Hello, I feel like I have agoraphobia because I don't know how to cope with current issues or issues that I will be facing in the future (near and far). I have a lot of fears and I feel like everyone wants to put them against me when I am upset. I feel angry all the time because I don't know how to cope. I can't read a book to take mind of stuff. Can't watch a movie. I feel like if I am wasting time being afraid of everything. The thing is that i went through life being "me." Being who I was, happy, excited for the next day, always doing something even if it was the same thing day after day. Now I just feel bored all the time doing the same things day in and day out. I don't know how people go to one job day after day and do the same thing Whether it be paper work or dealing with people. I can't deal with people any more after an incident but I know I will have to deal with people in the future due to a court case that is pending. I am hoping it will settle but since it has been 5 years I highly doubt that it will settle. Nothing brings me joy...Not even Disney. I always thought I would love Disney World but now I just don't know who i am any more because I always am judging myelf. I'm 25 years old and still watch Sesame Street (no i don't have kids). I still watch pbs kids because I can't deal with all the negativity on the news. I know the things on the news doesn't deal with me, but it COULD. Anything could happen and I feel like if someone told me The world was going to end tomorrow, I would believe it. My mom says there's either science or religion to believe in...I don't believe in either. Studies are always changing and I don't know why God creates things in order to take them away. I don't enjoy disney world any more because i always go with my mom and I know there will be a time when she won't be around any more. --------------------------- Anyway, more issues... For some reason (i dunno why), My dad asked me if I wanted to go to Vegas in May and invite a friend. I dunno why i said yes with my known issues. My past trips haven't been that fun... September 11, I forgot most of my clothes except for my nightshirt and the outfit I was wearing....February 2012 I got sick with a foot infection and was in bed the entire time. But then again i had some fun times, but when I was a kid i now remember getting a stomach virus when i was there but i got through it because of my mom. Anyhow, back to the current issue. I'm afraid of what my friend will think of me. . We've been corresponding through texts/letters and I feel like I'm 2 different people now a days because I can write forever (like i'm doing now), but when it comes face to face I don't know what to say, like I need to keep the conversation going or it will become awkward. But the hardest part is being interested in what people say. I'm not interested in what I have to say myself. I know my friend might read this and apologize for any hurt feelings but it's the way i feel. ------------------------------------------------ can any one help? My doctor has diagnosed me w/ severe depression & PTSD. My life is a nightmare 24/7. I will believe anything and can come confused if too many people think i have x,y,z.