Advice for multi-generational family trip

[kristenandrick]

Hello all! We are going on a large family vacation with extended family. The youngest is going to be 7 months and the oldest 61 and recovering from chemo treatments. With a total of 8 adults, 3 teenagers, and 2 kids I am worried about tempers flaring and agitation setting in. Does anyone have any advice on the best way to do the parks together? TIA for any help

 

[LovesTimone]

Will you all be staying together ... in the parks, meals and so forth. This is a recipe for problems.

I suggest meeting for meals, and a few rides.

Maybe a character breakfast then kinda split up, then meet back for dinner.
This way if someone need's to lay down or wants to lay by the pool they can, without feeling bad. Also it will help on the " What do you want to do now" or 'ride', or " ready to eat".

The teenager's will want to ride the mountains and the little kids the slower rides. This way everyone gets to ride what they really want.

A few years ago we did a family trip: Here is what I planned for one of the days.

AK - Whole group -Character breakfast with Donald, then we did the safari and the P Forest walk together, Split up into groups some headed for the thrill rides, other to see the Lion King. We meet and saw It's a bugs life then all had lunch, split up again for more rides, some headed back to the resort for pool or a nap, Met up again ( everyone) for dinner at DTD.

This is just a suggestion, it worked out great for us, the only time there was pouting is on the day we had to leave... NO -one wanted too.

Have a wonderful time

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Will you all be staying together ... in the parks, meals and so forth. This is a recipe for problems.

I suggest meeting for meals, and a few rides.

Maybe a character breakfast then kinda split up, then meet back for dinner.
This way if someone need's to lay down or wants to lay by the pool they can, without feeling bad. Also it will help on the " What do you want to do now" or 'ride', or " ready to eat".

The teenager's will want to ride the mountains and the little kids the slower rides. This way everyone gets to ride what they really want.

A few years ago we did a family trip: Here is what I planned for one of the days.

AK - Whole group -Character breakfast with Donald, then we did the safari and the P Forest walk together, Split up into groups some headed for the thrill rides, other to see the Lion King. We meet and saw It's a bugs life then all had lunch, split up again for more rides, some headed back to the resort for pool or a nap, Met up again ( everyone) for dinner at DTD.

This is just a suggestion, it worked out great for us, the only time there was pouting is on the day we had to leave... NO -one wanted too.

Have a wonderful time

I couldn't agree more! Any time you have a large group, it takes a committee decision for each and every thing to do if you insist on all staying together. We find the "do what you like; it's your vacation too." philosophy works great on cruises too. Sometimes we'd have 17 or 19 of us sailing together. We'd eat dinner every night together and sometimes see each other around the ship, with maybe 2 beach days planned but otherwise we all do different excursions, etc. Works great and no hard feelings when we all agree on this from the start.
Have a great time!

 

[kristenandrick]

Thanks! I really like the idea of everyone doing their own thing with a couple of common events.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

I've travelled with a group of 11-12 multiple times. I'll share the techniques that worked for us--YMMV.

We had our family (DH and I, a son and a duaghter at the time), BIL's fmaily (wife and three girls), and MIL, sometimes with a friend.

We agreed to be in the same park on the same day, and would have dinner and sometimes breakfast together. 3 meals a day was too much--not that we didn't get along, just the logistics of having to wait for part of the group to arrive, etc.

For those dinners, we had each group make a list of their choices. Then a representative from each faction--that would be BIL and I--would go into a room to hash out the meals. Neither side got all their choices. BIL and I would then go back to our group, review the plan, and come back together for any final tweaking. This was done in good humor, after Thanksgiving dinner, and everyone was reasonably satisfied at the end. And of course, any group was free to make whatever lunch plans they desired.

Most important, bring a sense of humor, be flexible, and hash out expectations ahead of time. We hired a babysitter and did a "parents night out" at EMH, for example (our kids were quite young). We did a similar thing at the old Pleasure Island. We never expected Grandma to babysit, although lots of families do this.

Some other things you might consider: might the teens like some park time without parents? Might the younger kids like time with just one parent or another? (I couldn't tell if they were siblings or cousins). With cell phones, the parks make a great place to test the waters on independence, depending on ages and your level of comfort. We now have 4 kids over an 11-year span, so we are masters at splitting up in various ways to accomodate various needs.

 

[Jill in Chicago]

Do not try to stay together! Then first you have to agree where to go next, and then what way to get there, and by that time someone will need a bathroom stop and a drink.....

Ask for ideas in planning which parks to attend on which days. Most likely no one will know. so you get to pick which parks. Then ask again for food ideas, and get those in place.

Then add, "Our family is heading out at this time. These are our first 3 attractions. Join or not up to YOU." Call us if you want to meet up.

Keep repeating this is your choice, or yes people will begin to say, "It's always your way," or, "Who said you were in charge?"

Plan a couple of nights to have dinner right at the hotel, either order out pizza, or do the local hotel counter service. This is low key, the children can be in and out of the pool, and everyone can easily talk together.

Have one day where you don't book a particular park, or make reservations. Then everyone can vote where to go, and you can do counter service. No one will feel like you are "in charge" that day. Of course you and I know you'll still actually have plans. Baaaahhhhaaaa!

Good luck. I could not do the big group. I have found that the women always want to have a consensus and that can take hours and hours.

 

[daisyduck123]

What helped the most for us was that DH, the kids, & I stayed at one resort and each set of grandparents was at a different resort. That way there was not too much togetherness. We would meet at the parks each day & have a dinner ADR together.

On days that we all wanted to swim together, we went to Blizzard Beach or Typhoon Lagoon.

 

[heather4Disney]

I think knowing your audience is the best and no rose coloured glasses. If tempers are likely to flair, have separate hotels and allow for days alone with your own family. How many cars will there be available and will you need to drive anyone ? I like someone's idea about letting the teenagers go. Most teenagers enjoy that freedom and puts them in the right mood for the rest of the trip.
I know my BFF is doing an Orlando trip with her MIL who she does NOT like... she doesn't have her staying in her room and she has 3 park days booked where she will likely not spend it with her MIL. She will likely spend meals together during the week on non-Park days and some time by the pools.
I'm going with my parents and the 5 of us and we are renting a house. It saves money for my parents but we are used to having my parents stay with us since they stay with us at my own home. We know how to work around each other and know when to give each other space.

 

[starsweeper]

I agree. Trying to keep everyone doing the same thing at all times would be a disaster. We had planned to go with my parents in a couple years, before Mom had breast cancer--up in the air now as she receives treatment. We planned to meet up for some meals and split the kids up at times so DH and I could focus on 1-2 kids or have time by ourselves, and so they could do the same.

 

[arthuruscg]

My family did a similar trip. with my parents, my brother + fiance, my other brother + wife (soon ex) + 6m daughter, me+ wife + 18m son.

Split up to enjoy your time together and apart.

If you trust the teenagers, let them have some freedom but with checking in via text where in the park they are at. They will always find the parents (source of food) if they can't charge food on their own cards.

Also, if the 2 kids get along but have different parents, it might be nice for the parents to trade who is watching the kids. That way the couples can each get a few hrs of alone time.

 

[cheshireqt]

We did an eleven member multi-generational trip with age ranges infant to 92 yrs of age. Would love to reminisce and share what worked for us.

Same hotel: We stayed at the same hotel to facilitate ease of linking up and getting to and from parks.

Motorscooter: I got a motorscooter delivered to the hotel for my Grandma and we drove our SUV and my sister rented a minivan to go to and from the hotel and parks. We used a small trailer on the back of our SUV for the scooter. Front row parking with the handicap pass. You may want to think about a scooter for your group member that is recovering from cancer. Scooter was ordered from Randys Mobility and they dropped it off and picked it back up at the end of our trip. We got one with a sun shade which was wonderful. You should not have any problems getting on and off Disney transportation system with one either.

GAC card: we did not get one b/c it was pretty obvious why Grandma, though spry, could not stand in the lines and needed to go through the handicap entrances, but you might want to think about it for your situation. The entire family was able to accompany her through her entrance. Sometimes they would have us wait to get on rides until our fair turn (with benches available to sit on/or she could stay on her scooter until nearly the last moment), sometimes we even walked right on.

Plan your itinerary and let the rest of the group know it: We planned our itinerary, with plenty of emails flying back and forth about which parks which days and meals we wanted to do together. I was the researcher/expert so I chose the parks for each day that I thought would be least crowded and then we planned meals around those. I then put together our plan based on what had been agreed/discussed and let everyone else know they were welcome to move around with us on our schedule or do their own thing. My Mom, StepDad and Grandmother elected to stay with us the entire time and we had a wonderful time. My sister and her DH elected to do a couple of things differently as far as meals and parks and it was good to know that ahead of time.

Expectation Management: I made sure my kids (8 and 11 at the time) and especially DH understood that this would not be commando go go go til you drop, that we would spend some time during the heat of the day at the resort and that we had plenty of time to do everything we wanted and we would take time to sit on a bench and smell the roses. This was my Grandmother's first and probably only trip to Disney so we wanted to focus on making it magical for her. Everyone agreed that this would be our focus and it made our third trip to the world extra magical for us because of it! Since she still rides all the coasters she was easy to accommodate. The only ride I did not let her ride (and I had to tell her it was closed for maintenance. b/c telling her no was not going to work ) was the RockNRoller Coaster. I just did not think that one was a good idea. Could not hide ToT from her (all those screaming people) and she loved it. My Mom did not

Split up: We did split up at parks some when my sister wanted to do younger rides with her little people and we wanted to do bigger rides. My Mom and Grandma rode all the bigger rides (ToT, Splash, SpaceMtn etc). We would meet back somewhere at the park or resort or sometimes not until the evening meal. A lot of that was prearranged but not all of it. We did take their kids to Fantasmic and they took our kids out and about to the big rides at DS. They enjoyed that and we enjoyed seeing our 4 year old nephew ooh and ahh. The infant slept until the dragon came out and then he was big eyed and watched it too. Still love that memory of them both watching with their little mouths in O's and their eyes bright and big!

Baby Swap: this was a big bonus as someone would sit out with the baby and then that someone would ride with all three kids immediately after. My kids and their oldest (a tall 'almost' 5 yr old) got to ride almost all the rides twice in a row!

Meal Plan: We were all on the meal plan so we did not have figure out how to split up the check at the end of TS meals, or collect money for counterservice meals so that only a couple of us stood in line. Just collect up the cards and viola the meal is paid for. We prearranged payment of TS tips amongst ourselves, so there was no discussion/issue with that ever.

I tend to be a bit wordy, but hope something in there helps you. Most of all tell yourself every day before you go how wonderful it is that you get to do this as multi-generational! Attitude is half the battle sometimes Hope you do have a truly wonderful time of bonding and no tempers flare

 

[Jenn]

I second the scooter or wheelchair recommendation for family member recovering from chemo. We traveled with my father in law during chemo and he was just exhausted. MIL and FIL started out with us each day, but left parks in the afternoon and went back to hotel. We rented a wheelchair for him and he never could have made it without it.

We are heading to Disneyland with my whole family over new years and we are renting a wheelchair again, this time for my mom. She has COPD and emphasema. She gets winded very easily. She isn't too happy about the wheelchair, but with 6 grand kids she will never be able to keep up. We are gonna decorate it and make it fun .

 

[bless7ings]

Cheshireqt I thought your post was great and very informative!

You need to do what will work best for your family, but I can't express enough communication before hand is KEY!

We have done two trips with our large family and my parents. The first time I was wondering how it would work out and my MIL was shaking her head and saying she couldn't believe we were doing it! It was such a great experience we invited them to go with us the second time!! The kids enjoyed being with their grandparents and asked for them to come again!

That being said you do need to know your audience. And EXPECTATIONS do need to be discussed up front even with the kids.

Without reiterating what Chesireqt said I will add my two cents if it will help. I wasn't sure on the first trip it would work hence all the meetings and talks with my parents. I was the planner and my parents loved that. I let them know all the options etc of Disney and we decided together. We stayed at the same hotel. My mom would not settle for anything less then deluxe, but she paid for their room with my kids in it. Bonus for us when I got figuring it out. I didn't think we could afford it, but found out it wasn't much more than what we would have paid for two rooms at moderate. ...and I can say we have been spoiled and love the deluxes!

First off my grandparents took all six of their children and families to Disney and payed for the rooms in Disney, so it was kinda generational in some ways. My Grandmother gets along with everyone and loves to do what everyone is doing. My father is the same way. Where ever our family was he was. My mother did a lot with us but did her own things too. She realized after she missed out on a lot of fun with the grandkids.

We are a very family oriented family and always have been.(me growing up that way - A family that plays together stays together.) Basically, the mornings were planned by me with variety of older and younger rides. Some days would be mostly older and some days would be mostly younger. It all was in the park and the navigation. I just made sure there was something for everyone. I took lots of polls on rides, food etc. Made sure they all had their most important picks. I did a lot of research on how to make things run smoothly in the navigation. It really does work, but I had to be very careful because my husband would rather just go and let it happen to an extent. So that was my challenge in planning for such a wide range of ages and different personalities!

Mainly as I was saying the mornings were planned strategically. I took the GREAT advice of people that said to get out of the parks at the mid day heat, because thats when the tempers fly whether it is the younger kids or older people! We would take the younger kids back to the hotel and feed them and put them down for naps. The older younger ones would go to the pool with mostly dad because he is the water guy, but we would take turns because mom didn't want to miss out either. The older kids could do what they wanted, but ended up going with their grandparents most of the time. We would usually get going again about 4ish and planned most meals for around 5:30ish. We planned mostly nightly sit down meals. Usually one big breakfast with character. I let my mother plan her meals because she cared to and I asked for the ones that was the most important to me that they came to. We ate at least half the meals together, but it was nice for them to have some alone time too! I think we all felt that we saw each other and did a lot together, but yet had enough alone time too. We usually hung out at night together too. At least until the little ones had to go to bed. We then took turns staying at the hotel. It usually worked out because someone was always in need of a little down time or alone time!

I think that was the bulk of it. I hope someone enjoys this and gets some ideas and is encouraged to take a risk and make some great family memories!

 

[Iforgetmypassword]

What helped the most for us was that DH, the kids, & I stayed at one resort and each set of grandparents was at a different resort. That way there was not too much togetherness. We would meet at the parks each day & have a dinner ADR together.

On days that we all wanted to swim together, we went to Blizzard Beach or Typhoon Lagoon.

We're going to do the opposite: we have a big condo, with each couple in their own bedroom. We'll spend our time in the parks maybe together, maybe not. Whatever. But, we will gather together in the evening, back at the condo, and may spend time swimming, etc. then.

We have only one meal planned for all of us: Chef Mickey, for breakfast on the first day. Then, we'll probably split up. It depends on what everyone wants to do. Every family unit will have their own car, so they won't have to go with others.

That's the key: everyone does what THEY want to do.

 

[Wills Mom]

There are 11 of us travelling in May. We are separating into 2 different villas in the same area. My parents (aged 58 and 55), my sister (26), DH and I with DS who will be 14 months are in one house with my aunts family (aunt and uncle who are 60 and 63, cousin and his wife who are 34 and 31 and their DS who will be 2) in the other house. Both houses have their own car and Sat Nav (as it will be my cousins first trip) I have planned 2 ADRs for our group - first park day we will eat at The Plaza and on our last park day we will eat at Crystal Palace for breakfast. We have told them they can go their own way as much or as little as they want but I have a loose itinerary with a good few non park, chill out days so they know their options before we go. I'm hoping it will work out ok, I think the fact we're in different houses but closeby should help!

 

[kulisa]

Hello,

I also plan to visit WDW with a large family ( 7 people) unfotunately none of them speaks english.

Currently I'm trying to "cherry pick" attractions we all could emjoy together (kids are 2 and 6, parents 33 and 32 and grand parents 53 and 58 ).

While splitting is out of question, it can accidently happend and it is their lack of english that worries me.

I was thinking outfitting everyone with walkie -talkie or at least some tracking device in case anyone gets lost or needs help.

Anyone here who was in similar situation and/or tried some kind of tracking or communication device to keep track of family members?

I would appreciate any advice...
Thank you,