9 yo son afraid to fly

[McKeeFamily3]

Ok, so we told the kids a couple of days ago that we are planning a trip to DW. We have not been in several years, DS was 3 last time we went. He remembers riding the trams and the road trip to and from DW . He said he was excited about the car trip, that it would be fun do drive. I told him that it takes 2 days to get there by car so this time we are going to fly. He said ok, then I don't want to go, plain as can be, no crying or anything. He said I'll just stay with Grandma. I couldn't believe it! I never had any idea tht he was afraid to fly. I mean, he's never been on a plane and it really hasn't come up in conversation. I just had no idea. Well I let it go for a few days, give him time to really think about it. I brought it up again and he still said he didn't want to go. I know my son though, and I had a trick up my sleeve. We are staying at POP. Soooo.... I told him that at the hotel they have all you can drink frozen cokes! He said OK I'll go! It's so funny how something so small can make such a difference. Anyway...to get to my question. He really is afraid to fly. Does anyone have any ideas to help him feel better, safer, about flying. He is 9 years old. Are there any good books out there for kids that explain how a plane works. I thought maybe understanding the mechanics of it might help. I blame DH for this btw. He's see too many "when things go wrong" tv shows with DH, lots of plane crashes on those shows.
Thanks for any advise

 

[inkkognito]

Would it help him to see "when things go right?" There is a great website called www.fearofflyinghelp.com and I bought their DVD before my transatlantic flight. It shows all the safety measures etc. and was a real reassurance to me!

 

[marc1477]

My suggestion is this, goto youtube.com and search for "Delta Connection Comair landing in Cincinnati" for a landing video and "Take Off From MCO" for a take off video. Watch these yourself to see if you think they are good ideas for him to watch.

 

[Disneyvacation]

i am 13 and still afraid to fly... i have flown many times before though. the one thing that helps me the most is when i am distracted having fun or really really excited. some planes to orlando have TV's on them with shows or games that the kids can do (though im not sure if this is an option during take off) try not to talk about the bad stuff (crashes/ turbulence). it might help though before hand to talk to him about turbulence and how its just some wind. for me takeoff is the hardest part, try to comfort him and let him chose where he wants to sit (window seat/ isle seat) and who he wants to sit next to (some times brothers or sisters are more comforting then parents) but let him choose. and lastly it might be a good idea if he has an older sibiling to talk to them and explain not to say anything scary about flying.( before i went ot florida when i was 7 my brother told me turbulence made planes crash, that really really did not help!)
good luck
im sure when the time comes, going to disney world will out weigh the plane fears

 

[dward1961]

We went to WDW in December Me, DD 20, Neice 26 and her 2 kids 2 and 3. My neice had never flown with the kids, she was a wreck, she went to the Health food store and found out about Rescue Remedy drops about 2 weeks before our trip. She put a couple of drops into a bottle of water. It really helped her she now uses it anytime she if feeling nervous. She had read online at a forum people have given these drops to their children, pets and plants.

I recommended these drops to a customer of mine for her husband, he was going to be flying and was really having a tough time just thinking about it, he also had a great trip.

Good Luck

 

[DebbieB]

Does he have any friends who have flown? I remember when my niece was 9, she was afraid and I was worried she would bail at the last minute. She had a friend who had flown to WDW and told her all about it, she was fine after that.

 

[JonS99]

Why not just drive???? Leave late afternoon, should be there well before lunch the next day...

 

[LSchrow]

i am 13 and still afraid to fly... ........im sure when the time comes, going to disney world will out weigh the plane fears

you're 13??!
that was really excellent advice

a few more suggestions:
~ if you have a small airport nearby, maybe see if you can take him (we have one about 10 miles from our house, & you can watch the private planes take-off & land). if you know any airline or FAA ppl, etc, you might be able to get a "private tour"
~ if he has a gameboy, etc, buy a new game to open on the plane (just can't play during take-off/landing)
~ you already started getting him excited about what will happen once he's there (frozen cokes ). stay with it......have him help with the planning (rides, dinners, etc). get him his own copy of a guidebook & highlighter
~ put him "in charge" of the carry-ons: he can use the internet to find what is & is not allowed, as well as find required & recommended items: gum, snacks, ID, etc. (it'll give him a feeling of control over the situation, which tends to alleviate a lot of fear).

hth & have a great time!

 

[barnaby1]

i am 13 and still afraid to fly... i have flown many times before though. the one thing that helps me the most is when i am distracted having fun or really really excited. some planes to orlando have TV's on them with shows or games that the kids can do (though im not sure if this is an option during take off) try not to talk about the bad stuff (crashes/ turbulence). it might help though before hand to talk to him about turbulence and how its just some wind. for me takeoff is the hardest part, try to comfort him and let him chose where he wants to sit (window seat/ isle seat) and who he wants to sit next to (some times brothers or sisters are more comforting then parents) but let him choose. and lastly it might be a good idea if he has an older sibiling to talk to them and explain not to say anything scary about flying.( before i went ot florida when i was 7 my brother told me turbulence made planes crash, that really really did not help!)
good luck
im sure when the time comes, going to disney world will out weigh the plane fears

I would show him this reply. What a wonderfully enlightened young lady!

I certainly wouldn't, as one person suggested, just drive anyway. That is just going to encourage his fear. I am not suggesting that fears are not real but we need to teach our kids how to deal with and manage their fear(s).

 

[JonS99]

So instead of driving and spend a few more hours in the car, make your kid worry for the next several months and damper his excitement for the trip???

 

[McKeeFamily3]

i am 13 and still afraid to fly... i have flown many times before though. the one thing that helps me the most is when i am distracted having fun or really really excited. some planes to orlando have TV's on them with shows or games that the kids can do (though im not sure if this is an option during take off) try not to talk about the bad stuff (crashes/ turbulence). it might help though before hand to talk to him about turbulence and how its just some wind. for me takeoff is the hardest part, try to comfort him and let him chose where he wants to sit (window seat/ isle seat) and who he wants to sit next to (some times brothers or sisters are more comforting then parents) but let him choose. and lastly it might be a good idea if he has an older sibiling to talk to them and explain not to say anything scary about flying.( before i went ot florida when i was 7 my brother told me turbulence made planes crash, that really really did not help!)
good luck
im sure when the time comes, going to disney world will out weigh the plane fears

It's great to have a young persons point of view on this, and very well put. I especially appreciate the idea of making sure that his older sister keeps any scary plane talk to herself. she is also 13 and has a tendency to be a little free with her comments

Why not just drive???? Leave late afternoon, should be there well before lunch the next day...

We just don't have the time to drive this year. Normally we enjoy it and the drive is always a fun part of our vacations but we are under certain time constraints for this vacation.

a few more suggestions:
~ if you have a small airport nearby, maybe see if you can take him (we have one about 10 miles from our house, & you can watch the private planes take-off & land).

We do have an airport nearby. I like this idea a lot. He's the kind of kid that, when he is interested in something, he immerses himself in it. He want's to know all about it and experience it if he can. These are the kind of ideas I was looking for. I am hoping to "hook" him, ya know? Get him interested and then let him get excited about it and then WANT to fly!

Thanks for all the tips everyone!

 

[Saskmom]

My 9 year old son is also afraid of flying. We are leaving on Monday and it will be the first flight for both of my kids. He is really freaked out. Started crying and got hysterical when we told him we were going (that was about a month ago). Since then we have shown him the Disney planning DVD and talked about all of the fun stuff there is to do there. He has calmed down quite a bit. We even took him to the Dr. to see if there was any anti-anxiety medication meant for children. The Dr. didn't think that was such a good idea so we agreed to take along Gravol that he will only take it he "needs" it. He has had a lot of friends either taking plane trips or have plane trips planned in the next few months and that has helped too. I think he will be fine unless we hit turbulence. Then both son and mom might need some anti-anxiety medication.
We have also been very careful not to have the news on when there is anything at all about planes like the wild Air Canada flight a couple weeks ago that had to make an emerg. landing in Calgary or the off runway landing at Heathrow in London.

 

[dawz1026]

I am 40 and hate flying,DH is 38 and hates it..dd 12 could go either way..we have flown many times and just prefer not to..Sorry I can relate to those fears...hope it works out for u guys..hey either way,fly or drive you will be in the same great place!

 

[snowbunny]

Been through this with my DS who is now 10.
Last year he was stressing about the flight so much - the night before, he asked his Magic 8 Ball, "will I die on the plane tomorrow?" The answer: "Signs point to Yes"

That was a fun night. I told him about all the exciting places my family went when we were kids and how exciting it was for us to get on the plane - my brothers were crazy about airplanes.

I would give him a listen but not let him wallow in his worries or feel that the decision as to whether to go is in his hands. My DS is a worrier anyway and he wants to know the adults are in control.

If you are not flying JetBlue (with the TVs) bring lots of stuff for him to do on the plane. My DS was stressing over a 2-hour car trip last weekend and I knew my plane tactics had worked because, as he worried that we would get into a crash, he said, can't we fly?

 

[dopeyfanatic]

If you can, take him to the airport that you will be flying from. It has helped my kids be even more excited about our trip in June. It will allow him to get to know the airport you'll be in, where you'll check in, where security is (if you can see it)....You might want to try explaining to him that there is less accidents with planes than cars. Make sure he's not going to then be afraid to go in a car! If you'll be flying in a Boeing, show him the website. It has pictures of the planes and really cool information, like how many people it can hold and such. Good luck!

 

[JonS99]

Sounds like some of you guys are spending 40 hours convincing your kids that flying is ok so you can save 10 hours by not driving to WDW..

 

[SusanSeng]

Flying is safe and I think that is what they are trying to teach their kids.
They are not asking them to jump out of the plane.
I am also afraid to fly but this is NOT something I want for my kids. If I knew my kids were afraid to fly, I would do everything I possibly could to help them get past this fear. Our children have the world at their feet and if they are afraid to fly, they won't get to far.

My concern would be if you did drive because your child was too afraid, what would you then be teaching them.

Good Luck with everything.

 

[snowbunny]

Sounds like some of you guys are spending 40 hours convincing your kids that flying is ok so you can save 10 hours by not driving to WDW..

My DS got over this hump and the OP's can too and it will make his life easier in the long run. I fly frequently and I'll never lose all of my fear, but I won't allow it to hold me or my children back in life. And as I tell my DS, we're far more likely to get hurt driving to the airport than on that plane.

It's one thing to give their fears a respectful hearing. Quite another to validate those fears (which is not really what the kids want) by saying, okay, you're right, flying is scary and dangerous! Let's drive!

 

[marc1477]

the suggestion that i made earlier is actual video someone took from their seats. the one shows the jet coming in for a landing and it shows what the wings do and how the flaps work. the other one is opposite where is shows the plane taxi out and turn onto runway and take off. might get the kids to get intrested especially if you get behind or on the wing and a window seat.

 

[caribn7]

On our first family trip to WDW, My nephew was really apprehensive about flying. I didn't realize it until we were already on the plane. He had a window seat, so I told him to count the lights on the edge of the runway. He started to count faster and faster until we were airborne. He was totally fine with after that. I think if you can get him thinking about something else at least during take off, he will be fine.