Kids and too much food?

[DanInMN]

We adopted twin teen girls from Colombia last year. I'd like to take them on a cruise, but... they tend to eat way too much and are gaining excess weight. They will eat all we have of whatever they like and have no concept of some now and some later. This may be due to the limitations they had in orphanage life. So I'm thinking a cruise may be a bad idea with "free" food everywhere all the time. I'd appreciate others thoughts on this. Maybe we should just visit a non-all-inclusive beach resort somewhere so they can swim?

 

[DnA2010]

Very exciting! How old are they? I'd say go and let them eat what they want...it is a vacation- work on exercise and food intake when you are home.

 

[TavieP]

Let them go, and let them eat what they want and as much as they want. Everyday life isn't like a cruise, where the food is part of the "entertainment" (for better or for worse) and it would suck to deprive them of a fun experience because of any concerns you have about their weight.

If they're eating when they're hungry and stopping when they're full, I'm sure they're fine. If they're experiencing disordered eating behaviors, it's something you should probably discuss with a physician, but it shouldn't have any relevance over their ability to have a fun vacation.

 

[DanInMN]

Very exciting! How old are they? I'd say go and let them eat what they want...it is a vacation- work on exercise and food intake when you are home.

The girls are 15 years old.

 

[Paula Sedley-Burke]

Another vote for let them be free on their vacation have a great time. If they were denied in their orphanage they may take time to find their own balance. Let them experiment for a while. It might take then a bit longer to adjust. What a nice thing you did adopted them and now they are going on a cruise! Have a great time.

 

[DanInMN]

The girls are 15 years old.

And super cute too

 

[DnA2010]

Gorgeous! Go and come back and tell us all about it!

 

[bumbershoot]

I'd like to take them on a cruise, but... they tend to eat way too much and are gaining excess weight. They will eat all we have of whatever they like and have no concept of some now and some later. This may be due to the limitations they had in orphanage life.

I think that you're heading down a slippery slope.

DS dances (at a healthy studio) and so I know a LOT of girls. Kids, preteens, and teens. And even with "normal" eating, many girls just gain a bit around that time. (also at around 11ish) If their parents chill out and don't get on their case about it, they will naturally slow down and stop gaining.

Especially since you don't necessarily know their family/genetic backgrounds, it's hard to determine what's excess at this point. I remember my cousin having to bring a picture of her husband in to pediatrician appts so the doctor could see what her son's dad looked like at that age. The doc was going by my cousin and her mom's body types and thought that her son was far too skinny. But his dad was a total beanpole as a baby and toddler, then naturally grew stronger and a bit bigger in bulk. You don't necessarily have that info. So tread carefully.

And as a female whose mom accidentally sent her bordering an eating disorder, just by complaining about herself (she was shorter and tinier than I was, so to hear her complain about herself really hurt me!), I beg of you to hold back. If cruising sounds like fun, don't let the food stop you. Don't choose a resort vacation just so they can swim (aka be active and burn calories). Choose a resort because it sounds like fun.

They look like active girls to me.

 

[ldo]

my vote for limiting food relates to encouraging healthy eating for kids/teens all the time. I have 3 teens. I stress that we have veggies/fruit, protein with our meals and that chips/fries, sweets are treats. We don't have soda at home. You can set a good example at the buffet by getting salad 1st or raw veggies. Dinner can be salad/fruit plate 1st, with 1 piece of bread--1 roll before dinner is a good rule anyway. Active teens who eat enough fruit/veggies/protein should not be gaining too much weight. On a cruise, as long as they have fruit/veggies/protein, I let them have what they want.

 

[DanInMN]

We do what we can, yet there are so many opportunities for them to eat junk food! Friends houses, school, WDW... they have added 30 pounds each in just 10 months.

 

[DLgal]

We do what we can, yet there are so many opportunities for them to eat junk food! Friends houses, school, WDW... they have added 30 pounds each in just 10 months.

That's not good. That is a lot of weight for that age. I would talk to their pediatrician and perhaps visit with a nutritionist. They likely have issues with food due to their past, but overeating is going to lead them down a very difficult road if they continue. You want what is best for them, I assume, so they may actually need quite a lot of education and counseling to get this under control, because they likely already have a type of eating disorder.

They likely don't realize that cruise=unlimited "free" food. I would take the cruise, but don't let them know they can eat anytime they want. Set mealtimes and do maybe one snack/treat per day. I have to do that with my kids at Disney because they are both on the cusp between normal and overweight and we want them to learn healthy eating habits and not that vacation means 24/7 junk food.

 

[ldo]

if underweight, 30 lbs. for 15 yr old who's 5.4 or so is not that much, but I'm sure you will follow up with next Dr. appt. My DD has a good friend who eats all junk. I give DD some advice and try to make up the difference at home. I would be more concerned about the friends. For DD, I even had to start having her come home for dinner (they live next door) to get a healthier meal. The cruise could actually be a good 24/7 way to show some healthy eating--and talk about how the foods are good for their bodies--like fuel for cars and that some fuel is better than others. chances are, they had no nutritional teaching in younger years. simple things like "an apple or orange is better for you than a glass of juice because..." "When we eat cookies or a brownie, milk or water instead of soda would be a good choice. That way we can make that treat a little bit healthier." Maybe give them some eating guidelines for friends like "2 snacks at friends" is OK, more than that means you are hungry and need to eat a meal or come home for dinner. I usually feed DD something BEFORE she goes to friends now--like a banana and cheese stick. I stress healthy eating for their bodies to work great and feel great now and in the future vs. that's "fattening" or weight gain.

 

[DanInMN]

if underweight, 30 lbs. for 15 yr old who's 5.4 or so is not that much, but I'm sure you will follow up with next Dr. appt.

They were a little overweight before, and getting more so. Dr. appointments next week.

 

[Frozen2014]

Our kids love sweets, and so the cruise was a dream to them. We try to teach our kids more in term of "you don't want a tummy ache" and teach our kids about the importance of "eating healthy" . I worry more about all the sugar and not the weight gain. So we would let them have treats everyday but not at every meal. So I think it's a good teaching thing. I wouldn't avoid the cruise. It's a wonderful family vacation and there is so much to do. If you are worried of weight/health, there is so much you can do at the same time to keep active. And having said that, yes for the week, our kids did eat worse than at home, but it's about balance. Let us know what you decide.

 

[DisMommyTX]

This is not uncommon with adopted kids, but is actually a much larger issue that has little to do with nutrition or the food itself. Please discuss it with your girls' therapist. If you don't have an amazing therapist who specializes in adoption cases and really 'gets' your girls, then find one asap.

As for the cruise, I highly recommend vacationing with new family members. Our son's attachment became much stronger during our first couple trips together as a family because he was with us 24/7, no work or school distractions. Also, in the new environments and changing routine, he was more dependent on us, which helped him learn to trust us and our decisions. If you do choose a cruise (or any other vacation), I encourage you to stay together most of the time. Plan to do activities as a family, and avoid the temptation to let the hand with the other kids too much. Family bonding time is so critical those first couple years, but it is especially hard to find with teens!

 

[jahber]

I have a similar issue with my son (who isn't adopted). He's 9, and he eats and eats and eats. He has gained some weight this year, which is typical for the men in my family at this age. It's like clockwork, one after the other, the boys put on weight at 9 or 10 and then shoot up and it's all balanced out. But in the meantime, we have many discussions of eating only when you're hungry, making good choices, choosing fruit, etc. The ability to stop eating when you aren't hungry any longer is a tough one for some people (me included!), so I need to start early with my son. It's NOT about how much he weighs or how his clothes fit--we have never even mentioned that to him. It's ALL about being healthy and treating your body well.
That said, when we are on our cruise next month, he will be allowed to monitor his own food and make choices when we aren't around. It's vacation, after all. And I know you don't want to give your girls food issues, so I agree with the suggestions to address the eating in therapy and to have lots and lots of talks about why we eat and what we eat. Teenagers are old enough to understand emotional eating, mindless eating, eating to be social, etc. And maybe help them set an activity goal on the cruise, as well. Like, play a game of basketball, go for a walk,swim, take the stairs 5 times a day, or something every day. I know I'm tempted to be a slug every day of a cruise, so I always take the stairs when I can. Most of all, I know you'll have fun. What a great gift to be on vacation as a family!

 

[DanInMN]

Wow, it seems that the group recommendation is unanimous - take the girls on a cruise!

They have already had an exciting (and sometimes challenging) year... new parents, new home, new school, new friends, and new language. Plus many fun activities, including a spring break trip to WDW. They have a couple days off from school in October for teacher workshops, and we are thinking about taking a cruise that week.

Although challenging, adopting older kids is so much fun! If you live in Minnesota or Wisconsin check out friendsoffanaminnesota.org

“To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.” ― Dr. Seuss

 

[Ofinn]

I would take them on the cruise, but you need to spend some time at home teaching them how to eat healthy, and excercise. 30 lbs in 10 months is way to much that is what a pregnant women gains. This is something you need to work on at home, but I wouldn't cancel a cruise because of it. Were so worried about causing eating disorders now we let kids get fat. I see so many overweight kids now. It causes so many health problems down the road, and it's much harder to lose weight as an adult.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

Our day to day habits are much more important and have much more impact on our overall health than our vacation habits. Plus, on vacation, they will be swimming and walking everywhere - they will get more exercise than they normally get at home.

 

[Madteaparty001]

Having studied nutrition quite a bit for my pharmacy degree there are a few tips I can give that may help. First and foremost, they're teenagers, their hormones are all over the place and that will affect appetite a lot.

Secondly, food in a America is waaaaay more sugar heavy than other parts of the world, this can become addictive, just think about yogurt: plain greek yogurt and regular fruit flavored yogurt have similar amounts of sugar, but the sugar in plain greek yogurt is naturally occurring with higher amounts of protein while the regular flavored yogurt has sugar added in and doesn't satisfy as long (an example to counter this is to buy plain greek yogurt and add half a banana and a teaspoon of honey sweetened jam to the bowl, better flavor, higher fiber content, and should keep a person full until lunch, you can also add a handful of almonds for crunch).

Thirdly, water, oh my gosh water, most people don't drink enough and often confuse thirst for hunger. Have them start drinking a full glass of water before they eat a meal, make it a habit, ingrain it in them, it will help a lot.

Finally, exercise, if they truly have an eating disorder pushing them to eat less may only make it worse (think hiding food in their bedrooms and eating worse things out of sight, you don't want to shame them). If you can't get their intake of calories less by replacing their main source of food with fruits and veggies put them in sports to turn the excess into lean muscle. Soccer, track, dance, swim, anything that has them sweating for an hour several days a week.

Remember it's not about putting them on a diet, diets are temporary, it's about a lifestyle change.