3 yr old left in car .....are you freakin kidding me?!

[luvsJack]

You don't know anyone who has found a new job because the old one wasn't working for them? People do that all the time. It isn't really a crazy concept. People even go back go school and train for new jobs. Or people alter things on their personal lives to make their days go more smoothly. People have choices.

Sure I do. I have done it myself. But I have also know people that are in situations that for the moment in time, they cannot make a change. No one hiring is a biggie.

My son is a single parent. And for right now he isn't getting a lot of sleep at night because of his work hours. The hours are changing and the girls will start preschool soon so change IS coming but for now, its just not there.

He cannot find another job making the same money with the same benefits he has now. So, if those changes were not coming for him; he would have no real choice but to continue with little sleep. And for now, I text him when he is at work to make sure everyone made it to their destination safely.

Of course lots of people go back to school and train for a new job--and for the time they are in school they are MORE sleep deprived than they were in the first place, not exactly fixing the problem at hand.


I didn't say you were lucky. I just said that you obviously had options that others may not have.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Exactly. People do have choices. My sister is a nurse, she works four 12 hr shifts in a row, then has 4 days off. She's EXHAUSTED and is looking into a nursing position that requires day shifts only, monday to friday. She went for an interview for day-surgery, as it would be 9-5, 10-6 or 11-7, which she would love. She said if they offer it to her, she will take it! There are definitely options and choices. its not always easy, but if you keep trying it is possible.

You don't know anyone who has found a new job because the old one wasn't working for them? People do that all the time. It isn't really a crazy concept. People even go back go school and train for new jobs. Or people alter things on their personal lives to make their days go more smoothly. People have choices.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Many 3yos are rear facing. Right now there are a lot of carseats available that can rear face to 40lbs, which IIRC is about 90th percentile for 3yo girls (been a while since I've seen a boys' growth chart so not sure on that one). My youngest will be 5 next month and could still rear face in her current carseat, if I felt it was a battle worth fighting to get her over how much she hates it.

And the issue is on the rise as carseat requirements and recommendations keep kids in carseats and facing the rear longer. There certainly seems to be a trade-off there; safer seats and seat positioning save lives, but have also created this secondary problem.

I have to wonder if the popularity of SUVs also has something to do with it. These vehicles are often larger, putting more distance between the driver and what's going on in the back seats. They are also higher so when you walk past the window, you don't see in as well as you would a regular car.

 

[Manateemum]

Sure I do. I have done it myself. But I have also know people that are in situations that for the moment in time, they cannot make a change. No one hiring is a biggie.

My son is a single parent. And for right now he isn't getting a lot of sleep at night because of his work hours. The hours are changing and the girls will start preschool soon so change IS coming but for now, its just not there.

He cannot find another job making the same money with the same benefits he has now. So, if those changes were not coming for him; he would have no real choice but to continue with little sleep. And for now, I text him when he is at work to make sure everyone made it to their destination safely.

Of course lots of people go back to school and train for a new job--and for the time they are in school they are MORE sleep deprived than they were in the first place, not exactly fixing the problem at hand.

I didn't say you were lucky. I just said that you obviously had options that others may not have.

I didn't "have" options, I created them. I'm not special, if I can do it, anyone can.

I wouldn't alter my situation if I was your son either, like you said, change is in sight, and you are helping to make sure everyone stays safe. That is a good thing. If I was in his position and no change was in sight, I'd at least be looking at my options. I don't think anyone has their lives perfectly balanced. We are looking at making another rather large change in our family over the next year or so which will hopefully help us regain some balance that we've lost as our family needs changed. I just don't like it when people's attitude is "well this is my job/life/situation, what am I supposed to do?" Everyone can make change in their lives. Everyone.

 

[sam_gordon]

I still can't get my head round it . Surely someone put the child in the car if it was in a rear facing seat ? Surely when they dropped the other two they would realise one wasn't there ? Surely the other kids would ask where the 3rd was ? I really don't get it. I don't think no matter how tired I was I would forget a child under no circumstance and if by some miracle I did my other child would certainly remind me .. It don't add up IMO :/

So you think this was intentional?

Did you read the Washington Post article linked early on in the thread? Yes, if you like, it's a "perfect storm". Someone obviously put the child in the car seat, but just as obviously, they didn't realize one child was "missing" at the sitters. Obviously the other kids didn't notice the missing child. It's not a grand conspiracy.

 

[visionsfantastic]

So you think this was intentional?

Did you read the Washington Post article linked early on in the thread? Yes, if you like, it's a "perfect storm". Someone obviously put the child in the car seat, but just as obviously, they didn't realize one child was "missing" at the sitters. Obviously the other kids didn't notice the missing child. It's not a grand conspiracy.

Not saying I think it's intentional . In my personal opinion It just doesn't add up. I just can't understand how you can not notice that one child out of your 3 is missing .. A normal babysitter would ask where the 3rd was if they were supposed to have all 3 ? It's just a very odd story and I don't see myself how it could happen . I honestly dont think no matter what id ever forgwt my child. Everyone's entitled to there own opinions

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

While not a parent, I posted earlier in the thread that a care giver (independent, not part of a center) left one of her children and another child in a car when she went into a store. She had some kind of mental issues, and the other child ended up dying. She was prosecuted and given jail time.

Did she do it knowingly? If she was aware that the children were there when she stepped out of the car, that's an entirely different thing.

 

[wvjules]

I still can't get my head round it . Surely someone put the child in the car if it was in a rear facing seat ? Surely when they dropped the other two they would realise one wasn't there ? Surely the other kids would ask where the 3rd was ? I really don't get it. I don't think no matter how tired I was I would forget a child under no circumstance and if by some miracle I did my other child would certainly remind me .. It don't add up IMO :/

Me either . It doesn't make any sense, I too can see how something could be a accident .. But myself personal I really don't think I'd forget either of my children , but somebody else may do due to stress or something but this story doesn't add up at all to me .. If I was the babysitter I would straight away ask where the other child was I wouldn't just assume they were taking that one with them

Might be more understandable if they had like 12 kids and was in a rush but there's 3 .. Two of which are over 3 and one of which must have been in the back too ? I'm sorry to say it but I don't see how you could be distraught enough to forget a child but remember the others ?

Sounds to me like you are implying (or believe) that the parents intentionally left the third child in the car?

 

[visionsfantastic]

Sounds to me like you are implying (or believe) that the parents intentionally left the third child in the car?

I don't know what I think tbh I don't think someone would intentionally leave a child in a car but at the same time I don't understand how with this situation especially with dropping of two others how you couldn't notice when you left them behind with the babysitter that the 3rd wasn't there .. It's just a weird story

 

[luvsJack]

I didn't "have" options, I created them. I'm not special, if I can do it, anyone can.

I wouldn't alter my situation if I was your son either, like you said, change is in sight, and you are helping to make sure everyone stays safe. That is a good thing. If I was in his position and no change was in sight, I'd at least be looking at my options. I don't think anyone has their lives perfectly balanced. We are looking at making another rather large change in our family over the next year or so which will hopefully help us regain some balance that we've lost as our family needs changed. I just don't like it when people's attitude is "well this is my job/life/situation, what am I supposed to do?" Everyone can make change in their lives. Everyone.

Usually yes, but not always. And even if they can, those changes don't always come fast enough to prevent some sleep deprivation that can cause these kinds of accidents.

That's the thing. For the subject of the OP and leaving kids in cars--it can happen to sleep deprived parents. Whether they are sleep deprived for 5 months while waiting for change or for a year until the child sleeps all night or for all of the years their child is young enough for this to happen to, it can still happen.

It can happen to anyone at anytime. Sleep deprivation is just one of many things that can cause it. Simply change of routine can cause it.

Telling people they have to change their lives is not preventive of these kinds of accidents.

 

[Colleen27]

I have to wonder if the popularity of SUVs also has something to do with it. These vehicles are often larger, putting more distance between the driver and what's going on in the back seats. They are also higher so when you walk past the window, you don't see in as well as you would a regular car.

Maybe. I don't really remember when SUVs first got popular but I would think minivans would be just as problematic on that count and they were around long before these stories really spiked.

A friend linked this on FB:

Notice that heat-related deaths jump a bit in the early 90s, and then jump again and stay high from the late 90s to the present. This roughly coincides with the era when there was a big push to ensure infants be placed in rear-facing carseats. When my son was born in '98 it wasn't yet law but was AAP recommended until age 1. By the time my last child was born in '08 it was law until 1yo and recommended for much longer. I wonder if post-2011 statistics will show another jump, because that's the year the AAP officially updated their recommendation to a minimum of two years and longer when possible.

 

[Manateemum]

I think the thing I find toughest about these cases is that there is such a simple solution - look into the car seats each and every time you leave the car. If breaks in routine contribute to these deaths, then make this an unchanging part of your routine. I don't think it is too hard to make that into a habit, whether you use the purse idea or whatever.

In many other accidental death/injury cases, there are other factors, including the child themselves. Maybe before they could never climb so high, but this time they did and hurt themselves. Maybe you latched the gate to the pool, but the latch malfunctions and a kid slips through, you put the child proof cap back on the medicine, but the threads went crooked and your kid got the lid off etc. etc.

Avoiding this type of death is literally as simple as checking the backseat each time.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Wow it happened yet again in my home town. Second time in 24 hrs. Mother is charged.

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/06/27/mother_arrested_after_toddler_left_in_car_in_markham.html

 

[visionsfantastic]

What on earth is wrong with people ? This upsets me deeply .

 

[goofyintoronto]

What on earth is wrong with people ? This upsets me deeply .

Im sitting in my living room and wondering the same thing. Honestly. Its so disturbing.

 

[visionsfantastic]

Im sitting in my living room and wondering the same thing. Honestly. Its so disturbing.

It's so upsetting those poor children .. It breaks my heart to think how they suffered

 

[Nancyg56]

I don't know what I think tbh I don't think someone would intentionally leave a child in a car but at the same time I don't understand how with this situation especially with dropping of two others how you couldn't notice when you left them behind with the babysitter that the 3rd wasn't there .. It's just a weird story

You cannot understand because it is inconceivable that any one of us could be so distracted that we would forget a child. But the truth is that under some circumstance, people go on autopilot and it happens. No one ever sets out to do this, and no one ever thinks that they would do such a thing, but in the original case we were discussing, that is exactly what happened.

If you are second guessing those poor people, can you even imagine how they would turn back the clock if it was at all possible? I doubt that these people were the people who leave kids in the car to go shopping, or to the casino. I live in Ct and the security folks are always finding little ones left behind even though there are babysitting services available. They check for them as part of their routine.

It's so upsetting those poor children .. It breaks my heart to think how they suffered

It sure does. I read one of the subsequent stories posted and it seems to be two very different circumstances.

 

[goofyintoronto]

It's so upsetting those poor children .. It breaks my heart to think how they suffered

Re: the article from yesterday, I heard on the news that it was the granparents who forgot the child in the car (while both parents were at work). Can you imagine the parents reaction when they get that phone call?

 

[visionsfantastic]

Literally makes me want to cry I don't even know what I'd do if I was in that situation it makes me glad I don't drive so it's ruled our completely

 

[Nancyg56]

Re: the article from yesterday, I heard on the news that it was the granparents who forgot the child in the car (while both parents were at work). Can you imagine the parents reaction when they get that phone call?

Literally makes me want to cry I don't even know what I'd do if I was in that situation it makes me glad I don't drive so it's ruled our completely

Who drives your children? This is the thing, it can happen to anyone. As someone posted way upthread, But for the Grace of God, there go I.