This. So much this.
So often the complaints are about the childcare hassles that going to the wedding causes. Every invitation to an adult does not need to accommodate every life circumstance of that person.
Does the bride and groom have a close and personal relationship with your children? Are other children similarly situated being invited while yours are excluded? Is there no logical reason for that exclusion (in the wedding party, for example)? Unless the answer to all of these questions is "yes" I really don't understand even having the expectation that your children would be invited, let alone giving it a second thought if they weren't.
If your idea of a wedding is that it doubles as a family reunion/party for an entire community, then make your wedding that way. If you want a family reunion where the guest list is determined by having a genetic link, then host one yourself. But weddings, like marriages, are personal and should be defined by the people getting married. That people don't share the same "vision" for a wedding that you do isn't a personal attack -- an invitation shouldn't be read with an assumption of malice.
We've been invited to some weddings where our kids were invited and some where they were not. Yes, having children has required us to decline some (or have only one of us attend), but I've never given it a second thought. I've also had to decline invitations because of work schedules and finances. Childcare, like these other considerations, are part of my calculation, and I would never expect these issues to weigh in drawing up a guest list.
And quite honestly, I see a lot of posts on these threads (I'd love to know how many threads there have been on the DIS about this topic over the years) from the "OMG, my children weren't invited to the wedding!
" people who I believe, based on their shock and dismay, purposely don't go to the wedding even if it
could have worked out rather easily. Of course, there will/could be many responses to this from posters saying that they really couldn't go (childcare, travel, etc), but some posts reek of revenge with an attitude that sounds like "I'll show them! We just won't go!" and then, as evidenced in SOME posts, the hurt and anguish lingers
forever.
This is pretty much the way our family operates.
I would say why are adults necessarily more worthy of being invited than kids? I think that the children in my immediate family are much more a part of my life than, say a co worker. Why should adults automatically take priority when deciding where to draw the line with invites? I see this argument all the time and I just don't get it. Adults are no inherently more important or valuable in my life than kids.
Seriously?
NO ONE is saying that
YOU, or anyone else, should invite your co-workers because they are adults over important children in your family.
That's some serous misunderstanding of this thread.
Personally I think its ridiculous for a child to be hurt because they weren't invited to an adult's only function. I would never teach my children that their wants are so important that everyone must cater to them to make sure they aren't "hurt". I think parents who hold grudges because their precious snowflakes weren't invited to something are far more selfish than any bride and groom that chooses to have an adult only affair. I think they are immature as well. If there is fallout over the bride and groom's choice then the people holding the grudges weren't really worth an invitation anyway.
And $ isn't the only reason to limit an event to adults. If the wedding is late, you could quite easily end up with a bunch of cranky kids. And as adorable as some children can be on the dance floor, or running around tables
, I've seen some episodes lately of wedding shows where the kids dominated the celebration by taking over the dance floor and basically knocking into and getting in everyone's way, making guests want to get out of
their way and just sit. But I guess
they're just children being children and that's what makes a wedding FUN! 
