Am I too sensitive?

[focusondisney]

And I do initiate lunch as much as anyone else but it seems when I do no one is interested so I let it go. I have decided I will probably just start eating outside the office alot more. We are supposed to do that anyway, company policy and all.

Sorry. I'm going against the majority. I think there is some problem between the coworkers & you. They leave you out of their plans & they don't want to participate in yours. Snippy comments about being left out won't help. I wouldn't push the issue, just be friendy & wait til things blow over.

 

[SC Minnie]

We had 7 people that worked in a room. When someone would order out or would want to go out they would ask 'anybody want to go get XXX today' or 'I'm going to XXX anybody want anything'. We had 1 instigator that loved to great drama. For some reason she all of the sudden got mad at me and another woman in here. The instigator would IM 2 others in the group and only those 3 would go out. They would leave the room a few minutes apart and meet up in the parking lot so no one would see them. It was so childish and these 3 really weren't close friends. The one was trying to turn the other 2 against us and since she was the stronger personality they were going along with it. It felt like Jr High in there.

I finally had to let it go. I didn't care if the instigator or really even the other 2 liked me. I am there to do a job not to make life long friends (if that happens its a bonus). But it did change the whole atmosphere in the room and dept. Luckily the instigator got another job (and only have a 1 day notice). We were jumping for joy when she left.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Well, maybe I'm sensitive too but I'd be hurt also. If you used to always order, they know you always order too, then it's deliberate behavior to leave you out. It is not that hard to ask a few people if they want in on an order before you call. And it's not always easy to place your own order if there is a minimum delivery amount.

I'm sorry things have changed, OP. Other than trying to directly ask if you ticked them off, I don't think you can do much more than you already have done.

I agree....and I would also be hurt. Doesn't mean there's not more going on than meets the eye, but it's hard to control what hurts us. I wouldn't say anything more to them about it, though. If they do sometime include you, that's fine. But don't expect it since they've shown they don't have any intention of including you.

It sounds very cliquish to me.

Here's what I'd do.

I'd do a lunch order with my assistant. I'd make the offer to the boss.

If one fo the other peole said something to me, I"d probably say "Oh was I supposed to ask everyone? Because lately that hasn't been happening when you guys order lunch so I though the group lunch thing was finished. Assistant and I were talking and just decided to grab lunch from Joe's Pizza. I figurd you guys had your lunch order all set. Ooops".

The key is to say this in a very casual "yeah whatvere this is how I'm roling now" tone.

Passive aggressive and I would not do this. Not that I wouldn't *think* about doing it, however.

 

[Kellydelly]

I agree that it is rude to order out and not ask everyone in the office if they are interested. There are half a dozen of you not 20 . I would feel a bit hurt too.

Do you volunteer to go pick up the food when they do include you?

 

[disykat]

I don't see anything wrong with the other half of the office deciding to order on their own. My guess is that the half that started ordering first would just think "they finally get it, we want to do separate orders!"

To me, the first group was the passive aggressive one. They should have just said it's more conveninent for them to order with just the three of them.