, and the course was in great shape. We finished up the front 9, left the green, and saw this as we drove toward the clubhouse:

Yes, it’s very pretty. But there’s a problem here. Not only is there no pot of gold at the end on the green there, but notice which direction we’re facing. That’s the direction we had to drive to get to the back nine. And that’s where the clouds are.

As we got to the 10th hole, we started getting hit with a light, misty rain. Not enough to bother us, but enough to be noticeable. I put up the window on the front of the car to block the raindrops as we drove.

As Dave got ready to tee off on the 10th fairway, I noticed the view across the hole towards the ocean and thought it looked beautiful. So I grabbed the camera and tried to time it just right, and I was fortunate enough to capture one of my favorite pictures I’ve ever taken:

We’re printing that one out as an 8.5”x11” print to hang in Dave’s bedroom.

Sadly, that was the last we’d see of the sun. Where did it go? Out to sea:

We got to one more picture-postcard hole, the par 3 11th:

And then the camera got put away. The rain started coming down harder, and the wind picked up, which made it tougher to stay dry. The rental clubs didn’t come with umbrellas. We got to the point where we would drive to our balls, turn the cart into the wind, jump out and run to the ball with hopefully the right club, hit the shot without bothering to aim, and then run back to hunker down under the small roof of the cart.

After another hole or two, it became obvious that this rain wasn’t going to blow over. It was here to stay. We had suddenly been transported from Maui to Scotland. Dave and I were getting soaked, and the wind was strong enough that we were actually shivering.

Did we quit? No! As a wise caddie once said, “I’d keep playing. I don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for another couple of hours.” Also, I’d paid $200 for this amazing, memorable golf experience and might never get back to Maui. We were finishing, come H-E-Double Hockey Sticks or (more likely) high water.

Dave was totally on board with that. As I said, you can’t pry him away from sports. I could have told him a tsunami was about to hit the island, and he would have asked if there was enough time to squeeze in a couple of holes.

Unfortunately, the foursome in front of us didn’t quit, either. So we still had an interminable wait on every hole. This was the kind of group where a guy would slowly walk out of the cart, check out his ball, walk back to the cart, grab a club, walk back to the ball, take 4 practice swings, line up his shot, take another 4 practice swings, then address the ball, take a mighty swing, chunk it along the ground about 20 feet or so, walk back to the cart, and drive 20 feet forward to start the process all over again.

Dave and I tried to make a game of it. We raced to see who could run to their ball the fastest from the cart. We had a lot of laughs, and at one point I said, “Well, Dave…you’ll always remember the day you played Kapalua.” He gave me a fist-bump.

I did take a couple of other golf pictures. One was on the 16th hole. I’d hit my drive way down near the cart path and had to hit the 2nd shot uphill toward the green, which I could barely see. I took a whack at it and jumped back into the cart. When we drove up the hill and I could actually see the green, I was pleasantly surprised to discover this:

Yes, even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes. I made the putt and got my only birdie of the day. Tiger Woods has played in the Tournament of Champions in past years, and has made a par on the 16th hole during the tournament. So I beat Tiger Woods.

Our cart was equipped with a GPS device that showed a map of every hole as you played it, as well as the distance from your cart to the green. I liked to say that the GPS told us how far we STILL had to go. Part of the way through the round, Dave discovered that you could pull up an animated flyover of each hole, along with narration that gave tips on how to play it. We drove up to the final tee, the beautiful downhill 18th hole. The narration on the GPS told us to pause for a moment and enjoy the beautiful views of the ocean and the island of Molokai beyond. Dave and I just turned to each other and laughed.

Drenched from head to toe, we finished the round and drove up to the clubhouse, turned in the clubs and cart, and squished our way up the stairs and into the clubhouse. The foursome that had played in front of us was waiting there, and one of them looked at Dave and said, “Wow, you’re tough! I can’t believe you played through that.”

I told them it was probably our only chance to play the course, so we didn’t want to quit. They said that was the reason they’d kept going too—turns out they were a group from New Jersey. I didn’t make any snarky comments about slow play. What did it matter at that point? They asked me to take a group picture for them, and then reciprocated for me and Dave. Here are the two drowned rats:

Julie picked us up and I was thrilled to be able to get rid of my waterlogged shoes and socks and put on some sandals. Dave got completely changed into his bathing suit from the morning surf lessons, which was now drier than our golf clothes.

We drove into Lahaina for dinner as I told Julie all about our afternoon adventure. Julie, Sarah and Scotty had spent the afternoon shopping, browsing in a Barnes & Noble, and eating shave ice, and seemed to have enjoyed it all. Not a drop of rain had fallen in Lahaina.

Dinner was at the Lahaina Pizza Company on Front Street. We picked it just because we were in a pizza mood that evening.

The pizza itself was sort-of a Chicago deep-dish style, but not as thick or heavy. And to be honest, it was just ok. It fit the bill because we were hungry and it’s really hard to screw up pizza, but I don’t think we’d be in a rush to go back.

Then again, maybe I was just exhausted.

…and then Scotty happened.

So, the Bucket List Kapalua Golf Experience hadn’t gone exactly as planned. However, the secret of a happy life is not your circumstances, but rather your attitude about them, and Dave and I had chosen to laugh rather than grumble. It certainly was a memorable day. I’d gotten a chance to spend a whole afternoon one-on-one with my son playing a course we’d only dreamed about. I mentioned to Dave that he’d really hit the jackpot—spending a day on Maui, learning how to surf in the morning and playing 18 holes at the world-famous Kapalua Plantation Course in the afternoon.

“Yeah,” he said. “It was pretty much the best day ever.”

So we had that going for us, which was nice.

Coming Up Next: Just your average laid-back rest day with windsurfers and wildlife.

 

[KatMark]

So, the Bucket List Kapalua Golf Experience hadn’t gone exactly as planned. However, the secret of a happy life is not your circumstances, but rather your attitude about them, and Dave and I had chosen to laugh rather than grumble. It certainly was a memorable day. I’d gotten a chance to spend a whole afternoon one-on-one with my son playing a course we’d only dreamed about. I mentioned to Dave that he’d really hit the jackpot—spending a day on Maui, learning how to surf in the morning and playing 18 holes at the world-famous Kapalua Plantation Course in the afternoon.

“Yeah,” he said. “It was pretty much the best day ever.”

So we had that going for us, which was nice.

And that right there sums up the entire day just as it should be. My only question is why didn't Dave have on ugly shorts like yours?

I can't watch golf...bores me to tears, but our oldest son who has a membership at a course here, will watch it all day long if he's not out coaching baseball.

Good to finally see a picture of Julie...haven't seen her for awhile.

Coming Up Next: Just your average laid-back rest day with windsurfers and wildlife.

Can't wait for the next update.

 

[Poolrat]

What a wonderful father/son afternoon.

A beautiful course and extra time to enjoy it

You have some great memories and great pictures to show for it.

 

[Mrs. Knowitall]

However, the secret of a happy life is not your circumstances, but rather your attitude about them.

Truth.





And I still crack up thinking about David tumbling out of the golf cart at full speed.

 

[Iamthequeen]

I just found this trip report on the dvc section and read it all the way through. You have a talent for bringing your trip to life!

First of all, congrats on #4. I was a bit shocked when #4 came along too, but she is a joy in my life!

Aulani sounds awesome and one of these years dh and I will get there. I was on the Big Island in March. My brother and sil retired there several years ago and my sister and I made the trek to visit. We weren't there nearly long enough and didn't leave the Big Island. So that just means we need to go back again - one, or three or six more times!

I cracked up laughing at the story of Dave tumbling out of the golf cart. Glad he didn't suffer any lasting damage. Its really wonderful when we get to cross an item off our bucket lists - and spending a one-on-one day with your son was just icing on the cake.

Looking forward to reading about the Big Island and seeing how your trip matches up to my experiences. Malasadas! Macadamia Nuts! Donkey Balls!

 

[afwdwfan]

My bucket list item was to play golf at the Kapalua Plantation Course, part of the Kapalua Resort.

Seems like an admirable bucket list item to me.

and was once halfway decent at the game.

Did you bring the "spot the lie" game back?

Theoretically, I still do love it, but ever since I had kids I only get to play a couple of times a year and have been reduced to being overjoyed if I actually get a shot in the air and can find the ball afterwards.

I'm right there with you. I played a grand total of once this past summer.

Not only that, I confess to being one of those weirdos that actually enjoys watching golf on TV.

Nothing better for a good Sunday afternoon nap.

But I know you’ll take it easy on me in the comments on this chapter.

Well, you should know better.

Julie and I hemmed and hawed over this

You did it wrong. It is better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.

David had been really getting into golf over the last year or two (and showcasing a nice swing on the range), so Julie decided he could have a once-in-a-lifetime golf experience with me, and the round would be my Father’s Day gift. Best. Father’s. Day. Gift. Ever. Thanks honey!

And the Budget Committee came through!

Ha! Like I have any idea where the ball is going. I promptly duffed one 150 yards into the right rough.

I laugh, because I know the feeling all too well.

Dave took this picture of me getting ready to tee off. As you can see, I was abiding by the rule that all golfers should wear ugly pants/shorts.

Not only were they ugly, they were 80's NBA short.

Misses will end up tumbling down the canyon somewhere.

That's what a mulligan is for.

Here Dave demonstrates his form. When he’s out breaking Tiger Woods’ records, just remember that I taught him everything he knows. (about what not to do)

“Ok, Dave, why don’t you get out and tee off here?” I said. “Okay,” he said, and hopped out of the cart.

While we were still moving at full speed.

Now, granted, full speed for a golf cart is not much faster than the Tomorrowland Speedway. But he still went tumbling you-know-what-over-teakettle down the hill. I immediately stopped and leapt out of the cart, grabbing him and checking to make sure he was ok. He was sore and crying, but there were no marks on him. I asked why he’d done that.

“I thought you meant get out right now,” he cried.

And then Sco... Wait a minute. Wrong kid.

Typical golf etiquette states that you let faster groups play through, but these guys apparently weren’t interested in being polite.

See... the way I play, I'd enjoy playing behind them. Hit a bad shot. Well, that was just practice. Plenty of time to get another ball out and try again.

So I grabbed the camera and tried to time it just right, and I was fortunate enough to capture one of my favorite pictures I’ve ever taken:

You did a good job! I'm sure Dave will be proud to display that one for years to come!

Tiger Woods has played in the Tournament of Champions in past years, and has made a par on the 16th hole during the tournament. So I beat Tiger Woods.

Does this mean I can expect to see you teeing off when I groggily wake up from my nap while I'm watching the Masters next spring?

Dave and I just turned to each other and laughed.

Sometimes technology just likes to taunt us.

but I don’t think we’d be in a rush to go back.

Really? I mean, it is on Maui...

However, the secret of a happy life is not your circumstances, but rather your attitude about them

Was this the tip you got when you caddied for the Dalai Lama?

I’d gotten a chance to spend a whole afternoon one-on-one with my son playing a course we’d only dreamed about.

Definitely a great Fathers Day gift. Now we'll just have to see if Julie can do any better next year.

“Yeah,” he said. “It was pretty much the best day ever.”

And I still crack up thinking about David tumbling out of the golf cart at full speed.

 

[jedijill]

What a great day! So happy you guys got to spend some father/son time in a beautiful place doing what you both love!

Jill in CO

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Chapter 17: It's a Cinderella Story...

It's in the hole!

You know the feeling. You’re watching TV, or politely thumbing through a friend’s vacation photos, or snoozing through a trip report written by some guy you’ve never actually met on an obscure online message board just because even that is preferable to actually doing work, and then a certain image or idea hits you. Something captures your imagination, and you think, “Wow…wouldn’t it be great if I could do/see/experience that?”

I have no idea what you’re talking about.
(and I’m stunningly bad at telling lies)

Not only that, I confess to being one of those weirdos that actually enjoys watching golf on TV.

The play by play goes like this:
- A person swings a club
- Camera swings on and upward angle to look at vast blue nothingness
- Long exposure of blue nothingness…
- blue… blue… blue… blue…
- Camera swings down to green nothingness…
- green… green… green…
- Close-up of ball that for all we know was placed while we stared at blue nothingness.
- Repeat (ad nauseam)

I have no excuse for this.

That’s all right… there is no excuse for watching it on the Telle.

Now playing the game… that’s a totally different animal (something like a cross between a Badger and a Wildebeest to be precise, but a completely different animal to be sure.)

But I know you’ll take it easy on me in the comments on this chapter.

Oh sure…
You can count on that happening.

Part of the fun of watching golf on TV is annoying Julie and Sarah with endless golf broadcasts on Sunday afternoons in the spring and summer.

Winning both the “Husband of the Year” and “Father of the Year” awards outright.

But another part of the fun is seeing the scenery and beauty of each course, as most of them are built in gorgeous locations around the world.

OK… this is true.
My DW actually works for a country club and while it’s certainly not Hawaii (and while that fact doesn’t translate into our being allowed on the course either), even that course is very a pretty location.

Fast-forward to June 2013. We’re on Maui. Guess what I’m doing?

Driving on questionable roads and swimming with the fishes?

When I looked up the prices to play at this course, the regular 18-hole rate was (gulp) $278.

Julie and I hemmed and hawed over this until I noticed that they had “junior” golf rates posted for golfers under the age of 17. It stated that after 2:20 p.m., all juniors could play for free (with a paid adult). So, if I could get a tee time after 2:20, I could take one of the boys for that same $178 price.

Better, but yup… still pricey.
Until you add in the fact that you’re on an internationally heralded course in the midst of a tropical paradise, so it may just be worth it.

I paid too much to take my son parasailing on Castaway Cay and I certainly still consider that to have been worth it.

The foursome in front of us teed off, spraying balls in every direction except onto the fairway.

“You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.”

“Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.”

I promptly duffed one 150 yards into the right rough.

“Double turds!”


(We may have to start calling you “Spalding”)

Dave took this picture of me getting ready to tee off. As you can see, I was abiding by the rule that all golfers should wear ugly pants/shorts.

Oh, that’s the worst-looking thing I ever saw. What, when you buy this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?

Oh, but it looks good on you.

Here Dave demonstrates his form. When he’s out breaking Tiger Woods’ records, just remember that I taught him everything he knows

“He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think…”

“Ok, Dave, why don’t you get out and tee off here?” I said. “Okay,” he said, and hopped out of the cart.

While we were still moving at full speed.

And then “Dave” happened.

Glad he was OK, but I gott’a say…

The group ahead of us had proven to be…well, not very good, but they made up for that by playing extremely slowly.

So you had that going for you…

Of course, I hadn’t warmed up on the range, and I was using rented clubs, not the ones I own that are fitted to my game. And when the sun was out, it was in my eyes.

“I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!”

(Yah… I know… wrong movie, but certainly apropos)

Did we quit? No! As a wise caddie once said, “I’d keep playing. I don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for another couple of hours.”

“You're right. Anyway, the Good Lord would never disrupt the best game of my life.”

Also, I’d paid $200 for this amazing, memorable golf experience and might never get back to Maui. We were finishing, come H-E-Double Hockey Sticks or (more likely) high water.

Shouldn’t that be: “H-E-Double Putters” in this instance?
Or maybe: “H-E-Triple Six-Irons”

So, the Bucket List Kapalua Golf Experience hadn’t gone exactly as planned.

Sure it did. You planned to play that course on that trip and that’s what happened. Plan executed.
It’s just as with most trips that, the universe conspired to add additional excitement and humorous memories to the experience; thus providing you with a better story. If it weren’t for the pictures to prove the point, I’d say that you made it up so that we wouldn’t fall asleep reading the description of a golf game.

However, the secret of a happy life is not your circumstances, but rather your attitude about them.

Second secret… first secret: keep wife happy.
Then keep a good attitude.
Then… everything else will fall into place.

(of course more money makes that third part considerably easier, but still…)

 

[afwdwfan]

The play by play goes like this:
- A person swings a club
- Camera swings on and upward angle to look at vast blue nothingness
- Long exposure of blue nothingness…
- blue… blue… blue… blue…
- Camera swings down to green nothingness…
- green… green… green…
- Close-up of ball that for all we know was placed while we stared at blue nothingness.
- Repeat (ad nauseam)

So you watch a lot of golf too then?

Shouldn’t that be: “H-E-Double Putters” in this instance?
Or maybe: “H-E-Triple Six-Irons”

You might be on to something.

 

[WDW2012]

Despite the rain that sounds like a perfect father/son day. I despise golf but being the dutiful wife that I am, played (more like drove the cart) when my hubby and I were in Hawaii for our honeymoon as it was on his bucket list. I can't remember where we played but I do remember that the course was beautiful. Now of course 13 years later hubby is a much better player and would love to go back and play again.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

So you watch a lot of golf too then?

You could say that.

My dad watched a lot of golf. Still does (along with every other televised event that even remotely qualifies as a sport). So… when I was a kid – back in the Stone Age – back when a house had one TV (if any) – what Poppa was watching was also what we were watching or we watched nothing.

I’ve seen my share of televised golf and it's one reason I don’t watch it any more (don’t have to ).
I suspect that I’d enjoy playing the game (although I don’t have the salary required to find out), but as for watching it…

You might be on to something.

High praise coming form you sir.