A reading from the Trip of Matthew. *New Pg.4 6/27*

[truebelievers]

Subscribing. Are you feeling the pressure?

 

[GottaGetToDisney!]

They'll be another chapter before Wednesday night.

It's Wednesday. Morning. Oh yeah, he's feeling the pressure now!

Gotta Get To Disney!


I have no ticker, so let me just say: 24 more days until I'm in DisneyWorld!!!!

 

[tink38]

Don't listen to Zzub, Matt. He like us.Really. We promise. He does.

Great report! No pressure, but do you think you could have this done in 2 weeks? I want to print it out and read it again on my way down to the World.

Again. No pressure.

LOVED the title!

 

[M&M's]

Yeesh. I'm just starting this TR and I'm already not making deadlines and taking too long between installments. I guess I fit right in then.

We left off on a bit of a downer. Maybe it could have been more uplifting. Oh well. Deal.

Ok, so there was nothing else noteworthy during the flight. We got off the plane upon arrival in Orlando and proceeded to the faux-o-rail. I’ve heard that the voice in this thing is the same voice as in the Disney monorail. Bet that you’ve never heard that before. In this trip report.

We found the unfortunate people with the big big hands. It’s good of Disney to employ these nice disfigured people.

Wait for it….

Because their disfigurement really came in handy! (rimshot!)

Sorry about that one.

Anyway, we proceeded down the stairs to check in with Disney’s Magical Express. I’ve dealt with Magical Express once before, and it was pretty efficient.

Well, this time was, well, actually better. We checked in within 5 minutes, walked over to the line for Pop with the handy guidance of the hamburger helpers, and proceeded to walk right through the line right onto the bus. We literally did not stop. Pretty magical I guess. Probably not so magical for the people in the other lines that we breezed right on past. They weren't so pleased. My taunting probably didn't help much.

We took our seats on the bus and waited probably 10 minutes before we got going. Still not bad for “free”. The only glitch was that the propaganda video froze while we were on our mission to mars.

Disney made an oops.

I’m sure after we got off at Pop Century that the bus was taken out of service and the bus driver was banished to sifting through the Splash Mountain dump tank for lost hats for the next six months. That’s a tough gig.

We arrived at Pop and checked in. I was all ready to go over our preferences with the super nice cast member (fourth floor, close to bus stop, but still with a view of the lake). Surprisingly, he was not "earning his ears". They all seem to be during check-in though, don't they? A small thing that can really enhance your vacation is your room location, and the person is usually a newbie. Better there than operator of Mission Space I guess.

"Um, how do I stop the spinning again?"

To be honest, however, I chickened out on giving out my demands. I’m not big on being that guy. So I let the nice cast member guy do his job and I would only intervene if our room turned out to be really bad for us. Well, he got two out of three correct. We got the fourth floor close to the bus stops. We were located in the 70’s.

We wanted the fourth to minimize the foot traffic (and to justify the use of the elevators. I could never use the elevator for just one floor, no matter how tired my legs were). We wanted close to the bus stop to also minimize all of that walking, especially for preggo.

If you are scoring at home, according to my video footage, it took us just over one hour from getting on the DME bus to standing in room 417 of the 70’s at Pop.

From there we decided to hit up the good ole’ Magic Kingdom. Because what else is there to do on property? Not much really. So we took the wonderful Disney transit system. One big question regarding this. Why can’t Disney erect some roofage for the queue lines for the busses? Standing on concrete in full on sunlight in the middle of the day while waiting for a bus is not a good combination. If it wasn’t for the fact that everyone is usually in a positive mindset due to the destination of the bus, I think there would be much more carnage. Like the clubbing of baby seals. Or cursing. One of the two.

I cannot imagine what it’s like in that queue in August at 2pm. Or even a torrential rainstorm in the middle of January. Either way, no good. C’mon Disney. At World’s End is about to net you about a bajillion kajillion dollars. Throw us tight-budgeted middle class dogs who stay at a value a bone. Or else I’ll have to stay at a moderate next time. And then you’ll be sorry that I had to spend more money.

I’ll walk the parks with a scowl.

Good thing the busses have a roof. Actually, I'm surprised they even provide us with busses. I figured they might give us roller racers or pogo balls and a map to each park along with a hearty "have at it chumps!"

Tangent again. Sorry. Once at MK using the lovely WDW bus system, we all ran past Mickey and Minnie.

”What’s up Micknie? Sorry! No time! Not in the touring plan!”

We ran through the tunnel, grabbed a times guide and map, and viewed the castle. For the first time. This trip. In the park. It was a special occasion as always.

Now what? That's all I had in the touring plan.

A rather boring photo, but it illustrates my preggo DW. And my not preggo sister-in-law. Stay tuned to see if that changes!

No, not really. What do you think this is, Passions?

Well, as Walt designed, we were naturally guided to the weenie. Down Main Street, taking in all of the broadcasted sounds and pumped out smells. Yes, it was lunchtime, so Disney does their thing, and pumps lunchtime smells out into the park.

I guess we should eat. Well, there is one place that my brother and I love to eat at MK. Any guesses?

Next Installment

 

[GottaGetToDisney!]

Cinderella's Royal Table???

Thanks for another great installment!

Gotta Get To Disney!


17 more days until we are THERE! Wooohooo!!!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Because you were: guided by the weenie.

DED.


Anwho... it could be the Biergarten too. In that case.


Glad you're back with a new installment.

Cheers, Mel.

 

[M&M's]

First off, I’m sorry. I am definitely not keeping up with a chapter a week. The problem is being able to sit down and really devote a good chunk of time to this. With my little baby and everything that comes along with her as well as keeping the house relatively clean, it doesn’t give me much free time. I do not want to put out half-butted attempts to this TR, as it wouldn’t be fair to you guys and it wouldn’t be fair to my family when we want to relive the memories down the road. So bear with me please.

We last left off with my question of where I love to eat at MK. Well, my answer will certainly surprise some people. My brother and tend to like our food juicy and smothered. So our first order of business was to go to Pecos Bill’s. Here’s a Disney tidbit you may not know. The name is actually Pecos Bill Tall Tale Inn and Café. Not sure where the Inn comes into play, however.

We really enjoy smothering our juicy burgers with mushrooms and onions. The fixin’s bar is one of our favorite free things at Disney. I’ve heard that some people reuse their refillable souvenir mugs on more than one stay. Although this may be morally wrong, Disney does not seem to care. Well, I suppose that since this act of squeakiness is deemed ok by Disney, I don’t see why one couldn’t just live off of the fixin’s bars at the MK.

If you were hungry, you could hypothetically buy the cheapest item on the menu (french fries perhaps). This would open up the fixin’s bar to you. I do not recall any rules stating a time limit to the fixin’s bar, so I’ll go with the same rule for the mugs: length of stay. Therefore, you could load your item with toppings from the bar, and that would fill you up. Then, when you are hungry again, you could return to the fixin’s bar and stuff those fried onions and mushrooms down again, maybe with some free smelly water from the water fountains if you so desire (or dare).

I did not do this. I was on the “free” dining plan. I am just saying that for those with a tight wallet (and an iron stomach), this is an option to consider.

Okay. Before you start forming opinions, no, I am not serious. I told you this is how my mind works. I am odd. Properly warned ye were.

So after my french fries with mushrooms and onions, it was off to see Jack Sparrow.

CAPTAIN…. Jack Sparrow, that is.

Captain Jack apparently has recruited a new first mate. And his name is Mack. Mack is funny. Dare I say he stole the show. Captain Jack was good, and I love his character, but Mack isn’t confined to what we saw in the movies like Jack. So he was funny, with the Disney mix of jokes for the kids as well as jokes for the adults. My SIL Daisy even became an honorary pirate, even though she’s a flaming redhead who wouldn’t last a day out in the open seas without SPF 300 applied every ten minutes.

Then we all sang the famous PotC song led by the Captain. Well, more accurately, we all sang the Yo Ho part that we know, and then sort of mumbled the rest until we got back to the Yo Ho part, which we sang again with authority.

In conclusion, despite the fact that it was pushing 90 degrees with ridiculous humidity, I enjoyed the show. We all did.

But I did have swamp-arrrrrrse. TMI.

As the show was ending and my swampy predicament was about to leak through to the rest of the World, I thought it might be time to waddle away. So naturally, as my brother and I are opportunistic, we ditched the show so we could beat the large crowd that congregated during the show that would inevitably turn around and head right into the attraction that inspired the Captain, but not Mack. He’s not in the ride (I don’t think). Jack is however, and wow, does his audio-animatronic representation look good. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out on YouTube (Jack first appears at 1:02 in the video).

Plus, PotC is a dark ride, which means air conditioning. Walt wasn’t stupid. But if you happen to be getting onto one of the boats at PotC and there’s a small puddle where you are to sit, just remember, it may not always have come from the ride. Arrrrrrrrse.

Properly warned ye be says I.

After Pirates, we wandered over to catch the tail end of a parade. We weren’t planning to watch the parade, we just happened to want to get on the other side, but obviously were unable to until the parade ended. So here’s a wonderful never before seen picture of…

The 3 o’clock parade.

Okay, now we can get across. Off to the mansion that happens to be haunted by a lot of ghosts. I can’t remember how many haunts haunt, but it’s up there. 986, maybe?

Well, whatever it is, we’re going to see them all. Which got me thinking. If you count all of the haunts in the attraction, does it really add up to 999? Has anyone ever done this? I wouldn’t be surprised if it did, being Disney and all. Attention to detail, you know.

I love this attraction. It elicits one of my best memories as a kid. First off, my dad is one of those dads that would do embarrassing things in public when he was with us. An example would be pulling up his shorts really high (like, Urkel high) and walking around with a dorky strut. He really enjoyed doing this, because we would always be so embarrassed, but we’d always be laughing the whole time.

Anyway, my dad loved to mimic the ghost host’s voice and try his best to scare us. But he’s our dad, so of course he’s not scary. But it did make us laugh and perhaps it distracted us enough to not think about really being scared of the attraction. So good on you dad. You pulled a fast one on us.

My dad is honestly one of the best dads in the world. A lot of us say it. All of us mean it. I hope I can be half the dad he was with my daughter. He always put us first over himself. For anything. Of course, as a kid, you don’t realize this. But now that I’m older and especially since I’m a dad now, I know how lucky I was. And since father’s day is approaching, you can take this time to call your dad and tell him you love him. If your dad has passed on, take this time to remember your best times together.

Ready? Okay. Aren’t dads great?

Well, Haunted Mansion was great as always. DW could ride this one as a preggo, so she and I took a doom buggy. As the buggy started moving, I thought of my dad and decided to start early with my little one. I leaned down to my wife’s belly, and said in my best ghost host impression:

“Welcome, foolish mortal, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your Dad. Your ghost Dad. Mwahahmhmhm.....Consider this dismaying observation. This womb has no windows and no doors. Hmhmhmhm. Which offers you this chilling challenge. To find a way out! Hahahahahah”

Then my wife hit me on the top of the head. “Not yet!” she says.

Well hey, what can I say? I learned from the best.

Next Installment

 

[Nicole786]

OMG this TR rocks!! You have my sense of humor! I had to stop myself from laughing out loud since im at work -- that really really hurt, so i'll have to continue at home, but this rocks!

 

[roxannensteve]

Glad to see you back around - loved this chapter as well as the rest. Take your time - enjoy the baby, we'll wait to hear the rest...

 

[Eventer98]

Just caught up...loving your report!! Can't wait for more!

 

[winkers]

I just found your report and I'm loving it! I lost track of all the things I was going to comment on, so I'll just say, you're hillarious! Oh, and I love the title!

 

[NCTWINSMOM]

Keep em coming... you are a riot!

 

[ZZUB]

So bear with me please.

NO! We will not. If you can't post your Trip Report in regular installments then we will have to abandon you for other Trip Reporters who are more responsible, even if less funny.

I'm kidding of course.

Or am I?

No, of course I'm kidding.

Aren't I?

My SIL Daisy even became an honorary pirate, even though she’s a flaming redhead who wouldn’t last a day out in the open seas without SPF 300 applied every ten minutes.

That's just honkin' hilarious. Much funnier than anything I've read in the more timely issued Trip Reports.

The thing about your dad was well put. It's funny how much more respect we have for them once we become dads. But freaking your kid out in the womb, dude, that's just sick and wrong.

 

[ncseric]

But freaking your kid out in the womb, dude, that's just sick and wrong.

And hilarious.

 

[rthutchens]

Don't leave us hanging!

 

[M&M's]

I really have to get this thing moving. We are still on arrival day. I’m slacking enough as it is. This TR may last a couple of years.

So it’ll be like mel’s. Only shorter.

And now back to the trip.

After the Haunted Mansion, DW and I meandered back through Liberty Square. We found a hidden gem for your picture taking needs. Don’t tell anyone I told you about this place. Not many people know about this. Here’s a pic:

After explaining to DW and Daisy that one shouldn’t be so happy to be in the predicament they are currently in, we tried the picture again:

Juilliard Alum they are not.

Daisy and the Miz decided they wanted to go do something. What that was, I cannot remember, but suffice it to say that they left us at this point. DW and I decided to go through that underpass where the restrooms are and cross over to Adventureland.

At this point of the trip, before our Keys to the Kingdom Tour, we were still oblivious to all of the subtle transition effects. Exiting one land and entering another hasn’t become one of my moments to quietly enjoy the magic. Yet. But more on that when we get to the tour (so, probably about six months from now).

As we entered adventureland, DW found her favorite Princess. Princess Jasmine (PJ) was there with a steroid enhanced cyanotic Robin Williams and some pauper. DW wanted a picture with her. I wanted not to wait in line. So we compromised.

Upon further review, I think DW got hosed a bit on this one. I'll have to make that up to her next time.

After that Magical Moment™, we moved on over to take a cruise in the jungle. Our skipper (alligator wrestler, lion tamer, snake charmer, dragon slayer, and maybe our swimming instructor) was a young chap named Bob. He was a witty captain who was very skilled at driving the boat. I never saw him actually look where we were going. Every once in a while, he’d just flick the helm in the other direction and we’d remarkably remain on course. Also, his material while giving the tour seemed very familiar. He should talk with the rest of the skippers, because it seems they must copy off of each other’s notes. I paid so much for this trip, and I expect more of my private cruise. So after our skipper Susan let us off of the Hall of Presidents, we met back up with Daisy and the Miz for a ride on Splash Mountain. Nothing entertaining here other than maybe this picture.

Remember waaay back to the beginning of this. I rarely smile when I see a camera pointed at me for a photo. Like a Massachusetts driver (whose nickname is understandably censored on this board) who doesn't use his directional because it will give away his intentions, I don't like to give away my current mood. So a contorted face will instinctively occur.

We decided to leave the park now because it was approaching 5:30 and Daisy and the Miz had an ADR for [insert British accent] Victoria and Albert’s. DW and I had no ADR’s planned today, so we decided to make it a nice relaxing evening by the pool and to just explore the resort. The Miz found some non-union ducks vacationing at Disney who were also waiting in line for the bus back to Pop. Hey, why should they fly back to Pop? They are on vacation too. After the Miz said “hewwo” and had his picture taken with them (because they are non-union so they can’t charge us), we headed back to Pop.

When we got back to Pop, DW and I got one(1) refillable mug and discovered the blue slushee. This was the first of many trips back to that machine for that excellent sugary beverage. Bet the deluxes don’t have this! We enjoyed many blue slushees (which I considered calling blueshees, but that sounds too much like Belushi, and I don’t want anything to do with a Belushi coming near my mouth). Anyway, we enjoyed these BLUE SLUSHEES while sitting by the pool and taking in all of that wonderful Disney atmosphere. You know, the sound of screaming kids up way past their bed time and the parents scolding them through their teeth to shut up.

The next day Daisy and the Miz said that Victoria and Albert’s was the best meal they’ve ever eaten.

The price of that meal however, brought on this.

Well. That’s the end of our arrival day. Stay tuned for our first full day, which we spent at Animal Kingdom. No animals were harmed (I don’t think).

 

[NCTWINSMOM]

Yeah! Glad to see you back! Now I'll go read your post! LOL!

 

[Nicole786]

Glad to see you return! Keep the updates coming!

 

[ncseric]

Writing a trip report like Mel HappyHaunt is not something to strive for, at least not according to ZZUB. Of course, ZZUB is now a verb thanks to his stories. I'm not sure which one is worse.

Either way, great report so far.

 

[M&M's]

Once again, the response marathon...

So, What are you saying? You left me out...snifff, sniff.. Am I not loyal? Just joking, came back for more, thats all. I love your writing style.

A super late response, but a response nonetheless. I don't know how I missed you, but I apologize. I will try not to let it happen again.

This is really great so far! I really like your style! And I know what you mean about coming the the DisBoards and discovering Trip Reports. I've been here for... what? About a month... a little more now? And I can't get out of the TR boards... they are addictive. I feel like I am at WDW every day of my life. IT'S AN AMAZING FEELING. (Whoa, all caps. Calm down, LaMagique, calm down.) Anyway... keep writing 'cause I'm reading!

That was me when I first started. I lived in the Trip Report section. Good stuff to overcome that pesky Melandisney! Anyway, I hope to keep writing. Thanks for the praise!

Finally. Someone has more nicknames for ZZUB than I do. Although I think you left out the most important one. No, not that one. The other one. The one that starts with a D. Dy-NO-mite! Or is it Dummy? I forget.

I could try this with you as well...

Just discovered your TR, Matt and I'm loving your humor.

Why thank you. I do try to make it as entertaining as I can while not deviating from the truth too much. And just so you know, I am not supposed to respond to you. Shhh.

I too have experienced Melandisney. It's not a pretty thing. TFI.

It's not a fun time. I'm experiencing it constantly now since I have no planned trips for the next year or two.

This was so funny I spewed sweet tea with lemon on my monitor.

I hope you got all the sticky out by now!

Don't look now but you may (or may not) have a spelling error back there. Somewhere. And no, I'm not saying where. Or wear, even.

There is?!? Well, I am going to let that one go, because I can't re-read my trip again.

Congratulations on your sweet baby girl! She's precious. I'm really enjoying your trip report. It's hilarious. You're off to a great start and I can't wait to see how yall roll it in the World.

Thank you. She's definitely made my world a lot better place.

Can't wait to read more!

At my pace, you'll have to wait!

You are very funny!!! (I really enjoy the sarcasm, too.) Looking forward to more!

I'm glad you enjoy my sense of humor. I wasn't sure how it would come across in print.

I'm loving it so far!!

Glad to hear!

did you know that I can be IMPATIENT at times

really am enjoying your tr

Well, if you are telling the truth, you probably aren't around anymore to read this. I be slow.

Great report so far, and an EMT to boot. Gotta love those overnight shifts... at least there's no traffic at that time of night/morning.

I currently don't do overnights. Three 13's. I don't know if I'd want the overnight. You get a lot more of the weirdos!

I'm here now.

And, I ain't gonna lie to you: It's a problem.

Anywho... I'm a NON-UNION duck. In case you were wonderin'. I sink or swim on my own.

Plus... I work for crackers. Unless they're Wheat Thins.

Heh heh.

You wanted your ego inflated???!!!


Ok.


Do this: Buy a Hummer. Or a big big dog. Or else... a really BIG treat. An Itsakadoozie. For example.

Now then: This is THE BEST trippie I've read in AGES!!!!!!


It rocks. So far.


Oh. Just remember this: He's NOT ZZUB. He's D. To the double O. To the F. US.

TFI.


Congrats on your new lovely lady!!!!

Maelstrom!!!


And watch out for some OTHER lovely ladies. Around here. NOLa.


I'm in. Like Flynn.


Cheers, Melancholy.

I'm not supposed to respond to you either. But with your post, I'm not even sure how to respond. Thanks?

Love the title -

I know The Miz - from his first stint on Real World - as well as the Inferno, the Gauntlet and all the other battles.
AND - I got the Joey adoption letter allusion - so all of this really proves that I just watch too much t.v.!

LOL



Looking forward to more!

Leah

There's no such thing as too much TV, as long as all of the other important stuff gets done (eating, sleeping, showering, etc.).

I figure: It's time to bump some other GREAT trippies UP!!!!


Bumping UP is the new wubbin' a lamp:

Thanks for the help! I need all I can get.

Hooked...you have me waiting for more!

And waiting, and waiting....

Count me in. I have a 2 month old baby girl myself. But I didn't go to Disney 20 weeks preggo. And she is my 3rd girl. An unfortunately, I'm also a reality TV junky who has gotten all referances thus far. We must be living parallel lives.

Quick! what was the name of the TV show that had couples go on an island, separate, and mingle with single people of the opposite sex?

Subscribing. Are you feeling the pressure?

My wife makes sure I'm always feeling the pressure.

Don't listen to Zzub, Matt. He like us.Really. We promise. He does.

Great report! No pressure, but do you think you could have this done in 2 weeks? I want to print it out and read it again on my way down to the World.

Again. No pressure.

LOVED the title!

Crashed and burned on that request, didn't I. I feel like Matt Hochberg on WDW Today when he reads the e-mails...

Cinderella's Royal Table???

Thanks for another great installment!

Gotta Get To Disney!


17 more days until we are THERE! Wooohooo!!!

Not CRT! Thanks for the comment! And by now, I'm sure you are home and experiencing that Melandisney. Sorry.

Because you were: guided by the weenie.

DED.

Glad I got that DED, even though I still haven't the slightest as to what it means other than it usually is a response to something very funny.

OMG this TR rocks!! You have my sense of humor! I had to stop myself from laughing out loud since im at work -- that really really hurt, so i'll have to continue at home, but this rocks!

I know what that is like since I used to work behind a computer with internet access. Just think of it as a good ab workout!

Glad to see you back around - loved this chapter as well as the rest. Take your time - enjoy the baby, we'll wait to hear the rest...

I'm responding to you this time! Thanks for the comment. I sure will.

Just caught up...loving your report!! Can't wait for more!

You caught up too fast. Let the waiting begin.

I just found your report and I'm loving it! I lost track of all the things I was going to comment on, so I'll just say, you're hillarious! Oh, and I love the title!

Yeah, I'm a little long-winded at times. Thanks for posting!

Keep em coming... you are a riot!

Ego getting larger...

NO! We will not. If you can't post your Trip Report in regular installments then we will have to abandon you for other Trip Reporters who are more responsible, even if less funny.

I'm kidding of course.

Or am I?

No, of course I'm kidding.

Aren't I?

I've gone cross-eyed.

That's just honkin' hilarious. Much funnier than anything I've read in the more timely issued Trip Reports.

Your praise is not taken lightly. Thank you sir.

The thing about your dad was well put. It's funny how much more respect we have for them once we become dads. But freaking your kid out in the womb, dude, that's just sick and wrong.

Is it? Or are you just mad you didn't think of it sooner?

Don't leave us hanging!

Heh. Sorry 'bout that.

Yeah! Glad to see you back! Now I'll go read your post! LOL!

Hey! Too excited to read it first or something?

Glad to see you return! Keep the updates coming!

I shall.... I shall.

Writing a trip report like Mel HappyHaunt is not something to strive for, at least not according to ZZUB. Of course, ZZUB is now a verb thanks to his stories. I'm not sure which one is worse.

Either way, great report so far.

I may not strive to pen a report like there's, but I sure hope to have the responses and fanfare that they have. Thank you for the comment!

Whoo. Caught up again.