A Daily Lesson in Parenting and Manners: A TR by a real life Wicked Stepmom!

[RSoxFan]

Just wanted to let you know I'm still reading with you MissCammie!

Is it wrong to say that I'm already looking forward to August's trip report?

 

[candlekatie]

Bummer about the lost update. We will try to be patient.

 

[ADAMS4]

holy cow , great trip report. Thanks

 

[katiepettit]

Hi MissCammie

I love your trip report! I was hooked and spent the better part of 2 days trying to read the first 28 chapters - you are a wonderful writer - the stories made me laugh out loud and brought tears to my eyes.

I am new to Disboards and joined specifically so I could tell you how wonderful this story is.

Sorry to hear you lost the latest chapter, can't wait until it is ready!

Katie

 

[teresajoy]

MissCammie You write the MOST WONDERFUL trip reports!!!

I will forgive you for not announcing your updat on the Disboutique thread, maybe. .....

I had a French French teacher, there was no air conditioning in our school, and the windows only opened a slit. Enough said.

He was a fantastic teacher though!

 

[CampbellScot]

I shall now attempt to RE-write my previously lost chapter.

I will try not to think ugly thoughts of retribution as I type...

I will try to keep myself from cursing the computer so that anyone who DARES to touch it will be struck down with eternal hiccups...

*ahem*

OH...and as this was the during the length of time that my camera battery was dead as a doornail...this is a picture-less chapter...but I'm sure y'all can use your imaginations!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
After our Safari and the discovery of Zebra Eggs, it was time to head to our next destination. The kids hopped into their kid transporter and we were off!

It was time for Kali River Rapids. The ride I dressed my family for...the WET ride.

*SIGH*

Not so much a big fan of getting wet am I. I'm like a cat. Getting wet disturbs me. Unless I am in the shower...or a hot tub...not inhabited by anyone but me...b/c I have issues. Clearly.

I used to swim competitively. From Kindergarten through 10th grade...and then I had to quit due to the repeated ear infections that had caused me to lose 40% of the hearing in my left ear. Which led to cheerleading getting my full and undivided attention...which is neither here nor there...but I'm just saying...go team!

But seriously, I have my reasons. I'm not a stick in the mud for the fun of it. And honestly, even when I was little I was never a fan of getting wet. It's ick to be wet. It's uncomfortable and...wet.

It's most especially ICK on a horribly humid day that would allow for ZERO chance of drying out once the soaking took place!

I began to panic a bit as the Kali River Rapids carnage began to stream by us...they were all sopping wet...mom's were ringing out pigtails...water was dripping down legs and leaving a wet trail behind the wet people as they squelched by us.

ick.

My brain started to come up with reasons as to why I should perhaps skip this ride...

so I could take pictures...

or, PROTECT MY HEARING...definitely to protect my hearing...I mean it's a HEALTH reason...and really...

my thoughts were interrupted by Sally popping out of the kid transporter to walk beside me.

"Hi MissCammie!"

Sally grabbed my hand rather tightly.

"Hi Sweetpea!"

we walked along for a bit...and took in the same scene of WET people streaming by us.

Sally looked at me...and I SWEAR y'all that child was reading my MIND!

"MissCammie..."

"Yes Sallyrally..."

"MissCammie you PROMISED!"



"Promised what dearheart?"

"MissCammie you PROMISED to get wet at Disney! You did!"

BUT I LIED CHILD!! I LIED!! I LIED!!

"Did I promise that Sally?"

Sally narrowed her little brown eyes at me.

wow...that's almost as effective as an eyebrow arch!

almost.

"MissCammie, what about the GIRLS team?! Didn't you say we had to stick together for Girl Power? So we could do anything together...right? For the GIRLS TEAM! And because...because we LOVE each other...right MissCammie..."



That Sally is SO sly...

*SIGH*

"Yes Sally...I did say that."

"GOOD!!"

Sally kept a tight hold of my hand...so I wouldn't bolt.

My only hope now was that it would RAIN...

the birds chirping and the sudden bright sun MOCKED me.

I was out of luck.

So we parked the kid transporter and we got in line...for the WETTEST ride on the planet.

QUACK!

I will say though, that the good thing about me...if I do say so myself...is once I decide I'm going to do something, I'm in it to win it. I'm all in and ready to go. I may be seething on the inside, but that's where it ends. I don't say I'm going to do something and then make everyone around me suffer and make them feel like I'm doing them a HUGE favor just by being there...b/c that is called being a BRAT and ruining everyone else's fun. I've known one too many martyrs in my life and I do NOT aspire to be one. My very first trip to Disneyworld was completely ruined by a major act of martyrdom. The happiest place on earth was a total downer b/c the mean person I was with spent every moment telling me how stupid Disney was and how much he HATED it.

I was NOT going to be that guy.

Besides I'm a MUCH bigger fan of later date paybacks!

*ahem*

so YAY getting WET!

BRING IT ON!!

quack.

Jay rewarded my gusto with a hug. Which was nice...b/c I SO deserved one!

I did!

As we stood and waited in the humid air Sally began to worry. As is her routine.

"MissCammie is this ride sort of scary?"

"Oh no sweetie...it's a LOT scary!"

I'm not a martyr but I'm STILL wicked...

it's my job.

"MissCammieeeeeee...."

"Sallyyyyyyyyyyy"

"I'm SERIOUS."

"I know...me too!"

I smiled my sweetest smile and batted my eyelashes in a most infuriating way.

Sally decided to ask her daddy.

"Daddy is this ride scary..."

Jay gave her a grave look and said,

"MissCammie says it is..."

TAG TEAM!!!



I was about to say something else wicked when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned to see a very smiley looking woman.

Did I know this woman? Ummmm...nope.

So I smiled back at her...when in doubt, give a grin!

"I was just wondering if you knew that your shoulders are getting a bit pink? I wanted to let you know just in case you needed to reapply your sunscreen!"

Wow! This was my kind of lady!! I would have done EXACTLY the same thing! Melanoma is DEADLY people! Sunscreen every day and REapply!!

I thanked her very much and told her that I did know that my shoulders were pink. I'd gotten a bit burnt the day before waiting for the Nemo ride, and yes I'd reapplied about 45 minutes ago...with SPF 50!

Sally patted my arm and said,

"She can't help it getting burnt...she's Irish!"



true true...with a dash of Scottish thrown in! So I'm basically porcelain colored. YAY Mystic Tan!!

We chitty chatted with the nice lady and her sister for the rest of our wait.

Before I knew it, it was time to get WET.

Sally grabbed a hold of my hand as we ventured out on to the wooden dock thingie.

But just as soon as we got on to the raft she abandoned me and ran to her daddy.

"Hey Sal! What about the GIRLS team? What about Girl POWER?!"

Sally gave me a sweet smile and said,

"Sorry MissCammie...this ride is dangerous. Teddy will take care of you..."

Well how do y'all like THAT?! Sneaky little poot!

Teddy raced over to me and announced that he would indeed take care of me!

thanks Teddy bear!

I put my park bag in the center storage area...the only place that was to stay dry on this ride...I checked to see if there was room for ME...

alas...there was not!

I toyed with the idea of putting on my poncho...but I'd heard tell that ponchos do little to keep one dry on this ride...and water might get IN the poncho...which is even WORSE than just getting wet.

so I sucked it up.

I threw out a quick prayer request to St. Jude...the patron saint of Lost Causes. St. Jude is my go-to saint. He's my guy. I often find myself smack in the middle of lost causes let me tell y'all! I figured his prayers added to mine just might keep me from total soakage...cuz this is vastly important stuff...

*ahem*

Jay, the HEATHEN, laughed at me! Told me not to waste my time, I was fixin to get good and WET.

I gave him a superior look and told him NOT to mock!

I mean REALLY!

Once we were all buckled in, our raft was set free and we were off.

Teddy was scream laughing from the get go! The anticipation of a major splash was just too much for him. He threw back his head and belly laughed with every dip and spin.

Sally was clinging to her father's arm...but she was smiling. She was feeling it.

I was really rather proud of both kids. The fact that Sally was on this ride was miracle enough...but she wasn't just here b/c she was forced. She was actually ENJOYING it...if only a teensy bit.

I'd get wet a million times over just so Sally could get that whisper of a thrill.

Jay was laughing and smiling in his free and easy way. He was in the moment. He wasn't thinking about anything else. He was just here with his kids, with me...and that was enough. Jay knows how to climb inside the JOY of a moment and wrap himself up in it. I think it's that trait that has seen him through some pretty rough times. He knows how to hang on to the good stuff and let the bad stuff go.

How I WISH I could be that kind of person. But that's not me. I'm the black box on the airplane. The thing that somehow manages to survive a deadly event stuffed full of the memories of WHY things went wrong. I don't forget and I'm always on the lookout for the other shoe to drop.

cuz I'm fun like that.

I KNOW...I'm in therapy.

*ahem*

where were we?

OH YES...we were dipping and spinning and laughing and anticipating.

Can I just say that WOW that "fire part" as TEddy later called it, was HOT. I know, DUH...but seriously Disney isn't messing around! They are all about those DETAILS!

The screams started to get louder as we meandered along. No one had gotten really wet just yet.

But the big drop was coming...

Sally pressed her face into her father's arm as our raft was bumped around toward the edge...

Teddy was bouncing in his seat beside me saying "Here it comes here it comes here it comes" in near hysterical tones.

with a WHOOSH we were in it...we were in the drop...

Teddy SCREAM laughed all the way down.

We hit the bottom with a SPLASH.

I want everyone to GUESS who got SOPPED.

Who had water dripping off their eyelashes and the end of their nose?

Well let me tell y'all...it sure as shootin wasn't the girl who said a prayer to St. Jude!



Yep, that's right...Jay and Sally got the big Splash. They were SOAKED.

MissCammie...the non heathen...was DRY as a bone!

with the exception of a bit of the ruffle on my dress...

I was dry.

and Jay wasn't.

SO THERE!

Mock me again...see what happens MISTER SMARTY PANTS!

Of course I was every inch the lady and I said all of this with only my eyes.

and a superior smile.



Jay got me back by giving me a big old wet hug.



But I forgave him.

because the black box would remind me later...when paybacks were in order...



up next: The rain rain rain comes down down down!

 

[mla1977]

I guess that is the good thing about Kali being a short ride. I've been on the ones in other parks where EVERYONE come off them soaked. I think Hershey Park has one of those.

 

[acejka]

I am finally coming out of lurkdom!

I love love LOVE your trip report and it really makes my day to see an update from you.

I think you are a wonderful person and a great parent to those wonderful children. I can only pray to be half as great at it as you are.

Keep up the great work!!

 

[sunnyday123]

oh Miss Cammie you are soooo lucky!! MUST be the "luck of the Irish!"
I got absolutely soaked on that ride. *note to self: Do Not wear white t shirt on Kali Rapids. Again.*

 

[Backstage_Gal]

YAY, great update, MissCammie. Funny about Jay being soaked

 

[CampbellScot]

I guess that is the good thing about Kali being a short ride. I've been on the ones in other parks where EVERYONE come off them soaked. I think Hershey Park has one of those.

It IS a short ride!!! I noticed that too...it's over in two shakes...which is good I suppose one wants to avoid being wet!

I am finally coming out of lurkdom!

I love love LOVE your trip report and it really makes my day to see an update from you.

I think you are a wonderful person and a great parent to those wonderful children. I can only pray to be half as great at it as you are.

Keep up the great work!!

well thanks for coming out of lurkdom to say something sweet!! I'm glad you are enjoying the report!!!

oh Miss Cammie you are soooo lucky!! MUST be the "luck of the Irish!"
I got absolutely soaked on that ride. *note to self: Do Not wear white t shirt on Kali Rapids. Again.*

Were you involved in an involuntary Wet T-shirt contest?! I don't wear white...EVER...it's just one of those colors (or NON colors) that is BEGGING to get wet...or get ketchup on it...or dirt...SOMETHING!

getting wet never leads to good things!

 

[CampbellScot]

Hey Miss Cammie,

We're going to be down at the same time in August. Guess I'll have to be on the look-out for the Camoflauge diaper dude with a diet coke bottle tucked into it.

yup! That would be me!!! Hard to miss!! Hopefully this year I won't have a black eye to go with the camo bag!

I'll be waiting for the new segment.
If I may ask, Miss Cammie-for those of us who will be at WDW at the same time the CambellScots will be, if we spot the CampbellScotts is it appropriate to approach them, or would you prefer we not?

I actually asked Jay if he would be freaked out if people came up to us...he wanted to know how that would be different from any other day!



it's actually a running joke with us...I seem to run into people I know wherever we go...he's always said I have "fans"!

I'd LOVE to say howdy to people!!!!!

Thanks EVERYONE for reading and hanging in with me through my little dramas! All y'all just make my day with your wonderful feedback and funny stories.

loves to everyone!!!

 

[retiredkid]

see, I knew it.......... I KNEW IT!!!

It was worth the wait, Miss Cammie. Another great update!! Even without the pictures.

You are just about the only one I know that can really make the inflections and intonations of someone's voice come through in print.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You have a wonderful talent.

 

[Hedy]

I can't wait to hear how Sally handles being soaked.

 

[retiredkid]

I can't wait to hear how Sally handles being soaked.

My thought exactly, Hedy.

 

[Shannie]

another great part of your report!!! Cant wait to read more!!

 

[Brenle]

Loved the update. But I have to tell you. Kali is nothing, nothing compared to a ride at, dare I say, Universal. On that ride, which is a raft ride too, EVERYONE on board gets wet to soaked. No exceptions. In fact, when we got off, it looked like we went swimming with our clothes on. So if the kids or Jay try to talk you into that, you'd better say no if you equate wet with ick.

 

[turtlegirl1]

Yet another great update, thank you MissCammie!! You never fail to get me giggling & tearing up at the same time - nothing like some confused "women" emotions to get my DH all in a tizzy.... he's learning that this odd emotional outburst is perfectly OK when I'm reading one of your updates, he doesn't need to do anythign for my crazy self. Although I could probablly use it in my favor.... hmmm.

I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for your clan in August! I just stole some of your "tips" and ordered DD Land's End quick dry shorts & rash guard shirt!

Can't wait for the next update!!

 

[LUV2BNWDW]

You know Miss Cammie... I usually get out of this ride because we go in January...and everyone knows its too cold to get wet then
Though last July my 15 year old DS and took his 6 year old cousin..
She wore an ADULT poncho wrapped herself in it for the ride my ds leaned over her to help "protect" her and the little turkey gets off the ride looks at everyone else dripping wet and says.... get this "I didn't even get wet"

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Loved the update. But I have to tell you. Kali is nothing, nothing compared to a ride at, dare I say, Universal. On that ride, which is a raft ride too, EVERYONE on board gets wet to soaked. No exceptions. In fact, when we got off, it looked like we went swimming with our clothes on. So if the kids or Jay try to talk you into that, you'd better say no if you equate wet with ick.

I have to second that one. We were so wet that we rang out our tops for over five minutes and had to buy a towel to somewhat dry off. YUCK! to top it off it was dark and cool and we stayed wet till we got back to DISNEY...YUCK


Great update!!! like it wouldn't have been.... we are talking Miss Cammie here the great story teller!