A delicate thing I need help with!

[Beep]

I have a bit of a dilema. We are paying for lunch at the GFC (or Konas Cafe depending on what 'experience' I have wih GFC) and dinner at Le Cellier for our wedding. Tim and I don't drink alcohol but everyone else going does and we would like to have drinks for people with the meals.

The problem we have is with one person - my SIL. She drinks like a bl**dy fish at the best of times, but particularly when she is stressed at being in a group. We have absolutely no objection with paying for wine with the meals, but how can we tell her to a) not get drunk and embarrass everyone and b) watch the budget as we're paying!

What would you recommend? Saying people can order wine by the glass or having a few bottles on the table?

I really don't want to upset her or my brother but, on the other hand, I don't want her drunk and paying for the privilege of hearing her upset people when her lips start flapping.

Help!

 

[RangerPooh]

This is a tricky situation. How about providing a few bottles of wine for your guests to share, say place one every few seats, then if they want additional drinks then they have to pay for them theirselves. This might work if you inform your guests ahead of time that with their meal they will receive 2 (?) complimentary alcoholic beverages. Who knows, it might work. If all else fails you could talk to your brother and ask that he monitor his wifes drinking.

 

[Nicola2010]

ooh that's a tricky one Alex.

i would say it would probably be better to have some bottles on the tables to be shared as if you pay by the glass, she will be able to drink more as she could keep ordering another glass, whereas if there are a certain number of bottles that have to be shared round, her opportunity to drink like a fish will be greatly reduced (unless she doesnt care about anyone else getting some wine lol)

if you're having a server/pourer maybe alert them to this and ask them to not continuously top her glass up, im sure they wont mind helping you out.

 

[shezfrombermuda]

I agree with with Ranger Pooh and Nicola. I would order a few bottles of wine to be put on the table because ordering by the glass would be more expensive. That way you can choose the wine and she isn't likely to order more bottles, I hope! Well not as likely as she would to keep ordering glasses.

I know how you feel because I am going to have one person like this at our reception. I think I am going to speak to someone related to try and monitor his drinking because I have a feeling it will end in an embarrassing situation.

 

[Beep]

Thanks everyone, I think you are right that bottles are better than glasses.

It's a real shame that there always seems to be one - I just wish it wasn't my SIL. To be honest, we just wanted to have it as Tim, me and Mom and Dad but they felt really unfomfortable with that so we had to invite my brother and his wife. I have no problem with my brother!

There will be 9-10 drinkers so what you would recommend re bottles of wine, ie how many?

 

[DaPookie]

The other thing you could do is alert the waiter/ress ahead of time that you're offering the guests 1 complimentary drink if it's alcoholic. That way, it might slow someone down if they realize they have to pay for it themselves.

It definitely is a tricky situation! Hope it all works out!

 

[IndyBride]

Definatly just order a couple bottles per table. It's cheaper first of all and don't offer choices. Hopefully she won't find the bar! Good luck!

 

[Lynn5700]

Yeah just get the bottle's!!!

 

[Beep]

Thanks guys, the bottles it is. I swear, if she starts....!

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

I was in a wedding last year, and at the rehearsal they paid for one drink per person...and after that, we were on our own! A lot of the wedding party were older college students, so that was a wise choice.

 

[csuzannet]

There will be 9-10 drinkers so what you would recommend re bottles of wine, ie how many?

I read SOMEWHERE to figure five glasses per bottle. So 10 drinkers with two glasses a piece would be four bottles.

(Right? Math sometimes hurts. )

 

[MazdaUK]

When catering you generally allow half a bottle per person (10 people = 5 bottles) but if you want to keep it down to avoid embarassment then 4 should be fine - try not to sit her too close to anyone who doesn't drink much to be on the safe side!

 

[Beep]

Thanks for all the replies. Tim and I have had a long chat about this and we've decided to say at lunch "If anyone would like to order a glass of wine with their lunch please feel free" as we have made it clear on the information that it is a light lunch as we are eating dinner later.

For dinner we are going to order 4-5 bottles of wine and see how people want to split it ie red or white. Unfortunately she drinks both so could grab a bottle of each! We'll be keeping a close eye on her - Tim is more than willing (and happy) to have a word with her but that will be a last resort. I think he is quite disappointed!

Thanks again guys, much appreciated x