Adults only trip and guilt

[Movingtothemouse]

Does anyone else feel guilty about doing this? This past May DH and I had a 5 day beach trip planned just for the two of us but my stepdad died and we turned it into a big family trip to include my Mom and siblings.

DH and I are now planning a Disney trip in Oct that went from 4 days to 7 and I think my guilt is more at the number of days and the extra money that we will be spending as a result.

I am the Mom that never buys anything for herself. My last treat was getting my nails done last summer. I am a SAHM and currently go to school for my Master's degree and this summer while it has been nice to sleep in a little has been hectic. In addition to my 3 kids, my house is always full of their friends running in and out, constant lunches and snacks, every 2 minutes hearing a cell phone notification going off, you know the super annoying ones that apparently teenage kids have to have, being a lifeguard, and supervising sleepovers.

I am burned out and I am soooo looking forward to this vacation without the kids just to relax, do the things that I want to do without complaints from little voices, and not have to always keep looking behind me to make sure the kids are still there, but I feel guilty for taking a full week off.

Anyone else?

 

[Soben]

Does anyone else feel guilty about doing this? This past May DH and I had a 5 day beach trip planned just for the two of us but my stepdad died and we turned it into a big family trip to include my Mom and siblings.

DH and I are now planning a Disney trip in Oct that went from 4 days to 7 and I think my guilt is more at the number of days and the extra money that we will be spending as a result.

I am the Mom that never buys anything for herself. My last treat was getting my nails done last summer. I am a SAHM and currently go to school for my Master's degree and this summer while it has been nice to sleep in a little has been hectic. In addition to my 3 kids, my house is always full of their friends running in and out, constant lunches and snacks, every 2 minutes hearing a cell phone notification going off, you know the super annoying ones that apparently teenage kids have to have, being a lifeguard, and supervising sleepovers.

I am burned out and I am soooo looking forward to this vacation without the kids just to relax, do the things that I want to do without complaints from little voices, and not have to always keep looking behind me to make sure the kids are still there, but I feel guilty for taking a full week off.

Anyone else?

Yes! I'm going on a trip with some friends, since we all turned 40 this year. Been planning on it for years, but now that it's a month away, I'm wracked with guilt. I really wish everyone was coming with. I feel so bad spending the money and excluding DH and the kids.

I'm sure that once you and I are both actually on the vacation, we'll relax and have an awesome time.

And we do deserve it too!!

 

[RedHeadedFairy]

I don't have guilt over doing an Adults Only trip, I totally deserve that. But I do feel badly when it involves someplace DD loves as much as she loves Disney, and because we all enjoy Disney together. It just feels wrong to leave her out when we all have APs and go years between visits when they expire.

We have gone back & forth over this issue for an upcoming 4-day trip over Labor Day. It's also our anniversary & the *perfect* excuse to go without her. Every day I've changed my mind but over the weekend we settled on taking her this time & then planning another trip for just us that involves all the non-park things we like to do, after our APs expire. We only live 3 hours away so I have a bit of flexibility in scheduling around events like concerts at House of Blues & the Hard Rock in Orlando. We'll also do Jellyrolls, more of DTD, hit some of the resort restaurants, etc.

If we were farther away & booking each trip as a package instead of APs, I wouldn't hesitate as much - it's no different than any other vacation destination when you look at it that way, IMO.

 

[Movingtothemouse]

So glad I am not the only one I feel like I deserve this trip because I never do anything just for me but there is still some guilt. If it was 4 days I wouldn't feel so bad but since it is 7 I feel really bad lol

 

[Crazie4daMouse]

Lots of guilt here and we are taking one of our kids! We have 3 kids, DD 22, DS 18, and DS 4. We went on a cruise in May for my 18 yr old's high school graduation and included a day at MK at the end so he has had a little Disney this year. We are going to DW NEXT MONTH! Yay!!! Anyway, we are only taking our 4 yr old because our DD has no vacation yet at her job and my DS will be off at college. I know I shouldn't feel guilty about the older kids, but I DO!! :/

 

[scrappinginontario]

My answer is kinda a mixed bag. Before I became a mom, my cousin and I (she's a mom to 6) did a Disney trip together. She was wracked with guilt and I just couldn't understand it. Needless to say it caused tension on our trip.

Fast forward 2 years later when I became a mom and then I TOTALLY understood!! My dd is 4 and I have yet to leave her overnight let alone a Disney trip.

That being said, my parents always took time away for the 2 of them from the time I can remember. When I was a kid I'd whine and complain that I wasn't invited but now as an adult, I am THANKFUL they took this time away from us kids to invest in their marriage. Disney is a great place for the 2 of you to spend time together and focus on yourselves and have fun!

My parents have been married almost 54 years now and I will be forever grateful that they didn't listen to their complaining kids and took time out for themselves to invest in one another.

Go and have fun! Yes, there may be some guilt but know that in a round about way you're really doing this for the kids too!!

 

[MSSANDRA]

I could not handle the guilt so we don't do WDW without the boys. We DO other short trips ( 4 day max, so far) alone, but not WDW. College age DS will certainly reach a point soon when he just can't join us or chooses not to join us but it will be his choice, not ours. We adjust our trip to accommodate his classes right now because he does want to go! DS6 is many many years from that so no solo trips to WDW for us for a very long time. This is just our choice and no flames to anyone that makes other choices that is right for their family.

 

[Tpiejg]

My husband and I went to disney for the first time alone since my first son was born 25 years ago. I felt so guilty not sharing our vacation with our 4 kids that I almost cancelled. The silly thing was my youngest was 16. she was plenty old enough to understand and was absolutely wonderful about being excited for us to go on our own. In fact all our kids were happy for us. But I still felt guilty! In the end I think I realized our kids love us as much as we love them, and they want us to have fun and be happy too. Eventually all kids grow up and understand why their parents do what they do. We had a wonderful time. I'm so glad we went! Don't feel bad go have fun, rejuvinate and come home and plan another vacation with your kids! They will understand when they are parents one day.

 

[Movingtothemouse]

Thanks for all the replies. You all are very sweet and it makes me feel a bit better about it. Funny thing is the kids (8, 10, and 13) could care less that we are going lol. We are currently planning a big family Disney cruise for next year so that helps some.

 

[Yellowstonetim]

...I am THANKFUL they took this time away from us kids to invest in their marriage. Disney is a great place for the 2 of you to spend time together and focus on yourselves and have fun!

My parents have been married almost 54 years now and I will be forever grateful that they didn't listen to their complaining kids and took time out for themselves to invest in one another.

Go and have fun! Yes, there may be some guilt but know that in a round about way you're really doing this for the kids too!!

First, there shouldn't be guilt if you have taken your kids to Disney already. If you went to Disney and never took the kids, THEN you should feel guilty!

I agree 100% with the above.

Best thing you can do for your children is spend time away from them with your spouse to relax, have fun, and have couple time. This is healthy for the marriage. And a healthy marriage is one of the best thing for kids.

 

[Movingtothemouse]

It's settled then. No guilt lol. We have taken them to Disney twice.

 

[BeerMe]

We do it all the time - our youngest child is 32 though.

 

[corneredbycorn]

I know it's not the same age, but I left DD (16 months) with my parents when we went for our anniversary in May. I missed her terribly, but I had and have no guilt. My husband and I got to relax, drink...a lot, go to Jelly Rolls, ride Soarin' and Test Track together, and sleep in. It was wonderful. Plus we got upgraded from a standard at the Boardwalk to a Cottage Suite, which probably wouldn't have happened had we brought her (and if it did, it would have been so stressful with the staircase).

We did, however, talk often about all of the things she would have loved to see and do. So now we're going again in September and bringing her along with us for her first official trip. We are excited!

 

[sk!mom]

DH and I have taken many solo trips. I missed my kids but never felt guilty. That said, I would never plan Disney without my DD. Vegas, London, Paris, Seattle, San Antonio, San Diego - yes. Disney- no. That's just me though. DH and I love so many places more than Disney, if we're flying solo it wouldn't be at Disney. Plus if we were kid free, we don't enjoy being around other kids. We're looking for peaceful meals.

 

[hoosiergirl7]

I never feel guilty taking an Adults Only trip. Like someone else said, I do miss my kids while I'm gone. I think it's an absolute must to have time to yourself to decompress. I have not had an Adults Only trip in over 2 years and I feel like I'm going to climb the walls soon. The reason I especially love these type of trips with my husband is it lets us refocus on ourselves and our marriage. Our kids rule our lives and often we don't connect with one another. There are days we can barely get out a paragraphs worth of sentences to one another. I love my trips with my husband without the kids.

I think if my life was as chaotic as yours I would need an Adults Only trip every 6 months! Hats off to you for the Master's Degree and the kids in and out of your house all day!

 

[xipetotec]

Does anyone else feel guilty about doing this? This past May DH and I had a 5 day beach trip planned just for the two of us but my stepdad died and we turned it into a big family trip to include my Mom and siblings.

DH and I are now planning a Disney trip in Oct that went from 4 days to 7 and I think my guilt is more at the number of days and the extra money that we will be spending as a result.

I am the Mom that never buys anything for herself. My last treat was getting my nails done last summer. I am a SAHM and currently go to school for my Master's degree and this summer while it has been nice to sleep in a little has been hectic. In addition to my 3 kids, my house is always full of their friends running in and out, constant lunches and snacks, every 2 minutes hearing a cell phone notification going off, you know the super annoying ones that apparently teenage kids have to have, being a lifeguard, and supervising sleepovers.

I am burned out and I am soooo looking forward to this vacation without the kids just to relax, do the things that I want to do without complaints from little voices, and not have to always keep looking behind me to make sure the kids are still there, but I feel guilty for taking a full week off.

Anyone else?

When DW turned 30, we left the kids at home and went in October like you. Not only that, but we did MNSSHP ( as well as Universal HHN ), we also did the Epcot food and wine festival. Doing Disney as just adults is definitely a different experience, so you shouldn't feel bad. They will get to go another time. You deserve time to yourselves.

 

[Missy29]

I would feel vey guilty about going to WDW with out my kids, so guilty that I would never do it, but I will NOT feel guilty when DH and I go to Vegas next year a month after we take our boys to WDW

 

[mrsltg]

My DH and I have been to WDW four times without the kids over the course of the last 12 years. The last time was May of this year. Repeat after me - there is nothing to feel guilty about. You are a person independent of your children, and I assume you are interested in having your marriage continue when your children are grown. Each time my DH and I have gone away without the kids (we've also gone on two cruises without them), we come home with a clear reminder of why we got married in the first place! Our stress levels lower considerably (and we hardly bicker at all, anyway), and the stolen glances, and quick (but fun) groping last long after we've handed out the tee shirts and toys we accumulate for the girls! We're also a lot more patient and satisfied with everything. The break is worth it! The kids have gone to WDW many times over the years, and we don't get creative and lie to them about where we're going. They know, and they are happy for us. They also enjoy helping us plan our trip understanding that it's different from the trips they take with us (which focus on them, and what they want to do).

Disney is an amazing place for adults, and I hope you can let go of your guilt, OP, and enjoy yourself. Good luck with your decision!

 

[Movingtothemouse]

I just want to say thank you all so much for your kind and supportive words. This is such a great group and I am happy that I joined.

We picked Disney for our solo trip because every time we have gone with the kids the trip has been awesome but it has also been a trip full of bathroom breaks, stop to tie shoes breaks, stop so little feet can rest. I have to carry around a backpack full of extra clothes and I am always watching the kids like a hawk so they don't get lost or wander off. So while we love it we don't get to see the things that we are interested in. And I am sooooo looking forward to just walking around and looking at things at my own pace. We are doing MNSSHP (which I feel bad about without them) and HHN (which I would not get to do with them).

I am feeling much better about the guilt. I know we deserve this trip and we will be so much more relaxed when we get home.

 

[3mama3]

This is my secret wish! Yes, I would totally feel guilty, but I would totally LOVE EVERY MINUTE!!